Yep, that’s about how I felt this morning following last night’s raucuous New Year’s Eve celebration. Our guests were prompt, arriving by 7:30 p.m., as requested (or we were eating without ’em). We had dinner, dessert, did the dishes and were done just in time for…10:00 p.m.! We still had TWO HOURS to kill! Now I’ve never run an Ironman Marathon but I’m pretty sure those two hours were akin to participating in one but with less swimming and biking and more meandering anecdotes and orange-flavored Grand Marnier.
Parents, please consult this handy guide to proper child care: http://funkypickens.com/how-to-be-a-parent/
It’s also a useful resource for non-parents as well. For instance, I found a few of these tips particularly informative:
As we look forward dot 2014, let’s look back on the mistakes of 2013 with these Worst of Lists:
The worst TV of 2013 · The A.V. Club
“Worst suicide attempt: Maya Lewis, Scandal
Scandal took gore up a notch when Olivia Pope’s mother, played by Khandi Alexander, ate her own wrists to get transferred from her high-security cell to an infirmary, allowing for her easy escape.”
“4. Man Of Steel
One of the most hilariously pretentious scenes in Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises was the football stadium apocalypse, which was scored to a boy soprano singing “The Star-Spangled Banner.” Zack Snyder’s Man Of Steel sustains that same level of pomposity over 143 interminable minutes.”
The Worst Video Games of 2013 – Forbes
”Ride to Hell: Retribution is a spectacular monument to failure. If failure were Paris, Ride to Hell would be the Arc de Triomphe…”
Entertainment’s worst moments of 2013 | Toronto Star
“Harlem Shake: The backlash started in March. But the damage was already done. By early February, the Harlem Shake was a meme, a retina-singeing, eardrum-detonating series of copycat videos that proved talent was not a strict condition of popularity in 2013.”
The 5 Worst Toys of 2013 | Fast Company | Business + Innovation
The iPotty
The 20 Worst People of 2013 – Village Voice Blogs
“The bank held the mortgage on his Hermosa Beach, California condo. Unfortunately for Larry, Wells Fargo mistook him for another customer, who happened to owe thirteen grand in back taxes. Despite his protests, it doubled Larry’s mortgage to pay off the non-existent taxes. He quickly fell behind.
At some point, Wells Fargo discovered it had confused Larry with another resident of his complex. But the company foreclosed on him anyway.
Being a banker means never having to say you’re sorry. And you get to take people’s homes. It’s a win-win situation.
Larry lost his condo and was forced into assisted living.”
Horovitz: 5 worst ads of 2013 more than stank – USA Today
The worst social media blunders of 2013 | New York Post
The 39 Worst Words, Phrases, and Parts of Speech of 2013 | Mother …
“Donald Trump is considering a run for…” No, he’s not. He just isn’t. And if you’d like to get him unearned publicity, you should at least get some stock options out of it.”
” ‘Results’ before the ‘election’
An election app released by the Central Asian nation of Azerbaijan had the incumbent president leading — a full day before the October vote. The partial “results,” blamed by the government on a errant test of the online app, showing hypothetical results from one district, had President Ilham Aliyev winning in a landslide. And he did.”
20 worst rap lyrics of 2013 – AUX.tv
Viral Internet Trends: Worst Internet Trends Of 2013 – MensXP.com
I don’t understand what’s so bad about the iPotty. If you had a kid who didn’t want to even try the potty, the chance for screen time would encourage that. And it can’t come loose so they can’t throw it on the tile. If you’re worried about smearing, that’s an older kid thing…
On that worst TV list – I tried to watch Hostages, I really did. I saved them all up and tried to watch them on the weekend before Christmas. I got through three whole episodes before I choked on all the plot complications they were trying to get me to swallow. Cleared all of it off the dvr and felt much better.
Are we still playing fantasy television? How are we doing?
Let me get this straight – so you’re NOT supposed to put the baby in the dryer to dry it off? Hmm.
Anyway, I didn’t think “Man of Steel” was THAT pompous. Just not very good. Especially the egregious last 30 minutes.
Here’s a picture of what my street looked like on Monday. Ugh. I did get my driveway eventually cleared though.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v98/gforce2002/1A0BA72F-32C1-41CA-A3D0-F4B630C7BF2B_zpsegb0moma.jpg
Also, here was my new year’s dinner today – we had it at the hospital (provided by them, too!)
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v98/gforce2002/E8D86BFF-C2A4-454C-B039-3C1A4470FD21_zps2epcgj1r.jpg
Not exactly a foodie paradise. But, it wasn’t actually terrible (well, the turkey maybe), but the roll was fresh and the dessert, “creamsicle cake” was actually pretty good. Anyway, I think my stepmom enjoyed it, I was there as well as her niece and nephew.
i love the baby instructions with pictures! :p
Happy New Year!!
Oooh, please, first comment of 2014! That would be cool!
Damn!
Consider publishing a cookbook filled with your family recipes! I would buy it.
That shrimp dish looks amazing.
Joe, can you do us all a favor and turn the ‘snow’ effect off your blog?
@JeffW – Here is the story (with picture) about the family and their cheesecake. The comments about it are just as hilarious.
http://www.azcentral.com/community/scottsdale/articles/20131225scottsdale-family-cheesecake-crucifix-miracle.html
Joe, you wouldn’t have to tell me twice. I’d be on time, if not early for your mom’s lasagna and shrimp. And if that doesn’t look heavenly enough, take a look at that dessert table. Wow!! I’d start with a piece of that chocolate cake! And may I ask what kind of dog Ralphie is? He is so cute and cuddley. He looks like a mix between dachshund and something else.
about the worst people of ’13;
there’s a reason that banks are considered heartless. also, most of the people on that could be considered just stupid criminals.
about the worst social media blunders;
regarding the EMT; i never heard of that word. i guess you learn something new all of the time.
@ arcticgoddess – Perhaps first curse word of 2014? 😉
das
@Ponytail:
Okay, now I’m thinking less Carny side show and more publicity hounds…
@Marsha_R
Of course, just at the moment because of it being the festive period not much is really happening with regards to stuff being renewed or cancelled, of course speculation is always welcomed.
~The wine or the plate of desserts with your nametag in front of them, Are they designated for you?? I would claim the desserts, but thats just me. Love cheesy lasagna, thanks Momma Mallozzi!! yummy! It all looks delicious. Ralphie does not look spoiled at all. How cute!
Thanks for the list of crap charities, I had a feeling a lot of places that want money could be like that. I didn’t see any of those 15 worst films, but I can name a few others.
@gforce, sorry about the sn** , hope the snowplow or sping comes to your street soon.
The year is off to a great start, since we have food AND doggie pictures in the first post of 2014. And Man of Steel was an ok movie, an interesting interpretation of Supes, up until Smallville was destroyed. I guess that was foreshadowing what was going to happen to Metropolis. Like too many other movies, the end completely killed the movie for me.
other than that, I would just as soon not look back any more on 2014, and keep my eyes forward. And planning to stay out of lurk mode for the year. I may not make the top 5 posting lists this year, but I hope to gain honorable mention. 1 down, 364 to go.
Happy New Year, peoples!
I missed the fireworks and all on NYeve, cos some people wouldn’t walk faster and so when they went off, all the skyscrapers hit them from view. I did however, see flashes of light and smoke. Oh, and then the train man ordered a special train just for our line, so that they could clear our platform – since no one had been able to get on a train for 1.5 hrs.
Cheers to a safe and happy 2014, everyone 🙂
One thing has not changed in 2014 – the food pix make me hungry.
yummy…yeah, just call, we will be on time for the feeding!
I would be on time for shrimp! And dessert…. oh my. I had foofoo cheeses and leftover gingerbread, and 2/3rds of a bottle of Moet. I broke out the Waterford flute to be fancy. Watched campy rock musicals, listened to the fireworks echoing down my chimney. Too darn cold to go outside.
gforce, I like the festive placemat. At least that’s food and not “clear liquid diet”.
Wells Fargo, I hate you. Man of Steel was pretty awful, luckily it was also forgetable. I don’t know what Candy Crush is, but I could get into playing Sugar Rush Speedway or Hero’s Duty.
My favorite things of 2013 were American Horror Story, World War Z, Hemlock Grove, The Purge, Walking Dead; it was a good year for zombies and mayhem.
@shinyhula
I can see The Walking Dead easily going on for 10 seasons too. I’m more curious what direction the 5th season will take personally.
One person missing from that worst people of 2013 list.
As far as the TV shows, I agree with their top pick. “Dads” should have been great TV. All-star cast. Seth MacFarlane. I told my Fox contact that I just could not watch it. I tried. Gave it the usual 6 episodes. But I felt so inadequate when the laughter occurred thinking why am *I* not finding this funny?
I didn’t think Dexter was bad. Strange yes. Did I like the ending? No. Worst finale of all time? Harsh. Without spoiling it for those who haven’t seen it, I liked the ending that I think they should have stopped at. But then I think they might have tried it out on audiences and it didn’t do well so they added what I call a “burp.”
“The Following”‘ comments. Don’t agree with. The book was supposed to be stupid because you have an egomaniac thinking he could write a great book. Even his original book failed miserably and he had the person killed who gave his book a poor review and thus made him a joke as an author to begin with.
The rest of it I didn’t get to watch.