1

Some sad news to pass along.  This morning, I learned that a member of our extended blog family passed away.    Cheryl, or cherluvya, as many of you knew her, was a longtime Stargate fan who frequented this blog on a regular basis.  In the all-too short time we spent with Cheryl, we got to know her as a kind and generous soul who placed her family above all.  Diagnosed with breast cancer in late 2010, she underwent treatments that taxed her physically, at one point affecting her ability to read.  And yet, despite her difficulties, she remained unflaggingly positive, both here and on twitter (https://twitter.com/cherluvya) where her cheerful attitude and positive outlook buoyed the spirits of all who knew her.

I suspect she was a very private person and, for that reason, only truly discussed her health issues on her personal blog.  There is a September 2010 entry detailing the initial diagnosis:

September 2010

And then, in October, an account of a near-death experience:

October 2010

In addition to our conversations on this blog, Cheryl and I also exchanged the occasional emails – the first not long after her cancer diagnosis, another late last year when she told me she was working on a book series inspired by her grandchildren.  The last one I received was a little over a month ago following the wedding of her youngest daughter.  She updated me on the progress of her book, forwarded pictures of her grandkids, and left me with the following observation from Dr. Bob Moorehead:

SOMETHING TO PONDER
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. 
 
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. 
 
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
 
We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things. 
 
We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. 
 
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete. 
 
Remember to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
 
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. 
 
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.
 
Remember, to say, ‘I love you’ to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
 
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
 
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
 
And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away.
George Carlin

64 thoughts on “October 9, 2013: In memory of Cheryl

  1. Very sad, and she will be sorely missed. I had noticed that she hadn’t been posting much in the last little while and wondered how things were going. She did have a wonderful attitude. My deepest condolences to her family and all that knew her.

  2. I just read about this today. It’s horrible awful news! I haven’t talked to Cheryl in a while and didn’t realize she was so poorly. She was the sweetest, kindest person I knew. She always had something positive to say and her words were always kind. I never had the pleasure/honor of meeting her, but I so wish I had. The world has lost an angel. :’-(

  3. Beautiful tribute. I was on the receiving end of much of her wisdom. And I will always remember our #NakedGilmore hashtag game (she adored Patrick Gilmore), that made her Twitter-giggle. She loved Josh Groban. She loved going to the SGUChat room on nights when SGU was on (and later called SGURewind when reruns were on). But you are right. Above all, she adored her family and she fought so hard to remain with them for as long as she had. And I haven’t been able to stop crying all day. May I share what she said the last time we communicated? I was so down in the dumps about a piece of paper a doctor wrote out for us that we have to submit to the court to get guardianship of my son, Patrick, this coming December. And seeing it on paper was so difficult for me. It was just another step in the grieving process of all the things my Patrick, at age 18, is not going to do in his life. She wrote me this: “I love that you share his accomplishments. I believe he will be able to express himself…but it won’t be speech. Someday it will come to you…and your next thought will be “Why didn’t think is this before?” I believe everyone has a path. Your’s has been long and hugely personally draining. Believe…the path may change as they are all meant to do. Mostly our paths our own to travel. We are lucky to have those that understand and will walk with you awhile. In March I couldn’t speak one word. My mind is fine…but my body is slowly breaking down. I tell you of this because. Patrick…still thinks…his best friend is inside of him. When he speaks to himself he know how to express…but he gives messages but they get filtered out and sometime burn out before that intent reaches it’s destination. I have this going on in my body…and it scares me at times. But you know the ONE and only thing you need to teach Patrick he is loved. I know you do it all the time…you are such a good Mom. You were perfectly chosen to raise him…you never give up. But one day all out children move onto another part of life. You want it because you know it will help him…and that place in your heart is aching will always know that will be his place. I often don’t make sense sometimes…but I need to do it so I might hold onto to what is left of me.
    September 29 at 1:32am via mobile ”

    I wish I could understand why it seems like the good people in the world leave us and all the rotten ones get to stay for a very long time.

  4. Thank you Joe for letting us know, Cheryl had such an upbeat spirit in all her posts, I did not realize. My thoughts and prayers for her family and friends at this time. She will be missed… too soon…too soon.

  5. R.I.P Cheryl

    Sad to hear when anyone dies, hopefully everyone lives long and productive lives and not die before their time.

    Sucks that cancer takes away so many lives, perhaps if more effort was made into curing cancer and other such diseases instead of starting wars, people like Cheryl and others wouldn’t have to die so soon.

  6. PBMom said: “I wish I could understand why it seems like the good people in the world leave us and all the rotten ones get to stay for a very long time.”

    I don’t know – I feel very fortunate that folks like you guys are still around here! 🙂

  7. It is a sad day. My deepest condolences to Cheryl’s family. Her comments were always uplifting and bright, and I will miss them.

  8. Sad to hear of the passing of a lovely person. My condolences to her family and friends.

  9. My condolences to Cherly’s family also. Since I don’t always have time to read all the comments I don’t always remember everyone who posts regularly. I do know that she will be missed by more people than those who knew her personally.

  10. I didn’t know her well but I bet she would liked your tribute.
    @PBmom: I loved your story.
    I’ll miss her tweets. Whenever I had a bad day, Cheryl’s tweets would always give me persepective/peace. I was a big fan of her ascii-art, too.

  11. That was simply lovely, Joe…a lovely tribute to a lovely lady. Cheryl will certainly be missed. A sad day, indeed.

    Now I’m off to take Carlin’s advice, and hug my hubby.

    das

  12. I never know what to say about people who pass away to those who are left behind. There was a time I could say things like, “you will see her again”, or, “she’s in a better place”, but those words often ring hollow because they are said so often and who knows if the grieving family member even believes that there is life after death of some kind. So, I think I would just say, “my heart feels your pain…” I hope that I am remembered as fondly by so many as Cheryl was.

  13. So sad for her family’s and our loss of Cherluvya (her screen name was perfect), yet am glad for her release to God. Her tweets were always full of love, kindness, and wisdom. She was so uplifting. But where did all of that come from, while she was battling cancer? Maybe she answered it best, in a video she tweeted Sept. 23rd. God love ya, Cherluvya… <3

  14. Very sad news. Thanks for sharing, Joe & PBMom. She was well loved and very wise. Sincerest condolences to her family.

  15. Cherluvya was one of my favorites on Twitter and here. My thoughts and prayers are with her family. She will be truly missed.

  16. Beautiful, fitting tribute Joe to a special lady who was full of wisdom and grace. She touched a lot of people. Always enjoyed reading her comments here. She will be missed. Thinking of her family and wishing them peace.

  17. Such sad news. Thank you Joe for giving us a lovely tribute to her. And to PBMom for her beautiful words, and for the love of Beckett for the music that captured her spirit.

    I looked forward to reading her tweets almost everyday. They were always positive and inspiring, along with funny and wonderfully creative. And I think she delighted being in Twitter jail more than anyone I know.

    My deepest sympathy to her family and friends. And I will miss her.

  18. My deepest condolences to her family and friends. Cheryl was a brave and incredible soul to have remained positive and share her love with us, despite the turmoil she was going through.

    May she rest in peace.

  19. Beautiful tribute, Joe. Earlier this morning, I wasn’t sure if I should post anything about Cheryl that was posted by Brian and Peter on twitter. I’ve met them, and I knew I could trust their tweets. The odd thing is I don’t normally check either of my twitter accounts that early in the morning. She followed both my accounts. Cheryl’s Faith was strong despite what was happening to her. My condolences to her family and friends and may she rest in peace. 🙁

  20. This is such a beautiful tribute to Cheryl’s memory. Cheryl has this way of making everything seem better in this dark world we live in, nothing could ever really hold Cheryl down for long before she sprung back up cheering everyone up around her. I met Cheryl through the SGU fandom, in the chat rooms and then later skype groups, We grew into a little online skype family… Cheryl was one of the key people who encouraged me to make the Stargate fan Collage (http://twitpic.com/5ve6p6).. I thank Cheryl for that.

    I remember a day when i received a package from abroad one day, it was from Cheryl it was the funniest thing ever, we had previously discussed American sweets suck as twinkies and other cake/ sweet items in the US that I hadn’t really seen in the UK, the box was filled with an assortment of twinkies and other sweets. You can’t really claim to have a bad encounter with someone like Cheryl. She is Great.

    I was lucky to had been able to call Cheryl a friend, She’ll certainly be missed, I pray for her and her family. I miss her.

    Joe Mallozi, You did a great thing here sir.
    Many Thanks,
    Mario

  21. I know I haven’t been around in awhile, but Cheryl was always one whose comments I enjoyed reading. She was so compassionate when I had my miscarriage two years ago. Condolences to her family.

  22. Words don’t come as easy to me as they do to Joe and Cheryl. You’re both gifted and eloquent writers.

    I met Cheryl through this blog and got to know her through Twitter as well. We’d chat about Ivon or Patrick, haha she understood, about Stargate and her previous careers. I never got to meet Cheryl, although I did get to speak via a group Skype – I couldn’t keep up – I just sat and listened to everyone….haha.

    Cheryl was friendly and flirtatious. She treasured the friends she made online. Cheryl was thoughtful – I still have the handmade card she sent me once.

    I hadn’t talked to Cheryl in a while, yet chatted briefly via Twitter DM last week…. strangely we talked about death. She also filled me in on her family, she was so proud of them.

    My thoughts and prayers are with Cheryl’s family and her friends.

    I love that piece by George Carlin. It’s so true.
    Rest in Peace Cheryl.

    Maryanne – Chev

  23. So sad to hear about the passing of a fellow Stargate viewer. Cheryl will be missed by all whose lives she touched. My prayers to her family.

    However I must add that George Carlin did not write that essay and has very negative things to say about it being attributed to him. I believe that in honor of Cheryl, the rightful author of this beautiful essay, Jeff Dickson who in May of 998 posted the ‘Paradox of Our Time’ essay to his Hacks-R-Us online forum, should be credited for it http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/paradox.asp#FWTEEq2H5U4spreq.99

  24. Sad news. Condolences to Cheryl’s family. That was a very nice tribute, Joe. I hope that the NDE she chronicled in 2010 came true for her again this final time.

  25. So very sorry to hear. My deepest condolences to her family and friends. My own husband has survived cancer twice and I give thanks every day. Think I’ll go hug him right now. Thank you for sharing, Joe.

  26. So sorry to hear of her passing. Condolences to her family. She will be missed here and everywhere her impact was felt.

    -Mike A.

  27. I hate cancer. We have made such progress but so many still lost. She was such a kind person. There are no words that can give comfort, but I am sure her life has left an impact on her family and friends that will eventually shine through the pain.

  28. Invite to all: Wanted to invite you (and if you can pass along to everyone else) to the SGUChat where most of us got to know Cheryl really well. We’ll talk about her, funny things about her, words of wisdom, kind acts, etc.

    In honor of Cheryl Ann McCabe (aka cherluyva), on Friday night (tomorrow), Oct 11, 2013 we are going to watch the final 3 episodes of SGU and talk about the show and our memories of Cheryl, funny stories, her words of wisdom. Come join us. It is 1 a.m. BST, which is 8 p.m. Eastern time, 7 p.m. Central Time, 6 p.m. Mountain Time, 5 p.m. Pacific Time. I’m not sure what it would be in other countries though. Here is the link: http://sgurewind.com/chats/

    I’ll only be able to attend until about 9 p.m. My Patrick can’t tolerate me in the office typing–he can’t fall asleep. So I’ll only be able to review the last 2 with them.

    I am SURE #NakedGilmore hashtag game will come up. I’ll have to see if I can find some of those old tweets.

  29. It was good seeing random SGU cast/crew members paying their respects on twitter. Good that people care enough to do all this too, your tribute was excellent Joe, forgot to add in my other post.

  30. Cherluvya is a lovely person – in our realm and in the spirit world.
    Joe, Beautiful tribute – thanks.

  31. To Cheryl’s family, my deepest condolences on your loss. My mother is a 10 year survivor of breast cancer and my father will eventually lose his life to kidney cancer. I know all to well the heartache and pain that cancer can bring to a family. I also know the amazing gift a family receives when we are faced with the fact that everyday we spend with those we love is truly a gift. I cannot imaging what your family is going through at this moment, but please know that strangers and friends alike have you and yours in our prayers for the comfort and peace you will need. You are not alone.
    Shana

  32. My humble sympathies to Cheryl’s family and to all who knew her in any way. We are blessed, we truly are. God rest you sweetheart.

    Carol

  33. Such terrible news. My thoughts are with Cheryl’s family, and I hope they are surrounded with love and support right now. I’ll miss her presence in the comments here.

  34. So sorry to hear this. Thanks for sharing the video, FTLOB, and those who shared stories. Sounds like she was a really wonderful person.

  35. Thanks for writing this Joe. While I may not post much anymore, I see the people I’ve met here as extended family. When I’ve been going through some rough patches since Mum’s death, the people from your blog have always reached out through email to check I was ok. I’m sure having her web friends was a comfort to Cheryl. And I hope wherever she is now, she can smile knowing she’s impacted lives in a positive way during her too short time here.

  36. Godspeed Cheryl,
    always liked your blog.
    Now it’s time to step through the Stargate one final time.
    Rest in Peace

  37. So very sad to hear this news. My deepest sympathies to her family, friends and other blog acquaintances. RIP Cheryl, your warmth, wit, and caring will be missed.

  38. Deepest sympathies and condolences to Cheryl’s family and friends. RIP Cheryl, you will be missed so very much.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.