“Why,”I wondered, “is there a homeless man walking around my backyard?”
I parted the blinds and watched him, in his work boots, ratty jeans and Harley Davidson t-shirt, circle round the side of the house and over to the back gate where he fell into conversation with some guy standing in the alley, on the other side. I opened the back door and stepped out onto the porch to confront him. But instead of making a break for it, Harley Davidson smiled, waved, and asked: “Do you have a key to your gate here?” And then, reading my hesitation: “I’m here to fix the leak in your skylight.”
Oh. Oooooh. Right. The guy was here to fix the leak in my skylight, the latest in a long line of bad luck turns that had started, I realized this morning, as far back as early 2011 – coincidentally, not long after my Tokyo trip with my buddy Ivon. I had been reluctant to go with him at the time, not because he’s bad company mind you, but because he suffered from notoriously terrible travel luck. Every time he went away somewhere, some THING happened: earthquakes, accidents, tooth abscesses. Ultimately, I decided to throw caution to the wind, figuring his travel luck was no one’s business but his own – and our arrival at Narita airpot seemed to bare that out when we were informed HIS luggage hadn’t made the flight. Beside the inconvenience of having to wear the same outfit two days in a row, however, Ivon experienced no further mishaps on the trip – so I assumed he’d exorcised his travel demons. In retrospect, I think they merely transferred over to me.
Think about it. 2011. I end up accepting a job in Toronto and suffering through a The Year from Hell. And then it was downhill from there in a series of trips, stumbles, and faceplants that, while incredibly frustrating, have certainly made for interesting blog material.
Take today for instance. Ivon texted to suggest a taco lunch. Great! The guy had come by this morning to fix the gaping hole in my ceiling so my day was otherwise free and clear. We agreed on a time and I was about to get ready when Akemi informed me someone was coming to install the new oven between 11:00 and 1:00. Damnit! I’d completely forgotten. So much for lunch. I texted Ivon back to inform him I was out, then redirected my focus to other matters: fantasy football, my latest script, the suspicious guy skulking about in my backyard. Close to noon, I receive a call from the oven installer informing me that he won’t be able to make it and will have to push his visit to somewhere between 3:00 – 4:00. I grab my phone and immediately text Ivon back, hoping to catch him in time. His response:
I mean, COME ON!!! If that oven guy had called me twenty minutes earlier, those could have been my sunglasses and car keys sitting beside MY tacos!
Clearly, I have to find a way to foist this bad mojo onto someone else by way of spell, Federal Express, or other means of transferrence. I can think of at least ten possible worthy candidates.
Any takers?
Surely you can put that bad mojo in a containment field and pitch it into your nearest Stargate.
No thanks, have my very own right here. 🙂
Dude…DUDE!!! Hows come ye didnae take a snap of Harley D to post on this here blog o’ yers? I mean…by his very description the guy sounds right up MY alley. 😉
I just finished up grilled Mexican street corn (complete with mayo, chipotle chili powder, lime juice, and cotija cheese). It was yum! 😀 Also, burgers, baked beans, and grilled zukes! All was delish! And now…I’m taking a ‘nap’ – which means I’m going to bed early, only to awake in about two hours and not be able to get back to sleep until 2 am. 😛 It’s really not too bad – it gives me a chance to get caught up on some chores and some reading. Sometimes I function better with little bursts of sleep instead of 7-8 hours at a pop. Sometimes. 😛
das
What a strange situation Joe, surely the man should of knocked on your front door first to introduce himself and what he was there for?
Sorry, Joe. If it wasn’t for bad Iuck I’d have no luck at all. Think I’ll pass on your’s.
Elminster
I have enough of my own bad mojo, but maybe if each of us blog regulars took over one tiny bit, it wouldn’t be so bad.
Perhaps you are cursed? http://www.net-psychics.com/cursed.htm
Or chant this to remove bad karma: http://youtu.be/z0_z7umKiQA
Another way to remove bad karma: http://youtu.be/FwbNBjb70Nw
Flipping your karma (wonder if this is like flipping a house): http://zenhabits.net/flip-your-karma-8-tricks-to-turn-the-bad-into-the-awesome/
Sad thing happened at a local high school about 4 miles from me today. There was a stabbing, well multiple stabbings. One child died, three others are in varying degrees of health. http://www.myfoxhouston.com/story/23342476/2013/09/04/gang-violence-possibility-within-spring-high-school Today I am very grateful that Patrick is not in a public school anymore. But my heart aches for those families and those children hurt and those children and adults will have to deal with the emotional fall-out of having this happen at their school.
I have a couple nominees. There’s poetic justice to it. They have good luck (access to charity funds). This good luck is proof of God’s favor so they are immune to criticism for how much they spend on themselves. If they have your bad luck, that would be proof they aren’t in God’s favor anymore and they’d have to spend a bigger proportion of the money on the orphans, right? So your bad luck could do some good in the world.
I know you probably don’t believe in this kind of stuff, but remember you said how you hold on to grudges? I think it’s possible that if you clear out those feelings by either forgiving or reconciling, the dark cloud you feel is following you around might well blow away.
I’m not too good at forgiving myself, but that’s what I’ve heard people say gave them a new outlook on life.
MMmmm. Tacos.
Also, I’m dealing with quite enough trouble, but thanks anyway!
@Joe:
Well, I just found out today that our roof is probably damaged. What I had first thought was a window leak due to gummed up weather-striping, has now been traced inside the wall and is likely a roof leak that was caused by damage due to a hailstorm a couple of months ago. Looks like I need to call the insurance company tomorrow and schedule an inspection.
And judging from Das’s termites and my roof damage, you may be transferring your bad luck onto your regular blog readers. I’ll keep my eye out for exercise equipment or major appliance failures, just i case 😉
I really have enough bad luck of my own, but thanks for the offer. 🙂
all this bad luck, joe, is because you’re not following your true life’s purpose, which is making STARGATE!
once you accept your life’s real mission, all good and wonderful luck will come your way! 🙂
i only suggest this because of my extreme worry and care about your personal happiness and safety… it has nothing, i say nothing, about wanting more stargate. yep! 😉
😆
I asked for Strength…
And God gave me Difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for Wisdom…
And God gave me Problems to solve.
I asked for Prosperity…
And God gave me Brain and Brawn to work.
I asked for Courage…
And God gave me Danger to overcome.
I asked for Love…
And God gave me Troubled people to help.
I asked for Favors…
And God gave me Opportunities.
I received nothing I wanted…
I received everything I needed.
Trust in God
Okays, here is what yah do bay, ‘cordin’ to this here whammy killin’ thing – Meditate for half an hour by sitting in the center of your house – Make a mixture of sea salt and water, then sprinkle it around your house in areas that you think might be inhabited by bad energy. If you need more intense positive energy, you can wipe down the walls and mop the floor with the salt and water mixture. Open your windows so the negative energy can leave the house. Smudge the house – that means light incense (use Sandalwood, Sage or Myrrh) and sweep it with your hand around the house.Use objects with good vibrations to shake around your house – a bouquet of flowers is ideal. If you have any talismans, use them as well. Those would be things like four leaf clovers, amulets, that kind of thing. Shout loudly, “Out! Leave this place!” Then, meditate again for 1/2 an hour. That should clear your house of the negative energy.
I’ve never done it, but I’ve heard from others that it works. Good luck.
Ponytail wrote:
That’s D…as in Danger. 😉
das
“Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” -Joshua J Marine
“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned
about life: it goes on.” -Robert Frost
“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.” -George Washington Carver
“Our life always expresses the result of our dominant
thoughts.” -Soren Kierkegaard
So Joe, think positive!
Bah! You’re all a bunch of Debbie Downers today!
There’s no such thing as luck or mojo or karma. Shit happens. It’s how you deal with that shit that determines the outcome.
Joe, a while ago you asked what Sci-Fi novel etc we would like to se as a tv-series or something like that, I have another proposal, StarCraft. I don’t know if you know what it is, so I take it in short. It is a RTS pc game that is one of the most popular esports game there is, and have been for over 10 years. The biggest leagues are brodcasted on national TV in south Korea, and sometimes here in Sweden where I are. Here you can read about the Lore of the 3 races http://kotaku.com/5591671/learn-the-starcraft-storyline-in-a-hurry, Terran (Humans), Zerg (bugs) and Protoss (Robots/spirituals) If you want to know more about the esport scene, look at teamliquid.net.
I don’t need your bad mojo .. I have my own.
However, thought this was way kewl… Stargate Universe-ish
“Biologists spent ten years trying to map the structure of the elusive Mason Pfizer Monkey Virus, a problem that could unlock the cure for AIDS. The Contenders solved it in three weeks. Using the online puzzle game Fold It, scientists are enlisting video gamers to solve real- world problems.”
I’d love to help you out with the mojo, but no thanks. I’ve had my own wobbly pendulum stream towards the darkside and am almost holding my breath for the current peace in my life to continue. But I think of you often and am sending you cyber encouragement.
BTW I’m reading that David Hewlett and family have just moved from Santa Monica to Toronto. I hope that something good is in the works for him. He really should be on screen somewhere doing new and great things.
@ Ponytail – The little sayings are nice and all, but what Joey really needs is to see a pair of great tits…
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v54/dasNdanger/GreatTits_zps938b2b1b.jpg
I betcha he’s feeling better already! 😀
das
@ PBMom – Heard about the stabbing, didn’t know it was so close to you! Very sad, especially if the kid was just an innocent bystander. Gang violence – as it appears to be – should be one of the main concerns in this country, but it’s not. And I don’t know what I would do if I had kids! Public school, private, school, or home school – it’s such a tough decision.
@ Joey – I just wanted to assure you that I did not send my Joey Voodoo Dolly to your ex. Or to Ashleigh. Or Carl. It’s right here, tucked safely away in this box… *opens lid* …ACK!! Moths!! Mildew!! DRY ROT!!
Whoopsies, Joe. I shoulda been taking better care of you… 🙁
das
@Das Loved the picture of the tits. Patrick’s autism school is blessed in that one of the children who attends is the son of someone in a high-level position for global security for Anadarko. He and his wife were both in the army in England. I think he was special forces. The last school year he went into the school and told them how to increase their security measures as the school is in a shopping center area. Nothing better than having someone who does that on an international scale coming in to protect our kiddos. I have a friend who was teaching at Spring High School last year (English). I was very glad she had another job on that day in particular. Spring High School, even though 4 miles away, would not have been the place Patrick would have gone to school though. He was in another high school’s feeder zone even though it is further away. Our mailing address comes up as both Spring and The Woodlands (mail addressed as either will still get to me). The Woodlands is in the process of becoming an official town. I’m technically in The Woodlands.
Das: I’ve been told that Voo-doo dolls are not effective without Chicken Blood and out of the state of Louisiana. Just FYI. 😉
Also, I’ve been told that sky lights always leak. It’s just a matter of when, not if. So just be aware that if you have a sky light, it WILL need repairs.
I think you are a very lucky man Mr. M,/b>! You have a lovely home (after repairs), three sweet dogs, tons of friends, a career you “sometimes” love and a beautiful lady that cooks. Count your blessings dude!
Now that all your bad luck is getting resolved, I wonder if that means your Japan trip is going to be fantastic? Let’s hope so! Do you have restaurants picked out yet? Are you going molecular or sticking to traditional Japanese foods?
<gforce: How is your step mom?
Oopsie 😳
Oh, Joe-cito… 😐
(to borrow Deni’s nickname for you)
I think Bailey, Ponytail, and Line Noise are right. (LN, you so made me laugh. *Hugs LN*) My gut response was a mix of those, and I thought about posting 1 of 2 video responses.
To quote a wise Stevie Wonder, in his 70s hit song, “When people believe in things they don’t understand, they suffer. Superstition ain’t the way!”
So yeah, stuff happens. It sucks. But don’t give anyone or thing the power to rule your life, except for yourself and God. And even we aren’t that reliable.
Sometimes things happen because we screw up. Immediately apologize, put it back, make right what is wrong, or do all three. It’s the quickest way for self-caused suffering to end.
The other song that popped into my head was “Move Along” by the American Rejects. It’s positive, got great guitar, and encourages you not to stay stuck in the same place. My fave version is a video posted on Katie Foster’s exercise blog, “Runs for Cookies.” (How can you not like that name?) 🙂 She decided she was tired of being tired, and proceeded to lose half her weight by running. Every obstacle in her way she kicked in the *ahem.* She answered the obstacles by running, no matter what. “When everything is wrong, we move along.” In the process, she got her life back. Now she runs marathons. 😀
So Joe, just make up your mind. You and Paul throw down the best script you’ve ever written, crowd fund it, Stargate fans will top the goal, it will be a huge success, and the rights will be all yours. You won’t care if you have to buy a stinkin’ appliance every year. That is the power of “Move Along.” Sing it, Mister! 😀
@Peter Stahl – Mixing strategy games and stories is a tough nut to crack.
Arghh just spotted this… http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/movies/news/a513056/stargate-to-receive-movie-reboot-trilogy-planned.html
The Stargate franchise was brilliant as it was and should be continued, not rebooted!
@ das – You and your tits… 🙂
@Pete:
Interesting…the comments were running about 10:1 in favor of continuing the TV series and not doing a reboot. But it looks like the reboot is well into the planning stages, so time will tell.
tv franchise stargate, not Emmerich’s reboot!!
we need a brad wright and jonathan glassner partnership again!!
(((tv franchise)))
@Joe:
I see Torrey Smith gave your Snow Monkeys a couple of receptions in the first half tonight.
But a rain delay? Seriously? When did the NFL turn into the MLB? Or Tennis?
Blech on the Emmerich movies! I want to see that SGA movie! The SG1 one too, while you’re at it. Sheesh!