Hunh.  With all due respect to the doomsday sayers, this apocalypse has been vastly overrated.  I don’t mean to complain but I put off my Christmas shopping figuring there would be no real point given the coming global catastrophe.  And now here I find myself, still in one piece, but with a “to buy” list as long as line-ups outside the public bathrooms in Bugarach right about now.  The tiny French town was expecting some 20 000 idiots apocaloptomists to flock to a local mountain where aliens are rumored to be living.  The thinking, apparently, is that said aliens may have extra room on their space ships and might be amenable to offering lifts outside the Alpha Centauri cosmic limits when it all goes to hell.

Well, there’s still time to expect the worst – roughly three hours by my clock – so let’s take a moment and reflect back on our lives.  Any regrets?  None?  Liar!!!  If I had a time machine, I would certainly go back and offer my past self some sound advice:

1971: Take that entire box of comic books, put it in the garage, and forget about it for the next forty years.

1972: Never mind what mom says.  The long hair ain’t cute.

1974: You and Christian Summer Camp.  NOT a good mix.  (P.S. As much as you love them and think it’s a terrific idea, DON’T order five ice cream sandwiches at tuck).

1975: Steer clear of that trampoline!

1978: What did I say about the hair?

1979: Your parents are wrong.  Time spent on Dungeons and Dragons will pay off A LOT more than time wasted on any math or Canadian history class.

1982: Buy extra coca cola to go with that white rum.

1984: Savor this Raiders Super Bowl victory.  The next one will be a long time coming.

1985: Attend you East Asian History class on a more regular basis. Notice your classmates sooner.  Yes, that one.

1987: Don’t bother with that road trip to Quebec City.

1989: Seriously.  She talks to her teddy bears.  AND has them answer back. Get out now!!!

1995: Spend more time with Kennedy from sales.

1997: Take the year off to travel.

1998: In the unlikely event you didn’t follow the aforementioned advice, take it now.

1999: Don’t do it!

2008: Push the agenda sooner.  Get that movie in the can early because…you never know.

2009: Don’t put off until four years from now what you can do today.

2011: Take the year off.  Relax.  Travel.  Maybe freelance from home. If nothing else, be less accommodating.

That’s it off the top of my head.  I’m sure more will come to mind.  Luckily for everyone, I hear that, depending on the translation of the Mayan texts, doomsday was actually today – or Sunday the 23rd.

Yes, of course!  That’s what everyone meant.

Apocalypse later then.


25 thoughts on “December 21, 2012: Apocalypse Now! Or a little earlier or a little later depending on your time zone!

  1. Well I believe I am glad we are still here. What a big build up, but we humans do this kind of thing alot. Hurry up and wait. I think about things and if I should have done this or that and breathe a sigh of relief that things are pretty much ok, and thanks the stars or gods or tooth fairy or whatever is working. One day at a time is good, one foot in front of the other,(be careful Akemi) and when I wake tomorrow we will see what else I can get into. Have a wonderful day!

  2. @Joe:

    Luckily for everyone, I hear that, depending on the translation of the Mayan texts, doomsday was actually today – or Sunday the 23rd.

    The 23rd now?!? Great, now I’ll need to watch “2012” again on Sunday…it’s becoming a family tradition on the apocalypse.

    Oh well, I count at least 3 Stargate actors in the film, so now we’re cheering whenever we see one of them.

  3. Don’t worry. The apocalyptic glow on the 23rd, originating from Central Texas, will be from my 56 birthday candles, not any Mayan conflagration. I plan to hang around long enough to give Joe Hell when he hits 65.

  4. Worry not. The only flames I expect to see on Sunday are my 56 birthday candles.


  5. I’ve been shovelling through SLUSH-ageddon ALL DAY!! ..There’s suppose to be an Apocalypse? Seriously? Right “now”?? — huh. Must’ve missed THAT Meeting. Not that it matters really, as I still can’t get the car out. Seems that EVIL-SNOWPLOW-GUY dropped “THE WALL” set from GAME OF THRONES at the end of my laneway last night! — hmm…you know, actually, a bit of Fire&Brimstone could be rather useful in Melting and Evaporating some of that crap… Hey! Anybody needing something to practice their Flame-Throwing skills on? I’ll spring for the marshmellows! 😀

  6. Nevermind eh

    Anyone with common sense knew this Mayan stuff was nonsense anyway, there was no way a planet like Nibiru could exist in the way the crazy people thought it would, and there’s no way a planet can magically appear from thin air and smash into the Earth in a split second action either on the 21st, we would of saw it coming a long time ago lol

    Won’t be long before the crazys are saying, Oh god we got it wrong, the world ends on December 21st 2013, OMG etc blah blah

  7. Anyway personally I think the Earth will still be here in billions of years time, granted as the Sun gets older, it gets brighter and warmer, but you can easily counteract that by adjusting the Earths orbit and moving it away from the Sun, by that point the technology will be available for humans to start moving the various planets around for when the Sun reaches its red giant phase.

    I just believe the Earth will pretty much be here for pretty much forever.

  8. Merry Armageddon Joe, I’m typing this from my bunker. Just waiting for the first zombies to appear or comet to hit….I’ve got my Armageddon watch list all ready and I’ve cancelled the milk and papers . Have a good one guys:)

  9. for the love of Beckett: I read about the explosion arrests. Shocking! I remember watching the devastation on the news and I couldn’t believe more people weren’t killed. I can’t imagine having that kind of disregard for life.
    So sorry about your friends….{hugs}

    JeffW: Hubby and I love those apocalyptic films. Seeing the Stature of Liberty or the Eiffel tower destroyed (in film) is a hallmark moment for us. My son finds somewhere else go, he hates those flicks.

    Das: I forgot to thank you for the “bulls eye on the door picture”. Your hubby must have a good sense of humor. It made me smile.

    Mr. M.: Thanks for the laugh this morning. I especially loved 1989! You know, you’ve done alright with your life if that list is all you would change 😉 .

    It went from 70F (21C) on Monday down to 40F (4.4C) Thursday. The wind is gusty/cold and it just cuts right through whatever I’m wearing. I could NOT live up north again. My fingers blanch/go numb with any kind of temperature change. Raynaud’s sucks! On the bright side, Target had a sale on tech gloves.

  10. I cherish everday. Or…at least…I try to. 😀 I believe that everyday is a blessing from God, and everyday is precious. We shouldn’t take life for granted, and learn from every experience that comes our way…whether it is good or bad. We should be prepare for the Lord’s coming…because only He knows when that will be and we ought to be ready for when He does. 🙂

  11. Wot??? The 23rd???? Heck, I’ll be busy making stuffed calamari in preparation for Christmas Eve dinner. No time for the end of the world.

    Interesting comments, Joe. You know, I never really gave any thought to what I would tell my younger self.

    @das: I saw “salty” and “tart” and thought of you immediately.

  12. 1982: Buy extra coca cola to go with that white rum

    Really, Joe? I thought you were a couple of months younger than me! What were you doing with rum at that age?!?

  13. On the 21st Ashton Kutcher filed for divorce from Demi Moore. Maybe that is what the Mayans were referring to?

  14. My 58th birthday was on the 21st & I spent it applying for a licence to carry a handgun. Only time will tell if that was a good idea or not. I realized I don’t have to like something to agree with it. I know all the arguments but I also live alone with NO children, even visitors. My dog is too old to hear anybody @ the door & has basically stopped barking at anything. AND my closest neighbor is the one who burnt her nose with a cigarette. I own my home & see no reason to move. Sigh

  15. Now I kinda wish I’d gone to that French mountain. Would’ve been a change of pace at least.

  16. Just love the title of this day’s entry Joe.

    I work at a company with offshore sites. We were wondering while at work on Friday if we should send a message to the Philippines site, just to see if they were still there. The apocalypse would hit them first you see. Good sense prevailed and we waited to hear from them in the daily status report… which arrived on time.

    I agree, “Apocalypse later then.”


  17. Good commentary and title, Joe. 🙂 But only hints at stories behind the years/dates, instead of whole stories, tsk!That’s like a hint about a Christmas present. Who wants to wait for the other shoe to drop, to hear the rest of the story?

    Apocalypse Not — We’ve already read The Book. We know how it ends. 😀 There’s a lot to come yet.

    Bailey, I’m with you! 🙂

    Thanks, Tammy. It’s been rough, but prayers from fam & friends have made a world of difference. My heart goes out to everyone who has lost a friend or a loved one this year. This is your/our first Christmas without them. There’s something healing about music, and you can find it where you’d least expect.

    On the morning of a different loss, in spring time, I woke up hearing a Christmas hymn. It was strangely comforting.

    “Silent night, Holy night
    All is calm, all is bright
    Round yon virgin mother and child
    Holy infant so tender and mild
    Sleep in heavenly peace
    Sleep in heavenly peace”

  18. The 2012 Facebook app that told you how you were going to die had me dying in a swamp fire. Glad that did not happen. I don’t know exactly what advice I would give myself if I could go back because some heartache endured led to good things later on. Guess one thing for sure that would not have changed any outcomes would have been a decision to help someone got me very close to being killed. A horrifying experience. Never caught him. I suffer PTSD episodes in certain situations as a result.

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