In no particular order:
1. Receiving alarming news during dinner from someone who then leaves the office, ruining my meal and leaving me to stew all night over the particulars.
2. Presumably progressive laws that treat women like they’re in the 1950’s.
3. Competitive reality shows that offer previously eliminated contestants the opportunity to return to the competition.
4. Creative executives who insist on imagining the “worst possible” execution of any given idea.
5. Creative executives who only only want more of the same.
6. Most creative executives.
7. Really thin crust pizza that approximates the textures and flavor of eating ketchup on a saltine.
8. Drivers who race up the parking lane to cut in front.
9. Drivers who don’t honor merge etiquette.
10. Clueless drivers who don’t realize an inoperative traffic light is equivalent to a stop sign.
11. “What have you done for me lately?” attitudes.
12. Delusional individuals.
13. People who order their steaks medium.
14. People who pretend to really “dig” jazz.
15. People so desperate they’ll laugh at absolutely anything to endear themselves to painfully lame comedians.
16. People who invite you to dinner and then keep you waiting.
17. Waiting staff who show off their incredible mind skills by not writing down your order – and inevitably screwing up your order.
18. Individuals who try to take advantage of you assuming you’ll think it too much trouble to oppose them.
19. Those same individuals who seems surprised or upset when you oppose them.
20. Pathetic excuses for human beings who claim to LOVE dogs, and then end up giving theirs away.
21. Losers who consider themselves smart and fiercely independent who consult psychics, attend endless self-help seminars, and get suckered into pyramid scams selling everything from super juice to vitamin packs.
22. People who don’t take responsibility for their sorry, sorry lives.
23. Really great books with really shitty endings.
24. Sears Home Services who you hire to install new window blinds, forget to install two of them, and then don’t call you back for two days and counting after you leave a message at their call center.
25. People who die too young.
26. People who don’t die soon enough.
27. Vitamin water.
28. Salesmen eager to sign you up to a “new contract” who seem genuinely puzzled when you request more information on the penalty incurred for breaking said contract.
29. The Vancouver real estate market.
30. Characters in film/television/books/comic books who constantly refer to each other by name.
31. The officiating in the NBA.
32. The NBA in general.
33. Biting the inside of my cheek.
34. Cell phone plan providers.
35. Junk.
36. Liars.
37. Hypocrites.
38. Deceivers.
39. Lazy parasites.
40. Suicidal nutjobs who decide to bring innocent people with them.
41. Any competitive reality show episode that DOESN’T end with someone being eliminated.
42. People who who insist they can’t taste the chlorine in tap water.
43. Parents who let their kids run wild.
44. Kids who run wild.
45. People who don’t clean up after their dogs.
46. Bouncing a two and a half pound metal bar off my face.
47. Not being able to sleep.
48. Thieves
49. Ungrateful ingrates.
50. Home or office pools that reward second place finishes.
51. Or worse! Third place finishes!
52. Clutter.
53. When someone promises to get back to you but never does.
54. And then contacts you later asking for a favor.
55. When the sexy chef is eliminated from that cooking competition.
56. Flat just-opened Perrier.
57. People on flights who take any seats, assuming that the people actually assigned to said seats won’t kick up a fuss.
58. Fair weather friends.
59. Cheap Q-tips that go all bendy and shit.
60. Filtered bottled water.
61. Banging my elbow.
62. Stubbing my toe.
63. Not being able to find something I just saw the other day.
64. My home theater system.
65. Individuals who claim they love original ideas, but really just want more of the same.
66. Individuals who can’t be bothered to fix bad writing.
67. DVR screw-ups.
68. Uncomfortable hotel beds and/or pillows.
69. Crappy customer service.
70. Crappy customers.
71. People who smile way too much.
72. People you barely know revealing way too much about themselves.
73. People who act A LOT more important than they really are.
74. People who charge into traffic in a panicked life-or-death rush to catch a bus.
75. Almost every superhero movie made prior to 1999.
76. Nickel-and-dimers who fancy themselves high rollers.
77. Paying for wifi at upscale hotels.
78. Waiting.
79. Adding pickled rhubarb to anything.
80. Bookstore staff recommendations.
81. Forgetting poopie bags when I take the dogs out.
82. Driving around looking for parking.
83. Resident Only parking.
84. Dog-killing Belfast City Council.
85. Vancouver’s narrow parking spots.
86. Those seemingly endless battle arcs in Gintama.
87. Accounting.
88. Taxes.
89. Wire coat hangers.
90. This douchebag: Owner of dog found in Kitsilano dumpster arrested on unrelated charge
91. Moving.
92. Blu-ray.
93. Worsening vision.
94. Undercooked brussel sprouts.
95. Remakes.
96. Dropping my cell phone.
97. Trying to deal with any sort of computer issue.
98. Being served a moscow mule NOT in a copper mug.
99. The bullshit many of my friends are going through.
100. The Real Housewives of Vancouver
Just off the top of my head. Feel free to add to the list.
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