Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog

November 1, 2011: My post-Halloween report! And an old SGA behind the scenes clip I discovered behind the radiator!

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Last night’s Halloween action shattered the previous year’s record of FOUR tricker treaters with an astounding FIVE costumed kiddies paying us a visit! We had the lights on, giant plastic pumpkin out front, and modestly creepy decorations in view. Don’t know what more I could have done. Akemi suggested I probably discouraged a few children by hiding under the porch steps and slashing at their little legs with an exacto knife, but I argue that being frightened is what it’s all about. Certainly, a dangling rubber spider or front yard scarecrow aint gonna get the job done anymore. Kids are more sophisticated nowadays!

What about you guys?  Do anything special to terrify/annoy the tykes? Hand out fresh vegetables?  Toothbrushes?  Demand a trick before a treat and then immediately insist they take song requests starting with something from the Andrew Sisters?  For my part, I was going to give out ice cream, dropping a scoop in each bag with the advisement to “Hurry up and get home and eat it before it melts!” but, again, Akemi intervened.

🙁

Hey, check this clip out from the old days on Stargate: Atlantis, and a little episode called Tracker…

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40 responses

  1. Lou Zucaro Avatar
    Lou Zucaro

    Hey Joe. You know, we all come on here and read your posts and try to leave relevant and / or witty comments to add to the discussion, but not this time. I’m popping on just to say that this was a funny post and it made me laugh, thanks.

    Reply
  2. dasndanger Avatar
    dasndanger

    @ BoltBait – left you a message under yesterday’s entry. 🙂

    das

    Reply
  3. StellaByStargate Avatar
    StellaByStargate

    One year I rigged a set-up so that kids had to lift a cover off a platter to get their candy–leaving a note apologizing for not being home and telling them to help themselves. However, instead of finding candy beneath the silver dome they found my head….

    In retrospect, I was probably lucky not to get the therapy bills from their parents….

    Reply
  4. dasndanger Avatar
    dasndanger

    Awwww! That video brings back such fond memories! I do miss Atlantis a lot…but I have 4 or 5 episodes from S4 (first half of the season) that I haven’t watched. I’ve been saving them for special (I tend to do that…), and haven’t been in a rush because they’re Wraith-free episodes. Also haven’t watched them because my DVD player is shot, and I’ve been too lazy to buy another. I really need to stop procrastinating… 😛

    das

    Reply
  5. Ponytail Avatar
    Ponytail

    Oh how cute!!! Love the video of Jason and David. They looked like they were having fun. They looked like drunks trying to get up off the ground. Jason seemed to be enjoying shoving David’s face into the dirt. Got more clips of Atlantis? 🙂 I could watch this one again and again and again and…

    One Halloween I handed out little packages of peanut butter or cheese crackers. They were not too amused about that, the little brats. Whats wrong with crackers??

    Reply
  6. DP Avatar
    DP

    The kids and I made a giant Frankenstein head out of a picnic table and various stuff around the house – it looks more silly than scary. We cut the Jack-o-lantern into the face of a creeper from Minecraft.

    I think my daughter was discriminated against for being carried by her mom since she got about half the candy her brother did. Positive intent spin: maybe they could tell a girl who was too ill to walk couldn’t eat it anyway. :/ I’ll give her gut a few more days to heal and then give her some. I bought toys to distract her until then.

    My husband and bumble bee/toddler stayed behind to hand out candy. Next year, they can come along and we’ll save the money we’d otherwise spend on candy. We spent way too much.

    Reply
  7. Bailey Avatar
    Bailey

    Cool BTS vid!

    “As soon as the log’s ready give us a call”

    Reply
  8. jojo Avatar
    jojo

    What a good neighbor you are to provide the kids such a fun and scary experience. I bet they can’t go just anywhere to get a knife swiped at their legs by the crazy man undert he stairs. I am sorry that Akeimi ruined the fun. that could have been a great story those kids could tell for years.

    me, I take the coward’s way and just hide in the house and hope nobody rings the doorbell. I used to put a bowl of candy on the porch, but when i found dogs at it digging in, I thought it wasn’t a good idea anymore. I did go out to eat with fellow adults and no children in sight. a quiet dining experience!

    Reply
  9. fsmn36 Avatar
    fsmn36

    I live in a decent family apartment complex and for two years haven’t gotten a single trick-or-treater. I think in part it’s because so many malls and such do things for kids now. I know our university basketball stadium hosts a massive event. Although, if I was a parent, I think I’d rather traverse neighborhoods than Bank of America and the Knights of Columbus booths in a gym. 😛

    Reply
  10. PBMom Avatar
    PBMom

    Gosh, I think I just miss 1-2 days of the blog and then I realize it’s been 5. Enjoyed all the posts.

    Yeah, I agree with Ponytail–Jason appeared to like putting David’s face in the dirt wayyyyyy too much. Have you seen Game of Thrones yet?

    Loved the doggy pictures.

    I hope my East Coast friends are doing okay; heard from wraithfodder on Twitter that she is still without power. Yuck! Stay warm & safe everyone if you can, and if you can’t, go some place you can.

    Halloween was disappointing. We only had 25 kids versus 60-70 from last year, but I have to remember it’s back to being on a school night. Next year I will adjust my numbers. I posted on my FB page that I felt like the CDC with their flu shot–Always basing it on last year’s numbers, missing the mark, and now having huge quantities of product I need to pawn off on people.

    I join the ranks of people going to see the dentist (tomorrow), but this is for an overdue tiny cavity (on both sides). I don’t know if she is going to do one or both sides. I hope everyone who has been having really bad teeth issues are feeling a little bit better.

    Going to Wizard World in Austin on Sunday Nov 13. Julia Benson will definitely be there; Alaina I guess is going to depend on her baby delivery. That is the day they have their Q&A panel and I can only go one day. Hopefully will meet up with Gilder there. Anybody else going who I might meet up and say hi??

    Then next big day for is Nov 22. I’ll find out if they want to do a kidney biopsy. My rheumatologist has already agreed with it if certain tests come back positive so that is my 2nd opinion. I’m at100% coverage on insurance so if they want to do it they need to do it before Dec 31. After that, I turn into an insurance pumpkin and I’m not going to be doing anything major because of that stupid hospital bill I got. I’m foreclosing on my body. Done with pain and surgeries. My resolution for 2012: No hospital visits. My stupid scar on my arm is turning into a keloid. Stupid, stupid body. Wonder if I can squeeze in plastic surgery on my arm before the end of the year? I’m doing everything to try to stop it–vitamin E oil, silicone scar treatment pads, compression, heat. Aggravating.

    And something is going on with Patrick. Have to try to figure that out as well. His self-injurious behaviors have increased. Still making fantastic progress outside of these complete meltdown episodes both at school and home. It’s always a puzzle. Stupid, stupid autism.

    @Das: Sorry to hear about your kitties. Hugs to you.

    Reply
  11. BoltBait Avatar
    BoltBait

    @dasndanger, that’s more for Joe than me. 😉

    Reply
  12. JeffW Avatar
    JeffW

    A few years ago I decided to scare a couple of teenagers that had come by the house several times, changing their hats and other bits of clothing, trying to scam more candy out of us.

    So when I looked through the window and saw them walking by, I ran and put on a grotesque rubber mask and waited by the door. When the doorbell rang, I ripped open the door screaming at the top of my lungs and then stopped in puzzlement…no one was there!

    Then I looked down and saw at my feet a wide-eyed 4-year old with a frozen faced, heart-stopped, look of terror stretched across his face…and at the end of the walk, his open-mouthed mother who just stared at me in disbelief.

    The awkward silence lasted a few heartbeats, and then he turned and ran screaming to his mother.

    I ended up giving him all the candy we had while he kept crying and I kept apologizing repeatedly. I never saw them again in the neighborhood after that.

    Now I just hand out the candy and smile…beats getting sued.

    Reply
    1. PBMom Avatar
      PBMom

      @JeffW Funny story. Poor little pumpkin. Scarred him for life. He’ll need therapy for that.

      Reply
  13. JeffW Avatar
    JeffW

    Oh and I still get trick or treaters, so Joe, I don’t think your Xacto knife waving under the deck would be the cause for your low attendance. Maybe leave an unattended bowl out? I did that one year and we had tons of trick or treaters the next year…word gets out.

    Then again, that was a Friday, so maybe the weekend had more to do with it…;-)

    Reply
  14. Anonymous Avatar
    Anonymous

    LOL @ David Hewlett asking the post-production people to cut some fat off him haha

    He’s a real life Rodney McKay lol

    Reply
  15. Gilder Avatar
    Gilder

    We seldom do anything special for Halloween, but I might attend a Día de los Muertos event Wed. night.

    Reply
  16. Kriss Harmsworth (@Dankriss2011) Avatar
    Kriss Harmsworth (@Dankriss2011)

    Great vid! love seeing how things are done….

    Kriss 🙂

    Reply
  17. Maryanne - Chev - (@imwebgurl) Avatar
    Maryanne – Chev – (@imwebgurl)

    Well I wasn’t home for Halloween, I went to a library Halloween party where the entertainment was Ron the Clown. He wasn’t particularly scary but he was funny. A few kids wandered in late and he got them settled and said to them that he had a present for their parents after the show, it’s called a watch – bravo!! Another kid he got to help hit him so he just told him he could take a seat & got another kid to help. Lots of kids dressed as witches but the cutest one was a little girl dressed as a crocodile. They had scary food and all the kids got a gift bag…a very nice night.

    I guess seeing as though I wasn’t home I should be glad my place wasn’t egged.

    Cheers, Chev

    Reply
  18. Gforce Avatar
    Gforce

    Joe, once again I like your style. I’m totally trying the exactly knife thing next year. In reality though, I had to go out this Hallowe’en so I missed them all. Not that it’s a big deal – I don’t really like the occasion. Even when I was a kid I hated it – I considered it begging.

    Also it would seem the Mallozzi household is just as magical and whimsical a place as I imagined it to be, where BTS Atlantis videos are found behind the radiators. As opposed to the dust bunnies and desiccated spiders I usually clean out of mine!

    Reply
  19. Nola Shingledecker Avatar
    Nola Shingledecker

    I only had about 20 trick or treaters. Fortunately, it was a similar amount as last year so I had planned the candy stock fairly well. Still too much, but I gave everyone quite a bit each. Last trickster of the evening was my little granddaughter – her parents brought her by to see grammie, which was a nice surprise. Only found one “kid” to be a bit irritating. Must have been 17-18 years old, no costume, probably just walking little brothers/sisters, but when she saw the chocolate I was giving out she just held out her hands for some – not even a bag!

    Reply
  20. maggiemayday Avatar
    maggiemayday

    Some warm Halloweens, I’ll dig out my full length veils I wore in Saudi, put on black gloves and sit very still next to the candy bowl, at just enough of an awkward angle that I look stuffed. Then grab at the hands taking too much candy… hehe. When the little ones come by, I move the veil aside and just look like an old lady in a black shroud.

    I had one tiny devil climb up on my porch, you can tell he learned to walk last month, but he was going to get up to my door by himself!!! He managed the three steps, then plpped on his butt. No “Trick or Treat”, I don’t think he could even talk yet. Too stinkin’ cute.

    The knife thing isn’t funny this year here. A gal down in West Valley City opened the door to hand out more candy, there was a tall person all in black in a Scream mask. They whipped out a big kitchen knife and slashed her across the hand and cheek. Crazy. 17 stitches down her face, she’s only 19 years old!
    http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/52826305-78/woman-powell-knife-mask.html.csp

    Reply
  21. Sue Jackson Avatar
    Sue Jackson

    Thank you for that BTS video of Tracker with Jason and David. 🙂 You guys always look like you have so much fun on set. I bet you miss it, Joe. 😉 I’ve been rewatching SGA, and it was such a great show. 🙂

    Reply
  22. Airelle Avatar
    Airelle

    Oh we don’t get trick or treaters here, so all the candy I buy is what we like, haha, problem solved, no one scared. hmm wonder if thats why my diets don’t work…

    Reply
  23. Kat J. Avatar
    Kat J.

    We have been lucky since we moved into our house almost six years ago (so five Halloweens) and we’ve managed a whopping dozen or two kids! Having spent the first half of our marriage getting dozens and dozens of kids we’ve always over bought on the candy front. The other night? We got rid of all the candy around the house nobody wanted, the gigantic bag of suckers (250) we didn’t expect to even have to open, another giant bag of assorted candy and half of another assorted bag of M&Ms! Granted my son is in charge of handing out candy, a self-appointed position that’s gotten us out of trick-or-treating his entire life (he was born shortly after we moved here), and was giving out handfuls most of the time, but that’s like, five suckers, max.

    We mostly had teenagers, though. The few little kids we saw brought their parents who held out bags, too. We’re talking groups with between two and five grownups per kid. They had excuses like a sick kid at home. Really?! I was sick a lot on holidays growing up and if we were sick, we just missed out and were left with the leftover candy or the rejects from the siblings’ bags. Of course they also got extra years and I was sick the last year we were allowed to go (elementary was the end of it at our house).

    You’re making me wish I had better internet (I’m still using dial-up!) so I could actually watch all these videos! Why did we move to the middle of nowhere and put ourselves hours from the closest library?!

    Reply
  24. dasndanger Avatar
    dasndanger

    @ JewffW – AWWWW! 😆 Cute, and funny, at the same time! I wonder if that kid ever went trick-or-treating again. 🙂

    das

    Reply
  25. Tam Dixon Avatar
    Tam Dixon

    Mr. M.: that was pretty funny! I could picture you underneath the porch. Yes, I did hear of someone handing out toothbrushes this year. I follow one the news personalities on a morning radio show and she posted this: http://twitter.com/#!/tonyajpowers/status/131189281124388864/photo/1

    JeffW: definitely one of the top Halloween stories!

    Ponytail: Where do you live? I can’t guarantee that they will be “huggy beans” for you. Especially, if you live in the North. We Southerners take our fat content to heart. Studies show Mississippi is the fattest state in the United States. I can believe that after going to a local food bar!!!!!

    PBmom: I hope Patrick feels better soon. It’s always difficult watching our kids go through crap. Good luck with herbal remedies! A keloid huh? Is that something you’ve gotten before?

    Reply
    1. PBMom Avatar
      PBMom

      @Tam Dixon Yes, I had a keloid on the helical part of my ear after a previous doctor incised a lesion that was there. I wound up having to go to a plastic surgeon and have ear reconstruction. He did a terrific job; hardly anyone can tell I had it done until they see all the scarring behind my ear which hurt for many years, but has since subsided.

      Reply
  26. Stryse (@Stryse) Avatar
    Stryse (@Stryse)

    The only true measure of your halloween success is children too scared to come to your door. Sounds like you nailed it, what with only five trick-or-treaters. I, on the otherhand, had to raid my personal stash to avoid running out of candy (I started with 21 pounds of it…)

    Reply
  27. DP Avatar
    DP

    @JeffW – Something like that, but intentional and creepier, is why my parents easily went along with not doing Halloween until I was in middle school. They were in a very rural community once I came along so it wasn’t much of a loss to me. Some “headless horseman” told my oldest sister he needed a new head and was coming for hers. She was 3.

    Reply
  28. Shiny Avatar
    Shiny

    Love it! Looks like it was so much fun, and it’s one of my fave eps. Diving into mud isn’t my idea of a good time, I’m glad the actors were always game to get dirty to give us rousing action scenes.

    David and Jason are hilarious, they always had the best little moments, especially their sparring over Dr. Keller.

    You had 5 more trick o treaters than I did, unless you call irate bums or disoriented meth addicts; my neighborhood is under reverse gentrification.

    Reply
  29. SiSi Avatar
    SiSi

    Never have many trick-or-treaters at my house, but usually I go to a friend’s house for Halloween. They live in a small town that really does Halloween well. Nearly everyone, young and old, gets dressed up –often in some really clever and well-done homemade costumes–and goes out. This Halloween was a little slow, only about 250-300 kids! But it’s a lot of fun, and the whole thing is over at 6:00, when we get to focus on eating and drinking ourselves! Always a great night.

    Reply
  30. Ponytail Avatar
    Ponytail

    @ Tam Dixon – I’m just across the way from you in the great state of Texas! We are known for our BBQ, beans, and tater salad. I love cooking a big pot of either pinto beans (with sausage links and lots of onion) or great northern beans (with salt pork). I asked my mom once to pick me up a big chunk of salt port because I was having trouble finding it in my grocery store. She said a black lady was standing beside her when she got it and said, “oh I knows you all are good folk cause you’re buying salt pork!” 😆 It sure is good in my great northern beans. I like your recipe because of all the different kind of beans. And it does look easy. Thanks for it. I’ll let you know when I make it.

    Reply
  31. cwillmanbunge Avatar
    cwillmanbunge

    Loved the video man. Felt like what me and my buddies did last year when we went hiking in the woods, except instead of a small hill and a few trees with cameramen and stuff it was a steep hill on a path with lots of trees and a built swing hanging from a branch. Lots of fun.

    Any word as to whether the rumors are true and a new Stargate movie or series might be in the baby stages of development? Just curious on that.

    Love the dogs too man. Got a couple miniature poodles at home where my mom takes care of them while I am attending Penn State. They’re loads of fun aren’t they?

    Reply
  32. JeffW Avatar
    JeffW

    @PBMom:

    I’m sure therapy was involved; but the question is son, mom, or both? Its been a number of years and I haven’t received a bill yet.

    Hoping your dentist visit went well and similarly that your other medical tests go well.

    @Das:

    It’s doubtful he ever went Trick or Treating again; I never saw him in the neighborhood after that, but maybe he eased himself into it elsewhere…

    @Tam Dixon:

    Thanks. I still feel a pang of guilt on halloween, but I now use the experience to calm some of the wilder halloween Trick or Treat plans that my kids come up with.

    @DP:

    Sorry to hear about your sister; there are some real creeps out there. Stories such as yours are why we go with our kids on their rounds. At least my “episode” was unintentional.

    Reply
  33. iom666 (@iom666) Avatar
    iom666 (@iom666)

    You know, to be fair Harrison Ford IS Indiana Jones and David Hewlett IS Rodney McKay.
    What I am saying is that McKay is part of David Hewlett, he is barely playing, the character is part of his personality lol :)) And this is also why I love to follow his work and follow him on Twitter. McKay is always around the corner 🙂

    Reply
  34. Duptiang. Avatar
    Duptiang.

    Nothing exciting for me on Halloween but a job interview-talk about scary. I got home and my house was as dark as a cemetery.
    I listening to the take I noted the lack of forest sounds the were in the final cut. I guess is was raining during these takes(?), but the sound of birds-including the small plane-can be heard. Was there any discussion in including the natural forest sounds?

    Reply
  35. Shiny Avatar
    Shiny

    @ Duptiang, if memory serves there was suspenseful action music playing over this scene, plus they would mix in other sounds in post over it. Or maybe the Canadian woods are nice and quiet.

    Reply
  36. Ponytail Avatar
    Ponytail

    Who is doing the verbal sound effects? Is it the devilishly handsome Will Waring? Whoever it is, they do them very well. For a second there, I thought David was going to start fussing over Jason’s pants he had gotten dirty when he fell to the ground. Like iom666 said, David IS McKay. Both fussy guys.

    Reply
  37. JoanieC Avatar
    JoanieC

    Loved the SGA clip – thanks! And glad to hear that Max is still doing well.

    For the first time my dog didn’t bother with the firework’s this year. But that’s only because he’s gone deaf!

    Reply
  38. Erin Eklof Avatar
    Erin Eklof

    LOL, aw, sorry you were disappointed. Sounds like you did everything right Joe ;). Long time no talk. Hope you are as great as ever.
    I’m always out at a party on Spooky Night so I don’t get to see any tikes in monter suits. But scrubbing egg off my house is fun when I get home. You should come hand out candy at my house while I’m gone and we will both be served! When you comin to Cal next?

    Reply

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