Today, we hit the CNE (Canadian National Exhibit).  My goal: to eat as much crap as possible.  And, I’m pleased to report, this mission was a huge success…

My back-up on this day: Akemi, Carl, and Karen. They were on hand to eat what I couldn't finish and, if need be, call an ambulance on my behalf.
Akemi foolishly filling up on healthy calories.
Carl's "Your gonna eat what?!" look.

We arrived a little before 1:00 p.m. and ignored the solitary concessions, games, and rides, heading straight for the giant food court.  I was on a mission…

We arrive at Food Central. Let the games begin!
Hmmm. Decisions, decisions. Everything looks so not good...

Finally, we find what I’m looking for – my reason for making this trip…

The Luthor! A cheeseburger topped with lettuce, tomato, bacon, and a fried egg sandwiched between two Krispy Kreme doughnuts. And only 1500 calories.

So, how was it?

Carl was NOT a fan of the sweet doughnut/burger combination but I thought it worked just fine.  It was actually the fried egg I had a problem with.

Anyway, with the Luthor under my belt, I was free to adopt a more scattershot approach to my menu selections.  Next up was some not bad deep-fried chocolate fudge (see tomorrow’s entry for the video) followed by…

Deep-fried mac 'n cheese curds.

While everyone else was taking a breather, I swung by another booth and picked up a medley of treats…

From bottom left clockwise: deep fried Jo Louis, deep fried Mars Bar, and deep fried Twinkie.
Rather than go with the deep fried pickle, Akemi elected to go with plain old plain. Crazy, no?

We intended to head back only discover it was pouring rain outside.  So headed back inside and killed time by walking around – and eating some more.  I sampled some deep-fried coca cola (I believe they deep-fried the syrup and the result resembled a brown funnel cake).  I also picked up some wings at this place that offered choices ranging from mild to suicide.  When I ordered the suicide, the girls at the counter chuckled.  They told me it was because the suicide was insanely hot but I suspect it was actually because they knew I’d be disappointed by their weak kick.

Lonely boy eating his wings.

At this point, Akemi began to fear for my life and suggested it was time to go.  It had stopped raining so we headed out.  Along the way, we happened by a few more concessions…

Hot waffle ice cream sandwich.
We were almost at the exit when THIS caught my eye.

 How the hell do you deep fry butter?  Well, I’m glad you asked!

First you take the butter...
Then you dip them in batter...
Then, fry 'em up...
Top with various syrups and serve. Bon Appetit!

And that was it!  Oh, except for this –

Deep fried cherry aid.

Okay.  At this point, I started feeling a little dizzy, no doubt a result of the drop in barometric pressure.  So we decided to call it a day.

Homeward bound!
Carl and Karen will no doubt be back next weekend.

All in all, a truly memorable outing.

I was so full that I figured I wouldn’t eat until breakfast tomorrow.

But got hungry at around 7:00 p.m. and cooked up some insanely hot peppers and scallops.  Fortunately, I was able to cool down with some Haagen Dazs vanilla ice cream.

Needless to say, I fully expect NOT to sleep comfortably through the night.

Tomorrow, I try to tackle the mailbag!

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majorsal

hmm… food orgy.

works for me!! :p

Sparrow_hawk

Pleasant dreams, Joe!

sylvia
sylvia

Yuuuuummmm! Very cool expedition and great finds. The fried butter looks/sounds interesting. Yeah…waffle ice cream sandwich. Now I’m hungry again. But…not gonna do anything insanely or otherwise hot/spicy. Gotta get up early tomorrow.

Waves to Akemi, Carl and Karen for trying to keep you out of trouble.

Gilder
Gilder

Oh, Joe, you have me almost in tears. My gut is STILL uncooperative. I fear i’ll be living on plain baked potatoes, grits, and white rice for the rest of my life!

OK, rant over, nothing to see here…

Airelle
Airelle

OH MY GOSH!! Did they carry you out of there, What kind of nightmares did you have? Looks like a wonderful time. Now I am hungry, and nothing in the house compares to what you all ate, what fun. thanks for sharing! I think I am with you on the iffy egg, but that burger looks delicious, glazed donuts,!!. On man, thanks again.

Pamme
Pamme

Yikes! I can’t believe you can eat all that… and keep it down.

Lisa R
Lisa R

And you’re NOT in the hospital?? Joe, I have to say I’m impressed. smile Hope you’re able to sleep tonight.

Have a good night!!!! (well as good as you can with all that food in your stomach, LOL)

Ganymede
Ganymede

TWO WORDS:

Tapeworm Extreme!

Thornyrose
Thornyrose

Tomorrow’s report is going to be interesting. It’s going to be fun seeing how you handled the after effects of the binge. thanks for sharing, and looking forward to the mailbag.

SiSi
SiSi

This made me both queasy and hungry . . .

Nola
Nola

OMG! Food orgy is right. I can’t imagine eating all that fried and sweet stuff. Hope you don’t suffer any ill effects.

EnzoAquarius
EnzoAquarius

Hey Joe,

How in the world are you able to handle all that food?! The Luthor would be more than enough. Hell, when I go, I have a hot dog for lunch, burger for dinner (I forget what it’s called, but there’s a great burger joint near the west entrance of the Food Building IIRC), and end with Tiny Toms. You go beyond the extreme with fried foods!

Glad you had a good time and that the pouring rain didn’t hamper your mood!

How was the deep fried butter and mac & cheese? I’m hoping to go to the CNE next week and I’m trying to figure out what exactly I want to try out.

All the best!

max
max

Tell us about the prostate comment… :O

maggiemayday
maggiemayday

I couldn’t possibly fit that all in my tummy. But I’d surely try! Maybe all the cholesterol would slow my fast heart rate as it plugged up the extraneous arteries.

I do love sweet and savory combinations, and I sometimes eat fried eggs on my waffles with syrup, so I can see how the donut burger might work. I can’t have the tomatoes, so perhaps a slice of pineapple and red onions instead of white?

Fried butter? I’m a huge fan of Chicken Kiev, even though I’ve not had any in decades, mmmm melty butter and breading….. mmm. I’m sold.

I’ve had fried pickle slices, nummy, but best in small quantities. Too salty for me, and I’m not a fan of the ubiquitous ranch dressing dipping sauce.

Suicide wings? I’m a wussy, but my hubby can feast on ghost pepper sauce and not blink. My friend got a bottle for his birthday, and those who sampled it turned red and had sniffly noses… except MyLarry. He’s a freak.

Jay
Jay

Where did you find the cheese curds! I’m dyyyying to try them!

dasndanger

The video won’t show a picture for me. sad

Also, out of respect for Akemi, I will refrain from making comment about her pickle. (You knew I’d read something into that, didn’t you? I’m pretty sure you just bait me with these things.)

And lastly, I’ve come to the conclusion that either you have a tapeworm (nods to Ganymede), or you are bulimic. I mean, afterall, wasn’t it your ancestors who made a practice of vomiting after huge meals? wink

Boy, if memory serves me, over the past week or so we’ve (well, I’ve…in my imagination) established that you are very much like your Roman ancestors. All that’s missing are the orgies! grin

Sweet dreams, sir! You MUST share tonight’s dreams with us; after what you’ve eaten I’m sure they’ll be doozies!

das

DP
DP

I’m so jealous of your manly gall bladder and heroic insulin balance.

Did you eat all that food or were you sampling?

Waffle and ice cream – not so strange. On a waffle is the only way I’ll eat cherry vanilla ice cream.

@Gilder – Have you heard of the GAPS diet? It sounds so complicated, but I know some folks who have been happy with it.

Lewis
Lewis

Deep fried butter… and Paula Deen wasn’t there?

What is a Jo Louis??

–I have never heard of it before

Ponytail
Ponytail

My stomach hurts now after reading this blog! Didn’t anyone have a Fried Pepto Bismol booth near the exit? I don’t think I’d like the doughnut burger. That’s just gross. Thanks for sharing your awesome day with your awesome friends.

Bilo&Bella
Bilo&Bella

Do you have some sort of alien stomach or metabolism to eat ALL of that?

DP
DP

@das – I’m pretty sure he’s just baiting you with this stuff, too.

Sg1efc
Sg1efc

The Luther’s actually look pretty tasty, could probably eat 2 of them, maybe 3. I base this on the fact that I can be quite a pig, known to eat 3 Wendy’s triple cheeseburger meals at a time including all the large fries, LoL. smile

sparced
sparced

i think i’d be sick for days after eating all that. The burger looked the worst with that egg in the middle.

crayonbaby
crayonbaby

I was too busy giggling at this post. I must re-read it later. My stomach would have given up on that first bite. You have a stomach of steel. I really want to see how they deep fry fudge.

@iom666
@iom666

Out of curiosity, I’d like to know if you are born in Canada Joe ?
I am asking because your name is Italian, so I wonder.
Also, we, Euros, (I’m French BTW and living in Quebec) have a serious trouble to mix sweet and salty, and God knows that in Quebec they keep mixing Maple syrup with everything, meat, fried stuffs and maple syrup all over it, and I see you eating that Alien burger O-o. To me it tastes like if someone had mixed the dessert with the entrée and is forcing you to eat it (’cause of my European heritage, I consider dessert to be sugar and main course+entrée to be rather salty but never sweet). salt and sugar together really tastes like Alien food to me !