Wow. Hammering out a full blue draft rewrite of a fairly intricate first draft script was challenging, but it was a cake walk compared to selecting my teams for our annual office March Madness pool. On the one hand, the Yellow Jackets are very talented and have the potential to play spoiler but, on the other hand, they struggle against perimeter shooters and have proven themselves underachievers. Tennessee boasts impressive wins over two number one seeds (Kentucky and Kansas), yet they’re hurting and facing a road-tough opponent in San Diego State. The Butler Bulldogs ride a 20-game winning streak into the tourney, yet they’re up against UTEP, one of the best defensive teams in the nation. So who’s it gonna be? Perennial first-round winner Xavier or upstart Minnesota? Scrappy Marquette or the more athletic Huskies? Boilermakers or Saints? Demon Deacons or Longhorns? Tigers or Tigers? The thing that kills me is that I’ll spend hours painstakingly researching and analyzing the match-ups before making my picks and still end up losing to Ashleigh who’ll base her choices on which team has the cuter animal moniker. Those Golden Gophers are no doubt looking mighty fine right about now.
Still, I feel that this is the year I’ll break out of my rut and, if not win the office pool, then at the very least finish with a better record than Ashleigh. I’m confident because, after perusing previous tourneys, I’m applying time-tested logic to the selection process. So forget all of those so-called experts with their up-to-the-minute injury reports and match-up breakdowns. Here are Joe’s rules to picking your winning bracket:
1. Go with all the number one and number two seeds in the first round. They NEVER lose early.
2. Never pick a college that has been named after some guy (ie. Murray State).
3. Tourney teams with similar nicknames will cancel each other out in the great karmic scheme of things (ie. bulldogs, wildcats, tigers, aggies, etc.)
4. Avoid teams with goofy-looking team emblems (ie. that wacky Demon Deacon guy or that dude with the big orange head).
5. Cross off any team with a bear nickname be it grizzly or otherwise.
6. Avoid teams with nicknames that either don’t make a helluvalot of sense (ie. Cornell Big Red) or seem more amusing than imposing (ie. Wofford Terriers).
7. As your tourney picks progress, drop teams with colors in their names. So long Blue Devils. Sayanora, Golden Eagles.
8. Then, pick high-flying animal life over their earth-bound counterparts (ie. Cardinals over Blue Devils).
9. Lose any team with a nickname you can’t envision. Can you picture a Gael? No. Then say goodbye to St. Mary’s.
10. Lose any teams with historical trappings (ie. Spartans, Colonials)
11. Drop any team with a nickname indicative of a profession, hobby, or activity you’ve never personally partaken in (ie. Mountaineers, Miners, Volunteers).
12. In later match-ups, select the animal or human representative you would be least likely to invite over for dinner. For instance, I’d rather have a spider over for dinner than a combative Irishman – which would lead me go with Notre Dame over Richmond.
Your personal preferences and experiences will dictate your results but, using my 12 step method yields the following Final Four picks:
The Oklahoma State Cowboys, The Florida Gators, The Marquette Golden Eagles, and the Louisville Cardinals.
Hmmm. In retrospect, I should’ve just picked names out of a hat. Or gone with the team with the cuter animal moniker. I think Ashleigh’s on to something.
Hey, here’s a peek at another Art Department package – this one for SGU’s sixth episode, Water:
Guessing those next five episode titles…
Episode #6: TRIAL AND ERROR
Episode #7: THE GREATER GOOD
Episode #8: *A***E
Episode #9: ???
Episode #10: RESURGENCE
64 thoughts on “March 15, 2010: Let me help you with those March Madness brackets! Art Department Package of SGU’s Water! Guess the episode title!”
Sometimes, Joe, you’re a strange little man. But…you make me lol, and that’s what matters. (However, remind me never to come to your place for dinner… 😉 )
OK, maybe not.
I’m picking the Kansas Jayhawks to go all the way. But then I ALWAYS pick the Jayhawks (class of ’90). What could be cuter than Baby Jay?
Wow, those effects people have had to do some work. thanks for sharing the plans.great work by the art dept.
I can’t help you on the basketball stuff, but if I did I would go for the names in a hat or throw darts at the names on a wall, a little more fun, and you need to be blindfolded for that, and then maybe after you have had your meds, (jack and ice applied internally),just for luck.
Have a great day!
Don’t really understand all the sports ‘stuff’ – rugby is nice sport to watch. Not sure about the rules but it is usually played by men with big muscular thighs.
It now my bedtime – good night all.
No lie. Bizarre Foods With Andrew Zimmern. He’s in a Bejing restaurant where the main staple is penis. No kidding. Snake, deer, etc. Excuse me while I go vomit.
Oh, how about:
Strike carnage. Seven letters. I never was good at math.
What were you smoking when you made up those rules? They are quite funny. I’m sure there are people out there that follow similar rules, never to win the office pool. I’m going with the Kentucky Wildcats (I know, I’m breaking several of your rules). In Kentucky, basketball isn’t just a sport, it’s a religion. Go Big Blue.
Is number eight Damage? Has someone guessed that yet? See, if I had been paying more attention, I’d know the answer to that question. That’s my guess.
Hey, give us some letters for number nine. Or is the answer Question Marks?
BTW, my art department is better than your art department.
Yeah, Chevron7 already guessed damage, and battle, and ravage.
But how about
Um, didn’t you eliminate the Golden Eagles in step #7?
I gave up competing with my wife on pools…now I just copy her picks.
For episode 8, how about:
I see crayonbaby beat me to “Damage”…seems apropos considering the talk about betting pools.
A few more sling shots at ep8
Okay, I’ll play the episode game…
Yeah, I give up. 😛
Adding this for ep 9
Can I buy a vowel please?
LOL! I like your schema. I feel obligated to cheer for my school (Mizzou Tigers!), but figure K-State will win. I’d like to cheer for my home state of Minnesota but…in the end, I don’t care at all about basketball. Doesn’t Gonzaga or Duke normally win, anyway? Bring on the Frozen Four, I say!!
(sighs). Why does Basketball have to have its playoffs in March? Why not April madness? Watching basketball bores me to tears(I find even curling more interesting) and to have to put up with the obsessive coverage through the month spoils the various birthday celebrations my family enjoys this month. And now even your blog is once again devoted to this bane of my existence…
Mind, if I am going to read about it, I’d prefer reading your blog. Your spin on it can actually amuse me, and your methodology is as logical as any I”ve seen used. Ah well, boys will be boys, so enjoy the exhileration of picking the longshots and the devastation of having an upset knock you out of the contention for the pool. Looking forward to following your fortunes.
I’d either pick the team with the prettiest uniforms or the team whose players have the most tattoos. A combination of both? WINNER!!
Sweeet. Keep this art department stuff coming!!! I luv it!!!
Psh what is it with boys and their sports? Ashleigh has the right idea! 😉
Getting/being old sucks. I went out and bought a new tv for the bedroom and Mr. Deni put it together, then got in a snit at this newfangled technology because he couldn’t figure out how to “make the DVD go”. He was totally pissed at Sony and the world in general. I “fixed” it, going to watch Atlantis in HUGE in my bed. I hope I keep him up 🙂 “Midway” should do the trick, no?
Otherwise, Summer’s doing so much better. Swelling’s gone, although had a little bleeding today but after rushing her back to the vet, it turned out to be “normal” (?). Took her to the groomer to have some of that Cocker hair shaved away from her little face (she was constantly soaked under the e-collar) and she’s pretty much back to her old self, other than still getting stuck everywhere. She had a dental while under anesthesia as well, so she’s feeling pretty spiffy tonight 😉 I’m amazed at how quickly she’s adapted and is still my happy-go-lucky girl.
@Das (and Kabra sort of): I didn’t bother going to anybody for the elbow thing, just bought the brace and stopped putting my elbows on the desk. Kabra’s right, your pinky and ring fingers do hurt, but not always. LOL, the way you sleep, it’s no wonder! I sleep kind of the same way, maybe not quite as convoluted, but a bent elbow all night doesn’t help. Try the brace for a few days, maybe it’ll help and you won’t have to deal with the specialists, they’re a huge pain in the ass. You’ve heard the horror stories of my endocrinologist, so I hear you!
Have a great night, everybody!
Hey! You be nice to Murray State!
::reconsiders corn tamale delivery::
So you REALLY had a hard time comming up with tonite’s blog I see, BORING!! EXCEPT, GO GATORS!!! ,Remember ,I live in Florida!! If you see KLAM on set, tell him,I need more good Jokes!! He will know what you mean!! Sheryl.
9. He hasn’t given you the title yet, so you can’t indicate the number of letters or words in the title.
Can you picture a Gael
Umm, you might want to talk to that guy with the accent you folks are rumored to have hired for that new show you have in the works. He can probably tell you what a Gael is, might even be one (not a given, but a possibility).
Syracuse University will win the NCAA Tournament!
Hey, Joe —
Re rule #2 – Would you chose them if they were Teal’c State?
I think Cattle has about as much chance as Serpant’s Hat did way back in the good ole SG-1 days.
Having said that, I would be more than excited to check out an episode entitled Cattle if you so deem it to be the title.
Question though…why did you guys drop the one word titles? I was loving them personally!
Ep #8 could be either ‘Facade’ or ‘Parole’ or ‘Magpie’.
Hmmm…so, the title of episode 9 is maybe … numbers? (Or an astrological symbol, sort of like the symbol that Prince wanted to be known by, but was still referred to the artist originally named Prince, and now is yet again, just plain old Prince? Yes, I am rambling, why do you ask?)
Then (in no particular order)…
211 (penal code for armed robbery)
311 (city information)
602 (drunk driver)
702 (Nevada area code)
808 (Hawaii area code)
Did I post in past four days? Don’t remember. Could be the THREE MIGRAINES IN PAST FOUR DAYS making swiss cheese of my memory.
Made an appt. with orofacial pain specialist for tmw./Tues 16th. Reputable online medical advice is to treat TMJD pain and avoid orthodontics /surgery. Recent migraines may be part of TMJD. We shall see…!
Through whining now. Good night.
I think I’m going with “Damage” for #8 too although I’m not entirely sure why. Just seems to fit into the cadence of what’s there already. And “Repair” for #9 would just be too trite for words. Which may well mean that I’m wrong about that too…
Episode 9 – Curling – SGU style!
Really do LOVE all of the pix you have posted both of SGA and SGU. The trailer was just awesome. I was on travel and it was not easy to do my “normal” stuff like read and respond to your blog. OK..cannot avoid it…I was helping at the US Curling National Championships that determines which US teams represents the US at the World Curling Federation Championships. Men’s in Cortina, Italy and the Women in Swift Current, Saskatchewan, Canada.
Don’t laugh, you have no idea how strenuous Curling is that requires huge energy and stamina until you try it. And,. I have a polo shirt embroidered with – SGC Curling Club – thanks to another SG fan.
If Joe permits – a convention announcement.
Taking a liberty to post information about a convention focused on – Stargate Atlantis – July 28-31, 2011. Yes, 2011. Legendary Gathering Presents – The Legend of Atlantis in the legendary ocean area where the legends and mysteries of the lost city of Atlantis rise – The Bahamas.
Please check out the web site for more info and future info:
Thank you Joe…and returning you to the regular blog.
still can guess what episode 8th ‘s name is. With only 3 more letters Joe, I should be able to guess it 😀
re: you’re 12 steps method. I’ll have to get back to you on it :D, not sure how scientific your method is
Joe you knocked out the Cowboys with Rule 11, the Golden Eagles with Rule 7, and the Gators with Rule 3. So good luck with the Cardinals!!
I would’ve picked Texas A&M, Georgetown, Gonzaga, New Mexico.
p.s. sorry noelm 🙂
p.p.s. joe this is either the crapiest title you lot have ever come up with or the most brilliant title ever….remains to be seen 🙂
@ Gilder. Must be awful to have migraines. I had one only once and it was bad enough.. hope you find a cure soon enough xx
Those three questions marks…
Are you hinting at an ep called ‘Three question marks’ or ‘wtf’ ???????
I decided to join in March madness….
First round wins for:
I’m not all that up on my college basketball…..How’d I do?
Did you read that the NCAA tournament may cost US employers $1.8 billion? Lucky you’re in Canada 🙂
@ytimynona – putting my pedagogical hat on – Men like sports and anything where other men are aggressive to each other. It comes from their primitive part of the brain – the need for violence and competition in their lives. If they didn’t have sports, men would be more willing to fight in real battles. Bring a country lots of sports, and their willingness to fight each other goes down. That’s my theory, and I’m sticking to it.
Considering all of the above, the answer for #9 is:
-War and Peace
-Rush vs Young
-Young vs Tellford
-Eli vs Scott
-Eli vs Kino
Let’s get ready to Rum-ble!!!
I kind of like “Damage” or “Malice” for episode 8. 411 is the code for information and people occasionally use it as a noun, so maybe that is your episode 9 title? Or are you telling us that you still don’t have a title for that episode? Or is the title: “unknown”.
Gilder: so sorry about your migraines. I feel your pain. I’ve had migraines for years. The dentist said they were caused by TMJ. The ophthalmologist said it was my bad eyes. The gyno said it was my hormones. You get the idea. A few more experts, a few more theories. All of them threw meds at me with bad side effects. I hope you have found a doctor that will actually have an open mind. I have a killer headache now. On my way to the imitrex/coke/aleve. I hope your migraines ease soon.
Yep. I agree. The title must be damage.
Oh and Joe, do you think you could snap a few non spoilery pics of the cast? I miss those guys. 🙂
Thanks so much,
Major D. Davis
“…or seem more amusing than imposing (ie. Wofford Terriers).”
Hey, man, my Boston University Terriers took home the NCAA division I hockey title last year. They frequently beat teams called the Huskies, Eagles, Wildcats, Black Bears, and Catamounts (i.e. mountain lions). Little dogs are scrappy. 😉
I don’t pay attention to basketball, but good luck with your picks.
What? Football season already?
I am loving the art, thanks!
You realize you’ve just let slip the fact that your only serious competition is the Office Vegetarian.
I second Major Davis’s motion.
Oh Chevron7! Cornell! Haha that is such a hot upset! (I was a Temple student)
I have about 5 different brackets going out to a couple of pools and my favorite final four are Kansas, Syracuse, Kentucky, and Baylor. I like Georgetown and West Virginia making awesome runs too. And I await the epic collapse of Duke.
Good Luck with your picks Joe!
Not a die-hard basketball fan, but there are a few in my family, so I have to pay a bit of attention to “March Madness.”
Being a Georgia girl at heart, and since my hubby went there first time, will have to cheer for Yellow Jackets. And since I’m a “border girl” from near Chattanooga, will also have to root for the Vols.
Sorry all you other Texas guys, UT to me still means Tennessee. And my nephew is a huge Notre Dame fan. Duke is usually in the Final Four, so they’re always a good bet.
Episode #9 — I think that you don’t have/know a title for that yet and you are just as we Southerners say, yanking our chains on that one.
But, here are a few suggestions, cause I can’t resist that bait:
Are you ready for some football?
Where’s the Beef?
Are we there yet?
Where’s the bathroom?
Speaking of Curling — During the Olympics, one of the ice arenas in Dallas gave curling lessons. The newspaper articles talked about how terrible everyone was and how difficult it is to do correctly. It is oddly fascinating.
Oh and the movie campaign’s facebook group has more then 600 people. Pretty sweet huh?
Thanks so much,
Major D. Davis
Hello 🙂 Comment ça va ?
Moi très bien!!
Je vous avoue que je ne saisie pas très bien de quoi vous parlez au début de votre article o__O?..il faut vraiment que j’améliore mon anglais!…et vous sa ne vous direz pas d”écrire un article tout en français?^^
Merci pour toutes ces photos et l’ajouts de lettres aux titres de sgu!!
Love the production packages especially the one detailing the gate address and its location on the gate. However it also brings up the fact that we have no idea how this gate system works. Will this be brought up soon?
Wow, I didn’t realize the Black Hills State Yellow Jackets were contenders this year! Oh wait, it’s those other Yellow Jackets?! Hmmmmm….
Thanks for the drawing of the Destiny Gate!
@ Gilder – hope your migraines have subsided!
(writing Mary Worth style)
Do you know if the Stargate Atlantis?
Murray State can take Vandy. Everyone thinks Demarcus Cousins of UK gets off his game the most when rattled , but Oglivy is just as bad or worse. By way of disclosure – Murray State is my alma mater. Billy Kennedy will coach at a higher level in a year or two.
College basketball in this state is followed more closely than in states that have major sports teams.
Can’t wait for the back half of season 1 btw…
My cousin went to Murray State. Don’t count them out. That region is HUGE for basketball. My cousins used to have Christmas Day basketball practices in high school. I’ve had kids introduced to me around there, not with their age or grade, but more along the lines of “She’s changing out for the 8th grade team.” Wait. Are we talking about basketball?
It’s so obvious now. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before.
The fans have decided to override whatever your other plans were. #8 is now Damage.
Hi Mr M!
My guess is VANTAGE
Also, I see chatter re: gael. Well, as the only certified GAEL here, I can tell you on St Patrick’s day, I am ready to take my part in SGU!!!
Best from Ireland and Happy St Patrick’s Day to one and all!