MGM’s Grey Munford dropped me an email yesterday that read: “From the studio that brings you Stargate comes another SciFi epic…”: Hot Tub Time Machine (  “Waking up from an all-night drinking binge, four guy friends realize they been transported back to the year 1986 — a perfect chance for them to change their futures.”(

Imagine!  Being able to go back in time and change the past?  Undo all of those mistakes, all those stupid decisions you later came to regret?

So if YOU were to go back in time, what would you do differently?  I’ll tell you what I’d do differently.  A lot!  But at the top of the list: I’d take more baths! Sure, showers are the way to go in the morning when you’re in a rush but at night, soaking in a nice hot tub is the way to go.  I suspect that if I’d taken more relaxing baths over the years, I’d be a much kinder, gentler, far less stressed individual right about now.  Still, it’s not too late to turn things around.  I intend to turn my life around by making the time to take more baths!

Starting tomorrow night.

Anyway, if you’d like to check out a sneak screening of Hot Tub Time Machine, head over here:

Hey, thanks to everyone who weighed in with their psychological assessment of my dream.  Thanks to your input, I’ve come to realize that I’m far more screwed up than I imagined.  Well, I suppose there’s nothing left to do but put my affairs in order and book a room at the local sanitarium.  Do they still call them sanitariums or is that now considered politically incorrect?  I, personally, always liked “asylum” but I have a feeling that went out of style with those 1970’s Hammer Films starring Vincent Price.  I also suspect that the following terms are no longer being used by contemporary mental health professionals: booby hatch, bughouse, funny farm, laughing academy, loony bin, madhouse, nuthouse, psycho ward, rubber room, and snake pit.  But I could be wrong. Still, if it was my call, I’d keep “laughing academy” around as it conveys much more pleasant and positive connotations than, say, “institution” or “psychiatric ward”.  In fact, if and when I’m eventually released and I find myself in a conversation in which I’m asked where I’ve been for the past several years, I would much rather say “I was at the laughing academy.” and allow the other person to potentially assume I was at clown school pursuing a bachelor’s degree in seltzering, tiny car driving, or making children cry.  You know, the usual clown specialties.

So I got a mysterious-looking package in the mail today which is kind of curious given that most of my mysterious-looking packages arrive at the production offices whereas this one was delivered to my home address.  Above the return address was a name I didn’t recognize: Stephen somethingorother.  And not just Stephen somethingorother but Dr. Stephen Somethingorother.  For an instant, I imagined a “resourceful” fan had somehow managed to track down my home address.  One day, I receive an innocent “feeling out” package and then two weeks later Stargate83 shows up at my front door, luggage in tow, hailing me with a hardy: “Hey, I was passing through Vancouver on my way to Alaska and thought I’d drop by!”!  Well, as it turned out, it wasn’t a crazy fan after all but a crazy foodie – none other than my Tokyo travel buddy and fellow gourmand Stefan who, apparently, actually spells his name Stephen.  He sent me…

A French fleur de sel and a California version in addition to a salt carrier like the one he carries around.  My first step to becoming a salt snob! A French Fleur de Sel and a California along with a handy salt carrier.

Thanks, big guy!

The SGU season two episode list…





#4: C*O**R****

Today’s blog entry is dedicated to vacationing Jenny Robin and proud papa Shirt ‘n’ Tie.  Congrats!


Rafael writes: “Are you crazy? The hobo would certainly flee the scene with the ring so fast that would take you half an hour to realize what just happened!”

Answer: Which is why you have to find an honest hobo, or one that will promise to be back with the ring.

Chevron7 writes: “Wouldn’t it be easier to hire an actor to play the hobo?”

Answer: You could, but then you risk your fiancee recognizing the actor from his one line performance in Lone Gunmen and your plans are ruined.  Best play it safe and go with the real lovable hobo.

DasNdanger writes: “Two things come to mind: 1. You feel your life is transparent; and 2. You feel like life is still a precarious uphill climb, but your goal is within reach, and once you get there, you will find contentment.

So…am I close?”

Answer: Beats the hell out of me – which is why I’m asking you guys.

Debra writes: “A good bottle of your fave wine or if you like it, absinthe. I hate licorice so was told I’d hate it, but I like it a lot.”

Answer: I’ve had a bottle of absinthe sitting unopened in my liquor cabinet for over a year now.  Something else I should get around to.

Major D. Davis writes:1. Is Will directing aftermath?

2. Will there be any hand to hand scenes in the second half of sgu season 1?”

Answers: 1. TBD.  2. We will not be seeing the polished/choreographed type of hand to hand fighting we saw in either SG-1 or Atlantis.

Anais33 a ecrit: “Quel est la marque de votre parfum?”

Response: Ca depend.   Chez moi et en Montreal, c’est Tuscany.  En Hong Kong, c’est Terre D’Hermes.  En Japon c’est John Varvatos Vintage.  Au bureau, en 2008 c’etait Acqua di Parma, en 2009 Calvin Klein Obsession, et en 2010 c’est Boss Pure.  Quant je sors, des fois c’est Giorgio Armani White et des autres fois Rochas Man.

Translation: I don’t have one cologne.  If I’m at my place or in Montreal, it’s Tuscany.  In Hong Kong, it’s Terre D’Hermes while in Japan, it’s John Varvatos Vintage.  Back at the Stargate offices, it was Acqua di Parma in 2008, Calvin Klein Obsession in 2009, and Boss Pure this year.  When I go out evenings, it’s either Giorgio Armani White or Rochas Man.

Bloomgate writes: “One question for a script writer: Why do more people order anchovie pizza’s on TV than in real life? I worked in pizza joints for over 3 years straight and nobody in that time EVER ordered an anchovie pizza. I recall seeing a dusty, sad-looking can of anchovies on the same shelf for years that never got used, but had to be there “just-in-case”.”

Answer: No idea.  I guess it’s one of those bizarro pizza toppings that only the weirdest of weirdoes order and enjoy – sort of like Hawaiian pizza – that somehow captures a writer’s imagination.

Flagitious writes: “7. Were DHD’s built by the Ancients, or were they built by the Wraith in Pegasus and Goa’uld in the Milky Way?”

Answer: The DHD’s were built by the Ancients as well.  The Wraith and Goa’uld, of course, availed themselves of the technology.

“8. Three part question: a.) Are DHD’s an actual power source for dialing, or just an easy way to access the gate network?”

b.) How are the gates in the galaxy Destiny is currently in able to dial out without DHD’s if DHD’s are a power source?

c.) Why did the Pegasus and Milky Way gates fail to be able to dial out without DHD’s unless an external power source was connected? Was it a system fail-safe?”

Answers: To be honest, never thought about it nor was ever curious enough to bring it up in the room.  Let me get back to you.

“9. Which gates are older – Pegasus, Milky Way, or Universe?”

Answer: Universe.

“10. How many gates are on Destiny?”

Answer: Just the one.

67 thoughts on “January 22, 2010: Panda Divorce Rate at All Time Low!

  1. I go with loony bin or funny farm. I was unlucky enough to spend a few weeks in such an establishment (way back in 1997) and it was great fun – but then I was bouncing off the walls manic at the time. The medical staff didn’t wear uniforms so it was really hard trying to work out who was crazy and who was working there (but not necessarily sane).

    Talking of ‘resourceful’ fans – have you ever been recognised by a fan in the street? Asked for your autograph? (Apart from the young lady from Montreal).

    Hope your mother is in fine spirits and getting on with Claude.

    Has Brie left home yet? I hope she is planning on keeping in touch.


  2. Sanitarium, asylum, funny farm……
    …..then we break out in greatful chorus…
    They’er coming to take me away, ha ha
    They’er coming to take me away, ho, ho, hee hee
    To the funny farm where life is wonderful all day long.
    Those nice young men in their nice white coats are coming to take me away…hahhahahahahaha

    Sorry, was just impulsed to gaggle out the lyrics to an 80s? song. Terrible I remember some of the lyrics.

    I don’t know that I’d want to re-live my life. Yes, there are some things I would have preferred to do differently. But, at what cost? Not everything was peachy, and I certainly could not affect every aspect of my life. And, to have to re-experience some of the un-peachy stuff would be enough to make me not volunteer for the opportunity.

    Interesting thought and mental exercise though.

  3. Hi Joe:

    Question: If you are already pressed for time, how are you ever going to find time for baths? If you do find time, do you have a Jacuzzi tub? I’d make time for one of those. There’s nothing like massaging jets on your tired muscles.

    As for politically correct terms for places that house the mentally ill, there are still hospitals set up specifically for people with mental illnesses, but they are also called hospitals so as not to draw negative attention to them. But, I’m sure that any mental hospital in the lower mainland of B.C. would be quite happy to have you. Then you’d have all the time you need to write your scripts. Unfortunately, though, you couldn’t bring your dogs.


    P.S: Congratulations to Shirt n’ Tie for your newest family member.

  4. t’loc
    I just want to join in on wishing the big J the best on his movie project and hope that the network PTB will not only give the production team the go ahead to do the Atlantis but also enough financing to do it with all the Bells and whistles.
    And of course All The Best to Mom
    less than 3 weeks before the release of sgu 1.0

  5. You don’t call ahead for a room anymore. The B.C. Mental Health Act has it streamlined for you. Just call the police and let them know you feel a strong urge to protest something during the Olympics. They’ll send a car for you.

    Going back in time? My to-do list has old enough items on it as it is. If I did go back in time, I’d just procrastinate until too late rolled around again – like that appointment I was supposed to make for my husband. Okay, but I could’ve understood the importance of expiration dates better back in November so, maybe I’d pass information, but I’m so skeptical, I might not even trust my future self.

  6. Best play it safe and go with the real lovable hobo.

    But then how do you know that the lovable hobo doesn’t happen to be an out-of-work actor? These days, you never know.

    That “O” doesn’t really help things, as it still makes me think of “Crossroads”, but I’m assuming that since a bunch of us have guessed it and you haven’t said that’s what it is, it’s not that. If that isn’t what it is, a letter that wouldn’t fit that word would be helpful.

  7. If I were to pluralize the word I would go with sanitaria, but I’m one of those people.

  8. Holy crap! I wasn’t expecting you to answer my post! I don’t know if I’m embarrassed or happy! Well, I’m going to enjoy my lucky and recommend you this short Brazilian documentary from the eighties, that I’ve just saw a couple of days ago. You are probably going to find it interesting and sad.
    French:(better quality)


    Okay, that’s it. It’s after 2am, I’m going to bed!!

  10. Clearly, the Littlest Hobo is needed to pull off Joe’s exceptional marriage proposal plan.

    I don’t think baths are a good idea. If it’s true that a night in a hot tub can make you travel backwards in time, repeated bathings could potentially send you back to the stone age. You wouldn’t want that now, Joe, would you? Think about it: no restaurants; no foie gras; the dog has not been domesticated yet; and you have to catch your own sushi! Worst of all, there won’t be bathtubs or hot tubs there (or should I say, “then”), so you won’t be able to get back!

    I hate to tell you, Joe, but you are already at a laughing academy. No, I don’t mean Bridge Studios; in reality, you are a mental patient at Riverview Mental Hospital, and all of this is just a figment of your crazed imagination.

    Well, not ALL of this. Several of us regular posters are actually employees at the hospital who regularly talk to you about your daily life. Why, I remember that afternoon when you showed me a drawing of…what did you call it? Oh yes, an Ancient. Of course, there was nothing on the white piece of paper, but you insisted that it was there, but just in the same color as the paper, and that I must “feel its presence” instead of using my eyes. What a great day that was.

    Surely, your main fantasy that you are the Executive Producer of the Science Fiction franchise “Stargate” has led to many strange encounters between you and the staff here. From your many “scripts” that you write on the walls of your room (most of which are just scribbles, except for the one called “Window of Opportunity”, which was Awesome), to the showbiz lingo that is quickly filling up your vocabulary (you once told me that you were going to “previz a prep to spin and break the draft arts department package, and then do a pass on the mix of the Director’s cut.” – then you promptly took a nap), and finally to the scifi lingo that is quickly filling up your vocabulary (you told me, not long ago, that I needed to “gate to the nearest wormhole drive dive through the water world to find life unfurled in the flux capacitating Ancient communicating stones throw from a hatak atop the Fifth space race Wraith raised to serve the Goa’uld would rather P3X-44-niner miners Ancient diners on incorporeal plane of existence Bane of existence Pain of existence persistence of Apophis Anubis is nothing cruvis with the crew is unhappy over the Daedalus serving as a bus to the Pegasus exodus among us is a Trust spy into Ra’s eye sees all of Thor’s might I disuade you from seeing the light as it will drive you to suicide in the dark night of Michael’s creatures blight upon the world of fog just a cog in the well-oiled machine-ation of the enemy against me totally wanna own me and my body bag the sample with A kino don’t be gentle with Jinto of Athos he released the mofo of dark a cloud of sparks a force driven by mark I Naquadriah generator irradiator of Daniel-ator said see ya later to Jack Teal’c Carter barter with villager for power over Telford is an ass like the kid princess of excess sass must go to Netu for a redo of Reetou CGI First Strike light on story but treat for the eyes of Ori sees ALL. Peace.” I followed your advice, and promptly took a nap. It was refreshing). All of these things have served to help us paint a picture of your mental anguish.

    Don’t even get me started on those dreams about glass you said you’ve been having; there are dozens of psychology papers to be written, peer reviewed, and published about them.

    And then there was the time that you told Hospital Administrator Narelle of your dogs. We had no idea what those are, of course; no such animals exist in the real world (I think the closest fit would be the Lacaplax; I have two of them, one dinarkaporian, and the other male). You went on for 2 hours about how “Lulu” was chasing “Jelly” around “your house”. Such vivid imagination!

    There were also bad times, of course. None of us could forget those few weeks when you began thinking that you were travelling to Japan to “eat my way through Japan”, as you said. No matter how much we tried to tell you that Japan is in fact a mystical land found in the great fictional works of Hayao Miyazaki (himself a British playwright from the 1600s), you continued to maintain that it was in fact an island nation off the east coast of Asia that was made entirely out of edible material. We had no choice but to humor you, to the point where you ate playdoh that you thought was “sushi” (it’s actually the name of our current Prime Minister. Yep, the great Prime Minister Sue Shi). Still, it was hilarious seeing you mistake Administrator Narelle for a cosplayer.

    Of course, our greatest accomplishment was getting you to befriend the other patients at the hospital, like our perennial member, das. Though there was that month where we separated you two when she bleached your skin and hair, you two still remain the best of friends.

    Anyway, I hope this revelation of what your reality really is doesn’t damage you psychologically – but, if it did, we’ll all be right here to help! 🙂

    Congratulations, Shirt ‘n’ Tie on the new addition to the family!! Quite a collection of adorable munchkins you’re building up over there across the pond! 😀

    Tell us the truth: are you building an Army of Cuteness with which you plan to overthrow Western Civilization?!

  11. Hot Tub Time Machine? I can’t even comment on that…

    Lone Gunmen! Aww, I miss the days of The X-Files and its short-lived spinoff.

    Why do you have so many colognes? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love a lot of scents, but I stick to one and one only. It feels too cluttered to have more than one. I found one that I feel suits my personality and what I want to convey and that’s all I need. I think it’d be like multiple personalities,

  12. Don’t worry, Joe! Me and my package (that sounds wrong) will be arriving at your house shortly! 😀

  13. I would never go back in time to fix some mistakes. That’s one thing that Stargate has taught me – you’ll never know how it will effect the future. Things could end up being worse.

  14. Coucou Joseph!

    ahhh je viens de faire une bonne grasse matiné, dommage que j’ai fait 5 rêves différents et très étranges.

    Quel choses je changerai dans ma vie si je le pouvais?
    • Plus de travail dans mes étude notamment au collége.
    • Un peu moins de stargate pour avoir une vie sociale un peu plus remplit
    • Plus de discusions avec mes parents.

    …mais pour l’instant comme je suis jeune et je n’ai pas encore commencé ma vie active je ne peu pas dire si ce sont des erreurs irréparables ou qui pouront changer. En tout cas la chose que je ne regretterai jamais c’est de vous avoir connu!

    Yah super le cadeaux que vous avez reçu!!! Ahhh j’adore le sel, j’en mange très souvent avec mes aliments, même si je sais que ce n’est pas très bon pour la santé..(oh le chanceux il à votre adresse personnelle, moi aussi je la veux…..=P)

    O_O lol et bien, avec tout ces parfums je ne sais plus où donner de la tête …bon je l’ai achétes tous !!…lol vous allez me ruiner XD!

    Passez une bonne journée!
    Gros bisou!

  15. Chevron7 writes: “Wouldn’t it be easier to hire an actor to play the hobo?”

    Answer: You could, but then you risk your fiancee recognizing the actor from his one line performance in Lone Gunmen and your plans are ruined. Best play it safe and go with the real lovable hobo.

    True, I did watch the Lone Gunmen, couldn’t really get into it as much as I loved those guys in The X-Files.

    However seeing as the show wasn’t a hit, perhaps the actor fell on hard times and is now forced onto the street.

    Expect another mysterious package in the mail in the next couple of days (my gift to you). I guess I could have used my search skills to find your home address but that would just be creepy. I’ve sent it to the production offices.

    The thing with changing events and decisions is that you might end up in a worse situation. Maybe I wouldn’t be here right now discussing this. I’d have a different job and I’d watch Grey’s Anatomy (ugh!).

    Cheers, Chev

  16. Oh and sorry Grey but Hot Tub Time Machine sounds stupid. I’d much prefer MGM spent money on Extinction but that’s just me.

    Cheers, Chev

  17. Ooh an episode called cloakrooms hmmmm….interesting

    Maybe its an alien name…maybe its a Spanish, French or Latin name. Perhaps we’re making too many assumptions. What language is the word?

    Cheers, Chev

  18. If I could go back in time, I’d retreat to lunchtime Wednesday, and take ten extra minutes to go to the great place where I usually get a gyro when the craving hits, instead of stopping at the kind of skeevy-looking shack I happened to pass by. That bad call explains Thursday’s lack of energy and today’s ease in falling asleep within 10 minutes of getting home, sans hot bath. (And consequently being awake at 3 a.m., when my sleep has been so much more normal after getting back into a healthy [but yes, slightly boring] lifestyle.) — Dunno, so much I wish I’d done *very* differently; but like Sylvia said, who really wants to relive the not-so-great stuff that isn’t under your control?

    “Laughing academy” is okay, except usually there are few patients laughing in the head shops I’m familiar with. — Well, the patients in your circle of compadres would be, I’m sure — except, presumably, during meals. Also, it could be a bit overly reminiscent of The Dream Academy, even though from what I’ve read, “Life in a Northern Town” was their only big song. C’est la vie.

    Otherwise, LMAO at the rest of your discourse on the subject. Gonna print that out and take it in on Monday, when more staff will be around to grin over it, and add their own quips. And don’t worry about the pc part, which mostly only applies when we talk to patients or to the media. If we didn’t develop a slightly twisted sense of humor, we wouldn’t last more than a year as staff. — Thanks to Susan the Tartan Turle for her humorous and unsettlingly accurate remarks about not always knowing staff from patients. Bwahahahaha.

    Very nice gift from Stephen. – Off-topic, but I’m kinda glad to know that’s how he spells his name, since my first b/f was named Stefan. My parents were pretty tolerant about dating issues, but I don’t think a 20-30-year age difference would’ve been accepted. And I really couldn’t have dealt either unless said older man was a total studness, “good vampire” who looked to be 20 at most. (Also not acceptable to parents, but I would’ve loved it.) — Yeah, I know there are other guys named Stefan. Just hard to forget those clichéd-but-sweet, halcyon days.

    “I guess it’s one of those bizarro pizza toppings that only the weirdest of weirdoes order and enjoy – sort of like Hawaiian pizza. . .” Technically, they’re not weirdos. They’re from L.A. – Merely a point of semantics. *w*

  19. Uh uh. No mental facility for you. First, they might damage your ability to entertain us. Those weird neuron connections that inspire you to enjoy weird foods and write great scripts cannot be threatened with something like sanity. Also, it woudn’t be fair to us, your readers. You’d end up having papers to prove you’re sane, while the rest of us would have to come up with convincing arguments to prove the same.
    Ref the new MGM movie. Give the exec named a trophy for testicular fortitude. No Atlantis or SG1 movie, or even word of an eventual film, but talking up what sounds like a marginal sci fi/ comedy flick to us? I’ll wait to see the trailers to see if I might be interested, but the IMDB synapsis isn’t making me feel any love.
    Mailbag appreciated as always. Thanks from taking the time from a nice soak to keep us informed.


    I love anchovies by the way – can’t even consider a pizza without a bit of choves on them!!!

    Ever heard of Brut 33 cologne for men ?(aka cat’s piss)

    Nice! (not)

  21. PS no edit button – the above guess of mine is incorrect because apparently I can’t count. I’ll blame the lack of glasses… yeah, that will do.

  22. Hi Mr M!

    Many thanks to you all for the kind wishes. With regard to pronounciation:

    Deirbhile = Der- Villa (It means Daughter of a Poet)

    Doireann = DIR – INN (It refers to the legendary daughter of Finn McCool (or Fionn MacCumhaill) He was an Mythical Irish Hero who defended Ireland…kinda the Arthur Legend Irish style)

    Deirdre = Ask Das!

    And not forgetting Hazel, (Deirbhile’s twin) who got the easy US Immigration Form Filling name….

    So four little ladies, or 5 women under 6 feet as I say….

    Much happiness here and many thanks for the Blog dedication!!


  23. Ok you guys. I’ve used some l33t h4x (aka Java) and it is one of the following words!!


    My vote goes to Cloverleaf, and the plot will involve a huge monster attacking Destiny.

  24. It still seems that Crossroads should be it.


    Or…Cloverleaf (but that doesn’t…well, that actually could make sense for a title if it’s about an interchange of some sort…but I always think of highway access roads…or Ireland.)


  25. #5: Chondrites/Chondrules

    Makes me think of fail-safe and yellow wires. 🙂

  26. Thanks for asnswering my questions Joe!

    Of course I knew we won’t see the same we saw in Sg-1 or Atlsntis. So let me refrase it.

    Will there be any hand to hand scenes in the second half of the season like the one in Justice?

    Thanks so much,
    Major D. Davis

  27. Thanks to the wonder of, and assuming that you didn’t add too many/few asterisks, I’m guessing that the title of the second #4 is… Crossroads. Or Cloverleaf. Or Cloakrooms. Given that you already used Crossroads as an SG-1 ep title in season 4, I’m hoping Cloverleaf (so long as it’s a crossover with J.J. Abrams film “Cloverfield”; the Destiny team find the home planet of the giant skyscraper-crushing, Statue of Liberty-hating monsters, and the entire encounter is recorded on a kino found afterwards in Central Park…)

    On the other hand, I would love to see where you could go with an episode called “Cloakroom”. 🙂

  28. Hi Joe, Talked to @ANNE TELDY today. She is feeling better, but still really tired. She is STILL waiting on that script you promised. Come on man! Shit or get off the pot! SEND IT PLEASE, ANNE really deserves it!,Yes we still love you even after this “oversite”. Why don’t you put Ashlighy-sp?- on it? I’m sure she could get it done! Finally warm again in FL., as Kabra has said, thank goodness, can’t deal w/ that for two long! HI DENI, cookies to Elway!That’s all for now, places to go and people to bother! Sheryl.

  29. @Sylvia: 80s song? Try early 1960s! I sang it with a playmate when I was 5 or 6. But I think Dr. Demento gave it a lot of play in the 80s; it’s definitely on his 2-CD collection that came out in late 90’s.

    The final line is:
    “And I’ll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats!”

    @Joe: Time travel…hmmm…Took care of ailing parents? Check. Visited out-of-state relatives when possible? Check. Married a good man? Check. Nope, I’m good, thanks.

    But HOT TUB … sounds like a flick that might not be previewed to reviewers. I stand corrected…saw your note about previews. Hmmm, S and I haven’t been to movies in ages…!

    @S’n’T: Congrats! Won’t expect you to post for at least a month.

  30. I have to admit I thought the Hot Tub Time machine trailer was a joke – just some actors who wanted to produce a short in the form of a trailer. Even when the second one was produced, I wasn’t convinced. If they’re scheduling actual screenings, maybe, just maybe it really is a feature film.

  31. Joe,
    1) How do the gates that are not in the SGC or Atlantis able to refill their power reserves.
    2) How would a gate figure out which address to accept first if two incoming wormholes were dialed at the same time from similar distances?

  32. Mr. M,

    So I have some totally random questions which I’ve been mustering up the “courage” to ask. I figure if there’s one person alive who won’t judge me for the random and strange, it’d be you, Mr. Mallozzi. So, if you’ve got the time and feel like humoring me, I’d love to get a little insight into some (or all) of these. Thank you!

    1.) After the writer completes his passes on a script, and it has passed through all the revisions to become a “production draft” or “shooting script” (not sure what SGU terms it), and it becomes a locked script with the colored revisions in its future, is the writer responsible for numbering the scenes, adding the proper header, making the cast/set pages, and title page, or does that go over to an assistant?

    2.) I know over at SGU y’all use Movie Magic Screenwriter, but have you ever tried Final Draft? If so, which do you personally prefer? Why does SGU choose one over the other, not letting it be the individual writer’s choice?

    3.) Is there anyway I can get my hands on a script to SG1, SGA, or SGU (without buying it on eBay) that you know of?

    4.) You guys over at SGU (just like other good quality TV shows) are not an American production. Is it harder for an American TV writer to get a job writing for SGU than it would be for a Canadian? (Or a British writer trying to get the job)? Or does nationality not mean anything? (I ask mostly because I assume the guilds would have some sort of effect on that).

    5.) What’s your favorite script you’ve ever written? Why?

    6.) Any funny stories about any freelance writers who’ve been on during the SG franchise’s run?

    Mr. M., I truly appreciate the time and totally get if you ignore me completely. These questions have just been in my mind, but I never found a good excuse to ask; so I made an excuse (hence the “random and strange schpeel”). Thanks again.

    Best wishes,

    Random Fascination

  33. Go back in time? I would have stretched before that 400m race and would have ended up with the gold rather than frozen up legs 30m from the finish line and I probably would have focussed on my studies more.

    Hot Tub Time Machine? That’s it, I am going to stop watching movies and invest even more time in reading even though I love John Cussak. Dad gave all us kids Gwynne Dyer’s “Climate Wars” for Christmas (Dad’s a climatologist)and I think it’s time to tackle it.

  34. Does this mean we all have hands in our heads?? I want to go back to the Real World!!

    As for reliving my life again… no thanx. The decisions I’ve made in the past have shaped who I am now, and I pretty much like who I am now! 😀

  35. I had a rather horrid minor epiphany last night – correction, during the wee hours of this morning – right after I had closed down my computer and was on my way to bed… YOU, *Vannalozzi*, you have been secretly messing with our dictionaries, haven’t you? You, have invoked the cursed use of the *evil* “HYPHEN”!!! AND, have probably made it “silent”!! As in, not taking a space, but still implied….?

    Well then. If that IS the case, then I shall suggest a word that is rather common place around my family:


  36. For the last time people, the title can’t be Crossroads, as it was already an SG1 episode!

    Sorry to shout, but it’s these kinds of little things that drive me nuts! 😛

    Looking at those “all possible titles” lists, I think this might be one of those titles where the word is made-up. Thus, I will go with…


    Tammy: Of course I know about that hospital – I’m a patient there too! The staff there keeps telling me that all of this and all of you are just figments of my imaginations, but that’s preposterous!

  37. I wish to make a few question if i can 😀

    1. there is a door behind the destiny’s gate, where does it leads?

    2. if the destiny’s gate is older than the milky way gates, and the alfa gate found in earth is around 50 millions years old, as stated in SG1 episode “Frozen”, then is Destiny older than that? or the Ancients just placed their first stargate in Destiny?

    3. The space suits found in destiny are way to similar to those used in SGA episode “First Contact” by the rough Asgards, is it because those Asgard where using an Lantean suits?

    Answering yes to the last question will win me a bet 😛

  38. Re time travel…hmmm, something to do with the HAWT one, my Daniel…:) Hey guys, how’s everybody doing tonight?

    @Sheryl: What a potty mouth you have! 🙂

  39. Dear Mr. Joe, how in Hades comfort zone can the Gates in Universe be older than those in the MW? Sorry but I had thought that the Destiny had left Earth prior to the move to Pegasus,which it seeded, then continued it’s mission until the present day.

    The only options I can think of are:
    1. They time traveled and are on the Destiny before it entered the Milky Way, one of the reasons they can’t Gate back to Earth (because it isn’t where it is supposed to be).

    2. All the Gates were manufactured at the same time prior to the Ancients entering the MWG. The seeding ships are huge and are capable of holding evey Gate ever seeded and still has Gates left.

    3. The Destiny isn’t at the end of the fleet but in the middle. It makes decisions about which planets will get permanent DHD/Gate combos whch the following ship then place, evenas they pick up all the previously seeded Gates and will rush ahead to the Next galaxy to start the program all over again.

    4. Destiny has traveled in a circle and is re-approaching the MWG along the route the Ancients first traveled from their home Galaxy. Given enough time, it will return to the MWG naturally enough.

    This explains why planets were seeded that weren’t that habitable or downright dangerous. Lots and lotsof time since they were placed

  40. It’s been a big day. My sister and I went around to a few of the local vineyards for wine tasting, and one was having a winter festival (lemme tell ya – totally HAWT guys are into wine! It was a great day! 😀 ).

    But, needless to say, I really didn’t have time to answer your blog question …so let me take a moment to do so…

    If I could change one thing it would be to keep exercising, etc. like I did when I was younger. Unfortunately, marriage forced me to take on fulltime work, and between work, domestic chores, and other responsibilities, I just got out of an exercise routine and it’s had a negative impact on my overall health and well-being. And before you can say ‘Make time!’, you also have to factor in my ADD – I rarely keep the same routine for more than a few months because I am easily bored…it’s amazing how long I’ve lasted here! I’ve gone the gym/weight route and can only last about 2 months before I’m done with it, and I hate anything that involves large groups of catty bitches women exercising together. Then, my other problem is that I get overwhelmed with too many ‘to dos’ on my ‘to do’ list. Work, chores, cooking, etc…it all starts to add up to too much for me in one day. When I was single I was a walker – could walk for hours & for miles – but skinnyass Mr. Das isn’t, and I don’t want to walk alone, and it’s hard finding a good walking partner who’s available when you are, and I’m NOT into group walking, and…oh, you get the point. Bottom line – if you want something bad enough, you will do it – and as I’ve gotten older I’ve wanted naps more than exercise. 😛


  41. 4-Annie from freemantle – thanks for the link. what a hoot and yes, controversial lyrics/politically “incorrect” stuff.

  42. @ das: Yes! Exactly that day! Poor Joe; for a few days afterwards, whenever he looked in the mirror, he thought he was a ghost. I still remember those few hours he spent walking into walls attempting to walk through them.

    (Also, AWESOME manip! :D)

  43. Hey Joe, nice salt carrier box from Stephan,thought the white stuff was something else at first, sugar maybe..
    Go back in time, naw don’t think so, but maybe if sometime I could be a fly on the wall, or astral project or read minds or wish in one hand and you know the rest…
    Have a good evening!!

  44. Thanks for dedicating the blog partially to me. You really are a sweetheart. I’ve decided not to believe those terrible things I heard about you. At least, I don’t believe most of them.

  45. There’s something about SGU that’s been bugging me for a long time…With 7 and 8 chevron addresses, the address basically represents some region of space, and if there happens to be a stargate at that address, you get the wormhole connection…But if the 9 chevron address is a sort of code, like Rush and Eli suggested in Air, how would the stargate they’re dialing from know where Destiny’s stargate is since the ship is constantly moving???

  46. ““10. How many gates are on Destiny?”

    Answer: Just the one.”

    If there were two, could they play teleport pingpong between them? 🙂

  47. Hi Joe!
    I have a question. Question about SG-1 🙂
    At one forum, we talked about alternative ends of the SG-1. A friend found that the SGA did not even arise. Supposed to be SG-1 moved to Atlantis and it is there should continue with the next series.
    Do you want us to say something about it, please? 🙂
    Coder (www.stargate.czech: D)

  48. 3 minutes left…

    Looks like it’ll be a tension-filled race against time, preferably backed by a thrilling Joel Goldsmith score!

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