Well, whaddya know. Word is Jason Momoa (aka Stargate: Atlantis’s Ronon Dex) is the new Conan – http://www.deadline.com/hollywood/toldja-conan-the-barbarian-hires-momoa/. Congrats to Jason.
Last night, I dreamt that I was taking a hair-raising drive up a narrow, barrierless glass structure to an eighteenth floor parking facility. It was reminiscent of a dream I had when I was a kid in which I was climbing up an insanely high glass staircase, fear slowing me to a snail’s pace, while Curly of the Harlem Globetrotters brought up the rear, continually haranguing me to “Keep moving!”. What would a psychiatrist say? Well, if she was a Stargate fan, she’d no doubt accuse me of running out of ideas and using the same recycled plots for my night time reveries. So let’s dispense with the expert counsel and once again rely on the much less informed but much more entertaining advice of the average blog reader. What, in your unqualified position, is the underlying significance of my dream? What deep-seeded psychological issues are at play here? And, most importantly, what form of self-medication would you recommend?
The Stargate production is like one big, happy family – unless two members of said family decide to get engaged at which point the familial analogy becomes a little creepy, as was the case this morning when I found out that a couple of my fellow co-workers had recently decided to take that major step toward a joint bank account, quiet Saturday nights curled up in front of the t.v., and arguments over which set of in-laws to spend Christmas with. I was happy for them but disappointed the actual engagement wasn’t pulled off with a little more pizzazz. I mean, sure, the romantic getaway and the dozen long-stemmed roses is nice – but so damn cliche. Years ago when my writing partner Paul was planning to ask his then girlfriend to marry him, I suggested an approach so creative, so different from anything that’s come before, that I was sure he’d go for it. But he didn’t and I honestly can’t understand why. Well, his loss is your gain. If you’re planning on tying the knot, I offer you this delightfully unique way of springing the question…
1. Choose a location.
2. The day before the proposal, visit the location and find a lovable hobo. Give him the engagement ring.
3. The next day, return to the spot with your fiancee. At the agreed upon signal, the lovable hobo will approach, cup in hand, and ask you for change. Suggest your fiancee give him a quarter. When your fiancee goes to give him a quarter, she’ll notice the engagement ring rattling around at the bottom of the hobo’s cup.
4. At which point you ask her to marry you, take the ring out of the cup and put it on her finger.
5. She says yes. Happy Ending. P.S. Don’t forget to tip the lovable hobo!
Now I’ve never heard of anyone pulling off anything even remotely similar. This approach is as wonderfully imaginative as it gets AND offers a wonderful anecdote for friends and family. Finally, to ensure it all goes off without a hitch, make sure you’re there at the appointed time, remember to have your fiancee be the one to drop the quarter in the cup and, most important of all, impress upon the lovable hobo how frightfully expensive the ring is and thus not something he would want to misplace or damage in the interim.
Let me know how it goes. And I’ll be expecting an invite to the wedding!