Or not.  I don’t know.  It seems plausible.

Anyway, I was late for work today but I had a good excuse.  I was locked out of my garage.  No, really.  I packed up my things, harnessed the dogs, strolled across the backyard to my (detached) garage, tried to open the door and – it wouldn’t budge.  At first, I assumed it was locked but closer scrutiny revealed that it was, in fact, unlocked and that the culprit was a faulty whatchamacallaslideythingiethatclicksintotheslot.  You know.  I called up my writing partner Paul and informed him I would be late.  I explained the situation.

“It’s the garage door?”he asked.

“The door to the garage,”I clarified.   “Not the garage door.”

“Do you have a key?”

“It’s not the lock,”I told him, my frustration mounting.  “It’s the door handle.  When I turn it, the bolt doesn’t fully retract out of the slot.”

“You mean the latch?”

What am I?  The door expert?  How can I be expected to be familiar with trade jargon?!

I was nearing the end of my very frayed rope and so I did what I always do when faced with a seemingly insurmountable obstacle: I cursed and delivered several well-placed kicks to the offending target.  Then, I went inside, grabbed a butter knife, and proceeded to poke, prod, and jimmy the “latch” until I was finally able to get the damn door open!

As you can imagine, I was in quite a mood by the time I got in and my already sour disposition wasn’t helped by the news that everyone else had put their scripts out leaving me odd man out.  So, while everyone else was in Brad’s office chatting away, I retreated to my office for one last pass at the script before handing it off to Lawren.  The rest of the day was spent – what else? – reading scripts, although the true highlight was Ashleigh’s styling boots…

They were so, um, unique that I had to snap a pic.  “Are my boots going to be on your blog?”asked a hopeful Ashleigh.  “Er…ah…yeah.  Okay.”  Here ya go.

Well, hey now, this is interesting.  I was in the midst of writing this blog entry when I heard the chirrup of the home alarm indicating someone had opened a window or door.  My first reaction was: “Oh, Fondy’s home.”  And then my second reaction was: “Fondy doesn’t live here anymore.”  Plus: “And she’s in Jamaica!”  My search of the premises turned up no open points of access and, more importantly, no one hiding in any of the closets, under any of the beds, or suspending themselves crucifix-form below any of the skylights.  Just in case, however, take note – 8:15 was the approximate time that the suspect entered the premises.

I’m pleased to see the comments and questions on January’s book of the month club pick: Diving into the Wreck, by Kristine Kathryn Rusch.  Keep ’em coming.  Kristine is checking in!  And I’ll be sending her your collected queries by week’s end.


Jenny Robin writes: “Rob could have stopped by to say ‘hi’ to me while he was in town Saturday at the Cowboys game.”

Answer: Actually, he did go by your place but you weren’t home.  He rang the doorbell a couple of times and then walked around back.  Alas, all the doors and windows were locked.  Maybe next time.

Michelle writes: “Wait, if Paul is an exec producer this year, does that mean you are, too? I thought you were a bonded pair!”

Answer: Yes, we are both Executive Producers for SGU’s second season.

Jlgrand writes: “Still losing weight since your trip?”

Answer: No, but trying very hard not to gain with a sensible diet and two-a-day workouts.

Oneillfan writes: “Also, if you could take an unlimited supply of one food item only before being stranded on an island, what would it be?”

Answer: Chocolate – various kinds including the Vosges smoked applewood bacon milk chocolate truffles for that much-needed protein.

HBMC writes: “Where’s Brad?”

Answer: At the office with us – but he’s kind of camera-shy.

Joshwilko writes: “Any plans on visting “sunny” England in the near future? Also, what was the first tv show you wrote for, was it Stargate, or something earlier?”

Answer: Alas, no plans to visit England in the near future despite the invitations I received from two friends living in London.  First t.v. show I ever wrote for?  The Busy World of Richard Scarry.  I wrote a story titled “Patrick Pig Learns to Talk”.  In live action, it was an episode of a teen sitcom called Student Bodies.  Paul and I ended up writing almost a third of the show’s 65 episode run.  Our first one hour series: The Lost World.

72 thoughts on “January 12, 2010: New Studies Reveal That Drinking Makes You Charming

  1. 1. My hubby could fix your latch.

    2. I don’t understand the boots.

    3. How are the pups?

    4. Can you tell I’m in a rush?

    5. I’m sick of the Leno/Conan/NBC debacle.

    6. Check the shower, pantry, and
    behind the drapes. Also, put those dogs to work!

    7. Give my best to mom and sis.

    8. Have a good – and safe – night!


  2. I am absolutely shocked to hear you flailing around a very dangerous butter knife while still recovering from nearly cutting your finger off from a sharp object! Will you ever learn? Think man, think! You and any kind of knife do not mix. I’m just glad your okay.

    8:15. Gotcha. I wrote it down. We’ll tell the police if…

  3. Hey Joe, I’ve been a bit of a lurker around here so this is my first post, but I seem to be having a bit of trouble with a script I want to write. You see, I’m training to be an animator because I’ve had this grand idea in my head since the end of 07′ and it has been brewing in there ever since. But I’ve always been a kind of ‘Attempted Novel’ writer. (As in, I wrote ‘novels’ in my spare time, most of them barely got past chapter 10). I have the entire story arc of the first series planned out, and have a bunch of awesome plot ideas for series 2 and 3, but the thing is; I have no idea how to start a script. The thing I want to ask is this: How would you suggest starting pre-production on this massive undertaking? Do you have any advice for an aspiring animator/script writer like me?

  4. Also, sorry for the double post, but I’m curious: What programs do you guys use for the awesome CGI Effects in Universe?

  5. Sorry for the triple post here (Wheres the ‘Edit’ button on this thing?), but just to clarify: This isn’t an official project. Not yet, but I’m aiming for it to be. I’m only 17 (soon 18), so I’m surprised i have such an amazing idea this early on in my life. Just thought i’d ask for a bit of advice from a pro 🙂

    And just after reading the section of your post where you state that your alarm went off at 8:15, the first thing that sprung to mind was Flight 815 from LOST. I’m such a nerd about that show. LOL.

  6. Are you working for the Onion on the side? The blog titles suggest that you are. Love them.
    Fun entry today. Somehow, you being annoyed and harrassed by the world is so tastelessly enjoyable. Too tired to come up with questions, so hopefully tomorrow…cool boots, though I’d never be ablet o pull off looking stylish in something like that. Or stylish in about anything, come to think of it. And I doubt they make those in my size anyways…thanks as always for maintaining your unbroken strings of daily posts.

  7. You’re going to make us worry all night now? Seriously, when are you going to put up cameras and lights around your house? Oh, wait, where was Ashleigh tonight? Cool boots, btw.

    In light of the two big quakes this week, I hope you don’t mind me giving some information on quake safety (you know I can’t help myself). I’ve been trying to explain seismic waves on my quake walk for the last 14 years. Footage of a dog during the northern California quake (Jan 9th – 6.5 magnitude) shows it better than I’ve ever been able to say it.

    Seismic waves are the energy released when a fault ruptures. It’s what we feel as the earthquake, and they are made of P and S waves. The P wave is faster moving and less intense than the S (shear) waves. The S waves (there are 4 types) are slower and cause almost all of the damage.

    If you feel:

    Jolt = You’re at or near the epicenter and feel both wave types at the same time.

    Rolling motion = You’re farther away from the epicenter and the P wave has moved ahead of the S wave. I call the P wave the “Ah oh” wave. The Eureka quake was about 30 miles offshore. No one was near the epicenter.

    Here’s the video:


    1) Sophie the dog looks up in alert, then down to the floor, and then takes off like a bat out of hell. She feels the P wave coming through the vibrations in the floor, and can react to it in a heartbeat.

    2) In the upper right corner is a guy sitting in a chair. He feels the P wave too, and gets up to run out of the building. Unfortunately, as a human, he’s slow. As he runs, the S waves hit. He leaves himself completely vulnerable to all the “stuff” flying out from the bookcases, cabinets and possible debris falling from the ceiling.

    He had 7 seconds from the time Sophie took off to when the S (shear) waves hit. That’s why in those 7 seconds he should have gotten under his desk. Duck – Cover – Hold. And no doorways. The door can slam on hands and feet, plus, like this guy, you make yourself a bigger target to get hit by debris.

    The P wave can save your life if you understand that’s it’s just the beginning of a quake and react to it. Don’t think “Ah oh”, what do I do? Think “Ah oh”, I need to get under my desk, against a wall or wherever you have predetermined it’s safe. For Ivon Bartok, that would be using Greg as a shield.

    Here’s some more video of the Eureka quake:



    I hope this can help people understand why it’s so important to prepare for an earthquake. There’s so little time to make the right decisions during one. My thoughts are with all those in Haiti who are suffering today, and will have to endure during the many months to come.

  8. They’re pretty cool boots.
    Don’t need to shine ’em, won’t notice as they get more worn and beaten up.

  9. re: “Then, I went inside, grabbed a butter knife, and proceeded to poke, prod, and jimmy the “latch” until I was finally able to get the damn door open!”
    Joe, you need to stop playing with knifes. We all know you are trying to prove that you’re not clumsy…. not working!!!!

    re:Where’s Brad?”Answer: At the office with us – but he’s kind of camera-shy.”
    I did notice that a while ago. You need to take surprise pictures of him. We are interested in what he’s doing…

    re:writting partner. why did I tought that Carl was your writting partner???

    re: Yes, we are both Executive Producers for SGU’s second season.
    Does did mean that you will spend less time chatting with us on the net?

    re: Ashleigh, I’m glad to see she’s back. I was wondering about her the other day. The last I heard from her was when you said she was off on a trip with her boyfriend. I thought she had deserted you!

  10. 1) Does that mean there are 5 Executive Producers now (Brad Wright, Robert Cooper, Carl Binder, yourself, and Paul Mullie)?

    2) Can you please convince as many co- as you can to wear Ashleigh’s boots and post the photos just for my own amusement?

  11. 8:15! If anything goes wrong, I would totally be your constant. That’s weird, isn’t it?

    Ha, I totally remember Patrick Pig Learns to Talk! Surprising ending too, from what I remember.

  12. I used to watch “The Lost World” in syndication – the one that was on from ’99 – ’02? Or a different version? According to IMDB, I guess there’s several versions of the story. I liked the characters and the humor on it, even though the premise never really rang true for me.

    Sounds like you need guard dogs that won’t lick intruders to death – want to borrow a husky? 😉 Maybe your alarm was reacting to the now jimmied-open door to the garage.
    I had to do that once at the house of the autistic young man I provided respite care for. Putty knives work really well, too, BTW.

    Off to do research for a Tony Stewart racecar/ over the hill 50th Bday cake – love Google, I really do.

    PS – Ashleigh’s wellies are, well, interesting. But not in a good way…


  13. hey Joe

    congrats on the exec producer promotion, will you be cancelling SGU anytime soon or giving it a couple more seasons? 😛

  14. Do not play with knives, young man. I love it when guys think they can fix things. Call the handyman, pronto.

    Oh, it was probably one of the dogs sneaking in from who knows where. Crafty little creatures they are.

    Congrats on the promotion. Does that mean more money? Nah. Probably just more headaches.

  15. Congrats on the Exec Producer cred.

    “Fondy doesn’t live here anymore.” huh? do you mean she’s on holidays or did I miss something?

  16. @paloosa: I was in the 1976 earthquake in Guatemala (7.5 with thousands of aftershocks). It hit at 3 a.m. when most people were asleep. I remember waking up to my bed sliding across the room and my dogs were already downstairs waiting for us at the front door. The real “shock” came the next day when we tried to get to my aunt’s house and saw what had become of the city and much of the rest of the country. Typhoid and other diseases were rampant and there was very little (noticeable) aid. It was heartbreaking to see so many people in so much trouble, and more than frustrating not to be able to help them all. Unfortunately, in poor countries such as Haiti and Guatemala, all the earthquake preparedness in the world will do no good because of shoddy construction, lack of education and/or means for the poor to help themselves even in the most basic ways. Twenty thousand plus died as a result of that earthquake, many more were injured and who knows how many were left homeless.

    Ye gads, it’s almost 3 a.m., I should try to get back to sleep! Hi Joe!

  17. Should we put out an APB on you in advance?

    Jamaica. I’m jealous. I visited there once. Still, to this day, the most beautiful landscape I’ve ever seen.

  18. Um, I don’t mean to pry, but “Fondy doesn’t live hear anymore” has me wondering……

  19. @Eric.Stewart Apparently you’re new to the blog. Joe has failed to post only once since moving to WordPress (?maybe longer?)

  20. Well, we all have our Homer Simpson moments. I would have done the same with the locked garage door. A few kicks, a good a mount of cursing, huffing and puffing and as a last resort, a flat tip screwdriver for a more, um, “scientific” approach. You went with a butter knife; well, that in itself is hilarious. Anyway, good day to you sir, and I hope SGU comes back on air soon.

  21. @paloosa. Great info and videos on earthquakes. thanks for posting.
    @Michael. I second your idea about Ashleigh’s boots. Though we should all get to be amused by them; we are a community here after all…

  22. Hi i like how we have seen most of Sg-1 guest cameo so far how about from Atlantis ?
    Maybe mckay can use the stones to visit destiny to check things out as long as he doesnt blow them up while hes there.
    If not is mckay and sam carter working on a plan to get everybody home and with destiny as well?
    Oh also i miss the stargate tunnel effect when traveling to the next stargate can you put that back in on sgu it seems off a bit without it.
    And do they know exactly what galaxy destiny is in now and how many galaxies away are they now.I tried to count on the map in “Air” but i it got cut off at 11 galaxies.

  23. Joe, joe, joe…. don’t you have a Swiss army knife or a multitool? Much better (and safer to use) than a butter knife for those little household emergencies.

    @paloosa: living here in the midwest, I worry more about tornadoes and floods. But those were excellent safety tips for earthquakes. My heart goes out to all those in Haiti struggling to recover from this disaster.

    @Narelle: Can you jump straight to “Going Under”? Well, there is at least one important new character introduced in “Selling Out” and she does fill in some details about Alfheim and the origin of the shadowkin/dark elves in that book as well. But I think you could probably read “Going Under” first without too much confusion. But you definitely need to read “Going Under” before you read “Chasing the Dragon.” I’ve enjoyed all of the books, but I still miss Dar. 🙁 There were a lot of unanswered questions about the elves and Alfheim in my mind at the end of the first book, “Keeping it Real,” and I was sort of hoping she would continue with the story there, but she has moved the action to Demonia, Otopia (earth) and Faery instead.

  24. How many zpms would destiny need right now to gate back to earth?
    In James Swallows novel of “Air” Dr.Rush said 100 zpms would not be enough but Mckay and Sam are wracking their brains trying to come up with a plan to save them oh did they come up with the plan in “Earth” or was that somebody elses plan? I think Mckay came up with that plan maybe?
    Im really starting to get into SGU now and i even found on a fanmade stargate dialer it sometimes dials 9 chevrons and i imagine i can send the malp,sgc teams,and even uavs to destiny.Sometimes dialing atlantis it dials 9 cheverons and i go from there.

  25. I’m confused….why didn’t you walk around the front & open the garage door, or did you leave the remote in the car or something…you need to have a failsafe.

    Ashleigh boots – um, you’ve got flooding in your offices? I think the Fashion Police would have something to say…its at least a misdemeanor.

    I just want to clear up that at 8:15PM tonight (3:15PM for me) I was online here in Melbourne. You can check my tweets. Plus I don’t know where you live & I’m not very stealthy.

    Cheers, Chev

    p.s. Questions:

    1. Do Executive Producers have bigger chairs?
    2. Do you get anxious over handing in a script?
    3. When are you gonna have your weird drink night? Have you given up on it?
    4. Re Haiti: Would you take the photo or put the camera away & do search & rescue?

    The last one otros ojos & I were discussing on Twitter. I think it takes courage to take that shot and get the information to people to motivate them to help. I couldn’t do it…I’d help the immediate person in front of me.

    Cheers, Chev

  26. Hi is that snow on Ashleigh’s boots and if so how much did you get? Im in RDA land in Minnesota.
    Normally i would not ask this i would wait for the SGA movie but if i can ask how much power is left in the 3 zpms in Atlantis right now.Oh also if they are low will Atlantis get the Antartic ZPM or did that go to Apollo?
    Maybe the sgc can use the time machine puddle jumper to go back in time to Asuras hook up a asgard or wraith beamer and steal 300 zpms or as many as they can get to use to get to Destiny at least to send them supplies and inforcements oh and a asgard core so they can replicate new clothes and some food or a zpm or naquada generators.
    I have a idea for Stargate toys officially along with the action figures how about selling zpm toys i love those zpms and would love to get one,i have the small one with the mckay figures but want a full size one.Im sure they would sell well even in the current economy.

  27. @paloosa

    thanks for posting the earthquake info. My question is, where did Sophie the dog run to, and why didn’t the people follow her rather than head for the door?

    Another question, if you duck under your desk, don’t you risk being buried alive when the ceiling collapses? Wouldn’t it be better to get out of the building as fast as possible?

    I live in DC, and its very unlikely I’ll ever be in a quake. But then again, there was a very small quake near my mother’s farmland in southeastern Nebraska a few weeks ago. I guess you never know!

    My heart also goes out to the poor folks in Haiti, searching for their families. Uplifting them in prayer.

  28. Coucou 🙂

    Vous allez bien?? Ohh j’ai appris pour votre maman! J’espere qu’elle va vite aller mieux et qu’elle ne va pas trop souffrir de sa hanche.

    Enfermé seul dans le garage O_O ..sa me ferai un peu paniqué, sauf si je suis avec vous =P

    Quoi?? vous avez une alarme dans votre maison? sa doit être un palace^^! ….c’est incroyable en amérique à quel point les gens ont peurs les uns des autres. Moi je suis tranquille car chez moi il n’y a personne. Le peu de voleur ici ne vol que les personnes agés ou les cave à vin, je suis pas concerné^^!

    Bonne journée!

  29. 8:15 – 22 minutes after the Haitian quake? Could the waves travel like that? I guess the garbage truck would set off your alarm, too, if that little input could cause that.

  30. Hey Joe.

    I have a question.

    I know you guys have a list of extras but do you also have a list of the names of the people the extras play, or at least the military bacause I know they have nametags on their uniforms.

    Just wondering cause we have a thread a gw trying to figure out the names of all on the destiny, so I was wondering if you could sneak us a name or to of the regular extras. Cause there are some extras I see all the time but I can’t quite read the nametags.

    Thanks so much,
    Major D. Davis

  31. Morning Joe! I’m watching the original “Children of the Gods” and as much as I ended up loving Samantha Carter, I would love to kick her ass in this episode 😉

    To all the animal lovers here: Inasmuch as the situation in Haiti is horrific for the people there, please remember the animals by donating what you can to animal charities that will be going in to help! I’ve seen firsthand what happens to animals in these situations, and it aint pretty.

  32. Hey! Mom has been having trouble with the whatchamacallaslideythingiethatclicksintotheslot on her vestibule door ever since you left! Coincidence? I can’t seem to fix it… do I have to change the whole knobthingie too or can the whatchamacallaslideythingiethatclicksintotheslot sold separately?

    Also wondering… during your search of the premises, were you wielding the butcher knife like you used to when doing similar searches back home?

    So, this got me thinking about the time I came home to find the fridge door wide open. Thinking you were hiding somewhere in the house, ready to pounce out at me in revenge for the crawl space scare. I searched everywhere for you, until of course, the phone rang… it was you, calling from a friend’s house. I guess you must have been grabbing a snack when you were suddenly sidetracked by something (a phone call, the doorbell, an idea for a script, or perhaps your paranoia induced irregular heart-beat). Mom did always call you the “Absent-Minded Professor”.

  33. @noelm

    When a big quake hits, you have 0 seconds to go anywhere. Moving around will only get you hurt – imagine trying to stand on the back of a bucking horse. You wait until the shaking stops, then get the heck out. The biggest quake I was ever in – 1994 Northridge, aka the “big enough” one – I was literally tossed out of bed. Woke up flying through the air, hit the floor, crawled to the doorway, and held on, ducked down in the classic duck & cover position. It would have been impossible to walk – not to mention I was surrounded by falling furniture and the sound of the entire contents of my kitchen cabinets hitting the floor and smashing to smithereens. There was inches deep of broken glass all over the floor between me and the front door. Once the shaking stopped, I got on my glasses, put on my sturdy shoes which live beneath my bed for just that reason, put on pants and a jacket and then got out.

    @paloosa – yeah, I know the door is not optimal, but I was in a bedroom – no desk, no table to go under, so it was the best available. Thanks for the good info on the P & S waves. If you watch that video of Sophie the Dog really carefully, and look at the hanging light right above the “0” in 2010 on the date stamp, you can see a slight movement of that light, then she looks down, and then she books. At the very end of the video is someone I think is the smartest person in that office – she waited until the shaking stopped, then it looks like she grabbed her purse, her jacket, and then left calmly. It’s all fine and good to evacuate the building but if you leave your car keys and coat behind — well you might not be allowed back in the building, even if it looks undamaged, and you might have a long, cold walk home.

    Hey, Mr M: what does Carl think about our new head coach & the return of the legendary Coach “O”? I’m a happy Trojan!

  34. Hi Joe,

    The same thing happened me, only I was locked into my room, no fire escape, no knife. The handle would turn alright, but the latch wouldn’t budge. It was so frustrating and, frankly, quite frightening.

    It turned out that the mechanism inside the door which co-ordinated the handle and the latch had broken. We managed to get it open eventually (after about ten minutes of persistently trying the handle, it suddenly worked, and just as suddenly stopped working again), and we had to get it replaced.


  35. Hi Joe,

    Two quick questions, I hope you can spare two quick answers. 🙂

    1. Are we going to see any more of what has come to be known as “Stargate humor” in SGU?

    (My personal interpretation of Stargate humor is that closer to Stargate SG-1.)

    2. Which episodes in the remainder of SGU’s first season might we expect some of that Stargate humor?

    (It’d be a real treat even if it’s just a teeny tiny bit of the humor, a “slightly ‘lighter’ SGU” would feel perfect, as the current degree of “darkness” feels just slightly overdone.)

    Thank you for your time!

  36. just got news from from uncle in New York who spoke with my uncle in New Jersey who was toll by my uncle in Florida ( my mom’s brother) that he received news via cell phone of my familly in Haïti about 2 hours ago.
    I guess everyone was very lucky on my mother’s side, since everyone is fine. No new from people on my father’s side since he’s been dead for the past 3 years and he was my only link with his family.
    Half their house is demolish and the store is no more.. but they’ll be fine, these are details. I’ve got my Great grand aunt and uncle that leave there with their children, grand-children, and grand-grand children. I don’t know the details on how they survived the earthquake….. I’m just very excited. Need to call mom to tell her.

  37. @Gilder re: “Apparently you’re new to the blog. Joe has failed to post only once since moving to WordPress (?maybe longer?)”
    nope, not new….

  38. @Shaggygirl
    re :“Fondy doesn’t live here anymore.” huh? do you mean she’s on holidays or did I miss something?”
    yep! you missed something. It’s the december 28 or 29 blog entry. The one just a few days before those ugly pictures of me got posted on the blog. Ugly or not, it didn’t stop me from telling all my friends about it : mrgreen:

  39. “during your search of the premises, were you wielding the butcher knife like you used to when doing similar searches back home?”
    “Absent-Minded Professor”.
    Pardon me for laughing uncontrollably 😆

  40. Two works out a day? I do that about three days a week but they are fun workouts (swimming and karate). Regular work outs can be boring.
    Mid-Feb is when the YMCA settles down. I think that is when most people get tired of their NY resolutions and get back to their normal couch potato life. Give yourself a break and Don’t overdo things! You’ll get burned out. Although, I don’t ever think you will be a couch potato.

    Eric.Stewart: Prayers going to Haiti!

    Das: I hope you feel better soon. I used to let depression get me but something happened that changed my view of life. My best friend dropped dead (blood clot) right after our 40th birthdays (our b-days were very close). We had been friends since I was 15. It made me realize that I may have 50 years or weeks/months/hours. I thought we would grow old together. We plan and God laughs. On a side note, her husband starting dating a month after she died; to a woman with the same name! Anyway, you may not want them but Happy Rays are going your way!

    I like Ashleigh’s boots. Very practical! I bet her feet stay dry.

    Sorry about your morning.

    It’s up to 52F today!

  41. @ Sis – I. Love. You. (in a totally non-creepy-any-dirt-we-can-get-on-Joey-is-good-dirt kinda way 😀 )

    Now I have this great mental image of Joe creeping around the house like Anthony Perkins in Psycho! 😆 HA!!! I can ‘see’ him in a granny wig now! :mrgreen:

    Anyhoo – about the whatchamacallaslideythingiethatclicksintotheslot…

    Depends on the make, and how mechanically inclined you are. Sometimes just spraying the sucker with WD40 can do the trick. If something is broken inside, and if you can replace a knob yourself, sometimes it’s just cheaper to buy the whole thing and do it yourself instead of hiring someone to do it (though you would have to change your keys if it’s a keyed knob…blah, blah, blah). Or it might be sticking if the door is sagging, etc., due to weather/humidity/use. Without seeing it it’s hard to say.

    Take a picture of it, post it, and maybe Mr. Das can tell you what to do.

    @ Eric.Stewart – I did not realize your family is from Haiti! Triple hugs to you! {{{hugs}}} Glad so far your relatives are okay – it’s just such a terrible mess down there right now, I’m sure it will take quite a while for people to get in touch with their loved ones. Hang in there!


  42. @ Paloosa
    Great 411, thanks! I’m in eastern Ontario… a seismic hotbed for really minor tremors. In fact, there’s this tiny tiny faultline just down the road… Whenever there’s a big quake [6+] in the Canadian Shield over on the Quebec side, they’ll end up being those rollers and feel like a 2.5 to 4 around here. I remember the last big one a couple of decades ago [was about a 4.2 when it got here], I was sitting on a sofa in the basement [we’re right on shale bedrock], and I could hear it before I felt it. And it was as if I was sitting over a subway tunnel and a train had just gone by underneath me… And then there was the little lift and drop quake that epi’d about 40 miles south of here a couple of years ago. Felt like my corner of the basement had been lifted and dropped hard a few inches. Thought for sure that there may have been an underground gasline explosion or something nearby!

    BTW, when animals sense a quake coming, isn’t that the EMP they pick up on…?

    And New Madrid… Ohhh, yeah! That’s like Yellow Stone *just* waiting to happen!! Seriously hope I never live long enough to see that one!!

    Meanwhile, after the Haitian quake happening, expect that volcano on Monserrat [sp?] to rumble or perhaps the one in the Azores within the next couple of weeks… Worse yet, isn’t there a new one in the Mexico City area? Whatever, chances are *some* volcano within 2000 miles of Haiti will likely start popping within the month…. At least, that’s *my* prediction.

    Oh, hey Joe! Tell Ash, *wicked* footwear!! And if she wants, I could probably do her up a cool scarf to match…

  43. Every time you re-post this, a puppy with parvo miraculously recovers.

    I know because a 6 yr. old who has cancer transcribes poetry by angels from the future. They said, unfortunately, 96.eleventy% of people are too heartless to re-post this.

    Seriously, though, do not post this on Facebook if any of your aunts has recently posted something that includes the prophetic words “X% of people will not re-post this.” The world needs dreamers more than it needs you bursting bubbles … even if it means a puppy has to die.

    Yeah, it’s really me, DP. I had to get this out of my system in a place where the people are too cynical to have any bubbles left to burst.

  44. Hi Joe,

    Been catching up with the blog as I have been traveling. Hope you get the garage door fixed and that Ashleigh’s boots don’t scare anyone.

    I liked Diving into the Wreck alot. You summed it up very well – as usual. I didn’t get thrown too much by the abrupt change in Part 2. It actually made me pay more attention to the story.

    I have questions for the author below. Thanks once again for giving us this opportunity.


    For: Kristine Kathryn Rusch

    I really enjoyed this story and hope there is a sequel that answers some questions left unanswered at the end of the book.

    1. You seem to combine adventure, mystery and scifi in a natural way. I have read that you write romance and mystery novels as well. How do you approach each of these genres differently or do you approach them the same way?

    2. I read in a couple of interviews that you write stories out of order. How did this story evolve?

    3. I liked the first person, present tense and compact writing style you chose for this story. Is this a general approach you use for many of your pieces or was this a very specific choice for this story?

    4. Boss is a great character who prizes her freedom and self reliance above everything else. It seems that events in her past gave her no choice but to become completely self reliant. I also like the fact that she is interested in historic ship wrecks and values their historic importance. She is fearless when it comes to diving these wrecks but is haunted by and reticent to deal with her own personal history. Is this ironic interest in the history of these ships a way to avoid her own personal history?

    5. I liked the fact that the story worked on a couple of levels. As Boss starts the Room of the Lost Souls job, she is also unwittingly set on a collision course with her own past involving her father. So, is the story also a metaphor for her reluctance to deal with her own troubled past? If so, is she in fact also a “wreck”?

    6. I didn’t like seeing Karl killed off.   Did you have second thoughts about “offing” such a great character?

    7. I’ve read that you sold another novella in this series to Asimov’s – do you answer the questions left at the end of this story in that one?

  45. Congrats about the move to Exec Producer.
    Apparently I liked you before I even knew who you were! My kids loved “The Busy World of Richard Scarry” and I was one of the ones who actually watched “The Lost World.” Always thought it was cleverly written.

    Joe, you don’t need to drink to be charming; we think you’re most charming when you’re being evil. Not sure drinking makes one charming, but it makes others seem more charming.

    You could have opened the garage door with the auto opener. But I understand that you probably just couldn’t resist the chance to just “MacGyver” it. 😉 But, please be careful, we want your hands to stay safe. And you are developing a history with knives.

    Also laughing uncontrollably at Sis’ revelations. I also have one of those who tells all my embarrassing moments to people. Sisters are very good for keeping us humble.

    Since we moved into this house, weird things have always happened with the alarm, starting the first night. We had to sleep in the guest bed, which has a door that opens to outside. In the middle of the night, hubby wakes me and says, “Why is the door open?” The door was wide open, and the wind was howling, just like a scene from a “B” horror movie. I know you wanted to know that. 😀

  46. I don’t know about drinking making me more charming, but it does make me really, really good at darts. Alcohol + throwing sharp objects = WIN.


  47. Watch out for burglars Joe, this story appeared in our local news today. Some sick freakin’ people out there:

    BOULDER, Colo. — A burglar, who entered an unlocked apartment early Tuesday, beheaded a Betta fish and stole $10 before the victim saw him and ordered him to leave.

  48. I’m pretty sure Joe has never missed a single day of blogging; not officially anyway. There were those 3 or 4 days that Blogger locked him out of his blog, though.

    Speaking of Joe, CONGRATULATIONS!!! on getting promoted to Executive Producer! You tried to get out by becoming a Consulting producer, but they just kept pull you back in. 😀

    Thanks for the advice, Paloosa! I’ll definitely need it when The Big One hits (since I live in the Pacific Northwest).

  49. Great news Eric.Stewart about your family…hope your Dad’s family is safe as well.


  50. Ok, this seemed obvious to me, but here goes:

    Unless Joe has a keypad on the outside of his detached garage to type in the code to open the automatic garage door, he would be unable to use the GDO. Because it is in the car. Inside the garage. Behind the door which he couldn’t open.

    Sigh. Feeling better now, must be a snarky day.


  51. Joe – Your present has just arrived!!!

    I love it….I want it for myself 😀

    I’ll send it on & hopefully you’ll receive it soon. I know you’re gonna freak out…

    Cheers, Chev

  52. @Eric.Stewart – I’m glad to hear you know a good portion of your family is safe.

    The pictures were pretty.

    Oh, and, since they were posted just after the news and the blog title said something about a soon to be Mr. Buddy, on first glance, I thought Joe was introducing his new fiance.

  53. @Joe – Okay. I understand. I’ll just have to watch Extinction to see what happens, if it gets made (*fingers crossed*). I just want to clarify one thing about my previous post. I don’t want lots of drama/romance in Extinction. But, I do think that you can have a love story inside of an action/sci-fi movie (preferably a Teyla/John love story). Many of the best action/sci-fi movies usually do, in my opinion. It all comes down to how it’s done. And whatever you decide to do, I’m sure it will turn out well. Mostly, I just hope to see a good Atlantis film. I hope you all get to make it. Good luck.

    Thanks again,


  54. Diving into the Wreck- I did enjoy the book, diving and space, a good combo for sure. thank you for taking time to answer questions here. Was Boss never supposed to have a last name or maybe I missed it.. I think thru the whole book I was thinking/hoping her mother was still alive and somehow suspended in time. What was the significance of the sounds associated with the stealth tech only a few could hear.?
    thanks Joe. and glad you were not locked IN and couldn’t get out, oh the helpless feeling there…

  55. Congrats on you and Paul becoming Ex-Producers. You deserve it.

    Okay my question. There has been an uproar over at GateWorld about Brian pulling out of Chevron and the reason that he gave. I agree with him. And applaud him for not wanting to deal with fans that are going to put down SGU and it’s amazing cast and crew.

    As it is. The last time I was a get together with my Stargate Meet-up group and other SCI-FI groups (BSG, FireFly, Star Trek, etc). I happened to mention your name, and several of my fellow Stargaters decided they were going to insult you. Which I think is down right rude and uncalled for.

    Keep up the great work, that you and the rest of the SGU family does. And can’t wait to see the rest of Season 1 and of course can’t wait to enjoy Season 2 and beyond.

  56. @ Tammy Dixon and Das, DP. Thanks!
    @chevron7, I’m hoping to get good news soon. The daughter of my father’s only cousin here, plans to go to Haïti in the next few days. She is in the army reserve.

    My family in Haïti were at work when the earthquake started. My great aunt and uncle, my uncles and aunt, and some of my cousins. They had a chain of car repair shops in the capital. Contrary to what I was told initially, when they felt the quake, they got out and watched the store they were in, fall down. The youngest of my relatives where vacationing in the Dominican Republic when it happened.

    Some other people I know were less lucky. One of my mom’s best friend has no new from her mother who’s been vacationing there for the past month. Another was a relative of the bishop who died in the cathedral.
    The family of my mother’s husband is OK.

    It’s just sad to see on the news all those people dead in the street and other caught under pile of ciments. The capital was the area with the best constructions in the country. I’m not sure if the country will ever recover from that disaster. How will they ever rebuilt buildings and houses… Plus all the sanitary risks for those who are alive. There’s not electricity at the moment, food and water must be a big issue at this point.

  57. @DP
    “The pictures were pretty.” Thanks, you make me feel better about them.
    but re: “… since they were posted just after the news and the blog title said something about a soon to be Mr. Buddy, on first glance, I thought Joe was introducing his new fiance.”
    😳 It reminds something about that “picture taking session.”
    When he showed me the pictures, shortly after taking them, I had a bad comment about myself for ever single one of them….thing is that I’m like that ever time a picture of me is taken. It’s a good thing he only took 3.

    For the first one (posted), he asked me if I liked it, I said “not bad”. When he showed me the second one I said” oh gosh! I look like I’m doing a Mariah Carey there” and he replied “GOOD”…. and quickly put his camera away before I had the time to propose deleting them.

  58. Whenever I see someone wearing those huge styled rubber boots (if they’re still made of rubber), it makes me think they’re planning to tramp out back to the farm… but wait, most people don’t have farms in their backyards anymore… do they? *looking out window at jungle in backyard*

    There’s something in my house that smells like rotten eggs, but I can’t figure out what is causing the smell! Seriously, I think I’ve looked everywhere, cleaned out everything… sigh.

    At least you were locked out of the garage and could still get in and out of the house. Try getting locked in the toilet where the locks of both doors (yes, 2 doors) jammmed themselves. Very exasperating, especially when everyone else in the house thinks you’re just taking your time and tells you to just hurry up in there. Not amusing.
    There’s also that time my sister locked me in the car and I couldn’t get out any of the doors (I don’t know why); or the time… nevermind. everyone has stories of getting locked out of their house.

    Also, I can’t find my copy of Diving into the Wreck. Maybe the alien that smells like rotten eggs ate it.

    Now that I’m about to cook dinner, I won’t be surprised if someone (like the alien) has stolen the steaks.

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