That’s right!  Only four more days until the SGU premiere!  And, as we count down toward Friday night, we have not one but two big cast Q&A’s coming your way.   Buckle in!  We’re headed for the finish line!

Lou Diamond Phillips - SGU's Colonel David Telford (photo courtesy and copyright MGM Television)
Lou Diamond Phillips - SGU's Colonel David Telford (photo courtesy and copyright MGM Television)

Hey, you know who’s on Stargate: Universe?  Lou Diamond Phillips!  Oh, you aready knew that? Well, I bet you didn’t know that Lou is a major foodie.  Oh, you knew that as well?  What gave it away?  The fact that fully 90% of his twitter posts ( revolve around food, its preparation and consumption?

Colonel Telford (Lou Diamond Phillips) - photo courtesy and copyright MGM Television
Colonel Telford (Lou Diamond Phillips) - photo courtesy and copyright MGM Television

Then, did you know he’s a terrific actor?   Okay, that much is obvious if you’ve seen any of his many, MANY movies (including my favorite: The Big Hit), but wait until you see him as SGU’s Colonel David Telford.  He takes “terrific” to a whole other level.  Lou is not only wonderful in those big, meaty emotionally draining scenes, but really excels at the smaller stuff – a look here, a reaction there – the subtle little additions to a performance that add subtext and hint at so much more.  He’s a master at delivering those nuanced instances that the average actors would simply ignore or fail to realize, the mark of a truly great performer.  AND top it off, he’s a wonderful guy – upbeat, relaxed and incredibly friendly.   Presumably a great cook to boot, but at present that’s just a rumor – that could be easily confirmed if he was to bring one of his culinary creations to work one day.  Like, say, sometime next week when I’m on set.  Something spicy for instance.  Just saying.

SGU's Colonel Telford, ready for action (photo courtesy and copyright MGM Television)
SGU's Colonel Telford, ready for action (photo courtesy and copyright MGM Television)

Hey, check out Curt Wagner’s “outta this world” review of Stargate: Universe at (  Then continue to check back over the course of this week for character details on the Destiny crew.  Oh, and while you’re there, post a comment.  It’s more than likely Curt will respond.


Deni writes: “Lulu looks like she’s just about had enough of her “youthful enthusiasm”! Does she ever put Brie in her place?”

Answer: Nope.  Lulu is surprisingly patient with Brie, putting up with her constant harassment and, occasionally, provoking it.

Debra writes: “…while I don’t think spanking makes kids stupid, I do think children who have parents who use spanking as a routine response have uneducated parents or bullies or lazy parents who don’t bother to bring their kids up better or have more creative less physically punitive responses.”

Answer: Like Nyquil mixed with apple juice, an oldie but a goodie.

Juralas writes: “When do the Kino webisodes begin? Will they begin with Air?”

Answer: Yes, I believe the kino segments will appear online around the time the show premieres.  Ivon Bartok, incidentally, will be shooting another round tomorrow morning.

Pilota writes: “Any plans to visit LA again?”

Answer: Alas, not in the near future.  We wrap season one in October, spin stories for season two (ever hopeful we’ll get that pick-up) in November, then I’m off to Tokyo for two weeks followed by Montreal.  In early January, we are back in the office – reading scripts, providing notes, and spinning more stories.  I will have two weeks off when the Olympic circus rolls into town however.  Maybe then.

DP writes: “Are they pugs or French bulldogs?”

Answer: The scrappers are French bulldogs.  The peaceful onlookers are pugs.

Sparrow_hawk writes: “Kids who are spanked have a lower IQ than kids who aren’t? They may have left out researching an important variable. Did they check the parent’s IQs as well?”

Answer: This was Fondy’s point.

Sprinkles writes: “Also Joe I noticed on IMBD for Michael Shanks and RDA that they in an additional episode of SGU : Subversion, knowing how unrealiable that site can be any chance of confirmation from your good self?”

Answer: I can neither confirm nor deny the rumor.  However, if I were to confirm (which I’m not), I’d say Michael was on location today and in excellent spirits following his several weeks of shooting in Tasmania.

Janet writes: “BTW – who is the baby pram for?”

Answer: Believe it or not, Fondy picked it up for Jelly.  The old gal’s hips are so bad that walking long distances are a chore so, in the event we want to take the pack out for a lengthy stroll, she can come along for the ride.

Andria writes: “I too wondered what could possibly be in those huge boxes… new props for your Halloween decorations? Are you taking after your little sis and decorating this year?”

Answer: Yes, I’m decorating the house with boxed planters.  You like?

PG15 writes: “Hey Joe, what do you think about the Seinfeld “reunion” that’s happening on Curb Your Enthusiasm?”

Answer: Looking forward to it.

Ponytail writes: “In that video is that a doggie pee pee pad? I’m trying to get my puppy trained to use them, but its hit or miss and she keeps tearing up new ones. Got any advice, dog man?”

Answer: Sorry, I’m the wrong guy to ask.  It’s fifty-fifty whether Brie actually uses them for pee purposes or simply chews them to bits.

StellaByStargate writes: “And speaking of food…will Mr. Waring be continuing his pineapple tradition in SGU or are they too un-alien for the Universe universe?”

Answer: I haven’t asked Will, but I think it’s unlikely the tradition will continue.

Angelus writes: “What would you recommend, Watch the SGU premiere next week or wait an extra week and watch all 3 parts of SGU’s “Air” in one row?”

Answer: Definitely watch it when it airs, then download from iTunes and watch again.

Lcshepp writes: “ Will the ATA gene be a factor in SGU?”

Answer: At present, it does not factor in.

Airelle writes: “Is that an actual theatre downtown or is there one on your studio lot?”

Answer: Last year, we watched the two SG-1 movie premieres at a downtown theater.  This past weekend, we went to another theater to watch the SGU premiere.  Next weekend, I’m inviting everyone down to my basement home theater for Darkness and Light.

Anais33 a ecrit: “Verra t’on Sam en Brune dans sgu?”

Response: Non.

Translation: The character of Sam Carter will not be a brunette in her SGU appearance.

Dave D. writes: “Seriously? No Hell’s Kitchen?”

Answer: No, it’s on my list, but it’s not a show I HAVE to watch every week.  Those promises of “You won‘t believe what happens next!” lose their appeal after a while.  Like last week’s episode in which Gordon Ramsay did something he’d never done before on Hell’s Kitchen!  He…left and took a walk in the parking lot and then came back.  Unbelievable!!!

RandomQ’s writes: “Will SGU have any audio adventures?? […] Do you and the other producers have any involvment with these? If so, how much? And do you consider these as officially taking place within the TV franchise?”

Answer: I don’t know whether any have been planned.  The producers have no involvement in them and, like the tie-in novels, we don’t feel tied down to them creatively when we’re spinning stories.

Dodoalda writes: “Hi Joe, Can you bring us some photos with RDA? And what´s going on with David Blues Q and A?”

Answer: I should have both David and Brian’s Q&A’s before week’s end.

SnowDog1942 writes: “Hi Joe. I was wondering what your thoughts are on the current MGM financial situation in terms of the Stargate Franchise, specifically, more seasons of SGU.”

Answer:  Meh.  Just another in a long line of “the sky is falling” reports.  Hey, everyone is having a rough time given the economic downturn but the only factor that’s going to dictate whether or not we produce more seasons of Stargate: Universe are the fans.

Michelle writes: “I think you once mentioned Mad Men — have you stopped watching?”

Answer: It’s a wonderful, well-written show, but was never able to get over the surprise pregnancy in the first season finale.  I know it does happen, but it was such a departure for an otherwise grounded show (and intelligence character) that I had a hard time swallowing the possibility that a) she didn’t realize she was pregnant and b) didn’t realize she was in labor!

AscendedTauri writes: “Is there an e-mail address I could send a picture of it to you?”

Vvv0472 writes: “Have you ever seen True Blood?”

Answer: I watched the first three episodes.

Becca writes: “Just finished watching 1969, and remembered something that has been bugging me since the first time I saw it. Did you all ever revisit the character “Michael” who was about to get shipped out to Vietnam? Curious about what happened with him.”

Answer: Ha!  That was the very first question I asked Brad Wright when I joined the Stargate writing staff.  He didn’t have an answer.  I like to think Michael settled down somewhere in Canada where he lived happily ever after.

Teal’c_PI writes: “1. How exactly is your last name pronounced? I have three possible versions at the moment: ma-LOW-zi, ma-LOWT-zi, and ma-LOT-zi.
2. I’m attempting to write my first serious screenplay at the moment, and I’m having a bit of a problem with the ‘acts’ part. I’m almost certain that there are five acts in a 42-minute show, so how would those acts be notated, if they’re notated at all? Do you simply type up END OF ACT 1 at the end of the first 10 pages, or are the acts added in later, by way of the cutting process after it’s filmed?
3. I also have another screenplay question, one which could probably be answered elsewhere…but I’d rather ask you since you’re the authority. I usually just use Times New Roman in 12pt when I’m writing any sort of screenplay, short story, etc. but I think I read an answer to someone else’s question that mentioned Garamond, or something like that. So what font and font size are normally used for screenplays, or do they vary with the writers/shows?
4. Lastly, I have a somewhat desperate, last-ditch plea. I would love to send some fan letters to some of the actors and writers involved with Sanctuary, but unfortunately I’ve learned (through many, many fruitless searches) that they don’t work at a studio, so I have virtually no way to send any fan letters to them. Since you live and work in the same city as they do, do you have any information on where to send a letter?”

Answers: 1. The last one is correct.
2. One hour shows can have four or five acts.  And you guessed it – ACT ONE appears at the beginning of the first act and ends with END OF ACT ONE (whether it be at the ten page mark, earlier, or later).
3. Courier 12 pt.
4. Sorry, can’t help you there.  Might I suggest checking out their official sites.

Seahen writes: “Joe, as a UW grad can I just say I love whoever made Carl wear the Husky shirt?”

Answer: You can thank his brilliant daughter, a future UW grad.

Pol writes: “Ever had those, Joe? Bacon chocolate-chip cookies?”

Answer: I haven’t, but I’d certainly love to.  Hint, hint.

41 thoughts on “September 28, 2009: Only Four Days to the Stargate: Universe Premiere! Lou Diamond Philips! The Return of the Mailbag!

  1. I can’t tell you how excited I am to see Stargate return to television! Party!!!!!!!

  2. Sweet mailbag! It was quite lengthy! 😀

    Re baby pram for dogs: when she was little, my mother used to dress up her little dachshund in baby clothes and push him around the block. People would come over thinking she had her little sister, and instead see a puppy wearing doll clothes! I wish I had pictures of that!

  3. Another foodie? If it keeps up like that you folks wont be doing any filming, just hanging around the set cooking up new goodies. Speaking of which, I’ve added creme brulee to my list of attempted recipes. Actually not bad, though a long ways to go for professional level. And we’re getting ready to kick off a month of truly healthy eating at work, so looks like the ramikins will gather dust for awhile.
    Thanks for the mailbag, which is always a welcome part of this blog. What is going to be the next BotM club selection? Surely we have time to get one more in. I know with holidays and travel and season wrapups you’re busy, but I am sure you can squeeze one more Teeeeny project in….

  4. Speaking of Lou D Phillips, has anyone else seen NUMB3RS? I really enjoyed his character on that show. And I’ll never forget his contribution to some of my favorite lines:
    “Don’t worry, you’ve got the fourth best shot in the country watching your @ss.”
    “When did that happen?”
    “You don’t want to know.”

  5. Have you given NCIS a go? I love that show for the humor, the well-developed, quirky characters, the excellent stories and the acting is top-notch. It is certainly not the same ole police procedural such as law & order or CSI. unique. NCIS LA not so much. I was disappointed in that one, but taking your idea I will try it again.

  6. Rumour sez Carl’s daughter is an astrophys geek. Does “a future UW grad” mean “will graduate” or “just starting graduate school”? If rumour is right & she’s off to grad school, I highly recommend she check out phdcomics, go the local WISE chapter’s orientation events, and to visit to at least one professional conference (APS is always fun) before the end of her first term.

    …because astro girls look out for each other. 😉

  7. Hey Joe,

    I just read The Road in a single sitting (granted it’s one of the shortest books I’ve ever read) and thought it was excellent, if a little repetitive in the prose – I get it, there’s a lot of ash. I was wondering if you’ve read it and if so, what did you think?



  8. Not to annoy by defending a show you’ve bailed on (Mad Men), but I agree Betty’s surprise labor, like so many things on the show, was some over-the-top allegory. I liked it. Like the whole solar eclipse sub-plot this week. “Don’t look directly at it!” You missed one of the greatest lines ever, 2 weeks ago. An exec got his foot cut off by a lawn mower (long story). His boss (played by Charles Shaughnessy of Alec Colson fame!) deemed his career over: “Doctor says he’ll never golf again.” Lots to think about, and the set dec is lovely. 🙂

    Anywho, looking forward to Friday! I’ll be watching live on my Syfy HD channel, thankfully on east coast time. Let’s hope Comcast doesn’t do their usual crap job at delivering a continuous Syfy HD signal.

  9. To play devil’s advocate to my own input regarding spanking, about the more proactive, non-violent parents being on the creative side, I have three words for you:

    Bing Crosby, man.

  10. Alternatively, I coulda said “No wired hangers!”

    But having seen little of Joan Crawford’s work, I cannot vouch for her creativity, in good conscience.

  11. Wow – I didn’t know there were so many assumptions about parents who spanked! My father holds a masters (and is a ret. AF officer) and my mom (a science teacher) is working on hers… and they spanked me and my sister and now my sister has a math degree and mine is in Spanish (with plans for grad school)… my husband is working on his masters and then doctorate… and him and I spank… we really are uneducated (and lazy!).

    I think people have to be careful not to associate spanking with beating the snot out of your kid. A few well placed, controlled swats on the butt is very effective – my son is neither more aggressive than any other toddler his age, he’s not afraid of us, and in fact people comment about what a happy, well-behaved boy he is. There are always hugs and kisses afterwards to let him know we aren’t angry and that he’s loved. I get compliments on how calmly I deal with him – I don’t hold it in and then blow up. I’m patient with him, understanding his cognitive development, and I know when he understands and is being disobedient and when he’s just being a toddler.

    People are allowed to raise their kids any way they see fit, but perhaps we ought to save the assumptions of the “kind” of people who do “such things.” It’s like me saying that all those parents who don’t spank are the ones who have those out of control nightmare kids I see in the store all the time while their moms go “stop it, stop it, stop it, remember I said I’d take away…”

    Okay. I’m done with my soapbox (*sigh* I spend more time defending my parenting to people who just assume I’m an idiot).

    Looking forward to SGU this Friday… the forums have been abuzz 🙂 Thanks again for the behind the scenes!

  12. Ok, here’s a ratings question I don’t know if anyone really knows the answer to, but here goes: Is it better (for the show’s ratings) to watch the first airing or the second airing on the same night? Does it matter if you watch it time-delayed on DVR? Should you record it if you are watching it live anyway, or does that count against ratings?

    Does any of this matter if you are not a Nielsen family? Just wondering, because I have been reading dismal reports on many shows’ premieres having low ratings, and if those of us who want to keep shows on the air know how to help increase ratings…

    Also musing what kind of foods to have for SGU- watching party, in honor of Stargate food faves. Cake, pie, blue jello, froot loops, popcorn all come to mind. Any other suggestions?


  13. Oh, I forgot – Thornyrose, if you use raw cane sugar or demerara sugar on top of your creme brulee, you will get a better burnt sugar layer. And forget those crappy butane torches, go for propane, baby!

    Remembering the time I had to make 400 plus for a banquet…. shudder….


  14. Pol writes: “Ever had those, Joe? Bacon chocolate-chip cookies?”

    Answer: I haven’t, but I’d certainly love to. Hint, hint.


    Did you by chance get my message?

  15. Okay… can someone stop the planet? I wanna get off.

    Just spent over four hours in the E/R with Allie. She’s going to be ok but my GAWD it was NOT fun what that poor girl went through. I think what’s wrong with her would be TMI for the guys. And probably many of the women. Thankfully she has the *good* drugs (and is hilarious, I will say) and is managing the pain better.

    Anyway… Allie will be fine now after we follow up with a specialist. But tomorrow I get to take Erin in to see if she broke her finger. Um… seriously, who did I piss off? I am thinking all of Joe’s usual gremlins have found me.

    I’m going to try to sleep now. >.<


  16. Just a quick question for you. In the first two pictures of Lou (love them by the way) why is he wearing Young’s jacket not Telford’s? Was he supposed to be Young early on in production or did he borrow it from Justin Louis? Okay so that was two questions.

  17. Just wondering, do far every series the lead scientist have blown up or destroy a solar system. Does Rush blow up one in the first season of the SGU.

  18. In addition to his other roles, I really enjoyed Lou when he was a judge on Iron Chef America.

  19. Oops. I’ve been saying your name wrong. I’ve been pronouncing it “Throatwobbler Mangrove”. My bad. 😛


  20. Joe some times something good does come out of Chicago, that was a great review and Chicago might just get the Olympics (not) at the weekend.
    And try to keep the cold Canadian winds from coming down to Chicago i was cold this mopring i leave for work @5.30 am..


  21. Hi Joe, I think Fondy is absolutely the coolest dog mom anywhere for getting Jelly the stroller 🙂

  22. Getting so excited for Universe – can’t believe it’s finally almost here! Just another SG junkie waiting for a fix…

    Joe, I need to ask you a question. I know you’ve touched on it before – but I have to be certain…Universe is as “kid-safe” as SG-1 and Atlantis was, right? My children watched both with us – but this will be the first time I have allowed them to watch a show not pre-screened through the “mom-filter”. Just double checking 🙂

    Can’t wait!!! Thanks again.

  23. A stroller is a great idea! Thanks for the mailbag, too.

    Trish: I hope you have dr free days soon.

    On spanking; I think it has to do with your kid’s personality, also. My brothers were spanked and it did nothing for them. They laughed and got sneakier! They were terrors!!!
    My son has his computer privileges taken away and he is devastated!

    Das: Pain means illness for me. So hope you get well soon.


  24. Poor Jelly… this old gal also has bad hips, back, feet. I feel her pain. One hopes she will not be as embarrassed by the pram as I was by the rented wheelchair at the zoo.

    Two words: alien pineapples.

    @pol Would you be adverse to posting the recipe for the bacon cookies?

    Cold front moving in, we should have snow on the peaks by this time tomorrow.

  25. Bonjour Joseph!

    =P J-3 ^^!….j’y pense chaques jours et cela me rend joyeuse^^!

    Oui je sais qu’Amanda ne sera pas brune, je l’ai vu dans un trailer. Cela serai tellement génial, si on voyer Sam en brune dans une future saison de sgu!

    A bon? Lou apprécie beaucoup la nourriture? il doit bien aimer la France alors^^!!!

    Passez une bonne journée !
    Bisou Bisou.

  26. Just a comment on the “spanking” thing, I only frown on it from my own experience, many times my mom swatted when she should’ve just spoken, and I spent too much of my childhood resenting the physical punishment. So when I got to managing kids (mine and friends), a swat was a very very last resort, and only to get a kid’s attention not the actual punishment. The biggest thing that I discovered was that all kids are different, some need more discipline intervention than others. But none required humiliation. My mom, a teacher, governed from a “one size fits all” discipline that I totally disagreed with, but she never learned any other way, not even when she did fostering for 10 years. I actually feel somewhat guilty I never stood up to her methods on behalf of those kids.

    IMO Ramsay’s Hell’s Kitchen has gotten really silly. It’s pretty clear from the start who he favors for the job, and most of the screwups are obviously staged. The best show he has is The F-Word, I just finished the latest season and hope to see another.
    re Mad Men, I took a look out of curiosity, but even though it is well written and played, I have no desire to see a period piece its way too vivid from my childhood. Oh no, not white gloves! I’ll stick to watching food and scifi, thanks, where white gloves are more appropriate.

  27. Yup… Erin broke her finger. A splint for two weeks and no piano.

    Um… I will crawl under a rock now. *cries*

  28. If the rumour forthcoming SGU half season boxsets of 10 episodes each is true. Then low probability of me picking up the first season DVDs dwindled lower. Never consider getting BSG & Eureka (season 3 onward) DVDs once you work out the cost per DVD is about $10US each, higher still here in Canada even after adjusting for currency difference. Even though all North American DVD boxsets got sole-source manufacturers. This is gouging your fans.

    The early reaction on Gateworld is generally quite negative.

  29. All too modern Joe: Answer: Like Nyquil mixed with apple juice, an oldie but a goodie.

    Oh for crying out loud, not an OLDIE. You young whipper snapper. Whiskey and honey. “Don’t you have a cough dearie. Quit jumping on that bed, let me give you a little drink of something!” Nyquil indeed. Alcohol at $6 bucks for six ounces instead of for a gallon. Frugality I say!

  30. Ahhhhh…. je suis impatiente qu’SGU soit diffusé!

    …..C’est comme si, une personne de ma famille proche allait accoucher ou encore comme un deuxiéme Nöel dans l’année….

    C’est la 1er chose dont je pense le matin et ça me donne le sourir pour tout la journée=)

    Mais je pense que vous aussi vous devez être extrainement impatient^^!

    Bonne nuit,
    A demain.

  31. Love LDP…he is awesome. I will never forget his brilliance in Stand and Deliver. Thanks for the great pictures. But please say the show explains why, while his name is Col. Teleford, that his shirt says YOUNG? Confused.

  32. I have been watching the sy-fy channel and all the promos for SGU, Now thats what I’m talking about!!
    Bring it on! We like to move it, move it! (madascagar)(sorry) that music always gets me moving! Just as I am expecting SGU to deliver. Looking forward to the music on the show, Joel always excels.

  33. @Trish
    I’m hearing you! Maybe we should go and see Dee’s witch doctor neighbour?
    Tag team! You’re coming back from the docs and I’m heading to the vet. Ralph’s leg decided overnight it wants to do an impersonation of the limb of an elephant.
    Hope both Allie and Erin are healing.

  34. Narelle: Ouch for Ralph! Those bite wounds can be tricky. It’s like an injection of bacteria. Give him a hug for me. I saw his picture on your blog. He’s my kind of dog!

    Trish: you used up all your bad luck though, right? I hope so. Have a boring evening!


  35. Thank you very much for confirming what you would say if you were confirming something which you of course you are not 😀
    (and thanks for ignoring my appalling spelling and gramma! lol)

    My first memory of seeing Lou Diamond Phillips was Young Guns one of my favourite westerns 🙂

  36. @pastrygirl Joe may be somewhat limited in what he’s allowed to say about ratings, because the Nielsen company has rules about the producers of shows exerting undue influence on the viewers. For example, a few years back I was sent a Nielsen diary for a week and I emailed Joe Straczynski (creator of Babylon 5) to tell him that I planned to make sure to watch as much B5 that week. He was probably pleased, but had to remain strictly neutral when replying.

    Now, I’m not an expert on how ratings work, so I might have some of this wrong, but here’s my understanding.

    Technically, unless you are a Nielsen family (or a family being monitored by some other rating service), your viewing habits aren’t going to contribute to the ratings at all. Nielsen does do sampling, so the assumption is that somewhere else in your market is someone with the same demographic who will make the choice to watch SGU, and that way they’ll know that people like you watched the show. But if you’re not in touch with the Nielsen company at all, your viewership is unmeasured.

    If you’re using a DVR, the company that provides it might be tracking your viewership, but in general, unless you have given them permission to share your viewing habits with a ratings company, again your watching will go unmeasured.

    So what can you do to help out the show?

    1) If you happen to know a Nielsen family, convince them to watch the show. 🙂 (This is actually a bit insidious, and not what the Nielsen company wants you to do, but it would help.)

    2) If you watch on a DVR, it’s better to watch live – and let the commercials run in real time – just in case someone somewhere reports that info back.

    3) Take careful note of the sponsors, the advertisers on the show, and after the show, send each of them a POLITE, THOUGHTFUL letter thanking them for their sponsorship. If you use their products, say so; if not, don’t say so.

    4) A letter to the Sci Fi (I mean Syfy) Channel will probably not help. You could send them a letter thanking them for the new Stargate show, but my understanding is that networks no longer pay as close attention to write-in campaigns as they once did.

    I hope that helps.

  37. Thanks for the reply to my comment. And pass my thanks on to Carl’s daughter (and a GO DAWGS!). 🙂

  38. Shirley Temple was once spanked by her mother for shooting Eleanore Roosevelt in the butt with a slingshot. She had a 155 IQ and was Ambassador to Czechoslovakia during its bloodless Velvet Revolution. Spanking does not cause people to be stupid or violent. It really shouldn’t be a surprise however that kids who are stupid and violent are statistically more likely to get spanked a lot. People who get sent to prison are also more likely to be stupid and violent. Sending stupid violent criminals to prison is not what causes them to be stupid and violent however. The people who do these fanatical anti-spanking studies are in fact probably themselves the main cause of statistical links between spanking and dysfunctional behavior by telling kids who get spanked their parents are stupid or abusive
    which means what? Well, obviously they should ignore their stupid parents and only trust clever Eddie Haskel, right? Oh yeah, he’ll tell them how to keep of trouble.

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