Well, look who’s landed himself a job in the NFL. None other than convicted dog-killer Michael Vick. Let‘s hope he brings the same ball-hogging, stat-padding winning tradition he bestowed on Atlanta to his new home in Philadelphia. Yet another reason to not give a friar‘s fat ass about the Eagles this season. Please, understand. I‘m all for second chances. But just because he‘s done the time for the crime doesn‘t mean I have to start liking the guy. Or, more specifically, that I believe he is either a) truly rehabilitated or b) sincerely contrite. To refresh your memories, Vick was found guilty of running a dog-fighting operation in which he not only killed losing dogs and dogs no longer capable of fighting (electrocution, drowning, body-slamming being some of the preferred methods cited), but he apparently derived great amusement in placing household pets in with his pitbulls. Vick’s behavior shows all the earmarks of a psychopathic personality disorder. “The FBI has found that a history of cruelty to animals is one of the traits that regularly appears in its computer records of serial rapists and murderers, and the standard diagnostic and treatment manual for psychiatric and emotional disorders lists cruelty to animals a diagnostic criterion for conduct disorders” (“Clues to a Dark Nurturing Ground for One Serial Killer”, August 7, 1991, New York Times). I suspect that if serial killer and fellow admitted animal torturer Jeffrey Dahmer had the skills and was available, the Eagles would sign him up too. And Eagle fans would no doubt get behind him as well. Despite apologists for Vick like Whoopi Goldberg who excuses his actions as a “cultural thing” (Oh and, incidentally, so is bride burning by the way, Whoopi), I’m not buying it (especially from a morning show host who recently seemed to indicate sympathy for the requisite crackpot conspiracy theory that the moon landings were faked), and wish the Eagles organization nothing but the worst for the coming season.
But wait! There’s more! On the flipside of the debate are those shrill, spotlight-loving, self-promoting ass-hats from PETA. It was not too long ago that I would have supported these guys through donations to their organization but recent firsthand experience with the bullying and misleading tactics used by supposed “animal rights” activists (as well as their it’s so stupid it’s almost a parody press release decrying President Obama’s swatting of a fly on live television) has led me to pause and do a little research on these yahoos. Which led me to this interesting site (http://www.petakillsanimals.com/petasdirtysecret.cfm) that breaks down the number of animals PETA has euthanized over the years. Yes, sometimes sick animals leave us little choice, but in comparing the numbers, one is staggered by the fact that those purported animal-lovers at PETA euthanize a proportionally greater number of animals than the average shelter. Hypocrites? Well, decide for yourself. From the site: “As gossip bloggers and Hollywood journalists have noted, Pamela Anderson’s Dodge Viper (auctioned to benefit PETA) had a “luxurious leather interior”; Jenna Jameson was photographed fishing, slurping oysters, and wearing a leather jacket just weeks after launching an anti-leather campaign for PETA; Morrissey got an official “okay” from PETA after eating at a steakhouse; Dita von Teese has written about her love of furs and foie gras; Steve-O built a career out of abusing small animals on film; the officially “anti-fur” Eva Mendes often wears fur anyway; and Charlize Theron’s celebrated October 2007 Vogue cover shoot featured several suede garments. In 2008, “Baby Phat” designer Kimora Lee Simmons became a PETA spokesmodel despite working with fur and leather, after making a $20,000 donation to the animal rights group.”. And, if you haven’t seen it, check out this eye-opening video by Penn & Teller titled “The Naked Truth About PETA”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9ijLulwUTY. If you truly care about animals, you’ll have nothing to do with these jerks.