I’m off to dinner with Alan McCullough (formerly of Stargate, presently of Sanctuary) tonight so this will be a moderately early entry. When I get back, I plan to see how much headway I can make on the script. Last night, I hit the 28 page mark and things were coming along nicely – until I realized I’d forgotten to address a character. And then, upon closer scrutiny, two characters. Damn. Tonight, I re-read, readjust, and rewrite. The plan all along was to have half the script written by the I return the office on Monday (I’m already there). That way, I won’t feel so guilty about taking time out for a few other things like:

Watching The Orphanage: I was pleasantly surprised. Well, maybe not THAT surprised. If I was to draw up my list of favorite horror films, the majority would be foreign.

Finishing up The Speed of Dark: August’s book of the month club pick. And a terrific novel. I’ll be weighing in with my thoughts on Monday.

Sitting out back with the dogs: They love sun and company. But, of course, not as much as food and sleep.

Cooking: On today’s men – Slow roasted wild salmon with a chive beurre blanc sauce, squash salad with toasted pine nuts and feta, and garlic sautéed broccolini.

Waiting around all day for the locksmith to show: He never did.

Today, I leave you with the sneakiest of peeks at the offices of Homeworld Command.  Then, check out the mailbag.

Only peruse these pics if you've been given clearance by Homeworld Command
Only peruse these pics if you’ve been given clearance by Homeworld Command


They had to put the sign up because people kept thinking the place was still a bakery.
They had to put the sign up because people kept thinking the place was still a bakery.
Homeworld design
Homeworld design
The offices of Homeworld Command
The offices of Homeworld Command
Presumably the terrorists have called it a night as well.
Presumably the terrorists have called it a night as well.
We discovered this lone individual overseeing global security.
We discovered this lone individual overseeing global security.
Uh oh.
Uh oh.

The mailbag:

2cats writes: “Hey, what is the blog consensus regarding Jalapeño Poppers?”

Answer: I’m in the pro-Jalapeno popper camp. In fact, I’d go so far as to say I’m pro-Jalapeno in general.

LesFez writes: “1. Now that Gateworld has shown us the exterior of the Destiny, are you allowed to post some exterior stuff of your own, and concept art?

2. Also, how many pages do you aim to get your scripts to? I seem to remember you saying a while ago that one you wrote was at 52 pages, and that was a bit too long?”

Answers: 1. Unfortunately, I have no exterior shots of Destiny. I tried mounting a camera at the back of the ship but I’d lose it every time it jumped to FTL.

2. Great question. In the beginning, we were aiming for 55-ish – only the first few episodes were timing way too long. So we scaled it back to 46-ish – and that turned out to be too short. Now, I believe 52-ish is about right.

Caitlyanna writes: “Hey Joe, what’s the worst thing that ever happened to you on a trip?”

Answer: Off the top of my head – having a bad reaction to the snake soup served at the Hong Kong airport. It put a bit of a damper on the Tokyo leg of my trip.

Daniel Willis writes: “How did you record this? I thought it was a visual effect added later, by having a green screen behind the gate. This looks so real! Or has this video been edited to include the visual effects?”

Answer: Nope. That’s why it’s called a practical puddle. It’s not a visual effect – as in the show’s early seasons – but a practical one. What you see is actually an image being projected on a screen. Pretty impressive, no?

MAtthew486DX writes: “Me and a friend, possibly more, are interested in building full size replicas of the Milky Way and Pegasus Stargates.

1. Is this legal? Like, for example, would it be any infringement of copyrights to build our own full size Stargates, for, basically “the hell of it” and possibly fan videos?

2. This is a long shot I’m sure, but is there even the slightest hope of getting some assistance from TPTB, specifications, measurements, 3D models, anything at all, to aid in our efforts? We have theorized about making the Gates out of a number of materials as well, resin, wood, etc. Each seems to have their pros and cons. Any info, documents or insight on the matter would be greatly appreciated.

3. How much did it cost you guys to build each Stargate? Milky Way, Pegasus, Destiny?”

Answers: 1. I’m no lawyer, but I’m guessing that if you’re just building it for fun and not deriving any income from the product, you should be okay.

2. If I come across some gate designs with specifics, I’ll be sure to post them.

3. A lot. No, scratch that. A helluvalot.

Thornyrose writes: “Talking about spinning ideas for season two, and not to jinx anything, but at what point will you know for sure there IS a season two?”

Answer: No idea. Since we’re premiering October 2nd, I’m guessing we may have to wait as late as early 2010 to find out.

MajorSal writes: “a few weeks ago, my sister lost her beloved dog. i think she should get another (to help fill the void), like a pug or a little lulu (french bulldog?). i’d like to know if you have a bunch of pics or vids in one place i could show her of your bunch, to entice her?”

Answer: Head on over to my twitter page: http://twitter.com/JellMaxBubLu

Bridjess writes: “Saw that you read We3 recently and wondered what you thought of it…”

Answer: Loved it.

Quade1 writes: “ For example, The Shrine, they just happened to know of a place, then aside from all other cases the creature just decides to crawl out of McKay’s head, and he is magically unscathed, despite having a creature literally running around in his brain?”

Answer: Well, for starters, the creature was literally running around in his brain. It was immobile and growing in one area until affected by the radiation. The reason is “crawled out” in this, rather than any other cases, was as a result of the hole Keller drilled into McKay’s skull, relieving the pressure (created by the expanding creature) and allowing it the opportunity to move to a less constrictive environment and away from the radiation. As for the just happening to know of a place – if this parasite has affected many other inhabitants of the Pegasus Galaxy, then it would stand to reason that Ronon or Teyla would be acquainted with the “disease” and this place.

Quade1 writes: “uhm…..wormhole drive?”

Answer: That one, however, I’ll give you. We had discussed the prospect of a wormhole drive for some time, but never introduced it because we didn’t have a story-specific use for it – until we talked about using it for the movie. Rather than suddenly introduce it in the movie, thus making it feel convenient, we thought it would be better to set it up earlier. And we did – in Enemy at the Gate – but in an episode in which it proved instrumental to the story – and, thus, felt convenient. In hindsight and with a little more time, it would have been preferable to layer the idea in with passing references building up to its actual use in EatG.

Major D. Davis writes: “1. Have you seen any of the final Shiny VFX for SGU…. also how close is Air(first two parts) to being completed?

2. How long till SGU has some cool shirts and merch, cause when I was at the bridge I saw some cool “sexy” LOL SGU shirts(the crew were wearing them, they were a black shirt with the SGU logo printed on them). I just wondered when it will hit shelves cause I would die to get one of them.

3. Did the email to Mr. Bill work out?

4. Do you think we can have some pics from the set of the “puddle jumper on sterioids”. I believe that’s what you called it, and you said it was some type of shuttle.”

Answers: 1. Some very close-to-finals. They look terrific. Definitely Emmy-worthy, but what do I know.

2. No idea what the merchandising plans are.

3. I received it, yes, but don’t head back to work until next week.

4. I have pics of the shuttle and will eventually post them as well.

Tammy Dixon writes: “Does anyone know if the the new SG-1 DVD has nudity on it? “Children of the Gods”.

Answer: It doesn’t. It was a sore point with Brad for years and once he finally go the chance to lose it, he did.

DasNdanger writes: “1. Does Fondy prefer you in the office, or working from home?

2. Does Fondy read this blog?

3. Does your Mom read this blog? Your sister?

4. Will you ever share any of your baby pictures with us, or maybe something from your wayward teenage years?

5. What’s the most physically dangerous thing you’ve ever done?

6. Can you dance?

7. If you’re home and not feeling all that great, what’s your ‘comfort food’?

8. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever found in your refrigerator (as a kid or as an adult)?

9. Have you ever milked a cow and, if not, have you ever wanted to?

10. For hauling your junk around: Boxes or briefcases?”

Answer: 1. Depends on how much I’m annoying her on any given day.

2. Nope.

3. My sister reads it. My mother reads it when my sister directs her to something of interest. Like, say, snaps of her home cooking.

4. No plans to at present. Maybe once I’ve run out of stuff to post/talk about.

5. I’m not a danger junkie. You’d never catch me cliff diving or bungie jumping or gun-running in Central America. That said – “most physically dangerous”? Hmmm. I once stopped out onto a very high balcony.

6. If my life depended on it? No.

7. Chocolate. Ice cream. Nutella. Chocolate chip cookies and milk.

8. The worst thing I ever found was something in a piece of Tupperware I couldn’t even identify.

9. I have – as part of a school trip once.

10. Boxers with South Park prints.

Purp writes: “ Which are your top 5 NCAAF teams heading into the regular season?”

Answer: As in teams I’m rooting for or power ranking. In terms of power ranking: 5. Penn State, 4. Alabama, 3. Florida, 2. Texas, and 1. Oklahoma. In terms of the top 5 teams I’m rooting for (who actually have a shot): Texas, Texas Tech, TCU, Boise State, and Alabama.

Ytimyona writes: “Hmm, can you expand the discussion of freelancing versus full-time? It seems to me like either you have a greenlight to write a script (and hence, a full-time job) or you don’t (and then you’ve got NO job). But I’m sure there’s more to it than that.”

Answer: When I was freelancing from home, I was story-editing and writing scripts. Everything that needed doing could be done at home, sent via email, or discussed over the phone. When working full-time, I’m in the office spinning stories, writing, editing, casting, and, generally, hands-on producing.

Artdogspot writes: “I have to agree with Greg about The Usual Suspects. Did you leave that off your list for some reason?”

Answer: I guessed the twist from the moment he fumbled with the lighter. But that wasn’t why I left it off the list. Ultimately, it wasn’t a movie I enjoyed because, at the end of the day, those characters were screwed no matter what they did. They were mere pawns in a greater game beyond their control, hapless and hopeless.

DP writes: “Is the Destiny’s Gate Room in the same spot at the studio as the SGC’s Gate Room?”

Answer: Nope. The SGC gate room was in Stage 5. The Destiny is in Stage 4.

JYS writes: “Where did you get a real black truffle?”

Answer: Meinhardts.

Patricia Lee writes: “Maybe you will surprise us all with an OMG twist ending for the SGA movie!”

Answer: Yep. I pitched this twist out last year: Atlantis comes under attack by the united forces of the wraith. A grand battle ensues but, ultimately, the city is destroyed. At which point our characters awaken and discover that they are on the mist planet from season 1’s Home and never actually left. Surprised?!


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This question has been bugging me for a while now – why do you have to add pasta to the sauce and never the sauce to the pasta? I’ve always been told this. I’m wondering why. What the heck difference does it make?

Also, do you have to book a table at Fuel for a meal or would you be able to get a table ok on a spur of the moment thing?

Carl Binder
Carl Binder

What, no love for USC?


How long does it typically take to write a script for a 1 hour SG1, SGA or SGU?



Nice fat juicy mail bag. Thanks for taking the time to post. Give Mr. McCullough regards from a fan of his scripts. And Homeworld Command? what gives? is this something that will carry over from SGU to the SG1 and Atlantis movies? And just as a point of fact, I think SGU sort of sucks as an acronym for the show. Mainly because it’s also the acronym for another site and related blog. Ah well, guess I’ll have to pay attention to context to make sure I understand the right one.

Narelle from Aus

Off topic as usual Joe, but I’ve just had the most bizarre occurrence.

I was on the TripAdvisor website looking at some hotels. I decided to check out a couple of resorts I’ve been to in Thailand to see if they were still getting good reviews.

Went and looked at the photos of one of the places and someone post a photo of the beachside pool with one girl lazing on the water. That girl in the photo is me!


Homeworld Command sign = my new desktop wallpaper (such an oxymoron) at work. (At home I have the three new ‘main characters of each stargate series’ wallpapers from the mgm site, in rotation thanks to Windows 7.)
( Speaking of Windows, I noticed the Vista logos on the backs of the ‘Uh Oh’ photo. Uh oh indeed! I can’t belive that Homeworld Command would use monitors with the Vista logo on them. It sends the wrong image.)
(Hmm, way too much of this post is parenthetical, and this sentence seriously isn’t helping!)

otros ojos
otros ojos

The salmon, squash salad, and broccolini meal you described sounds very, very good, and reminds me that I need to start getting creative in the kitchen again. It would be a lot easier if Zach weren’t a picky eater; but noooo, apparently I need the challenge of coming up with something that he’ll eat, and which I can also modify to suit my variety-loving palate. Can’t really complain, though; as long as there’s enough meat, he’s good, and if I make bread or cookies it’s like I’m a goddess. (For as long as the stuff lasts.)

South Park boxers — oh, that’s just too cute. I’m wondering now if you wore out the Superhero series, or if they’re stashed away for future use. – My m.i.l. bought some Monopoly “Mr. Moneybags” boxers for my f.i.l.; she says he just harrumphed (and probably returned to reading the Wall Street Journal), but they’re now showing up in the laundry. Heh. (I’m not supposed to know about this. The m.i.l. and I have a great time together, and of course we talk about stuff like that; it’s just fun.)

Also fun: the pics, especially of Carl. The one right above him is great, too.


You fool! You foolish fool!! Do you have any idea what you’ve done?! That first Homeworld Command photo has the address of Homeworld Command on it! Now that part of Washington DC will be swarmed with Stargate fans trying to find Homeworld Command, further slowing down the pace of the US government at accomplishing anything whatsoever!!

Furthermore, the Homeworld Command logo doesn’t have New Zealand on it! Do you have any idea what this means?! I’ve seen a documentary on New Zealand, they have, like, thousands and thousands of horse riders and mutated mofos named Orcs and Uruk-Ai and Hobbits that will F you up!! Now you’ve gone and pissed them off! And don’t even get me started on their President, Sauron the Great. He may only be a big-ass eyeball, but he can still kick your ass! After that, the Flight of the Concords will make you laugh so hard your sides will split, and then you’d die. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?! HUH?! Even if you didn’t worry about your own safety, what about the safety of others on the production? I mean, I can accept if you get trampled by herds of Oliphants native to the South Island, but what about the hotness of Ashleigh? WHY MUST YOU PUT SUCH HOTNESS IN DANGER?! SHAME ON YOU.

And where the **** is Malta?!


If the renewal decision does indeed come in early 2010, how will that affect the writers’ spin sessions and story-breaking schedules for Season 2? As far as I can remember, you guys usually start in the November and December before the February when production starts; does that mean the beginning of principle photography might be pushed back?

Thanks! wink


Thanks for the pix [haha Carl… :)] and answering my question! Today’s mailbag was quite lengthy!

Re “forgetting to address a character”: Is this why (in a couple episodes) it sometimes feels like a character or two has nothing to do but stand around? Not that you guys are often guilty of this, but I can see how it would happen, on a show FULL of characters…

I’m really hoping someone will have video/pictures of the SGU panel tomorrow at Comic-Con!!!



Okay. Now, you’ve done it. You’ve written things in the past that have ticked me off (like that you like SG-1 better than SGA and you like SGU better than all of them) but now, you’ve gone too far.

You’re rooting for Texas Tech?? *spits*

Them’s fighting words, Mister. This is unforgivable. I wash my hands of you.

Most likely.



…so what your trying to say is that we will learn more and possibly see another wormhole drive jump in the movie?

Granted Keller drilled a hole in his head, which by the way, what is the purpose of a cordless drill on a highly advanced space shuttle with no screws in it?
And then of course it moved through his brain, again I will give you the fact that I am not a doctor, but I am pretty sure even slight bumps of your brain against the inside of your skull causes blackouts. Can’t imagine how much damage a creature crawling through your brain would do.
Then the magically moment that makes Ronan worth the whole episode, “your gonna need that gun soon”…Crap a 3cm creature that is trying to run away, kill it!!! How come they didn’t seem to mind exterminating that creature but are perplexed at the thought of destroying evil destructive robots killing hundreds of thousands of people, and even them on the odd occasion?

Hey any thoughts on a possible return of Ra? I mean it is scifi and we didn’t see him die…..


oh forgot, I picked up Children of the Gods Final Cut today. Have you seen it yet? comments? I will watch it this weekend hopefully sad


Hi Joe,
Oh, re surprise endings… I totally saw coming the one in The Sixth Sense and was amazed at the audience ooohs and ahhhs when they figured it out. I guess knowing there was a twist was enough that I started looking for it right away. That was a great list, btw.

Re the new cut of COTG, any chance Brad would be willing to do a q&a for those of us with really detailed questions, e.g., why he removed the shot of Jack reacting to Daniel’s good bye scene with the Abydonians? Although maybe Brad has sworn off q&a’s…


Thanks, Joe! I never figured you for a dairymaid! lol How was it??

10. Boxers with South Park prints.

Joe, Joe, Joe…that’s NOT what I asked. wink



I love that idea for a twist, but only for the initial shock value. Then I’d be disheartened since it basically retconned most all of the show.
Chocolate chip cookies, sounds good!!!


Don’t forget that last minute twist where we discover that Earth, the goa’uld, and the Atlantis expedition were all part of a daydream of the mist creatures. Mist creatures who are, themselves, the remaining essence of the millions of ascended Ancients whose glowy batteries have run down.

Or, wait, was that all a daydream of mine?


Joe wrote, “Finishing up The Speed of Dark: August’s book of the month club pick. And a terrific novel. I’ll be weighing in with my thoughts on Monday.”

Joe, Monday is July 27th. Don’t you mean in another week, August 3rd?


1. Hey, wait just a minute there! We have another week to read Speed of Dark. Our book reports are not due until the week of August 3rd!

2. I think das’s question was “boxes or briefcase” not “boxers or briefs” – but your answer was interesting. Close to TMI, but interesting.

Patricia Lee
Patricia Lee

You funny Mr. Mallozzi… Surprised… uh, not so much! But thanks for the effort!
I Love your blog, it is the only one that I’ve found which is sure to bring a smile every time! Cheers Mate!

Narelle from Aus

pg15 – I’m cleaning the water off my monitor from where I just sprayed it after reading your comment.
I get the feeling you’d be rather amusing to have around after a few beers and few games of pool.

Kathy H

“Yep. I pitched this twist out last year: Atlantis comes under attack by the united forces of the wraith. A grand battle ensues but, ultimately, the city is destroyed. At which point our characters awaken and discover that they are on the mist planet from season 1’s Home and never actually left. Surprised?!”

I laughed out loud at that one. I’m in the process of rewatching the entire series of Stargate Atlantis and writing spoilerific reviews of it on my blog Spilt Ink. (I just finished disc 4 of season 1.) “Home” is very fresh in my mind right now. It’s sort of the Bobby Ewing in the shower SGA episode.

Narelle from Aus

In defence of Joe here, I took das’s question as a play on words smile

Tim Gaffney
Tim Gaffney

Great news for all of you asking when there will be a SGU t-shirt. MGM store just sent me an email advertising the Comic Con SGU shirt:

It is a limited time item. They will not be taking sales after August 21st. It is $19.95 up to XL and $21.95 for XXL.


How easy is it to get an internship for SGU. Studying tcomm at BSU requires me to have one eventually and there would be nothing more I’d want in my life than to get one under the Stargate name.

You probably don’t read these & even if you do won’t respond to my question because you don’t have time or it’s not possible. BUT under the slim chance that it is possible, or you read this or something. Please email me. It would make my life.


I’m sure this has been asked and I missed it (I haven’t been able to follow the blog regularly for the last 18 months as I was completing my Masters degree, thank GOD I’m done…and I’m back to reading the blog daily!)… so if you could what’s the latest on the SGA movie and the next SG1 movie? I hope they are still going to be made. Thanks!