Thanks to all those of you who participated in yesterday’s “WTF? Guess the Prop and the Eppy” contest. Unfortunately, nobody scored the requisite 6/6 that would have beaten me and thereby forced me to give you my job on the show. Better luck next time. But for those of you wondering:
Prop #3: The canopic jar from The Curse.
Prop #2: The telchak device from Evolution I and II.
Prop #3: According to the label – and I frankly have a hard time believing it myself – it’s a part of the za’tarc detector from Divide and Conquer.
Hey, the other day, Carl reminded me about an infamous scene that I wrote into my first draft of The Ties That Bind. It answered the most popular fan question of all time. Not “Are Jack and Sam together?”. Not “Is Ford really dead?”. No, I’m talking about THE question: “How do you answer the call of nature if you’re stuck on a cargo ship?”. Now even though I did answer the question in a previous blog entry, I was able to locate my first draft of the script and, more importantly, the scene that didn‘t make the cut…
VFX – SPACE
A cargo ship hurtles through space.
INT. CARGO SHIP
Jup is at the controls. Suddenly, the console makes a chirping sound.
Jup checks the O.S. readings. Another chirp. He works the console.
The door behind him slides open to reveal Tenat pulling up his pants.
JUP: What took you?
TENAT: I was indisposed!
He buckles up and hits the controls by the door. As the rings activate O.S. behind him, he walks over to the controls.
JUP: We received a coded transmission by way of the guild…
Dasndanger writes: “Hey, Joe – for once we can agree on something…”
Answer: For once?
Laura writes: “Did you ever find your drinking buddy for the weird drink of the day video?”
Answer: Ivon, Lawren, and Carl have all expressed an interest in helping. It’s just a matter of picking the weekend.
Quade1 writes: “While talking Alan Moore, have you read and watched V For Vendetta??”
Answer: Haven’t read it but I did watch the first ten minutes.
Indigo Sapphire writes: “Funny you should mention that, Joe. I believe “I’m having a bad day” was once upon a time a perfectly valid excuse for bullshit actions with you.
When Cam Mitchell was “having a bad day” it meant he could do just about anything he wanted in Off the Grid. If it’s such a lousy line of reasoning why didn’t you tell the boys in the writers room that there must have been a gas leak addling their brains? Is this a new view you’ve suddenly adopted? Perhaps the Stargate world operates under a different set of principles?”
Answer: Lookit you go, you adorable little cranky-pants. You’re like that Tasmanian Devil from the Tiny Toons series. Alas, I have no idea what you’re referring to and what the fictional character of Cameron Mitchell could have done to have so deeply affected you that you still harbor such anger some five years after the fact. Did he attack someone near and dear to you in a drunken rage? Defraud you of your life savings? I’m sure it was something equally reprehensible. Do tell.
Rose writes: “ Any advice on switching over to WordPress?”
Answer: It’s incredibly easy. Just sign up and follow the easy instructions. The great thing about WordPress is that it has a feature that allows you to import past entries from other blog sources like blogspot and myspace. Simple.
PoorOldEdgarDerby writes: “By the way, would you prefer people just stop mentioning the name Joe Flanigan?”
Answer: Not at all. Readers can talk about whatever they like.
PG15 writes: “So, which episode may this be? Is Judgement episode 109, or 111?”
I’mNewHere writes: “I’m writing to ask if there’s any chance of a Q&A with Ben Browder.”
Answer: Like I said, I’d be more than happy to host a Q&A with Ben. I haven’t been in touch with him but I’ll certainly float the idea past him the next time our paths cross.
Anais33 a ecrit: “1) Quand allez vous revoir les acteurs de sga?
2) Combient de saison voudriez vous que dure sgu?
3) avez vous deja gouter les glaces de berthillon?”
Reponses: 1) Je ne sais pas. 2) Je voudrais qu’il dure au moins six saisons. 3) Non, mais il semble bon.
Translations: 1) Not sure when we’ll be welcoming back the SGA cast. 2) I’d love for SGU to go at least six seasons. 3) I’ve never tried Berthillon ice cream – but it looks good.
PG15 also writes: “Is Judgement Alan’s script that Paul is polishing…”
Duneknight writes: “why is everyone comparing watchmen to blade runner? they dont share anything in common save for the fact that they are both movies.”
Answer: Actually, the topic of discussions was “adaptations”. Both Blade Runner and Watchmen fall under this category.
Luis writes: “Might it be possible to get Pete to do a Fan Q.&A.???”
Answer: I’d certainly be happy to ask him when I see him next week.
Major D. Davis writes: “Are you almost done filming Air or is there still a way to go?”
Answer: We’re shooting all three parts. We’ve still got a ways to go yet.
Major D. Davis also writes: “Any ides for the season finale yet?”
Answer: Some, yes.
GateWorldUser writes: “Just a quick question, can you please tell me whether or not an Al’kesh could fit in either of the Hangar’s of a 304?”
Answer: It might be a tight squeeze.
Airelle writes: “Joe, do you know who made(where they bought) the candles used for SG1 and SGA.?”
Answer: No idea. Sorry.
VAN FAN writes: “Speaking of Joel Goldmsith…wasn’t he suppose to be sending you back his part of the Q & A?”
Answer: Soon. Soon.
Dasndanger also writes: “Joe, did you name her after Little Lulu??”
Answer: Nope. My wife named her Lulu because, well, she looks like a Lulu.
Jean writes: “So, you’ve probably long since moved on, but I was hoping you could tell us (me) what episodes these lines from your poem referred to:
The status quo shifts, a power play made.
The arrival of this one leave some feeling dismayed.”
Answer: It was a general reference to Woolsey coming in at the beginning of season 5 to take over command of the Atlantis expeditions.
Jean writes: “And this one:
Call the doctor from Earth to help us take action”
Answer: First Contact. A reference to Dr. Daniel Jackson.
46 thoughts on “March 7, 2009: How do you answer the call of nature if you’re stuck on a cargo ship?”
Looks like I got my comment in under the wire. Thanks for the answers!
[b]Call the doctor from Earth to help us take action”
Answer: First Contact. A reference to Dr. Daniel Jackson.[/b]
BUAHAHAHAHA that rhymes XD
For once we agree…Lulu looks like a Lulu! 😉
Can you please ask Joe F to do a Q&A.
On a topic completely unrelated to much of anything, I’m wondering what your reaction is going to be to the new reality dating show, The Cougar. I can hardly wait to read the snark that you come up with for this one!
Lookit you go, you adorable little cranky-pants.
I am so gonna use this phrase when next my boys chuck a sook. Guess you could change it to ‘crankypugs’ when referring to your little ones…
Since the infamous Atlantis toilet episode never happened, can we expect to see a similar story in SGU? (Season finale perhaps?)
Really? You really wrote a bathroom scene? Lol! Y’know when I requested more deleted scenes, that wasn’t what I anticipated… It’s a good thing that it got cut or people might start demanding that all the characters take bathroom breaks at regular intervals for the sake of continuity and realism, leading to a great deal too much information.
By the way, I just wanted to say thanks for arranging all these Q&As, and to thanks all the folks who are giving up their time to do them. It’s much appreciated!
Winning your job? Nothing personal, but no thanks. Though it would be nice if you could find a female writer to give “you guys” a different perspective on matters. Not that you’ve done a bad job, just might be nice to see a woman writer’s input would help you spin some stories.
My canine houseguest has mostly behaved. Though she’s been launching periodic terrorist attacks on via the far end of her digestive tract. She’s figured out just the right position so that I am caught at the maximum spread/potency distance. In retaliation I cleaned out the lovebird cages, letting the little winged critters fly around for a bit. Drives her absolutely mad. She sits and whines as she stalks them about. They enter into the spirit by timing diving runs just a couple of feet over he head. Better show than anything on tv today…
Looking forward to a week of reviewing Dogs, misc. guest bloggers, and the ongoing activities over at Bridge. Thanks for the daily smile/chuckle.
I appear to have touched a nerve. Perhaps you have no idea what I’m referring to because I erroneously wrote Off the Grid instead of the correct title, Stronghold. Or perhaps you really don’t see how your rather spot on rant about the myriad lousy excuses used today by folks to justify atrocious behavior has been applied to something you (being the generic “you” of the writers and producers) put forth as perfectly justified and understandable previously.
Either way, I appreciate that you’ve chosen to go with the option of attempting to mock and belittle me. That was actually the reaction I was going for. Or rather, I at least expected that’s the route you’d go. I’ve got you dead to rights to admit either slipshod writing and producing, that Mitchell is one of those saps you were railing against yesterday, or total and outright hypocrisy. All three are pretty bitter pills to swallow. Your own attack is really the only defense you have to use. So by all means continue with it. I’ve already won. And we both know it.
So we have Air, Fire, Earth, Water, Time and Judgement confirmed, but we’ve skipped one. What’s the title of episode 108 and who is writing it?
Also, with some arguably bigger names like Robert Carlyle and Lou Diamond Phillips on set, were any of the other actors a bit starstruck?
I have two quick questions.
1) Will SG:U have any of those “get in the gate” contests that SG-1 and SG:A offered? I figure, third time’s the charm. 😛
2) How often do people like Indigo Sapphire troll your blog? Seems like a pretty ineffectual way to spend one’s time.
Oh… Can I be the designated driver the weekend you attempt the alcohol taste testing? PLEEEESEEEEEE!
No, I’m talking about THE question: “How do you answer the call of nature if you’re stuck on a cargo ship?”
I may have missed the previous blog entry where you answered this, but you do remember you guys DID right a bathroom scene on Goa’uld ships that made it onscreen, right?
From Failsafe Transcript after they all get to the crashed cargo ship.
Okay, our first priority is auxiliary power. Then it’s hyper drive and life support.
Is there a restroom? My first priority.
Followed, if I recall, by Sam sighing and pointing to the little goa’uld’s room. 😉
All this Mitchell talk the past few days has got me to thinking….always dangerous. We’ve already heard AT, MS, and CJ mention the third SG-1 movie, and we know it’s all about Rick. And we know that CB won’t be in it. But we’ve heard nothing about Ben or Beau. Will either of them be in the third SG-1 movie or is it strictly “Old School”?
Oh, and any idea when or if Universe will be shown in Australia? Thnx!
Just wondering. Will there be a Blooper reel, apart of the Season 5 DVD set??? I love blooper reels. And loved the fact that there was one included with Season 4!!!
You know, those cargo ships are so big – seeing as they’re used for cargo – the “toilet” question never came up as far as I’m concerned. Figured there was probably enough room for an entire spa back there….
HOWEVER, it *has* been a burning question in the case of the JUMPERS…??! Seriously — you had episodes where more than a couple of people are on those things for waay too many hours, if not days!! So, *where* IS the “john” and DON’T say he’s in the Pilot’s Seat!
And, oh, the container of “DEPENDS” buried behind the ammo in the cargo netting doesn’t count either!
Since you posted a picture of Kerry or Kerri from Post yesterday. It stuck me that she could do a cameo role of some sort on SGU along the lines of a red shirt character. Kerry can be immortalized like our Major Teldy, but with a glorious demise. Hope you can developed a suitable scenario for Kerry, Especially if she flubbed any more gourmet presentation in the future. Wonder if Kerry would accept a cameo appearance? [slithering back to my lurker cave now]
Joe, it’s a mislabel.
“Prop #3: According to the label – and I frankly have a hard time believing it myself – it’s a part of the za’tarc detector from Divide and Conquer.”
While the prop in question is in fact Tok’Ra in styling, it is not part of the za’tarc detector.
I challenge you to double check ‘Dominion’ and tell me it’s not being carried by the Tok’Ra lady on the left about halfway through the episode.
Any idea when SGA season 5 will be available on DVD? I don’t have cable and watched SGA seasons 1-4 on DVD. Will season 5 be available anytime soon? I’m still stuck with the season 4 cliffhanger! Help!!!! 🙂
I’ve come to the conclusion that the whole “nobody has ever thought these words exactly ever in the history of the world at this moment, man” mentality is kind of a wash. Best to keep making pithy comments and sowing discord at work, I guess.
There is a big difference between fact and fiction, Indigo Sapphire. If you cannot see that perhaps you should seek professional help.
As for Joe mocking you? Perhaps if you had worded your first post better you would not have been so insulted by his reply.
oh, Joe no i wasnt talking about this blog post specifically, i was talking about the internet as a whole. every site has people mentioning blade runner as though it were a graphic novel. honestly i think watchmen is probably overrated and im annoyed by all these promotional ads for the movie. every site is doing its bit in promoting it. I know nothing of the graphic novel but the impression i got is that its about whinny superheroes. what happened to the days when superheroes were idolized for not stooping to our psychological level?
about, V For Vendetta, I HATE that movie, wait let me say that again…I HATE it more than any other. i hope watchmen is nothing like it, but again i really dont care.
and Indigo Sapphire is actually funny.
and since other shows are making it into blue-ray, when can we expect stargate to do the same?
Vous allez bien? moi trés trés bien!!
Merci de m’avoir répondu =D.
6 saison! waou trés ambitieux^^, et bien j’espert que cela va ce réaliser et pourquoi pas + de 6 saison…
Ces glasses sont les meilleurs que n’est jamais manger, si vous aller Paris je vous conseille de passer par là.
Merci encore, a bientot =)
In case you do not want to answer Juralas’ specific question about the ep 108 slot:
In your December 23 entry, you wrote that Alan would write 108, and you mentioned in your January 24 entry that Carl would write episode 109. Have the episode slots been swapped, or is Alan writing two eps in a row?
Thanks for the notes on WordPress. I was hoping for the “able to import previous material option”, but just haven’t gotten that far apparently.
I am surprised no one has asked about a Q & A from David Hewlett. Question would be whether his responses would be the quickest turnaround or the longest response. Most likely entertaining either way.
How about a guest “character” Q & A? As one of the writers, you could do it yourself.
Given the obsessive nature of Stargate fans, it couldn’t be a major character that you intended to use in any of the movies (anything you said would instantly become poerceived as “canon” on the blogosphere) but potentially could be one of the minor characters never intended to be seen again. Someone like the father on the episode where the ecosphere kept contracting or one of the Ascended beings on Epiphany.
Maybe have Ona back to answer questions about what she really thinks of Daniel Jackson. (Actually a “real” Q & A with someone like Mel Harris would also be interesting. )
For that matter, have we ever heard an explanation of “Stargate … according to Baron Destructo”?
There seems to be a lot of debate, even among the actors, as to whether the Atlantis movie will go ahead. What do you think Joe?
How’s things going for you? Hope it isn’t too cold over your side of the world at the moment.
I’m a bit of a Star Wars nut and recently saw this appear in the coming soon section.
I noticed the author being Joe Schreiber and thought I saw his name pop up somewhere in your blog at some point, but my searches resulted in no finds.
So my question is: Would you consider reading Death Troopers when it comes out, maybe even for the BOTM Club?
Hope you have an excellent week,
I’m french so sorry if i make mistake… mistakes…
I don’t know how are we suppose to propose our question, so I try here!
In France the season 5 of Atlantis was not spread yet, but I looked it in English, so I saw all the show.
My question is simple: Why any french does not work on the atlantis expedition?
If it is necessary I am ready to go to give them a help for the cooking (french) or the household (housework)!
Thanks for your answer!
Thanks for answering the question. Just wanted to say thank you very much for Stargate, I love it and look forward to Universe
Oh Joe, I really love you little scripted explanation of answering the “call of nature” on a ship. Any chance we could see a similar scene in Stargate Universe? Pretty please?
ooops missed the guessing game. I got the canopic jar but coulda swore one of those pix was a piece of a prior staff.
I prefer the Blade Runner movie that has the Deckard voiceover and suggestion that he was a replicant himself. Guess I better get busy recutting. I still think this one of the most striking movies ever made. Ridley Scott made 2, Highlander was his other cinematic masterpiece in the 80’s.
*smile* I would love to see a Joe Flanigan Q&A here. You posted some great pix of him during s4 shooting.
“Lookit you go, you adorable little cranky-pants. ” I am SO gonna use that one !
I see you’ve picked up another one for our delectation and delight.
*gets comfy with popcorn for the ensuing shit-slinging*
“Lulu looks like a ‘Lulu'”. I can’t imagine any other name.
Finally, someone understands my line of reasoning when it comes to naming.
I’m gonna go try & import 3 years worth of My Space blogs….
A huge lover of tea, and thoroughly having enjoyed all the tea references in SGA, any plans of someone bringing along their own stash on SGU?
Indigo, would you mind spelling out what actions of Cam Mitchell you found to be so disturbing that you’ve posted about it, and exactly how this relates to the writers/producers? You might get more than “mocking and belittling” if your issues were spelled out more coherently. If you have a cogent complaint it would help if you present in in a way that gives someone like Mr. M. a way to respond to you in a like manner.
Of course, if this is all about scorekeeping and “winning” a faux debate, please ignore this post.
Joe Flanigan Joe Flanigan Joe Flanigan Joe Flanigan Joe Flanigan Joe Flanigan Joe Flanigan Joe Flanigan
dude you are being vague. Joe was against the murderer who got free even though he killed someone and ate him because of the insanity plea…how on earth does that ever relate to the fictional character Mitchel?
@ Indigo Sapphire. My, my. What an inflated sense of self-importance you have. You win? What? Winning an imaginary argument on the internet is like winning a jerk-off contest with yourself. You likely have a sense of self-gratification, but no one else wants to know, see, or participate. In short, you suck.
Cranky-pants, certainly. I have a miserable head cold, complete with sore throat, tender tummy and earache. Lemme at ’em. I don’t even care who “’em” is, just lemme at ’em.
I think it’s funny that IndigoSapphire has a problem with Mitchell, because he was written as such a goody-two-shoes!!! Seriously, I don’t think we’ve ever seen him let his own emotions or the fact that he was having a bad day interfere with his mission or his job! I’m sure there was one time or another, but none that I can recall right now. And certainly not in either of the episodes IS mentioned (in “Off the Grid,” his mission is to pretend to be a drug smuggler, so it’s not like that’s off mission or anything; in “Stronghold” he doesn’t even have a mission to muck up, he’s just helping out a friend!).
Also, I don’t believe that prop #1 was part of the za’tarc detector at all… I’m gonna go re-watch that episode now (if I can find it, lol) but I’m pretty sure there wasn’t a massive purple thingamabob on it!!!
@Das: Gah! (((((((((hugs)))))))))) I’m so sorry you are still sick. Ugh! 🙁 Ok… I’m sure people have said all sorts of advice. And maybe I’ve said this before. But have you thrown out your toothbrush and bought a new one? I’ve seriously had this help a couple friends who kept getting sick. I’m sure you’ve thought of it but it’s so simple that I just had to say it. Other than that I’ll be thinking all the good thoughts that I can for you. OK?
And I’m sure someone as quick-witted as you would do so well meeting The Heyerdahl! 😀 (Ya know, like The Hoff but actually cool. 😉 ) If I could go to Shoreleave this year I’d promise to be your supportive sidekick. I think it would be fun to have something exciting to look forward to doing. Kind of a mind-over-matter thing like, “I’ll be better then!” But that’s totally just me. I am shameless at trying to cheer people up. And probably am sounding annoying now so I’ll just stop here. 😆
@Anne Teldy: So I promised I’d donate blood tomorrow. 😯 I’m nervous! They said I can donate even though I’ve had surgery. Hopefully that will go well and I won’t have stinkin’ low iron. I’ll let you know if I’m successful. I just wanted you to know that this will be my second donation just because of YOU! So you’ve inspired me to get back in the donation game! I hope this makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. 😀 And I also hope you are doing well. No more feeling guilty about the life saving transfusions, ok?
@maggiemayday: Aw! Another sicky? I’m so sorry. I actually have a *hit* list per se. You can get at ’em if you like. It’s got five really uber annoying people on it. 😉 Thanks for fighting the good fight when you’re not feeling well. Feel better soon, though. OK?
@ Indigo Sapphire – I think I understand what you’re saying, and it’s why I made my ‘for once’ comment to Joe regarding the whole ‘accepting responsibility’ thing. It’s what really put me off of SGA over the back half of this last season: when the Lanteans finally had the opportunity to face up to what they did to Michael, and how they disrupted the galaxy as a whole – they chose to blame their victim (Michael), and the Wraith (‘We were only trying to save you helpless ingrates from the big bad Wraiths!’), instead of fessing up to the mess they’ve made, and trying to do better. I just really wanted them to sit back and say, ‘yeah, we screwed up – we let our egos get the best of us and we tampered with a species we didn’t first try to understand, we created the imbalances, and we caused – both directly and indirectly – the premature deaths of hundreds of thousands of humans. We were WRONG.’
And with Sheppard’s continued threats to Todd, I really get the feeling that the Lanteans will always justify – and cover over – their actions by shouting about how bad the Wraith are, even though we clearly saw through Ellia that they can be different, despite their inborn needs.
It isn’t about not being able to separate fiction from reality. When you see the same things you hate to see in real life portrayed as justifiable on the screen because the ‘heroes’ are doing it – well…yeah, that gets to me. I get my knickers in a bunch over the treatment of Wraith, not just because I find the characters attractive, but because I see them as a unique species that humans fail to understand – or even try to understand – and it just reminds me of such things like the ever-growing popularity of killing sharks for sport, simply because they might eat us someday.
So, although you worded things a bit strongly, and even though your example is different from mine, I believe (if I understand what you are trying to say) that the feelings of frustration are the same.
1. Will SGU have a story-arc other than a group of “ordinary” people trying to survive on-board a spaceship without brakes, like some form of an enemy or a series long mystery that slowly unravels?
2. Will all of the characters have unique senses of humor or will there be predetermined “funny guys”?
3. Is the show adventure-oriented at all, in the way both SG1 and SGA were?
4. I’m working on a short story, if I were to finish and email it to you, would you send me feedback?
I found it!!! There’s a line in “Stronghold” where Carter says “Am I gonna be able to stop you?” and Mitchell says “Probably not. I’m having a bad day.” So there you have it. Mitchell insisted on being the one to save Teal’c because he was having a bad day. He should have listened to Carter because it was her mission (he came on at the last second), but he technically is her commanding officer, right? So the choice is his. The whole “having a bad day” comment wasn’t intended to make him any less responsible for his actions, I don’t think… just to make Carter realize how very determined he was!
What’s up? Got a couple questions
1. Have you ever considered directing a Universe episode?
2. When will we get more news on the Atlantis Movie?
3. Will promo pictures and or videos regarding Universe appear on the sci fi channel after one of the SG-1 movies air?
4. Who are your favorite people who read and comment on your blog?
5. How is life for you in Canada? Are you loving it or hating it?
Major D. Davis
Today’s blog reminded me of this (cut and pasted from http://users.tinyonline.co.uk/gswithenbank/funnyen2.htm )
A Vision of the Future
Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between Government departments.
European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult; for example: cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme of changes to iron out these anomalies. The programme would, of course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by participating nations.
In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using ‘s’ instead of the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard ‘c’ could be replaced by ‘k’ sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one less letter.
There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it was anounsed that the troublesome ‘ph’ would henseforth be written ‘f’. This would make words like ‘fotograf’ twenty per sent shorter in print.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible. Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.
We would al agre that the horible mes of silent ‘e’s in the languag is disgrasful. Therefor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four years sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptive to steps sutsh as replasing ‘th’ with ‘z’. Perhaps zen ze finktion of ‘w’ kould be taken on by ‘v’, vitsh is, after al, half a ‘w’. Shortly after zis, ze unesesary ‘o’ kould be dropd from words kontaining ‘ou’. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of letters.
Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli have a reli sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls, difikultis and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drems of the Guvernmnt vud finali have kum tru.