"I've taken a beating in the stock market but, fortunately, have managed to avoid any damage to the head area."
"I've taken a beating in the stock market but, fortunately, have managed to avoid any damage to the head area."
WTF?! #1.  Guess the prop and the eppy.
WTF?! #1. Guess the prop and the eppy.
WTF?! #2.  Guess the prop and the eppy.
WTF?! #2. Guess the prop and the eppy.
WTF?! #3.  Name the prop and the eppy.
WTF?! #3. Name the prop and the eppy.
Alex left some shit behind.  And, in this case, "shit" isn't simply a synoynm for "stuff".
Alex left some shit behind. And, in this case, "shit" isn't simply a synoynm for "stuff".
Carl and Kerry, all friendly-friendly...when there's a camera on them.
Carl and Kerry, all friendly-friendly...when there's a camera on them.

My writing/producing partner Paul walked into my office, plunked himself down on the couch, and started talking about his rewrite on the Judgment script. As he sat there, chatting away, a question immediately popped into my head that had nothing do with the kino or Rush’s character of the big fourth act WTF moment. “What the hell are you wearing?”I asked.

Of course, I already knew the answer. What he was so oh-so-casually sporting was an Ori devotee soldier helmet from the Stargate: Ark of Truth movie. Perhaps the more appropriate questions would’ve been: “Why the hell are you wearing that?”

He jerked his thumb back across the hall to Alex Levine’s old office, now apparently the storehouse for the sundry Stargate-related props that will eventually find their way onto eBay. Paul took off the helmet and headed back out and, as I was trying it on (It was too big for MY head. Read into that what you will.) he returned with a garish purple and turquoise monstrosity. “Let’s test your Stargate knowledge, buddy.” He set it down on my coffee table. “Guess the prop and the episode.”

I had no freaking idea. At first blush, I would have guessed “Barney the dinosaur’s unhatched little brother.” As it turned out, I would have guessed wrong.

I headed over to Alex’s office and checked out the goods, some true masterpieces, others so ugly they hurt my eyes to look at. I snapped a few pics for posterity’s sake (or, as one of my old girlfriends used to say, “for prosperity’s sake”) and also snapped a pic of the gorgeous art pieces lining the top shelf of one of Alex’s bookcases. I’m surprised he forgot to take them with him when he left.  Scroll on up and play WTF?  Guess the prop and the episode!  Try to beat my score of 4 out of a possible 6 points.

Have been on set this week getting some excellent shots that will, I’m hoping, eventually see the light of day – or, at the very least, the weak, vision-blurring luminosity of a computer screen. Unfortunately, I can’t show you photos of the inside of Stage 4, but I can show you a photo I took ON MY WAY TO Stage 4. Check out Carl and Kerry (who, apparently, now spells her name with a “y” although she insists it was always “Kerry” and not “Kerri”) pretending they get along.

So I was driving in this morning, flipping through the various radio stations in search of one that actually played music (alas, they seem to have gone the way of steakums and good Oliver Stone movies) when I happened across the 94.5 FM morning show whose hosts were in discussion with one of those moronic dime-a-dozen self-help you-can-do-it! know-it-alls. You know, the type who feels we need to be more forgiving of the screw-ups and sub-humans that plague our communities (I’m reminded of the idiot pundit who appeared on the morning news the other day to weigh in on the recent court decision to declare some guy who had decapitated a fellow Greyhound bus passenger mentally unfit to stand trial for the murder. He declared the judge’s decision “A great day for the Canadian justice system.”. Okay, I can understand the judge’s argument, but “a great day for the Canadian justice system”? A “great” day? What a tool! But I digress.).

Anyway, today, the topic of conversation was poor, misunderstood Chris Brown. In the estimation of this touchy-feely cretin and the morning show’s co-hosts, Chris Brown was probably just having a bad day and we shouldn’t be so quick to pass judgment on him because, you see, by doing so we make it that much harder to forgive our own perceived transgressions. Pardon me but what a load of shit. We’re not talking about Michael Phelps’s alleged pot smoking or Wesley Snipe’s alleged tax evasion. We’re talking about a guy who, allegedly, beat the crap out of his girlfriend. I mean seriously. This was one of those instances when I wanted to call up the show and warn them about the apparent gas leak in the building that had addled their brains. And the fact that one of said co-hosts was a woman was all the more astounding.

Ah, the joys of our modern society where individuals need no longer be held accountable for their actions and the blame can, instead, be placed squarely on their shitty childhoods, workplace stress, or the fact that they were “having a bad day”. It’s a forgiving world where wife-beaters and violent offenders are considered victims in their own right, idiots are free to sue restaurants for making surprisingly hot coffee, and celebrities who stand in the middle of busy Hollywood intersections screaming at the passing motorists can be forgiven because they are, according to their publicists, merely suffering from fatigue. “Oooh, I’m exhausted. I think I’ll go stand in traffic. In fact, I’m so tired, I might even do it with my pants down. Soooo sleeeeeepy.”


Ben writes: “Do you think short stories make better films?”

Answer: I don’t know if short stories necessarily make better feature fodder, but given that they are necessarily less detailed then novels, they do free up the filmmaker to make creative contributions that tend to be more original and personal.

duneknight writes: “now what is easier to do: write a book or make a movie?”

Answer: Movie.

AussieSGFan writes: “Have they got a score for ‘Universe’ yet? Will Joel Goldsmith be composing again?”

Answer: Yes, we’re fortunate to have Joel Goldsmith back doing the honors. He’s working on something as we speak.

Deni B. writes: “Joe! Thank you! How the hell did you know it’s my birthday?”

Answer: Let’s just say a little birdie told me. Via email.

Shawna writes: “The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe – I went into this with high expectations and was not disappointed.”

Answer: Egads. Then, whatever you do, DO NOT check out this link – http://josephmallozzi.com/2006/12/31/december-30-2006/

AV Eddy writes: “Thanks for the Watchmen review. Your take is about what I heard on NPR today.”

Answer: That wasn’t my review nor was it my take. It was my commentary on adaptations prompted by some of the Watchmen reviews I’ve read. I’ve yet to see the movie and do fully intend to.

Annie from Freemantle writes: “So on the topic of movies vs books… what do you think of Stephen King’s movies compared to his books? (in my opinion the movies don’t capture King’s tongue in cheek humour).”

Answer: I’ve read neither book but loved The Shining and Misery.

Narelle from Aus writes: “Joe, with your experience writing this short story, do you believe that writing a novel would be easier or harder?”

Answer: Much harder. Given that it’s taken me five months (and counting) to write this short story, I imagine it would take most of my natural life to actually complete a novel.

Christelle writes: “I found A new Gustative experience ! a flaky pastry of “Roquefort”, bananas, and bitter chocolate, from Pierre Hermé.”

Answer: Hmmm. Not so sure about the Roquefort. Then again, I wasn’t sure about the foie gras macaron and ended up loving.

Iberostar writes: “Just wanted to add that there are various versions of the Blade Runner movie out there. The original one had a voice-over with Harrison Ford narrating. He was Deckard explaining the world he lived in. The next version, the director cut that out – it always bothered him – I think I recall he was asked to add it after intitial screenings. Now there is a Final Director’s cut, no voice-over and a different ending. (personally, I didn’t find it worth watching).”

Answer: My writing partner, Paul, and I were discussing the different versions of Blade Runner the other day. I always assumed their were just two: the original version with the voice-over and tacked-on happy ending (Hey, it turns out Rachael was special!) and the director’s cut with the dreamy unicorn sequence that, like the book, inferred Deckard was a replicant himself. Guess which version I preferred?

Stargatelvr writes: “ I didn’t know you had a Facebook Joe. Why don’t you use it anymore?”

Answer: http://josephmallozzi.com/2008/03/07/march-7-2008-frustration-and-despair-want-to-be-your-friends-confirm-or-ignore/

Belouchi writes: “Well couldn’t they like use it as a booby trap weapon to eliminate several hives.”

Answer: Because they already used it as a booby trapped weapon by giving it to Camulus.

Ahem writes: “What is it with you and Joe Flanigan? Why no Q&A? Did you ask him and he declined? Do you think he’s like RDA — not the Q&A type? You don’t like him? He doesn’t like you? What?”

Answer: Never asked him.

Green writes: “What search term do I type in to find out your current snail mail address for sending you stuffs?”

Answer: Type in –

Joseph Mallozzi

c/o Stargate Universe

2400 Boundary Road

Burnaby, BC V5M 3Z3

See what comes up. And, please, no more live chinchillas. They keep messing up the office.

84 thoughts on “March 6, 2009: Barney the Dinosaur’s Unhatched Little Brother and Blame It All On Exhaustion.

  1. Hey the second prop is from Evolution Part 1 & Death Knell. It’s the Ancient healing device or the Sh1t I’m turning into a Zombie device.

    Cheers, Chev

  2. It is sad that we have come a long way with how domestic violence is treated and just because someone is known, it is ok to have excuses. It should never be OK no matter who you are.

  3. Answer: Egads. Then, whatever you do, DO NOT check out this link

    Aw… Well, I liked it, anyway. But then, I’m generally pretty easy to please. … Well, sometimes. … Okay, it depends. … All right, maybe I mostly just thought Tumnus was hot. … But seriously, I did enjoy it.

    Do you like the book and just not like how it was adapted? Or do you not like the book either?

  4. Yeah I wish Judge Judy was presiding over Brown’s court case. There is never any excuse to hit your wife or girlfriend.

    He better be very careful with his defense.


  5. Hi, Joe.

    Wow. Great photos.

    Let’s see…

    1st photo is Paul Mullie wearing an Ori helmet from Ark of Truth.

    2nd photos — I have no clue.

    3rd photo — Telchak’s device from Evolution, Part 1 (or Part 2) or from Death Knell.

    4th photo — Canopic jar from The Curse, containing Isis.

    5th photo – a lot of stuff, including a statue of RA from Stargate the Movie (94), plastic ET, a glass egg, a neat looking silver/pewter Stargate with glass middle (etched with 2008 and other text), another silver/pewter Stargate, a bust of Homer Simpson, Homer Simpson and donut, Grandpa Simpson, Bart Simpson on skateboard, stuffed turtle, random lamp, a bronze figurine of someone, and a multi-colored representation of a bullish looking head.

    6th photo – Carl Binder and Kerry, pretending they get a long.


    Thank you! Have a terrific weekend!

  6. Anyone feeling nostalgic, perhaps for a little Peter DeLuise, or maybe even Chris Heyerdahl? Or how about both at the same time? Well, I finally got to figuring out how to do screen caps, just so I could share this little gem from 21 Jump Street, c. 1987…



    Oh, and as far as Chris Brown goes – well…he can go rot in hell. I have no time for abusers, and the damage he did to her tells me this wasn’t just a ‘bad day’ thing. Once an abuser, always an abuser, unless he gets some serious help, NOW. Otherwise, he’s gonna end up killing someone someday.

    Hey, Joe – for once we can agree on something…ya know, the part where you said, “Ah, the joys of our modern society where individuals need no longer be held accountable for their actions and the blame can, instead, be placed squarely on their shitty childhoods, workplace stress…”, etc. Now maybe you can understand how frustrated I got when the Lanteans blamed all their bone-headed actions on the big, bad Wraith. 😉


  7. I hope you’re enjoying your nice weather. I got home from work yesterday and had to shovel snow that was 18 inches deep off of the driveway.

    Did you ever find your drinking buddy for the weird drink of the day video? [You could always come to Edmonton and I’d join you :)]

  8. The only source of amusement I’ve had about the Chris Brown episode is the media chat about his “squeaky clean” image. Not quite what I’m hearing from folks from his home town. I just hope the prosecuter goes after him even if the victim elects not to testify.
    the houseguest from Hell continues to make life more entertaining. First, she got into my emergency supplies, managing to rip into some applesauce, oatmeal, and granola bars, among other things. the natural conseuence of course was that she couldnt wait the two hours between her last outing and the time I got hom to let her out. And for the finale, I took her on a visit to dad’s house. As stepmom opened the door to pet her, doggie spots the house cat… thirty seconds of chaos and demolished venetian blind later, she’s outside staring in, cat has teleported away, and I’m not quite a persona-non-grata at dad’s. I can hardly wait to see what other turmoil my normally well mannered and soulful-eyed guest will cause over the weekend.
    Kudos to Mr. Mullie for modelling the helmet. And to you for sharing the pictures. I believe others have already identified the objects, and I only recognised #2 anyways. Now, when you start posting some Atlantis props, I believe I will do better.

  9. @ Laura – We were lucky. We got 7.7″ of snow that lasted on the ground for a good two-three days, then between yesterday and today, it just melted away. Nearly all gone now except for where it was plowed into piles, or in shaded areas. And Sunday it’s supposed to be 70 degrees F. Woo! Winter, spring and summer, all in one week! Then it gets cold again. 😛


  10. WTF?! #1 is the hat that Dwight Schultz wears in ‘The Gamekeeper’ I think. It was an interesting story but not his best role. Or costume. 🙂

    I think everything else has been solved.

  11. @das – It wasn’t that we got 18 inches, but the wind repositioned everything into huge drifts. Along our fence it is 3 feet deep in places. And we got one day of temps at 0 degrees C before it went back down to below minus 20 (not counting stupid windchill) The warm day was just enough to melt everything so that it would turn to ice. Driving hasn’t really been that fun the last few days.

  12. Joe wrote, “Oooh, I’m exhausted. I think I’ll go stand in traffic. In fact, I’m so tired, I might even do it with my pants down. Soooo sleeeeeepy.”

    You are so funny I almost hacked up a lung laughing! I’ve got an idea Joe! Since you are having trouble with you short story, and don’t want to write a book about your travels or chocolate escapades, the only thing left for you is the Reader’s Digest. Thats right! The Reader’s Digest!

    Here is what they say: “We pay $100 – $300 for the funny true stories we print in Life, @Work, and Off Base. We pay $100 for jokes, quotes, and other material used in Laugh!, Quotes, or elsewhere in the magazine. Send ’em to us! Here’s how: Go to rd.com/joke to submit original material.”

    $100 – $300? Guess it depends on how funny they think you are. This should be a breeze for you! And you will be able to say you have published one of your works.

  13. Dang- I was wrong- WTF #1 isn’t what I thought. If it comes to me I’ll let you know.

  14. Re: Blade Runner

    Oops……..Sorry I asked. Maybe I would have liked it more had I seen the movie first.


  15. Well Watchmen was very very well done. Although they did alter the storyline a little bit, I thought they did an incredible job adopting it to the big screen. I highly suggest seeing it in theatres, they just aren’t the same on the TV. I wasn’t expecting them to but they even left Dr. Manhattan pantless!! That drew quite a few chuckles from some women who had obviously have no idea what being trapped in an intrinsic field could do to you.

    While talking Alan Moore, have you read and watched V For Vendetta?? One of my alltime favorite stories.

  16. @Joe: I admit defeat. I don’t have a clue what any of the props are. But I’ll be interested to see if any of the other bloggers beat your score! And, for the record, I agree with you on the whole responsibility thing!

    @fsmn36, Montrealer, das and David: Thanks for the info! Over the years I’ve discovered that not all R-ratings are created equal. That’s why I asked the blogger here what they thought of it. Personally, I’m not a big fan of graphic violence (still haven’t seen 300 for that reason) – some people like it, but it’s just not for me. And though I’m not exactly prudish, I realize that there are some things that are just plain embarrassing for teens to watch, especially with their parents. Graphic sex tends to be one of those things.

    I think I’ll err on the side of caution and see it first, then decide about taking her.

    And the book vs. movie discussion was fun! I agree that both have their virtues. Just as long romances and quickies both have their virtues. It’s just a matter of what you are in the mood for at the time. And I liked the comment that they should be complementary and at their best can draw fans from one medium to the other.

  17. @ Laura – Ah, drifts! 20+ years ago – when we still got real snow – I was alone, housesitting for my sister. She lived only three blocks from the ocean and the wind blew straight down her street. We had a massive nor’easter, and I literally got snowed into her house – the drift was halfway up her front, outward-swinging storm door. It was a strange feeling…being ‘trapped’ like that. The back door was no better – I could get out the door, but no further without being neck-deep in snow. I just needed to feel like I could escape, so I took the window out of her front door, and shovelled out that way.

    Of course, after I was able to get out of the house, I still couldn’t get out of the driveway…or down the street. So I just hunkered down inside, thought about the Donner Party, and wondered if any of my sister’s neighbors were home… 😉


  18. Oooo! I love that Telchak cube…. [It’s just *so* Frank Lloyd…] It’s always been one of my fav items to “walk off with” *IF* I were ever allowed to! That, or the crystal skull… OR Ronon’s Gun!! ;-D And, Oh! One of them hand ribbon devices things — *allows* fun at parties!!

  19. @ Sparrow_hawk – I still get embarrassed just watching kissing scenes with my mom in the room. 😛 In some ways, we just never really grow up.


  20. Funny you should mention that, Joe. I believe “I’m having a bad day” was once upon a time a perfectly valid excuse for bullshit actions with you.

    When Cam Mitchell was “having a bad day” it meant he could do just about anything he wanted in Off the Grid. If it’s such a lousy line of reasoning why didn’t you tell the boys in the writers room that there must have been a gas leak addling their brains? Is this a new view you’ve suddenly adopted? Perhaps the Stargate world operates under a different set of principles?

    No doubt then that in the next SG-1 movie Chris Brown will get a mention as having gone through quite the ordeal. Daniel and Sam can talk about how he must have been having such a tough time of it and that it’s good to see him back on his feet and avoiding jail time and that they remember how their good friend Cam Mitchell once had a bad day just like that. It should be in there, Joe. You know. For the realism.

  21. Oh no! What I said sounded kinda mean. Sorry! I didn’t mean it was “the only thing left for you”. (don’t go jumping off any bridges now) I meant, it’s just something else (fun) for you to consider. As talented and witty and sharp as you are! You could start racking up $100 bills right and left. Not to say your not worth $300 everytime you open your mouth or put pen to paper. I think I better go now…. Have I told you lately that I love you?

  22. Dear Joe,

    Thanks again sir for the comment on my question:

    “Belouchi writes: “Well couldn’t they like use it as a booby trap weapon to eliminate several hives.”

    Answer: Because they already used it as a booby trapped weapon by giving it to Camulus.”

    I don’t mean to be a smart-ass or contradict you, but I precisely remeber Jack O’Neill say at the end of the eppy that he gave Camulus the “dead one” which he either infered to the Proclarus Taonas ZPM or the already depleted Earth ZPM which was already in the Chair. Technically, your statement is true given the fact Baal probably tortured or killed Camulus for coming empty handed but the tainted ZPM with the Mass destruction power was still in the hands of the SGC or Area 51. Again, you are the one that writes these beautiful stories and we are your audience so the last word goes to you.

    Thanks for the clarification

  23. I’m coming back for my shit! Don’t let anybody take it. See you in a couple weeks. The MADNESS!

  24. Any advice on switching over to WordPress?

    The need to do so is inevitable, but my current site will be available for a little while longer so I don’t have to rush the move.

    I tried to access some of your entries on your switch, but didn’t have much luck. ANY advice would be appreciated.

  25. PMSL ! Geez Joe, your rant sounded just like me on a good day. Glad its not just me.

    @Das, you cracked me up again.

    WTF#1 is definitely a wraith sunglasses case.
    WTF#2 is an early ancient TV set
    WTF#3 s that lovely jar of crystallised ginger aunt Ethel sent last christmas.

  26. @ Belouchi – Stop trying to find ways to blow up hives and stuff! Sheesh. Men. 🙄



  27. Every time a celebrity goes nuts, I think of Brad Paisley’s song “Celebrity” because it’s so true!!!

    I dunno about the Barney prop, but the box-shaped thing is the one that reanimates dead tissue in the episode where Daniel and Dr. Lee go to Central America… I was actually just thinking about that in connection to LOST, because the island apparently has the ability to do much the same, except it preserves personality and facial features 😉

  28. Oh, and Martin Gero has a Twitter now, so everyone who isn’t already should go follow him!!! He’s @martingero

  29. Hey Joe I figured out what to do with the rest of the money I won. The first part I used to buy a business license. I still had some left over so I decided to dedicate this years addition to the Stichlings (My stuff animal collection) to Fondy and your self. I used the rest of the money to buy fabric and in a couple days there will be a stuffed Pug named Joey. I’ll have pics for you.

  30. Alex, I was worried something was wrong if you’d left behind Homer. Who would leave behind such lovely items? Hey, my hear-no-evil-speak-no-evil-see-no-evil-gnomes-stacked-on-a-turtle statue arrived today. There really should be a blood-alcohol-content restriction for eBay shopping.

  31. Joe wrote:

    Ah, the joys of our modern society where individuals need no longer be held accountable for their actions and the blame can, instead, be placed squarely on their shitty childhoods, workplace stress, or the fact that they were “having a bad day”.

    Man, is it good to hear someone else say that.
    The other behaviour I’m not understanding at the moment is the reaction some people have to minor infractions. Someone accidentally cuts another driver off, the reaction from the driver is to then pull a shot gun and threaten the Mother with her child in the car. Whatever happened to acknowledging your mistake with a humble wave and a mouthed “Sorry” and the other person waving back (and without the middle finger raised) and accept it as an accident. There’s so much hostility and everyone seems to have their excuse/reason for being able to behave in that way. I see people now going out of their way to create situations on the road which they know will end in confrontation. This leaves me stunned and saddened.
    **gets off soapbox**

    The reason I was interested to know your take on short story vs novel is whether with less pages to get your story told whether you need to choose your words much more carefully vs a novel where you have a little more time/pages to get across what you are trying to convey.

    Alex, I hope your “stuff” is still there when you return.

    Didn’t feel or know about the Earth tremor until this morning. I did dream of Melbourne developing volcanoes where the fires had been burning so maybe subconsciously my brain sensed something was off. But I also dreamt that I’d lost the ability to type and had one hairy armpit, so yeah, maybe not…

  32. You can still read the Shining after seeing the movie. The ending is different enough. And IT is infinitely better than the movie. Although there is one part that was a tad unnecessary (ignore most of the gore; you’ll know it when you get there).

    By the way, would you prefer people just stop mentioning the name Joe Flanigan?

    WTF 1. Ori helmet like you said. Almost definitely from “Avalon” or later. I think.

    WTF 2. I have no idea. But I’m gonna say “Foothold”.

    WTF 3. Crazy Ancient Lazarizer what Daniel and Dr. Lee dug up in Columbia/Honduras. Episode was “Evolution”.

    WTF 4. Looks like the Canopic jar of Osiris or Isis. I’d say Osiris since it’s not damaged. Episode was “The Curse” if that’s the case.

    WTF 5. Statue of Ra. Obviously in the original movie, also made an appearance in “Moebius”. Minotaur head that could be a prop, but too ornate to be that of a carpenter. Did Jack have any Simpsons stuff on his desk? The lamp is familiar.

    WTF 6. Carl Binder first touched our hearts with “Demons”. I think you should see if he has anything else to offer before selling him on eBay. I don’t know when the Kerry formerly known as Kerri appeared.

  33. Ok, I promise I didn’t read anyone else’s comment (actually, none have been approved at the moment of writing; I haven’t refreshed the page in an hour or so…honest!), so here are my guesses:

    1. No effing clue.

    2. Easy. The Tel’Chak device from Evolution, and 200.

    3. I think it one of those canopic jars from The Curse.

    How d’I do? 😉

    Question: A new episode title! Thank you! So, which episode may this be? Is Judgement episode 109, or 111?

    I’m sure others will do the same, but I must correct you on that bit of Stargate lore. O’Neill tricked Camulus and gave him the empty ZPM from Proclarush Taonas and pretended it was the booby trapped one.

    We still have the booby trapped one.

    Hey, there’s a new Star Trek trailer out (coincidentally, attached to Watchmen). It’s freaking amazing, says this Trekkie:


    Meanwhile, in other space-related news, NASA has just successfully launched the satellite telescope Kepler! This is awesome news for those who’s interested in this stuff, because Kepler is specifically designed to seek out new, Earth-like worlds!

    Who knows, we may see a System Lord waving/glaring menacingly back at us. 😉

  34. Love the pics of the props. The purple thing looks like something that would have belonged to the Ori. It’s great to know that some of the wonderful props made over the years will make their way into the public’s hands. Is the ebay ID that the studio uses called ‘stargate legacy’? They’re the only seller I’ve seen sell items on ebay that claim they’re doing it for the studio.

  35. Well, I recognized the telchak device from Evolution (#2) straight away, and #3 Is the bottom half of the Isis Jar (canopic) from The Curse. I have no idea about # 1…

  36. wtf#1, tokra symbiote case from ‘Dominion’ (sg-1 season 10), seen for all of 5 seconds in the background.

    wtf#2, telchak device from ‘200’ (sg-1 season 10), from the mitchell zombie scene

    wtf#3, Osiris Jar from ‘The Curse’ (sg-1 season 4)

  37. Hi Joe! Love the blog. I find the behind-the-scenes info. fascinating.

    I’m writing to ask if there’s any chance of a Q&A with Ben Browder. I think I saw that question asked, but didn’t see a response. I’m a big fan of his work and always thought it’d be interesting to get inside his head.


  38. Bonjour Joseph!

    Vous allez bien?
    Merci pour ces photos! Vous avez l’air de bien vous amuser eu travail^^.

    Je me pose une question, il doit y avoir de nombreux accésoir provenant de sg1 ou sga, vous les garder tout? que faite vous des êtres?

    Si un jour vous devez vous en débarasser mêttez les sur Ebay je suis sur que sa marcherai trés bien^^!


    1) Quand allez vous revoir les acteurs de sga?
    2) Combient de saison voudriez vous que dure sgu?
    3) avez vous deja gouter les glaces de berthillon?

    Voila =) Bonne journée!

  39. Ok, after some discussions among us crazy fans, here’s a follow-up Q: Is Judgement Alan’s script that Paul is polishing, or is it Paul’s very own script?

  40. why is everyone comparing watchmen to blade runner? they dont share anything in common save for the fact that they are both movies.
    okay there is abit of confusion on what the theme music is gonna be like for SGU, will it be modern or on par with the previous ones? personally i would go with something more African drumbeat type of music. why? because it gives a scary feel of an alien world, feeling of being displaced. and its foreshadowing. but thats just me and i know nothing of SGU yet. I’m sure Joel Goldsmith will come up with something cool like always. ummm, i also like the sound of the violin.

  41. Hi there Mr M!!

    Away from base yesterday. Thank you for your thoughts re: Blade Runner / DADoES. Wholeheartedly concur re: same. One of my favourite movies, that truly gives a “gritty realism” to a future dystopia. And it’s the small things like the Coke Adverts that really make it.

    Great to see Mr B!!! I note the video tape of the pilot!!! WOW!
    Delighted to hear production is rolling well, and best to all there. Also THRILLED PDL is back on the lot for SGU!!……Can only ever say one thing when I hear PDL’s name :

    “Read my lips B-I-G-G-E-R!!!

    WRT: Props: I am terrible at remembering ep names….not alone which season…Sorry.. Anyway I have good money on PG15 nailing each and every one of them!!!

    Also please tell Paul Mullie that he is offered the lead in our production of Phantom of the Opera here in Tipperary…. Flight not included…Thanks for auditioning Paul!!!!!!!

    Best to all


  42. I’m a little late on responding to this. But Peter is back. Hurrah. He is awesome. I hope he does DVD Commentary for this episode, for when ever the DVDs come out in the next 2 years.

  43. I’m sorry to hear that I missed the Book of Joby discussion. I’m about halfway through it now, and perhaps I’ll post a response to your discussion when I finish it. If you think that would be all right. I wasn’t able to find it here in Australia so I had it shipped from the US so it took forever to get here. Ah well. I thank you for the recommendation though, it’s been a great read so far!

    Here’s my non spoiler short review for the Watchmen. I went to see it with my fiance tonight so it’s still fresh in my mind.

    The film, from a technical standpoint far surpasses many other fantasy/comic book with its visual effects. The scenes are beautifully rendered and truly enhance the world the story creates. I even caught the twin towers standing proudly in the background of the NYC scenes.

    The acting is top quality. The actors do an extraordinary job portraying the characters and their character’s flaws. I have to admit, I was extremely impressed with Robert Wisden’s impression of Nixon as well as Supernatural’s Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s portrayal of the Comedian.

    The most intriguing character, by far, is Rorschach. He attempts to draw the audience into the story and succeeds. The scenes with him are thoroughly entertaining and enjoyable.

    The writing, however, fails to meet the excellence of the rest of the movie by being extremely weak. There are too many diverging story lines that only weaken the main point of the entire movie. It seems to drag on for far too long. I personally feel that if they had cut 30-45 mins of the side stories, then the film would have been stronger. I felt myself asking “why do I or should I care about this character’s past?” far too often.

    I was mildly bored by the time the credits hit the screen. The ending, like parts of the movie, tended to drag on much longer than was needed. The resolution was a bit of a disappointment, making me wonder what I gained, as a viewer, from the journey. I know it’s based on a comic, but I’ve not read the book.

    I did understand the main point, despite it’s weak delivery. Unfortunately, not everyone in the audience understood the film. We had a couple of people mumble to us as we were leaving that the movie only succeeded in confusing them, some did not even know what the movie had been about.

    I’d give it 3 out of 5 stars. It’s so amazing visually, but the writing definitely falls short.

  44. Hey, I recognized the device from Evolution at least. Mostly because I watched the episode again about a week ago. Michael Shanks was great in that one; I particularly love his reaction to Jack’s unexpected arrival on the scene.

    Hey, did anyone see Michael’s performance on Burn Notice this past week? Wow, good stuff! Sure, I’m a little biased, but they would have done well to make him a regular on the show. His performance was more interesting than that of the lead character.

    Regarding Chris Brown and all of that: when the story broke, I was already wondering how long it would take before he was “forgiven” by his fans and the media. What’s really bothered me is how apparently (if the media is to be believed in this case) Rihanna is back with him. We know this sort of thing happens all too often, we know that the abused are sometimes quick to forgive or accept the behavior of their abusers. But to see it playing out is disturbing.

  45. Props? Come on, ask us some hard ones. Now if that’s your pool of holiday gifts for blog devotees, deserving or otherwise, well, hell yes, thank you!

    Chris Brown will be prosecuted; California does it automatically in abuse cases even if the victim does not want to press charges. Unless the laws have changed in the last ten years and my info is out of date. Brown needs to be nailed in the nuts and have his career shut down. Bastard.

  46. Dave said:

    WTF?! #1 is the hat that Dwight Schultz wears in ‘The Gamekeeper’ I think. It was an interesting story but not his best role. Or costume. 🙂

    Nah. Here’s a pic of the hat

    Cheers, Chev

  47. Alex’s stuff is shit? Does that make your shit stuff? (Gotta love Carlin)

    I’m diggin’ the bust of Homer…that’s pretty sweet.

    You should hold ‘The Joseph Mallozzi Celebrity Pro-Am Invitational Geek Shelf-Off’? People post links to their geek shelves and are judged by their fellow nerds.

  48. Alex said:

    I’m coming back for my shit! Don’t let anybody take it. See you in a couple weeks. The MADNESS!

    Hey Alex!! **waves**

    You’d better be quick or Joe will auction off Homer on eBay. Tkae care. Looking forward to hearing what you’ve been up to. Joe will give us a blow-by-blow.

    Cheers, chev

  49. @ Thornyrose – I’ve missed the tales of your houseguest. When I first started reading your post I thought you were talking about a person. That was so hilarious, I’m in tears here. Read it back to yourself just up to stepmom opening the door and imagine its a person.

    Cheers, Chev

  50. Oh Joe thanks for the dec 2006 reminder, I ignored the narnia inf, thanks and went straight to the pictures,,wow, I forgot I could go back to such a nice array. yummo.
    I try not to listen to “talk” radio, opting for the music, when I can find it,(less commercials)(no xm,darn) they generally don’t have anything to hold my interest in their topics. So much of the news today is bad, angry people, not sure what this world is coming to, and don’t like hearing about it, as I am sure many others don’t like also.
    – Love a man in a helmet, looks so ah..Roman,,,gladiator type,lol, thanks for the pictures. 😆

  51. WELCOME BACK DAGWOOD!!!!! Joe might it be possible to get Pete to do a Fan Q.&A.???

  52. And, please, no more live chinchillas. They keep messing up the office.

    Does this mean the gerbils are out too?

  53. 1. No clue 🙁 I’m worthless as a fan now.

    2. Evolution 1 & 2 — it was the device Daniel and Dr. Lee found that can animate non-living tissue and was the precursor to the less-powerful and infinitely more infamous Sarcophagus.

    3. The Curse. It was one of the jars that held either Isis or Osiris.

  54. @ Jay Lewis … I have a geek guest room. Every single wall covered with action figures of all genres and Futurama tin signs. My family of medical skeletons dwell there too. Oddly, I don’t often have overnight guests.

  55. Hi Joe,
    Wow Paul looks funny in that helmet. Glad things are going well with production. That leads me into my question. Are you almost done filming Air or is there still a way to go? Also, i guess you keep alot of the props you use. I mean some of those are several years old. Oh and one more question. Any ides for the season finale yet? Merci beaucoup,
    Major D. Davis

  56. Hey Joe,

    I’m not even guessing on the props. But as for the helmet being too small for YOUR head… I’m gonna take a gander that Carl’s head is bigger than yours. 😛 And that’s my professional, head-sizing opinion.

    @Das: Did you know that there is a convention in Maryland by the name of Shore Leave? And at SAID convention Chris Heyerdahl will be there? I thought you might like to know. 🙂

  57. Hi,

    Just a quick question, can you please tell me whether or not an Al’kesh could fit in either of the Hangar’s of a 304? Thanks very much.

  58. *Laughs* Thanks for answering Joe.

    I know how hard it is to write a Novel. I advise against it, unless you are locked in a room for several weeks with nothing but a laptop that has absolutely no internet access. (I’m homeschooled, and my mom thought it would be fun to get me a curriculum where I have to write an entire novel in 12 weeks. Here’s the catch, I’m not allowed to write Sci-Fi or fantasy. Well, here we are 4 months later, and I am on chapter… 5. )

    Enough of my ramblings, GL with the short, and when in doubt, do what I do. Print everything you have, tear it to tiny pieces, put it in a box, then burn the box. 🙂

  59. @stargatelvr,

    writing something thats not sci fi or fantasy is impossible, i tried. what you can do i think is write it as sci fi at first then replace all the sci fi elements with realistic ones somehow, someone needs to try that 🙂

  60. Ofaite si vous voyez Martin.G , Carl.B , Alex.L, Brad w pouvez vous leurs demander de m’accépter dans facebook =) Merci.

  61. Got it. Scratch the Chinchilla. What are your feelings on Ferrets?

    After watching Stargate on scratchy second rate cable for over 3 years I can hardly tell you what the foreground of an episode was let alone the background.

    But I’m pretty certain the first one is an Ori thermos, the second one is an Ancient Rubix Cube, and the third one is a G’ould trophy for most gold plate to cloth ration worn on an armored G’ould soldier uniform. (It’s actually chocolate inside)

  62. On Watchman: My daughter read the graphic novel and immediately became one of those fanatic devotees who tries to show you why the novel is the best thing ever by flipping back and forth through the pages to show you the symmetry of the images and all the hidden clues. She saw the movie yesterday with great expectations. Her response was “Eh”. She commended them for the look of the movie but felt in the end the movie was too long with too much exposition. Of course, you must realize that one of her favorite movie of all times is Transformers….

    My son saw it too, with no expectation because he hadn’t read the book. His response mirrored his sister’s. He said he liked the beginning, but for the last, almost 2 hours, he found himself more focused on when, if ever, the movie was going to end. Of course, he went to the midnight show and didn’t get out until almost 3 a.m…..

    I’m reading the novel now, but I think I’ll be like you and wait for the DVD.

  63. Joe, do you know who made(where they bought) the candles used for SG1 and SGA.?

  64. @ DAS:

    Do my questions to Joe bother you in some way? If so, live with it because they are only going to increase in intensity.


    Anyways, I believe everyone here is entitled to equal inside information from the man, Joe, and a little annoyance from the kid DAS.

    Take care

  65. Hi Joseph some thoughts on what i would love to see in Stargate Universe.On the Destiny please have at least 1 zpm powering the ship and a full compliment of drone weapons and puddle jumpers.
    Also i know they cant go home but maybe the sgc can dial in the 9th chevron to the destiny and contact them on the ship at least and send them supplies and such if not then tactical updates and news from home maybe using up a zpm to contact them on and off when they can please let them be able to be contacted from home at least.
    Thank You.

  66. Hey Joe,

    Is Carl holding the teaser trailer we will get to see following the BSG finale??

    And isn’t that barney’s little brother egg somebodies hat from the Wormhole X-treme episode?

  67. For the props I’ll go with the remote control for the holoprojector in ‘the light’, the Telchak device from ‘Evolution 1&2’, and the Osiris canopic jar from ‘the curse’.

    How did I do?

    I like your sense of humour and knack for telling it exactly how it is, so I thought you might like this link


    hours of senseless amusement at the expense of our so-called society.

  68. dunno if someones already said this but is pic 1 ariel bochs wristband from that episode hes in (forgotten the name lol)

    pic 2’s the telchak device from evolution

    pic 3’s osoris’s canopy jar from the curse

    howd i do?

  69. We did not feel the earthquake here, we’re just east of Melbourne, near the epicenter. My fiance was playing xbox live with a friend who lives in Pakenham. He apparently told my fiance that his whole house was shaking. We are technically closer to the epicenter than him. My fiance looked around, didn’t notice anything and I had no clue as I had my headphones on, listening to music on my computer. lol. I had no idea it even occurred until my fiance mentioned it in passing the next day. (For some reason he didn’t turn around and nudge me to say, “hey, we’re having an earthquake, do you feel it?” lol) Go figure. 😛

    Apparently, it’s listed as being felt to be a 4.6 in our town with light shaking and little to no damage. People an hour further away felt it…apparently, I need to be a little more observant.

  70. Speaking of Joel Goldmsith…wasn’t he suppose to be sending you back his part of the Q & A?

    i have recently returned to reading some non-fiction. it took me years to start reading non-fic on my own, i mean choosing the titles myself. too many yrs at university being told what to read.
    the last 2 titles i enjoyed are “The Republic of Suffering” by Drew Gilpin and “The Invention of Air” by Steven Johnson. the former looks at the immense death that took place in the American Civil War and how it affected people of the time and their view of death and the body. until that time, many christians thought that the body one had at death was the body one had in the afterlife. so, if you lost your legs in the war or to a farm accident and then died, you didnt get them back in the afterlife. and it also explained how military cemeteries came about (they simply couldnt ship them all home) and how dogtags were developed. for some reason the dogtag story has stayed with me. so many men died and so many companies perished in one battle, that there was often no one around to identify the dead. men used to attach a handwritten note to their clothes with their name on it. some enterprising soul decided to sell small squares of flattened tin -aka thick tin foil- for the soldiers to etch their name on.

    the Invention of Air describes Joseph Priestly, an english minister (aptomyn!), and his discovery of oxygen and the founding of the Unitarian Church and his escaping England to America after the angry hordes burn his house down. there is also quite a bit there about America’s Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson. \
    i know that both books concern American subjects but i would recommend them. they both got me at least once in an “really! thats were it came from” moment. and also, seriously, someone *discovered* air? all classroom science teaching aside, that thought still makes me laugh.

    i still read mostly fiction: mystery, vampire and the occasional sci-fi. have any good non-fiction recs?

  71. @ Trish – Yes, yes…I know. I am still up in the air about it because of not feeling so great these past three months. I’d hate to make plans to go and then die, or something. And then there is the little problem of being terribly embarrassed to meet Chris if I even thought for a sec that he’s ever read anything I’ve said about him, Todd, Druitt, or any other skin he’s been in…especially with my objectifying, and all. 😛

    @ Belouchi – Oh, no…I don’t mind your questions – ask away, seeing as how Mr. M is more apt to answer your Wraithy questions than mine. I just…ya know…get tired of everyone wanting to find a way to kill Wraith, instead of learning to somehow co-exist.

    I mean…can’t we just feed ’em all the perverts, greedy bank CEOs, and corrupt politicians? That would keep them – and me – very happy. 🙂

    In fact, that would be my dream now for Todd…just make him part of the team, and let him suck on all the bad guys they come across. How hard can that be?? Ya know…a rogue Genii here, a murderous thief there – and throw in a Michael experiment gone bad every now and then – and I’m guessing it couldn’t be any harder keeping Todd sated than lying on the floor, hand-feeding Lulu.

    Speaking of Lulu…

    Joe, did you name her after Little Lulu?? Just a’wonderin’…


  72. Hey Joe,

    I thought I’d share something I heard on the radio as I was driving in to work the other day:


    It’s probably contrary to their culture, but do you ever suppose they think “I turned 100 and all I got was this lousy cup??!!”

    So, you’ve probably long since moved on, but I was hoping you could tell us (me) what episodes these lines from your poem referred to:

    The status quo shifts, a power play made.

    The arrival of this one leave some feeling dismayed.

    And this one:

    Call the doctor from Earth to help us take action

    I think the rest were apparent but I couldn’t figure these out and it’s like an itch I can’t scratch. Okay, maybe not, but could you please put me out of my misery. Or at least say that you really have moved on and won’t be going back to the poem, in which case I won’t mention it again. I just need some kind of closure… 🙂

    Thanks Joe!


  73. Is WTF#1 one of the doodads on the table in the facility on P3R-233 (“There but for the Grace of God”, S1 SG-1)?

    As for Chris Brown and other domestic abusers, they should be prosecuted and punished accordingly as well as receiving mandatory anger management/psych treatment as necessary. I’ve got no sympathy or tolerance for that sort of behavior either.

  74. Ah, the joys of our modern society where individuals need no longer be held accountable for their actions and the blame can, instead, be placed squarely on their shitty childhoods, workplace stress, or the fact that they were “having a bad day”.

    I agree to an extent but it also begs the question of whether personal responsibility is innate or whether it’s taught, and whether human beings are a product of their environment or not.

    I just hear the right wing preach a lot about ‘personal responsibility’ and never hear anything about ‘social responsibility’ and it just seems more like an exercise in hand washing than anything else.

    And there’s also the side of the human condition where they’re finding and more about genetics and that people may be genetically predispositioned to certain social behaviours such as with addiction or aggression – though of course there is a ‘nuture’ element in place as well as to whether it will be exhibited.

    So I’m not saying that people should be coddled or be given a pat on the head and sent on their way, but a lot of the time when people exhibit anti-social behaviour they generally haven’t come from stable backgrounds themselves and have been poorly socialised – society can either step in and stop the cycle through government and private agencies etc or we can just wash our hands and live in gated communities.

    On the other hand some people get handed it all and still act out. The scientic term for that is being an asshole.

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