My writing/producing partner Paul walked into my office, plunked himself down on the couch, and started talking about his rewrite on the Judgment script. As he sat there, chatting away, a question immediately popped into my head that had nothing do with the kino or Rush’s character of the big fourth act WTF moment. “What the hell are you wearing?”I asked.
Of course, I already knew the answer. What he was so oh-so-casually sporting was an Ori devotee soldier helmet from the Stargate: Ark of Truth movie. Perhaps the more appropriate questions would’ve been: “Why the hell are you wearing that?”
He jerked his thumb back across the hall to Alex Levine’s old office, now apparently the storehouse for the sundry Stargate-related props that will eventually find their way onto eBay. Paul took off the helmet and headed back out and, as I was trying it on (It was too big for MY head. Read into that what you will.) he returned with a garish purple and turquoise monstrosity. “Let’s test your Stargate knowledge, buddy.” He set it down on my coffee table. “Guess the prop and the episode.”
I had no freaking idea. At first blush, I would have guessed “Barney the dinosaur’s unhatched little brother.” As it turned out, I would have guessed wrong.
I headed over to Alex’s office and checked out the goods, some true masterpieces, others so ugly they hurt my eyes to look at. I snapped a few pics for posterity’s sake (or, as one of my old girlfriends used to say, “for prosperity’s sake”) and also snapped a pic of the gorgeous art pieces lining the top shelf of one of Alex’s bookcases. I’m surprised he forgot to take them with him when he left. Scroll on up and play WTF? Guess the prop and the episode! Try to beat my score of 4 out of a possible 6 points.
Have been on set this week getting some excellent shots that will, I’m hoping, eventually see the light of day – or, at the very least, the weak, vision-blurring luminosity of a computer screen. Unfortunately, I can’t show you photos of the inside of Stage 4, but I can show you a photo I took ON MY WAY TO Stage 4. Check out Carl and Kerry (who, apparently, now spells her name with a “y” although she insists it was always “Kerry” and not “Kerri”) pretending they get along.
So I was driving in this morning, flipping through the various radio stations in search of one that actually played music (alas, they seem to have gone the way of steakums and good Oliver Stone movies) when I happened across the 94.5 FM morning show whose hosts were in discussion with one of those moronic dime-a-dozen self-help you-can-do-it! know-it-alls. You know, the type who feels we need to be more forgiving of the screw-ups and sub-humans that plague our communities (I’m reminded of the idiot pundit who appeared on the morning news the other day to weigh in on the recent court decision to declare some guy who had decapitated a fellow Greyhound bus passenger mentally unfit to stand trial for the murder. He declared the judge’s decision “A great day for the Canadian justice system.”. Okay, I can understand the judge’s argument, but “a great day for the Canadian justice system”? A “great” day? What a tool! But I digress.).
Anyway, today, the topic of conversation was poor, misunderstood Chris Brown. In the estimation of this touchy-feely cretin and the morning show’s co-hosts, Chris Brown was probably just having a bad day and we shouldn’t be so quick to pass judgment on him because, you see, by doing so we make it that much harder to forgive our own perceived transgressions. Pardon me but what a load of shit. We’re not talking about Michael Phelps’s alleged pot smoking or Wesley Snipe’s alleged tax evasion. We’re talking about a guy who, allegedly, beat the crap out of his girlfriend. I mean seriously. This was one of those instances when I wanted to call up the show and warn them about the apparent gas leak in the building that had addled their brains. And the fact that one of said co-hosts was a woman was all the more astounding.
Ah, the joys of our modern society where individuals need no longer be held accountable for their actions and the blame can, instead, be placed squarely on their shitty childhoods, workplace stress, or the fact that they were “having a bad day”. It’s a forgiving world where wife-beaters and violent offenders are considered victims in their own right, idiots are free to sue restaurants for making surprisingly hot coffee, and celebrities who stand in the middle of busy Hollywood intersections screaming at the passing motorists can be forgiven because they are, according to their publicists, merely suffering from fatigue. “Oooh, I’m exhausted. I think I’ll go stand in traffic. In fact, I’m so tired, I might even do it with my pants down. Soooo sleeeeeepy.”
Mailbag:
Ben writes: “Do you think short stories make better films?”
Answer: I don’t know if short stories necessarily make better feature fodder, but given that they are necessarily less detailed then novels, they do free up the filmmaker to make creative contributions that tend to be more original and personal.
duneknight writes: “now what is easier to do: write a book or make a movie?”
Answer: Movie.
AussieSGFan writes: “Have they got a score for ‘Universe’ yet? Will Joel Goldsmith be composing again?”
Answer: Yes, we’re fortunate to have Joel Goldsmith back doing the honors. He’s working on something as we speak.
Deni B. writes: “Joe! Thank you! How the hell did you know it’s my birthday?”
Answer: Let’s just say a little birdie told me. Via email.
Shawna writes: “The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe – I went into this with high expectations and was not disappointed.”
Answer: Egads. Then, whatever you do, DO NOT check out this link – http://josephmallozzi.com/2006/12/31/december-30-2006/
AV Eddy writes: “Thanks for the Watchmen review. Your take is about what I heard on NPR today.”
Answer: That wasn’t my review nor was it my take. It was my commentary on adaptations prompted by some of the Watchmen reviews I’ve read. I’ve yet to see the movie and do fully intend to.
Annie from Freemantle writes: “So on the topic of movies vs books… what do you think of Stephen King’s movies compared to his books? (in my opinion the movies don’t capture King’s tongue in cheek humour).”
Answer: I’ve read neither book but loved The Shining and Misery.
Narelle from Aus writes: “Joe, with your experience writing this short story, do you believe that writing a novel would be easier or harder?”
Answer: Much harder. Given that it’s taken me five months (and counting) to write this short story, I imagine it would take most of my natural life to actually complete a novel.
Christelle writes: “I found A new Gustative experience ! a flaky pastry of “Roquefort”, bananas, and bitter chocolate, from Pierre Hermé.”
Answer: Hmmm. Not so sure about the Roquefort. Then again, I wasn’t sure about the foie gras macaron and ended up loving.
Iberostar writes: “Just wanted to add that there are various versions of the Blade Runner movie out there. The original one had a voice-over with Harrison Ford narrating. He was Deckard explaining the world he lived in. The next version, the director cut that out – it always bothered him – I think I recall he was asked to add it after intitial screenings. Now there is a Final Director’s cut, no voice-over and a different ending. (personally, I didn’t find it worth watching).”
Answer: My writing partner, Paul, and I were discussing the different versions of Blade Runner the other day. I always assumed their were just two: the original version with the voice-over and tacked-on happy ending (Hey, it turns out Rachael was special!) and the director’s cut with the dreamy unicorn sequence that, like the book, inferred Deckard was a replicant himself. Guess which version I preferred?
Stargatelvr writes: “ I didn’t know you had a Facebook Joe. Why don’t you use it anymore?”
Belouchi writes: “Well couldn’t they like use it as a booby trap weapon to eliminate several hives.”
Answer: Because they already used it as a booby trapped weapon by giving it to Camulus.
Ahem writes: “What is it with you and Joe Flanigan? Why no Q&A? Did you ask him and he declined? Do you think he’s like RDA — not the Q&A type? You don’t like him? He doesn’t like you? What?”
Answer: Never asked him.
Green writes: “What search term do I type in to find out your current snail mail address for sending you stuffs?”
Answer: Type in –
Joseph Mallozzi
c/o Stargate Universe
2400 Boundary Road
Burnaby, BC V5M 3Z3
See what comes up. And, please, no more live chinchillas. They keep messing up the office.
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