L.A. is a go. Paul and I booked our flight and hotel this afternoon. We’ll be flying out Sunday afternoon and getting in a little after 6:00 p.m., which should give us plenty of time to enjoy a leisurely dinner, unwind, and prep for three glorious days of meetings. Some time between now and then, our agent would like us to run through the pitches with them, I assume to ensure we don’t make any egregious errors in the delivery:
Me: I came up with the idea for this movie after killing a homeless guy last summer…
Agent: Uh, let’s start again and this time avoid mentioning any past crimes you may have committed.
Me: Okay, the idea for this story came to me one night after I’d drunk a half bottle of absinthe and injected some heroin directly into my eyeball. Now…
Agent: Yeah, I’m going to have to stop you right there. Like I said, avoid talking about any past crimes you may have committed.
Me: But I thought they legalized absinthe since they stopped making it with wormwood.
Agent: I was actually referring to the part about mainlining heroin into your eyeball.
Me: Oh. Oh, right! Well, okay. I would describe this movie as Larks on a String meets The Color of Pomegranates. Anyway, what happens is…
Agent: Whoa whoa whoa. What are those?
Me: They’re movies.
Agent: Could’ve fooled me. Try to stick with movies anyone not living in Armenia may have heard of.
Me: Okay. I’d describe this movie as a cross between Dracula 3000 and Leprechaun 3.
Agent: Try again.
Me: Lindsay Lohan’s I Know Who Killed Me and the much-improved Vince Vaughn version of Psycho.
Agent: One more time.
Me: The two other horror movies I’m going to pitch out after this one.
Agent: Good enough. Keep going…
And so on. I’ll let you all know how the run-thru goes.
Speaking of prep, I’ve narrowed my Tokyo restaurant list down to 55. Sadly, having given it some thought, I’ve come to realize that even with early and late lunches, 30 is about as many as I’ll be able to pull off, especially if I plan on doing anything besides eating while I’m there.
Hey, as promised here are some behind-the-scene snaps from one of our upcoming episodes. Who does the car belong to and how the hell does it fit into the Pegasus-bound premise of our show? Hey, good question. I can’t wait to find out myself.