Well, it’s been two days since I last heard from my Nigerian pen pal. I fear that he has left this cruel, cruel world for a far better place – or, at the very least, a more gullible and less loquacious patsy. And it was while I was mourning the loss of dear old Ali (Sure he may have been trying to scam me for my banking information, but he did provide us with days of entertaining reading), that I received yet another highly suspicious yet delightfully inelegant business proposal.

The email, titled “PLEASE HELP ME AND MY MUM” was from a Michael Ansah, address unknown, who, like Ali, has had life (and, coincidentally, the Nigerian oil business) deal him a rough hand: father poisoned by business associate, discovery of hidden banking information, $14.8 million in trust, red tape, need foreign partner, cut me in for 30%, living with an old lady named Mrs. Caroline Kwesi who works as a gardener. Them’s the short, sad strokes. And so, touched by his tale of woe and in response to his request for my mobile number which he could use to contact me, I wrote back:

“Dear Michael,

Talk about perfect timing! My business partner and I are in the process of getting to work on a project specifically tailored to meet the needs of individuals like you. Ali is a cautious fellow as he has been burned by fate and Nigerian militants alike, but he has enormous wealth in search of a good cause. He may be reluctant to get involved at first, but he has a big heart and all he needs is some gentle but sustained encouragement. Don’t take no for answer and you will be richly rewarded. I know was. Feel free to contact him, Al Abbas, at…(and I included the mobile number Ali sent me in one of his later emails).


Aloysius P. Hazzencockle”

I really hope it works out for those two.

A wind-down day for me. Highlights included: going over the script one more time before sending it off, heading back to Fuel for their chorizo sandwich and red onion rings, and reading half of Reaper Man out in the backyard with the dogs and getting a sunburn. With a little over a week to go before I head back to the office, I can finally relax. Or, I can get to work on those short stories I’ve been thinking about.

Today’s pics: Another set of highlights – these from our recent visit to the Sha Lin Noodle House – pork and chive dumplings and the dragging curry noodles.

On to the mailbag –

Flying Fig writes: “So, did you (or do you plan to see) the movie Transformers?”

Answer: Not dying to see it.

Bugguy writes: “Have you ever seen or watched ReGenesis?”

Answer: Nope.

David Gian-Cursio writes: “You only just saw Blade: Trinity now?”

Answer: Ever since I had the home theater installed, I do all of my movie-watching at home. I DVR’d Trinity because it was on the dish and because I think David S. Goyer is a very talented guy.

Crh writes: “Is there any “low-brow” food that you would consider a guilty pleasure to be eaten only under the cover of darkness?”

Answer: Ribs, wings, and a deep-fried Mars bars.

Mackenziesmomma writes: “What are you MOST looking forward to after hiatus?”

Answer: The winter hiatus.

Prior of the Ori writes: “Will Carter get a face to face encounter with a Wraith in the new season?”

Answer: She will.

Johnny E! writes: “You got some reading recomendations for my wife?”
Wanna B e writes: “Would your recommendations for a Sci-Fi novice reader change if I asked you specifically for books with strong characterization?”

Answer: For solid scifi with a great female protagonist, might I suggest City of Pearl by Nancy Traviss. Iain M. Banks’s Consider Phlebas is also an outstanding read.

Anonymous #2 writes: “ How have you been? I haven’t been doing so well this week…been kinda sad.”

Answer: Cheer up! Summer’s here and the season four premiere of Atlantis fast approaches.

65 thoughts on “July 5, 2007

  1. Hey Joe, I only recently stumbled across your blog and I must say that it has been quite enjoyable for me. I made sure to go back and catch up on what i’ve been missing out on. It inspired to me to create my own account and get rolling on this blogging business. I will admit I used the same template because I thought it suited me best. Not too original but you gotta go with what works for you.

    Anyway, I was wondering if you had a least favorite script of SG-1 or Atlantis that you and Paul worked on.

    Love the direction you’re taking the show, I eagerly await season four.

  2. I seem to have resurrected the wireless keyboard. Apparently the problem was not so much the tea as the cat hair and crumbs that it served as the glue for. Yuck!

  3. David Gian-Cursio writes: “You only just saw Blade: Trinity now?”

    Answer: Ever since I had the home theater installed, I do all of my movie-watching at home. I DVR’d Trinity because it was on the dish and because I think David S. Goyer is a very talented guy.

    Goyer? Talented? Maybe on some things but, you must not have watched that abysmal Blade: The Series show he produced in Vancouver last year! What a piece of garbage! When he is bad, he is really bad! (Trinty was terrible also.)

  4. Prior of the Ori writes: “Will Carter get a face to face encounter with a Wraith in the new season?”

    joe/Answer: “She will.”

    me: WOO HOO!!

    sorry, those wraith are just scary looking so i’m looking forward to seeing sam’s reaction to one. :p

    sally 😀

  5. Well, when Transformers comes out on DVD, you ought to consider renting it or some such— you may be pleasantly surprised. It’s not a slave to the original(s), but it doesn’t do them a disservice either. To be honest, it was fleshed out like an almost like an entirely original concept, not some kind of knock-off.

  6. Hey Joe

    Glad to hear you are having a relaxing hiatus. Hopefully the weather cooperates too. I’ve been wondering if Carter will be making any drastic or otherwise changes to day to day operations. Will we see any sort of learning curve now that she is in command of the entire expidition instead of an away team?

  7. I hope you’re using a different silly name in your actual e-mails. I’d hate it if “Ali” or “Michael” ended up being the type of scammer to look up their new friend, Aloysius P. Hazzencockle.

    I think we’d all be pretty upset if we read a newspaper story titled “Nigerian Mafia Breaks ‘Stargate’ Producer’s Legs.”

    On the other hand, as I understand, they only do that sort of thing if you really piss them off. So just as long as you don’t send them a piece of commemorative flocking after telling them it’s gold bullion, you and Aloysius should be fine.

  8. Hey, Joe,

    Thanks for the pics of Joe Flanigan from the other day. He is yummy, isn’t he?

  9. You’re holding out on me, Joe. I think this really means that I have to give up hope for the Gorillas, doesn’t it? That’s too bad… it would have made for some fantastic TV… though I suppose it might be little difficult to find talking Gorillas that are a part of whatever union is it that Canadian actors are part of…

    So, is it season premier time yet?

    Take care,
    Ayla McKay
    Nova Scotia

  10. Hi Joe, This is really a comment on the July 4th blog. Just wanted to thank you for the pics of Joe Flanigan. I think since I complained when there weren’t any – I should let you know these were appreciated. Of course more would be more appreciated. Thanks!

  11. Joe,
    You really should check out Regenesis, at least seasons 1 and 2, season 3 not so good. Once you start you’ll love it. The best part is the science is pretty spot on. See what you think and report back.

  12. Do you ever read novels based on movies or TV shows, like the Star Wars or Star Trek novels? I’ve read some and some of them are pretty good. One or two have been mind-numbingly boring, of course, but that’s too be expected.

  13. Hi Joe,
    I can’t help myself I’ve got to say it! To me a ‘hiatus’ is a form of ‘hernia.’
    I take it what you are referring to when you are “on a hiatus” is a:-
    Days off
    Retreat and or escape
    Or is this something peculiar to over worked script writers.
    In which case, I’m going to get myself a hiatus.
    Next week I am on two weeks annual leave of which I will be spending three days visiting London and the British Museum. If I find any nice chocolate shops I’ll be sure and pick you up some bizarre flavour! OMG just realised its 02.45 and I’m on duty in a few hours. Enjoy your sunbathing; it hasn’t stopped raining in England for about three weeks!

  14. I can’t believe you just recommended City of Pearl by Nancy Traviss. I just finished reading it and was going to recommend it to you. What a wonderful book. My husband read it first, so it’s not just for women. Real aliens and solace for my shipper heart.

    He also read and loved Old Man’s War, and now it’s my turn. Your blog is our new spot for finding good books.

    And those pics of Joe F were just icing on the cake. For me anyway. He put in a request for Claudia Black, but you can forget I said anything.

  15. After having my dentist talk me into having all 4 wisdom teeth removed instead of just one, I wanted to thank you for giving me something to look forward to. I love tuning in to your blog every day — pictures, great food, books recs (Old Man’s War was fabulous!) and scamming the scammers. Granted, the whole tooth thing wasn’t as bad as some of the worst-case scenarios I was treated to before hand, but my mouth still aches, and your blog is one of the things that makes me smile. So thanks, and keep up the good work!

  16. Am I the only one who thinks that Aloysius P. Hazzencockle sounds dirty? Seriously, I could see a future adult film star with that name. Or do you have a confession to make to us?

    Anyhow, have you ever been Kelowna, my place of residence? Any good food joints you’ve been to (if you’ve been) in K-Town?

  17. Ribs, wings, and a deep-fried Mars bars.

    Ah, deep-fried Mars Bars. That takes me back a bit to misspent youth. Ever tried deep-fried Creme Eggs?

  18. Great Scott Joe – What’s up with the mail, and the blog?? I come here for the snarky vitriol and the past few days the blog and mail bag have been just anemic. Is it the hiatus that has you off your snark??

  19. Wow! There must be a lot of millionaires dead or dying in Nigeria. I had no idea the rank and file of the oil workers did so well.

    A U.S. Naval officer in San Diego just got sentenced to jail for embezzling ship funds to pay the “fees” to receive a very similar inheritance in Nigeria:


    Officers are required to have college degrees, but apparently that doesn’t guarantee actual thought.

  20. Got a question Joe. I bought the Stargate SG-1: Celebration of 10 Years book and it’s supposedly signed by one cast member and one member of the crew. So…I think I have a book with Claudia’s autograph as well as my favorite blogger (yes you) I was wondering if you’d take a peek and verify for me if that is indeed your scrawl and whether you believe the bottom scrawl is Claudia…thanks a bunch and love your blog!


  21. 1.)Although it has been inferred and Brad has said that the Athosians are the fathers of the Replicators, will it ever be completely explained in the show, for example: if the Asurans created Reese which in turn created the Replicators, then the Replicators destroyed the Asurans-wouldn’t that make the Asurans not much of a threat if we destroyed the Replicators, and the Replicators can destroy the Asurans?
    2.)In Continuum, is Jack O’Neill the real Jack O’Neill or is it an AU Jack O’Neill?
    3.)Why is there such reluctance in bringing in Ford for another episode?
    4.)Do you know anything about Brad and Rob’s new Stargate spin-off that you just won’t tell us yet, or have they not told you anything yet?

  22. Hi there Joe – will Sam Carter’s experience as leader of SG-1 play a part in her command style of Atlantis or is it going to be shown more as a whole new experience/learning experience the way Jack’s was when made General and head of the SGC. Thanks a heap for all the pics and insights to your show.


  23. Hey joe! glad to hear that you may have been able to help out young michael with his business dealings.

    QOTD- fireworks are you for or against them?

  24. Joe,

    Are you guys concerned that season four seems to be all about Carter, love her or hate her, for most fans?

  25. Is there oil in Nigeria?

    Like crazymom I have the cat hair problem, well not so much the hair as the cat sitting on the keyboard when I am trying to read your blog at breakfast time.

    If you ever write a novel you could plug it shamelessly on your own website and get pictures of the dog to help. Some guy… David something is doing it with his film. 🙂

  26. Have you thought of adding a historian/archealogist type of character to SGA? It seems that one or even a team of them would be needed to correctly archive any information on new societies they discovered. The character of Daniel Jackson on SG-1 really emphasized that. A women historian would be nice. 😉

  27. Have you ever come across someone walking down the street, etc. and thought “if that person could act, he or she (as the case may be) would be perfect for the role of…” on the show?

  28. Hi there Joe!

    Thanks ever so much for the Joe F. pics yesterday. They were much appreciated!

    I’m loving the scams you’re getting and the replies you’re giving. You could collect all these together in a book. That would be a fun read!!

  29. Hey Joe, I don’t know if you’ll get to this question or not (if not, I’ll just repeated again tomorrow), but Rob Cooper’s recent interview with Gateworld here says that:

    Our intention is, when we’re done [with] that, in mid-June [2007], to jump on a script for the pilot of the third series.

    So…do you know if they kept to their plans and have began really working on Universe?

  30. Your pictures from the 4th were just great. Joe looked fabulous in the suit (speaking of, will we see John in his dress blues this 4th season?) and Jelly! That picture is just priceless.

    Alas for the loss of one pen pal, but I look forward the possibility of reading the records of a new one.

  31. Does Teal’c regain the years he lost in Unending after the events of Continuum?

  32. After taking 2 disappointing classes on science fiction literature (one was too basic-assigning every book I read in middle school, the other too narrow-only dystopic “feminist” novels), I was hoping you could recommend me some good books to read. Aside from “Consider Phlebas” and “City of Pearl,” are there any other SF books you would recommend with strong female protagonists? I’d also be up for some more fun, action, and/or comedic offerings. Thanks.

  33. Salut joseph!!
    Encors une belle journée qui commence, enfin je l espert..!
    =}Une personne vous a envoyer un autre email, baah dit donc, si seulement une seul personne, pourrais guerrir tous les maux du monde.
    =} Au sujet de Dog’s Breakfast je trouve se film vraiment génial et mes amis aussi!
    Vous savez comment les étrangers peuvent se procurer se film??
    =}Hier j ai eu 150 commentaire sur mon blog^^! C est cool!

    =} J ai une autre question?
    vous aimeriez bien êtres un dieux??
    Car j ai deja fait devenir une personne un dieux..je ne sais pas pourquoi je divinise certaine personne!? Mais c est comme ça!
    =}Je en sais pas où vous êtes s il fait beau temp!! Mais ici c est horrible, nous somme le 6 juillet et il a fait soleil une foix depuis 15 jours, se n’est pas normal! mais nous savons tous pour quoi le temp et aussi étrange, on à ce qu on mérite.

    Bon aller je vais y aller!
    Bisou! A demain!Passer une bonne journée!
    Vive notre Dieux Joeseph (je rigole XD)

  34. Joe, Joe, Joe. A man of your evilness, above all people, should know better than to read outside without stopping to apply sunscreen several times. Red totally undoes the effect of the dapper suit.

    And I’m with you on the home theater thing. I’m dying to see the new Harry Potter movie and find it so strange to have to figure out what time I’d need to leave my home to get to a theater.

    Also, I realize that you work hard to cultivate your godfatherly persona, but I think you might have stumbled upon a good deed with our Nigerian friends. If only all those people in trouble could get together, they could help each other out of their messes.

    The Red Cross would be so proud! ::sniff::

  35. Joe, quick question, do you ever look over the blogs of people commenting on yours?

    I’m sitting here in darkest Cornwall watching SG1 New Order Part2 on Sky One. AmandaTapping is one hell of a talent but whats the deal with the DeLuise dynasty? have they ALL appeared in SG1? Urgo was a classic, I love watching the dude in the background trying not to react to Urgo not really being there, it cracks me up everytime.

  36. Joe

    Can you believe it.. A naval officer falling for one of these scams? A comment on your interview… Wow Joe you must have the power.. With your request to have 5000 or more of our friends watch SG1 and SGA.. just look at how the ratings rose. Man you have the power.. Keep up the good work..

    Have a great weekend


  37. Hi Joe:

    If you could have one superpower what would it be and what is the craziest thing you have even done on a dare…

    Have a great weekend!

  38. Ok ive got a few odd ball questions for you.

    1. Season 1 of Atlantis had kind of a dark/erie feel to it. With the introduction of the Wraith. Now i work alot in studio with Heavy Metal artists so im a huge fan of the “hair standing up on the back of your neck” feeling. Will we get more of that feeling in Season 4?

    2. But is there any Heavy Metal fans on SGA or Sg-1? If so, Who?
    (I could see Jason Momoa at a Slipknot concert haha)

  39. If you like deep fried Mars bars, you should definately come to Scotland. We deep fry everything here…
    Did you ever watch Dark Angel? I really like Jensen Ackles and it would be great to see him in a future episode. Just in case you’re stuck for guest stars 😉

  40. Your emails to the Nigerian people are just hilarious. They brighten up my day. Keep it up!

  41. Hey Joe, incase no one has mentioned this yet, thanks for the pics of The Flan the other day. Any chance we can get more of Col. Sheppard in a suit next season? Shirt can be optional.

  42. My brother has seen all of Cowboy Bebop and said he likes it. He also likes most of Samurai Champloo, but thought some episodes were a little strange. He hasn’t watched Berserk, but thought he would like it too. Any other anime recommendations?

  43. Can’t wait for the premiere! It sounds really interesting. I have to say that I’m especially looking forward to Miller’s Crossing, because of the whole sibling aspect. Rodney seems to be the only one with siblings (as far as we know!) and that always makes for an interesting time! Can’t wait to see it…well, and the rest of season 4, of course! 🙂

    Now for a question…What is a storyline/arc/etc that you’d really like to do but can’t due to time/money/etc?

  44. “Are you guys concerned that season four seems to be all about Carter, love her or hate her, for most fans?”

    Hey Anonymous – can you direct us to the proof of this statement – I would love to see where the statistical facts are set out that “most” fans either love or hate Carter.

  45. Crazy question(s) — so how did you end up in this line of work. Did you always want to be a sci fi writer? What did you study at University?

    Second question – need any cute toddlers for SGA? I have a three year-old daughter who will run up to you with a toy sword and announce, “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!” – I think she would be a perfect mini-Teyla!

  46. Sorry Joe, but this post is actually for Erin and Jim. Darren has posted signatures on G.W. to help those who purchased the book determine who’s signatures they have. He posted Brad’s, Joe’s, Michael’s, Amanda’s, Chris’, and Claudia’s. He’s still looking for a few others.

    I know Erin is already very familiar with Michael’s – “I LOVE YOU MICHAEL!” Sorry Erin but you’re never going to live that down. Regarding your signature Joe, have you ever considered being a Doctor?

  47. A home theater sounds nice! What kind of TV/projector do you have?

    Season 4 IS fast approaching. How exciting! September will probably be here faster than we would like though.

    Have a good day!

  48. Joe, thanks so much for the pics of Joe Flanigan you posted the other day!!

    anonymous said: “Are you guys concerned that season four seems to be all about Carter, love her or hate her, for most fans?”

    1) I don’t know where you got the idea about season 4 being all about Carter. I guess you must not be reading the spoilers for s4, because if you had read them, you wouldn’t be asking this. I suggest searching for these spoilers on line. There you’ll see that season 4 has episodes focused on every character as well as team episodes, so there’s nothing that implies it will be a Carter-centric season at all.

    2) Carter is a love her or hate her character? That’s news to me. Some people I know like her very much, others not very much, and others are neutral. I’d love to see the marketing research you’ve done to arrive to your conclusion so please, share it. Thanks in advance!

  49. We need shep in his dress uniform. Now that would be a good look. But good luck getting Joe’s hair to stay down and be all airforce-like..

    To anonymous, the other anonymous didn’t say most people love or hate carter, he/she said whether you love her or hate her, all people seem to be talking about is Carter.

    I’d have to agree with that.

    I’m in the not liking her very much camp.

    My favourite character is gone, my least favourite from SG1 is in, and my second favourite from SGA, it seems, is no longer head of the military on Atlantis.

    And that sucks. It sucks big-time.

  50. Hey Joe, do you know if the names of the first two Earth ships Daedalus and Prometheus on Stargate were inspired by Robotech? The Lantean warships also bear semblance to the SDF-1/Macross ship.. Just curious if you or the other writers are fans of Robotech or Macross?

  51. Hi Joe, I just saw the sneek peak programming schedule for Comic-Con, and it only lists the SGA panel. Has the SG1 panel been cancelled, or was it just not included in the sneek peak?

  52. I just finished reading Part 2 of Robert Cooper’s “New Directions” interview with GW. I was disappointed that GW did not delve deeper into Cooper’s statement in Part 1 that SCI FI believes that major cast changes in an ongoing series can be detrimental. As Cooper is one of SGA’s creators, he must have OK’d the changes regarding Beckett, Weir and Carter. Did SCI FI express any concern, or were they not consulted?

  53. I just thought I’d recommend reading Pratchett’s The Hogfather before watching the film, because although I really do recommend watching the film, I found it much more enjoyable to read the book first. Just my experience though.

    Can you please tell me if in season 4 we will have a fight scene between several F-302s and Puddle-jumpers with Wraith darts. Also is there any way that we might see more than the amount of F-302s that the ships can accomodate, because it would be awesome to see a repeat of the Lost City but in space. And with puddle jumpers in support you could have a huge firefight.

    Thank you.

  54. Joe,

    I have to admit that I’m confused about something that Ben said in the Stargate Official Magazine regarding season 10. Ben said that there were no Mitchell centered episodes in season 10, but that there are Sam episodes (note plural), Teal’c episodes (note plural), and Vala episodes. He didn’t mention Daniel, but it could be that he considered “The Shroud” to be a team episode (alot of people do).

    Maybe you can enlighten me because the only Teal’c episode I remember is “Talion”, the only Sam episode I remember is “Road Not Taken”, but there were alot of Vala episodes. I could have sworn that “Uninvited” was a Mitchell bonding with Landry episode and I know that “Bounty” (the quicker picker upper) episode was a Mitchell episode. I would assume that an episode about Mitchell’s high school reunion at Mitchell’s parent’s house is about MITCHELL, but maybe it was a Sam episode and I’m just confused. I mean Sam along with Daniel and Teal’c might have been in the episode for at least 5 minutes so……. now that I think about it Sam, Daniel and Teal’c were the only things that I liked about that episode. I guess I just need to remember to use those rose colored glasses a little more often.

  55. My kitty Gracie has been very ill this week. Though she is still recovering, I am pleased that I was able to bring her home today.

  56. Hi, Joe. Let’s say you’re a recent college graduate and had one job offer but no others, because you haven’t applied anywhere. In five weeks the real world will bash down your door and kick you in the face with a steel-toed sneaker. Do you take the job even though people you trust say you can probably do better if you just can wait a little bit, or do you start reinforcing the door?

    Also, I just saw Conversion for the first time, and it was fabulous (yeah, I came kind of late to season 2). Are there plans for Col. Caldwell to come back, or is it all Col. Ellis, these days? Unless, something has happened to the dear colonel between the rest of season 2 and the first half of season 3 and I just haven’t got there yet. In which case, I don’t wanna know.

  57. Anonynous said:

    To anonymous, the other anonymous didn’t say most people love or hate carter, he/she said whether you love her or hate her, all people seem to be talking about is Carter.

    I’d have to agree with that.

    Yeah, lots of on-line fans do seem to be talking about Carter. And I suspect that a certain number of on-line fans who don’t even like Carter, who never really watched SGA, will watch it now just so they can continue to vent about how bad she is and how much they dislike her.

    I’m in the not liking her very much camp.

    My favourite character is gone, my least favourite from SG1 is in, and my second favourite from SGA, it seems, is no longer head of the military on Atlantis.

    And that sucks. It sucks big-time.

    Oh, I have faith that you’ll be able to handle all the suckiness this has caused in your life.

  58. *waves*

    I’m feeling very restless. And i’m getting on my own nerves now. LoL. I

    Any suggestions? Anything you can say to keep me out of trouble would be gratefully appreciated. :o)


  59. Anonymous said…
    I have a three year-old daughter who will run up to you with a toy sword and announce, “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!”

    Awesome! You are getting your daughter off to a wonderful start in life! 😀 (She has good taste in movies for a 3 year old! :D)

  60. Regarding Carson…please, I need spoilers before I die! Will his return episode leave us fans happy? Will it make up for his unfair demise? Will he be in any other episodes after that? His death killed me! (sniff)

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.