Those of your who bothered to read yesterday’s blog entry know all about the heart-rending email I received from the poor unfortunate who reached out to me from his death-bed in Argentina to request my help in founding an orphanage in his name. I was touched. Touched by the prospect of granting a dying man’s request. Touched by the prospect of helping the children. And, of course, VERY touched by the prospect of receiving 25% of the $38.5 million dollars this sad, heirless soul would be leaving behind [Please see last issue. Editor.]. Well, I sent poor (in the figurative sense only) Ali a response, informing him that I would love to help out in any way I could. And, miracles of miracles, I received another email from him this morning:
I have received your mail, i really appreciate your concern to my ill-health and your willingness to help to set up the orphanage foundation and for the needy, may the ALMIGHTY ALLAH bless you.
Meanwhile i need your truthfulness towards this work of humanity since im now in my sick bed and cannot undertake this foundation myself .I will need from you to forward me your personal informaton of passpot and bank ,your home address and your tellphone number. As soon as i recieves this i will forward your information to the bank to transfer the money to you as my next of kin.
I am waiting to hear from you as soon as possible .
Yes. Yes! By all means, let’s get started on helping those troubled tykes. I drafted the following response and sent it on its way:
Good to see you are strong enough to write back! Given how sick you sounded, I was afraid that dearth would claim you before we had the chance to break ground on that orphanage. Speaking of which, I wanted to quickly run some possible orphanage names by you:
Hazzencockle’s Home for Wayward Youth
Aloysius P. Hazzencockle’s Gift to the Children
Aloysius et. Al’s Kid Crib
I’m working on a few more, but let me know if you have any ideas of your own or would be okay with one of the aforementioned suggestions.
Regarding the banking request – I invested $10 000 with the heir of a crown prince of Nigeria a few months ago and am concerned that I may have been scammed, so I have to be very cautious in my internet dealings. That said, your request comes at a good time as I was recently informed that I am the winner of $10 million in the U.K. Lottery, money I could use to help co-fund the orphanage!
I will be going to Europe to deliver the cash necessary to free up the funds (and pick up my winnings!) and since I’ll be in the area, would it be possible to meet up? I could deliver the documents then.
I don’t travel much so I’m not familiar with foreign lands (I assume they speak English in England? I’m not sure.) but I was wondering how close you are to the area? How long would it take you to drive from Argentina to Hounslow? If it’s out of your way, maybe I can hop on a train and meet you for the afternoon instead. I have heard many lovely things about Argentina and would love to get my picture taken with a koala bear. If this can be arranged, it would be dandy.
Aloysius P. Hazzencockle”
Kids and koalas aside, I was able to make a return trip to Monde Chocolat yesterday for another little chocolate run. Now I’m not a fan of white chocolate (which, technically, isn’t chocolate at all), but Fondy is and she picked up some of the house white chocolate bark with almonds the last time she was in. She ended up finishing the entire square in one sitting – and with my help no less. Under intense questioning, owner Karlo Flores revealed that the white chocolate used is very special in that, unlike most white chocolates, it is conched (the final step in the chocolate-making process in which the chocolate is massaged and kneaded for days to achieve a smoother texture and creamier product, mellowing out any acidic tones.), which is why it possesses such an invitingly creamy, buttery finish. I picked up two more squares in addition to a coconut and cashew variation. I also picked up 7 new selections from the Zotter line. Check ’em out: lemon polenta, paradise apples + liquid olives, beetroot with galingale, saffron rice, apple balsamic vinegar, organic beer, and date-shiitake. Of the ones I’ve tasted, I’d have to say my favorite is none. Call me old-fashioned, but I think I’ll stick with the bacon bits bar.
WayBeyondSoccerMom writes: “Hey, care to comment on the movie currently in post production that Martin Gero is producing, writing, and directing called “Young People F**king”?”
Answer: The movie was written by Martin Gero and long-time friend Aaron Abrams (for pics of AA, check out my second annual chocolate party blog entry), starring Aaron, and directed by Marty G. Yes, it’s a departure from the scifi genre – more F**king than wraith-blasting – but you won‘t have to be a fan of Martin to enjoy the movie. A funny and telling commentary on contemporary relationships. And then they all get culled at the end.
PG15 writes: “Would you or the rest of the writers create a gay or bi character on Atlantis?”
Answer: How do you know we haven’t already?
Mackenziesmomma writes: “I am going to be up in vancouver near the end of the month visiting my canadian heritage, where would you suggest i get some good sushi up there?”
Answer: It’s hard to go wrong in Vancouver. However, my favorites are Tojos and Yujis.
ChevronSeven writes: “Hey, Joe, I tore a ligament in my foot. Do I get a dedication?”
Answer: Yes. I dedicate this blog entry to ChevronSeven. But you’ll have to share it with Anonymous #7 who got an ouchy sliding into second base yesterday afternoon.
Jessica writes: “Will the “Common Ground” Wraith ever get a name, say Steve Jr. or something?”
Answer: How about Todd?
Patricia writes: “What are your plans for Canada Day? Are you doing anything patriotic?”
Answer: I’m doing my part to help the Canadian economy by working on my script.
Vecturist writes: “I know comic con is still a few weeks away, but do you have a list of restaurants you plan to try, or would you like some recommendations?”
Answer: I’d love some recommendations.
Anonymous #1 writes: “Has there ever been any consideration for an episode dedicated entirely to the B-Team of either Atlantis or SG-1?”
Answer: We did it in SG-1. It was an episode titled The Other Guys. And then there was Proving Ground. We have no plans to do a similar story on Atlantis.
Anonymous #2 writes: “With all the suggestions for scifi books, I’m a little sad that nobody seems to read Ray Bradbury anymore.”
Answer: I re-read The Martian Chronicles just last year.
NZ Jackie writes: “Is there one episode of SG1 that you would re-do…?”
Answer: I can only pick one?
Linzi writes: “I just heard SciFi have announed September 28th for the premiere of season 4. Will SciFi be world premiering (is that a word?) Adrift?”
Answer: Yes. Sci Fi will be airing the First-Time Anywhere World Premiere of Atlantis’s fourth season. First episode up: Adrift.
Lanzo writes: “They laid me off of my job yesterday. I don’t know why, but I just felt the need to tell you that.”
Answer: Sorry to hear that, Lanzo. Hopefully a new opportunity will be coming your way soon.
Farscapefan writes: “Could you please tell me how big, or perhaps rather how small Claudia Black’s part is in Continuum movie, so I can decide whether to buy this DVD or not…”
Answer: Just big enough to make you want to buy the DVD.
Firefly827347 writes: “I was watching kids TV with my 4 year old nephew (my mother forced me, honest) and flicked over to see that Mona the Vampire was on (it was about a pixie, sorry I can’t be more specific…) and in the end credits the name Joseph Mallozzi popped up. 😀 How many eps did you do?”
Answer: Mona the Vampire was one of the shows I developed for television. I story-edited the first couple of seasons and wrote about a third of the episodes. Then the anti-vampire threads started appearing on the various Mona forums and it just got to be too much for me so I moved on to the calmer waters of Flying Rhino Junior High.