The first time I suspected my wife was trying to kill me was about four years ago when we were still living in Vancouver’s Yaletown district. I remember walking into the kitchen to get a drink when I noticed a half-filled spring water bottle sitting by the sink. “Is this okay to drink?”I asked Fondy. She was so focused on sautéing up our lunch that she glanced over as she replied: “Yes.” Now, you may think it a strange thing to ask but Fondy has always been a bit of a germophobe, always quick to lecture me on the dangers of eating or drinking anything that has been sitting around for more than three days. Had this particular bottle of water passed the 3-day “don’t go there” point? Fondy seemed somewhat distracted on my first attempt, so I tried again: “Is this okay to drink?” “Yes!”she snapped back, this time offering an annoyed look back before redirecting her attention back to the stove. Satisfied, I uncapped the bottle and took a nice, long drink. It was until the second swallow that I became fully aware of the brackish taste at which point the realization hit me: it wasn’t water. “Don’t drink it! Don’t drink it!”Fondy warned, also coming to the realization that I’d made a big mistake. Perhaps the fact that I was vomiting into the sink was the big giveaway. As it turns out, the bottle did contain water. Well, approximately 50% water. The other 50% was OxiClean, a bleaching agent she would use to clean up after our dogs. Fortunately, I’d only swallowed a couple of mouthfuls and, thankfully, had thrown up most of it. A quick call to Poison Control put my mind at ease and I forgot all about the seeming attempt on my life – until several months later.
It was the weekend and I was fast asleep when the phone started ringing at about 8:00 a.m. When someone calls this early in the morning, it can only mean one of two things: 1) Something terrible has happened, or 2) It’s Fondy’s sister calling who has yet to grasp the three hour time difference between east and west coast. There was no way to tell and, when I rolled over in bed, realized Fondy was already up. But why hadn’t she answered? On the phone’s fifth ring, I leapt out of bed, bleary-eyed and confused, and charged out of the bedroom – and right smack into the plate glass sliding door separating our bedroom from the solarium. Understand – I knew the door was there but in the 2+ years we’d been living in the apartment, we had never bothered closing it because the solarium offered us the quickest route from the bedroom to the living room. It was a fairly solid door that thrummed loudly but thankfully didn’t shatter. The same could be said for my skull. Fondy later apologized and explained she had slid the door shut so that I wouldn’t be disturbed while sleeping – by, say, the ringing phone she finally got around to picking up herself. By the way – it was her sister calling.
The third incident occurred about a year later. I walked into the kitchen to make myself a shake and, to my delight, discovered Fondy had already emptied the dishwasher and set the blender back into its cradle. Perfect, I thought as I grabbed the milk and poured it into the blender, intent on making myself a shake. What I’d failed to notice, however, was that while the glass pitcher section had been placed atop the mixing unit, the actual base of the blender and the blades had not been attached so that when I poured the milk in, it spilled out the bottom and all over the counter top. A messy inconvenience, yes, but did I mention the blender had been plugged in? For some reason, I was saved from a fate that would have had me doing a fair imitation of Martin Sheen’s wife’s sizzling death scene in the opening scene of The Believers.
I’m happy to say that since then, my marriage has been relatively attempted murder free. Although, now that I think of it, that could just be because she’s gotten better at concealing her failed attempts.
Playing catch-up with all those questions…
NowIWillDestroyAbydos writes: “1) About the Cello scene in “Unending,” Does Amanda Tapping know how to play cello? If so, how good is she? 2) How many episodes will Beau Bridges be in for Atlantis Season 4? Which episodes? 3) Any chance of having Brad’s “lost” script for “Judgment” (The final chapter of the Aschen Trilogy) seeing the light of day, so us, the fans, can see what it would look like if it had been produced?”
Answers: 1) She doesn’t know how to play the cello. That was the magic of television. 2) So far – 0. Between the movies and his own series, Beau will be very busy in 2007. 3) Since Brad’s script was an SG-1 story, it’s unlikely we’ll see it anytime soon.
Smiley-Face06 writes: “Have you ever tried a Nutella and peanut putter sandwich?”
Answer: I used to enjoy them all the time when I was a kid. Sometimes, for variety’s sake, I’d even throw in sliced bananas.
Royal Nonesuch writes: “I really enjoyed “A Wizard of Earthsea”, what did you think of it?”
Answer: LeGuin is a wonderful writer – however, I preferred The Dispossessed.
Nate writes: “Have you ever had Kobe beef?”
Answer: The kobe beef I had in Tokyo was, without a doubt, the greatest beef I’ve ever had. However, it’s extremely pricey.
Arctic Goddess writes: “What did you think of Childhood’s End? I read that book and a few other Arthur C. Clarke novels several years ago. I have found him interesting. But it is difficult to pick up the rhythm of his writing, initially. What do you think?”
Answer: I liked Childhood’s End a lot and had no trouble making my way through although I know other people, Brad for instance, who echo your sentiments with regard to this particular book and found it a bit of a challenge to get into.
Anonymous #1 writes: “To be even more specific, is RDA going to the Arctic to shoot for the movie. Is it officially a done deal that Rick will be in Continuum?”
Magic 8 Ball says: Signs point to yes.
Anonymous #2 writes: “Have we any chances of seeing Jonas Quinn again?”
Answer: On Atlantis – unlikely.
Anonymous #3 writes: About four months.
Craig writes: “If you are able to i was wondering if you could share exactly what it is about Irresponsible that irks you so much about the end product?”
Answer: You name it, it went wrong.
Riana writes: “Question, though perhaps you might not have the answer, but when actors are cast for a show like SG-1 or Atlantis, what kind of background and/or education do you think is most helpful?”
Answer: When it comes to casting, talent is what really counts.
Anonymous #4 writes: “Do you really like Anime, if so, what is your favorite?”
Answer: Off the top of my head – Cowboy Bebop, Berserk, Kino’s Journey, Noir, GTO, Now and Then Here and There, Evangelion, Utena, Samurai Champloo, Last Exile.
38Trekker writes: “Any chance of RDA doing a guest spot or three on Atlantis this season?”
Answer: At present, there are no plans to have Jack make another guest appearance on Atlantis.
Anonymous #5 writes: “Do the guys at Bridge get a kick out of reading your blog?”
Answer: Martin Gero and Carl Binder are regular readers and I know that Robert Cooper and Alan McCullough swing by on occasion to peruse. So far, none has threatened to sue me.
So Joe have you gotten your flack jacket and helmet ready for the upcoming “Scottish People” protest? I would be happy to drive your car into the studio as a decoy, although I look nothing like you.
On another topic, the weapon put to Vala’s back at the beginning of Dominion looks suspiciously like a pulse pistol from Farscape, any connections?
No plans for RDA? Why the hell not?
Hi Joe:
I’m doing my happy dance because I found your blog fairly quickly after you completed it. Hi Carl! Hi Martin! Hi Rob!!
As a therapist and a student of behaviour, I find phobias and anxiety disorders fascinating. Have you ever considered doing an episode on one of the characters coming unbalanced and perhaps psychotic? For some reason, when I think of someone who would be perfect for the role, Joe Flanigan comes to mind. Any thoughts?
Have a great day.
Patricia
can you please tell us any other season 4 episode name, and yes, off the top of your head can you describe briefly what consists of the daily job of an executive producer for Atlantis….
You’ve said before that Sam will not be leader, but will play a support role. So since Elizabeth seems to be on the way out, who will she be supporting?
And how significant will Elizabeth’s presence be in season four?
Consider at least two more DVDs of Continuum bought and paid for, Joe. I’ve no real interest in watching Fargate, and I pretty much gave up on SG-1 in season nine. However, with the news that Richard Dean Anderson will be back along side of Carter, Teal’c, and Daniel, I’m more than willing to give Continuum a chance. I was a huge fan of the original show, and I’m dying to see my favorite team back out there again. I know at least one friend who feels the same way, so there you go. If you guys could sneak Jack into the other SG-1 movie, then you can consider two more DVDs of that one sold as well. An appearance by General Hammond would just be icing on the cake.
St. Patrick
PS I have nothing against Ben Browder or Claudia Black, I just think their inclusion ruined SG-1. If they had a really small part in Continuum, I wouldn’t shed many tears.
Hello Joe; have a few Stargate related questions
1.Magic 8 Ball me – You’ve said it’s unlikely to see Jonas on Atlantis; what about an SG1 movie?
2. Will we be seeing Walter or Siler in season 4 of Atlantis?
3. Any plans for a ship based episode this year?
(And hi to Martin, Carl, Rob, and Alan if they’re reading this!)
Re: RDA
Magic 8 Ball says: Signs point to yes.
Damn outstanding! 😀
Erina,
Joe has never stated that Sam won’t be in charge. I actually think she will be. Time (or Joe) will tell.
Joe,
A new series for Beau Bridges, are you referring to “My Name is Earl” or a completely different series.
LOL. I’m perfectly capable of getting killed by my own doing. Note to self: Never attach your brother’s swimming aids to your legs before you enter the water; it’s a little hard to get back on your feet, even if the water is just half a meter deep. 🙂
And BTW, that was a great SG-1 finale. You didn’t exaggerate.
Do you have a better idea now how many eps Torri will be in?
Let me rephrase that. Will Torri be in at least half the episodes?
Has there been any response to the references to the cancellation of SG-1 in Family Ties?
By the way, those were hands-down the best parts of the episode.
Joe,
Which of the upcoming movies of sg1 will have the most space ship fights or scenes? Thanks man
Your montreal fan
There was an article in GateWorld that mentioned the lady that played Catherine Langford was asked to return for Moebius. She declined, and thus Moebius turned out the way it did, what was the story that was originally going to be told? By the way, is there any chance at bringing back Kolya due to the screw-up that was Irresponsible?
Ok, so please tell me that the Stargate will be featured in the movies that so cheekily sport its name. No space ships, no space battles, no “weapons to maximum”. The audience does NOT love “weapons to maximum”. We love the Kawoosh. Plain and simple. And it’s even cheap stock footage.
I remember you from Anime Evolution. Will you be there this year?
So, with all the interest in who might be coming to Atlantis from SG-1, I need to ask the burning question: will the giant wrench be seen in Atlantis? I miss the wrench.
Hey Joe, I’m enjoy to post in your blog because I have a question since season 9 who nobody can answer. So :
In SG-1 movies, will there be continuation to what “Dark Mitchel” said concerning the green wire in “Ripple Effect”?
To the question “Have we any chances of seeing Jonas Quinn again?” you answered : “On Atlantis – unlikely.” Didn’t you voluntarily speak about films of SG-1 because something is envisaged with Corin Nemec?
So, I enjoyed seeing Lam return in “Family Ties” (I found her much less annoying than I did in season 9). Why was there over a year since the last time we saw her, though? Was there just no need for the character? Also, do you guys feel that the story/history between her and Landry could have been explored even further, that it did not meet its full potential, or do what you had hoped when the characters were created?
This is something that I’ve been wondering for a while. I’m sorry if somebody asked this already but I’ll ask again just in case.
In SG1 9×13 Ripple Effect alternate Cameron told our Cameron “when the time comes, cut the green wire”. Now since Sg1 series is over, is this going to be used in the movie with flashbacks to the episode?
Anonymous said…
“No plans for RDA? Why the hell not?”
Uhhh.. because he’s not a Stargate: Atlantis character? 😉
Interested to read you are a fellow fan of House, Joe. It’s pretty much my second favourite show after Atlantis; Hugh Laurie does an awesome job in the title role (and who’d have thunk it given his resume of playing amiable idiots in comedy shows?)
Here’s a question for ya – any plans for any interesting guest stars in Season 4? Ivy mentioned at P2 that Goran Visjnic is a big fan and would like to be on the show, ER schedule permitting. Any news on that front or other guest spots?
Joe,
Are you sorry you included the “cut the green wire” line in Ripple Effect, now that fans have latched on to it?
Joe, why won’t you confirm RDA’s participation in Continuum even though it’s already been revealed in Playback?
“So, I enjoyed seeing Lam return in “Family Ties” (I found her much less annoying than I did in season 9). Why was there over a year since the last time we saw her, though? Was there just no need for the character?”
Lexa Doig (Dr Lam) had a baby and therefore couldn’t be on the show.
Hi Joe,
Sorry if this has been asked already, but is the 8-chevron gate in First Strike a nod to Stargate Horizon, the fan-series (which I believe uses an 8 chevron gate), or a mistake, or for some other reason?
Hey Joe!
You mentioned some time ago that a couple of things introduced in SG1 have been the bane of the writers existence. I think that ‘Zat’s’and their disintigration setting were one and the infamous Furlings the other.
Has there been anything introduced on Atlantis that has similarly turned out to be a pain?
Uhhh.. because he’s not a Stargate: Atlantis character? 😉
He’s already made more of an impact in the SGA Universe than Teyla has. He makes Weir a better character and made The Return the best episode of Atlantis to date. That underwater scene is the stuff of Stargate legend, the type of memorable imagery that gave SG-1 such a strong foundation.
Jack makes Atlantis cooler, unlike the majority of other main players. He could only help the show and the franchise. Sorry if that bothers your little “it’s shep’s show” mentality. Besides, everyone knows Atlantis is Rodney Mckay’s story.:P
Hiya Joe,
I was wondering whether the Administrator Prior, who torched Vala in season 9, will appear in the Ark of Truth? Also, considering that SG-1 has ended, will events in the Milky Way galaxy be explained on Atlantis? Like how the war against the Ori is going etc etc.
Take care Joe!
Sorry to hear you’ve had some unfortunate incidents, Joe. But at least they have been few and far between.
I have to agree with you about the animes Cowboy Beebop, Evangeliann and Utena – all wonderful shows. I have not had the chance to see the others you mentioned yet, but some friends of mine also said they are great.
You’re blog really is interesting and I should comment more often. But wanted to take a minute to thank yu for telling us what you can. It’s much appreciated.
Is there any chance of the script for “Judgement” being posted on the internet as fanfiction?
It’s interesting to hear that you disliked “Irresponsible”. Does this mean you also disliked / had issues with its sister episode, “Irresistable”? Personally, I found the allusions to date rape being acceptable and comedic to be not only insensitive but also rather disappointing from a team that had always treated such issues with respect and dignity in the past (Hathor, for example).
I had always been under the impression that the production team was rather proud of those episodes, given replies I have read from con reports. Interesting to hear that at least one member was not.
Lastly, about the question from “NowIShallDestroyAbydos” regarding the third script of the Aschen Trilogy. I think the question was not whether it will be produced or not, rather whether the script itself will be released for fans to read. I for one would love to read the script to at least see what would have come of the trilogy.
Tracy Jane
Fantastic news about Richard Dean Anderson, Joe! This makes me so happy. I hope Jack has a big role, and I hope he gets to be in the other movie too.
Nancy
Hello Joe,
I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for the wonderful Sam/Teal’c moments in Unending.
Whether it was intentional or not, S/T shippers & friendshippers thank you for once again showing us why we so love these two characters. Now for my future movie wish lists, more Sam & Teal’c please. Something along the lines of Abyss, Tangent or Solitudes where they are stranded alone together would be absolutely perfect.
Just wanted to say thanks for an awesome finale, and you’ve probably been asked it before several times; the enemy in the season 7 episode Grace.
Are we ever going to find out something about them besides the fact that they have a cool ship? Thanks.
Hiya Joe,
I share your pain with Irresponsible *sends hugs*. So given your disappointment with that ep what does your magic 8 ball say the chances are of Kolya coming back for season 4, even in an AU scenario?
Just wanted to let you know that I thought “Unending” was a beautiful episode, and a really classy way and poignant way to end a great series. And I think it’s fan-freakin-tastic that Michael Beach was in Atlantis. Will he be returning next season?
Hey now that Weir is going to be recurring, can Sheppard and her get together.
Ah, Fondy and I have another innate quality. We unintentionally create situations where our husbands believe we are attemping murder. *Evil little grin*
One time my fridge was not working properly, so being a normal wife I asked my husband to check the hoses on the back. He did his best to help me out of course. I was cooking at the time and didn’t hear him ask me to flip the circut breaker in the laundry. We had a rather long visit in the ER for electrocution that evening….
The other time I accidentally hit him with my car. Texans are notoriously bad drivers, and he asked me to pull my car up into the carport for a hurricane….I didn’t realize he was BEHIND me when I pushed on the gas. Thankfully I have a Chevy Aveo which you don’t weigh much! I only left a couple scars on his shins…..
Anonymous said…
He’s already made more of an impact in the SGA Universe than Teyla has. He makes Weir a better character and made The Return the best episode of Atlantis to date. That underwater scene is the stuff of Stargate legend, the type of memorable imagery that gave SG-1 such a strong foundation.
Jack makes Atlantis cooler, unlike the majority of other main players. He could only help the show and the franchise. Sorry if that bothers your little “it’s shep’s show” mentality. Besides, everyone knows Atlantis is Rodney Mckay’s story.:P
That’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it – however your post makes it pretty clear that you have a *huge* bias on the subject and that your feelings are pretty much that Jack is great and wonderful and everything would be better if it had Jack in it. I happen to disagree. I like the Atlantis team – yup, the whole team, not just Sheppard or McKay – and I don’t think they need Jack shoving in there to tell good stories.
But thanks for sharing your anonymous condescension on the subject. 😀