It seems that every time it rains, I get myself a new umbrella. Rainy days are apparently premium shopping days and, if you live in Vancouver, Canada, that amounts to 5 or 6 days a week between the beginning of October and the end of April. Today was just such a day and so, as is routine on such occasions, we drove downtown and parked in the underground lot of the Pacific Mall. Somewhere between women’s shoes and designer handbags, Fondy and I went our separate ways. Alas, about thirty minutes into my shopping I realized – as I always do – that all the shops I really want to hit are outside the mall: Chapters, HMV, that comic book shop. And so, I swung by Sears to pick up an umbrella. The helpful lady at the till informed me that men’s umbrellas could be found downstairs but that if I preferred not to head all the way back down (a.k.a. lazy), I could just grab something from the selection of women’s umbrellas just a few feet over. I ended up picking out a tiny, black springloaded umbrella that didn’t look particularly feminine. Out of deference for any nearby shoppers of a superstitious nature, I hadn’t even bothered to open the umbrella and give it a once-over before buying it. For all I knew I could have stepped outside and opened it up to reveal a beautiful yellow rose surrounded by a garland of purple lilacs. As it turned out, however, it was just plain old black and I suspect that only a true expert in the field would have done a double-take in passing and thought “Hey, that guy’s carrying a woman’s umbrella!”. In short, it did the job and I packed it away in the back of my car, where it will undoubtedly sit until I’ll need it again or, more than likely, it’s is cleared out with the rest of the junk because, possessing the equivalent of a goldfish’s memory capacity, I’ll completely forget why I needed it in the first place. As a result, I’ve got quite a collection of indistinct, black, not particularly feminine (to my eye) umbrellas.

Since we were downtown, we had dinner at the unusually-named Singaporean Restaurant: Prima Taste. We had what was quite possibly the spiciest mango salad we’ve ever eaten, an excellent Hainanese chicken with incredible house rice, tender and tasty chicken skewers with a sweet, rib-sticking peanut satay, and some cracked black-pepper crab. Delicious but messy as hell. Once the meal was done, I’m sure I looked like a guy who had unsuccessfully attempted to defuse a black-pepper crab bomb. The waitress brought a dipping bowl for our hands and two tablets. I was so fixated on the crab that I didn’t really hear her instructions but I thought she said something about swallowing the tablet and chasing it with water to help clean your mouth. Thankfully, Fondy checked with the waitress one more time. What she in fact said was to drop the tablet IN water which would cause it to expand into a towelette (pictured). Thankfully, Fondy got the correct instructions because after all that crab, that expanding towelette would have probably put me over the top. Still, there’s always room for dessert and we grabbed some Nutella crepes on the way home.

Alas, I’ll field questions tomorrow. It’s ten minutes to Amazing Race, the CBS NCAA selection show I recorded, and Nip/Tuck. Fear not. I’ll be back tomorrow to answer almost none of your questions.

26 thoughts on “March 11, 2007

  1. Amazing Race was great tonight.. Hopefully you read this after it’s over, as I was extremely pleased to see Rob and Amber eliminated. Hopefully Charla and Mirna are next on the block..

  2. “Fear not. I’ll be back tomorrow to answer almost none of your questions.”
    The point is, you DO answer some questions, which is very nice.
    Nutella crepes, eh? Some of my favorite flavors. I’ve never considered putting them together though. I’ll have to whip up some, with perhaps a dollup of whipped cream flavoured with coffee liquer?

  3. I started the winter with 3 umbrellas strategically located so I wouldn’t find myself without one when needed, one in my house, one in my car and one in the office… now I have none… they always mysteriously dissapear. I wouldn’t mind if you send one of your extra umbrellas my way, the feminine black would be OK 🙂

  4. Thanks a lot for reminding me that crepes exist! I have managed to avoid the Canadian crepe stand for the entire 3 weeks I have lived in the city, now you know where my student loan will be spent. Yes! I think my next one will just be a maple syrup one, or as my nephew calls them (to the delight of the pretty girl behind the counter) “tree blood pancakes.”

    What is your favourite crepe?

  5. Heh. I went to the mall today, too (Oakridge, I believe it was). All I can say is: Holy crap! 14% sales tax? Why does anyone ever buy anything? (Then again, I’m from Oregon, where we have no sales tax at all, so I just generally hate the idea that what the price is isn’t what you pay. But hey, at least if I buy something in Washington and tell them I’m from Oregon, I don’t have to pay their sales tax.) (Oh, on the good side of shopping, though, I went to a shop that I think was called Famous Foods, with all kinds of organic stuff. I love it! I can actually eat the stuff they have there. Oh, sweet organics.)

    Speaking of tax, in the world of Stargate, how are all those space ships and such paid for, along with the sheer power to keep the gate going, and all the stuff they send to Pegasus? Have they had to raise taxes, cut social programs, or just fudge the numbers for other things (like that old guy in Independence Day said about the $400 toilet seats)?

  6. Nutella crepes <3 Yummy
    *takes Nutella Jar out & stuffs a spoon full into mouth*

    ***sooo much Fat*****But so good. *drool*

  7. now that would have been funny if you swallowed that tablet! Hee Hee!
    it has been scientifically proven that umbrellas are evil , and the worst creation known to man . if i get walloped by one more umbrella , i’m gonna start a petition to have them made illegal , and believe me it rains a lot in ireland too.
    i reckon if it rains , stay indoors or go out and accept the enevitability that your gonna get wet

  8. The last umbrella I bought came with a ‘wind resistant’ label. I put it up in a mild breeze, and it flipped inside-out almost immediately.

    I hate umbrellas.

  9. Thanks for making me laugh out loud at the office at the image of you swallowing an exploding towellete. Why am I suddenly thinking of Monty Python?.. “But Sir, it is only a waffer thin mint..” 🙂

    Out of interest – have you been watching The Dresden Files at all? And have you read any of the books? Any thoughts on either?

  10. Hi again Joe!
    I was reading GW’s Home page headline info about spoilers for Travelers, and they report that Travelers is not due to air fourth. When I asked you the probable order of the first few episodes last week you kindly answered my question, saying Travelers should be fourth. GW says Doppelganger will be fourth not Travelers, and that is unknown what number in the line-up it will be. Has something changed since you answered my question? Or is GW incorrect?
    Thank you!

  11. As for none of the other writers being able to write Weir or Teyla – how in the world did you manage to get through the entire first season before Carl came on board?
    Joe, you seem to have forgotten that Carl DID write in season 1 – “Before I Sleep” and “Letters From Pegasus”, both excellent Weir episodes.

  12. Before I sleep is still my favorite episode and I love Letters From Pegasus, made me laugh so much. Eh Duet was nowhere near as funny to me as LFP. Mckay and leadership. LOL.

    Now for a question.

    Ronon/Teyla anything going to happen on that front? Please say yes. *hopes* I love them together, he makes Teyla interesting.

  13. Joe:

    I always love your blog. You give me a chuckle every time. You should be moonlighting at Yuk Yuk’s.

    Fortunately or not, for your wonderfully tough neighbors in Alberta, we rarely use umbrellas. If we did, at least this year, we would need tiny snow plows to clear off the tops before they cave in on us. And somehow, they really do nothing for you when its 40 below.

    Have a great day.

  14. Please, if it’s possible, don’t authorise the bits about the chocolate, the Weir fans will only get jealous again, lol. 😉
    Glad you and Martin liked the chocolates and that you spread them around :D. I hope they didn’t melt on the way 😀 I don’t remember seeing wafers on the list of chocolates when I ordered them, lol. Sorry about that.

    Onto the question.

    With Tabula Rasa, are we likely to see, a)a soft reset (maybe bring Kolya back? b)the CG Wraith c)A planet that gives the team amnesia d)whump and angst e)I can’t be bought that easily, send more chocolates for the answer 😉

  15. Talking of messy food, have you ever eaten langoustine? I ordered it during New Year and had no clue whether to use a fork, spoon or my nimble fingers. Do you find any particular food difficult to eat and have you ever resorted to just using your fingers?

  16. Patricia:
    Winnipeg tops Alberta in terms of snow and cold, I’m sorry to say.

    Will both Ellis and Caldwell make multiple appearances in season four? Will one character take precedence over the other? Will they be used in conjunction? Will we ever see them again past the first three episodes?

  17. Re the comment from anonymous: “Joe, you seem to have forgotten that Carl DID write in season 1 – “Before I Sleep” and “Letters From Pegasus”, both excellent Weir episodes. “

    Ditto. I can’t believe that someone in their infinite wisdom (insert rolling of eyes..) can’t see how incredible this actress and character are. The fact that her contract obviously hasn’t been renewed (you’ve basically said she’s without a contract by saying that that’s why you can say how many eps Amanda will have while you can’t say for Torri) is just baffling beyond all belief.

    Binder rocks. He is the writing God of SGA. With Gero a close second.

  18. You watch Nip/Tuck on Sundays, too? Nice. I know you’re a foodie and love to talk about your gastronomical adventures, Joe, but I’d much rather discuss the TV shows we both watch.

    I watch about 50-60 hours of TV per week (hey, it’s part of my job) and enjoy analyzing and dissecting episodes of my favourite shows, with regular fans as well as my showbiz comrades. You mentioned having seen a couple episodes of Heroes. I love that show, and a few of the people involved want to work on my show, someday. I know you’re super busy and have lots of fan questions to answer, so perhaps you could just give me a quick “like it”, “love it”, “don’t like” or “don’t watch” response to all these shows that I watch regularly:

    Robson Arms
    Desperate Housewives
    Dresden Files
    the Law & Order franchise
    the CSI franchise
    Criminal Minds
    Ugly Betty
    Falcon Beach
    Crossing Jordan

    Yes, I’m excluding Stargate: SG1 and Atlantis from the list because we obviously both love those two shows.

  19. Oh rain… It’s been a while since it really rained here. I hate being out in the rain though I love rain.
    And about umbrellas, did you notice that it’s always when you forget to take an umbrella that it rains? It happens to me way too often!

    Nutella crepes? Mmh! That I really love! Especially when it’s the only food I have for dinner at Candlemass (though the only problem being that I’m wide awake until late in the night because I’m not tired!)

    Otherwise I have a question about the Stargate movies. Do you happen to know if the DVDs would be released around the same date all around the world, or would it be like what we have now, one region at this date, another at this one, etc… Because, you know we’re dying to see them!

    Oh and I have to agree with everyone praising Carl Binder. He offered us some of the greatest eps in Atlantis, most of them with Torri/Elizabeth taking a great part in them.

  20. hi Joe!
    At the moment I’m very agitated, I read a couple of threads on Gateworld about Amanda being in season 4. All the comments those people wright, damn, I hate them. I respect their opinions but why hate something so much before even seeing it!

    I was wondering what your point of view is? Have your read some of these comments and what do you think about it?
    Or better does Amanda read them?

    You and Amanda rock! as does the whole stargate franchise, thanks again for answering all the questions 🙂

  21. Becca: “Before I sleep is still my favorite episode and I love Letters From Pegasus, made me laugh so much. Eh Duet was nowhere near as funny to me as LFP. Mckay and leadership. LOL.”

    Haha! Me too. I love LFP. Fantastic ep, though my personal favourite part was poor little Carson sending the message to his mother. And talking about fungus! And the look on Rainbow with that “Dude! Fungus?” line. Too bloody funny.

    Also Before I Sleep remains my favourite ep, with The Real World a close second. There’s nothing better than an episode based on a character played by an actress who’s so exceptional.

    Brilliant stuff. Sad we won’t get to see more of it, by the looks of things.

  22. Dear Mr. Mallozzi!
    Could you ask the CGI teams not to make 8 chevron stargates in the animations (for example: Gate bridge)? Sometimes they make such stargates, which have chevrons on both side. This seems to us only careless work. Sorry. 🙂 Is there any chance that we get a story about the Pegasus gate system to answer why exist there 8 or 9 chevron gates?

  23. Were there ever any Stargate SG-1 stories you really wanted to tell but never had the chance to?

  24. Joe, it seems Michael Shanks has won a recurring role on “24” for this season! What do you think? Is it cool to see actors from Stargate “make it” in network tv?

  25. Hey Joe
    I was wondering if you can tell us anything more about Carter arriving on Atlantis with her own ship?
    For your book collection, check out S.M.Stirling’s “Island on the Sea of Time”. Fabulous ride.. the island of Nantucket gets sucked into 3000BC.

  26. As a Michael Shanks fan and a 24 fan, I can’t beleive my luck at getting to see him in that show! :)but because I’m greedy…do you know if this will effect Daniels partipation in the Stargate movies? Will he be playing a major role?

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