God’s Crooked Lines (2022)
Follows a woman checking into a psychiatric ward to investigate a homicide.
My thoughts: More thriller than horror. The plot is familiar but it unfolds in a unique and engaging manner. The final twist would have landed harder if not for one perplexing casting decision.
After his teenage daughter goes missing, a desperate father tries to find clues on her laptop.
My thoughts: More thriller than horror, and not a particularly good one at that. Annoyingly gimmicky and altogether ridiculous in its final hugely coincidental final reveal.
Bring Out the Fear (2021)
Explores a doomed relationship on its final day.
My thoughts: Standard scares in this rather unsubtle allegory of unhealthy relationships.
Scare Package (2019)
Chad, the owner of Rad Chad’s Horror Emporium, recounts a series of bone-chilling, blood-splattered tales to illustrate the rules of the horror genre to his newest employee.
My thoughts: As if a local comedy troupe took a weekend to shoot some horror skits.
Due to the pandemic, Parker and her best friend decide to quarantine at the family lake house alone – or so they think.
My thoughts: A pandemic horror movie that feels instantly dated. It’s standard slasher fare until its wholly ridiculous “covid” twist.
Chocolate Burger? Yes/No
Thanks(?) to @Thogar for the tip.
I ate Burger King’s new chocolate hamburger so you don’t have to https://t.co/7vReSnEAtV via @Coconuts
— Joseph Mallozzi 🏴☠️ (@BaronDestructo) February 4, 2023