This morning started like any other day.  I woke up, brushed my teeth, headed downstairs and fed the dogs.  After checking my emails, I decided to make myself my usual post-workout hardboiled eggs.  I walked over to the stove, picked up the pot and noticed something – a distinctive figure on the element created by the residual water from said pot.  A face was staring back at me!

August 11, 2015: A Morning Miracle!

It was a miracle!  A morning miracle!  Perhaps a sign of good things to come?  My immediate thought was that this was proof of the harmony at the very core of our existence, incontrovertible evidence of the designed order underlying the universe: peace, love, charity.  Then, I wondered how I could make a quick buck off it.

At first I considered charging people to drop by the house to witness the miracle firsthand.  Upon further consideration, however, I realized that would present a host of logistical issues.  I’d have to hire security, possibly a publicist to get the word out, maybe incorporate Stove Miracle Inc. and hire an accountant.  The upfront costs, time, and effort seemed daunting.  Then, I thought maybe selling the miracle stove would be the way to go.   Someone else could coordinate the business side and I would happily walk away with a one time lump payment (and maybe a 5% royalty).  But then I would have to go through the hassle of buying a new stove – and I hate shopping for appliances.  I ultimately decided that the smartest thing to do would be to sell the stove top, pass the cost of the replacement onto the purchaser, and just eat out for a week until my new stove top arrived.  That and a 5% royalty.

So decided, I finished my workout, then went to check on my eggs – only to discover that the water face had evaporated over the course of those thirty minutes, leaving me with naught but anguish, broken dreams, and, quite frankly, a serious reconsideration of that whole harmony and designed order thing.

My day was otherwise uneventful.

37 thoughts on “August 11, 2015: A morning miracle!

  1. Umm I think “someone” might be missing Akemi.. or it’s the stress of waiting for the renewal of Dark Matter, yes waiting because of course it’s going to be renewed!
    Oh I have to get my question for Anthony in. Okay, hi Anthony I am enjoying my love-hate relationship with THREE, it also seems you are also. Anyways if you could pick another crew member(yes that includes the robot) who would you play?

  2. Hmm…from matrixing, I too see a face from the watermarks. I see a face of Shakespeare with the ruff collar…

  3. Wait, is this the same stuff that a while ago had what appeared to be a possessed controller unit which would randomly stop working? Coincidence? I don’t think so! But probably is.

    Sadly, there are probably sufficient rubes out there that would make your business plan feasible, if not necessarily convenient.

    Coincidentally, I have also been shopping for appliances (the sale of my old house included them all) and you are right to disdain it. What a pain. White or stainless? Regular fridge or bottom freezer? French doors? Front control or rear control stove? Go with the minimum of what I need, or splurge a little on “nice”?

    Argh! It’s all too much.

    What’s worse is that I just realized today that I’m going to be away in NH for the weekend that is the DM finale double episode. *headdesk*

  4. I had a similar experience this past weekend. My cat presented me with a hairball that looked eerily like Donald Trump. Alas, when I went to post it on eBay I found at least 100 Trump ‘images’ in everything from dog poo to rust stains on a ’63 Corvair. I should have saved the one that resembled Yoda.

    I have a good feeling about tomorrow. A day closer to a new episode of Dark Matter and Anthony Lemke will have a bucket full of fan queries to ruminate over. Season 2 is out there. I can feel it.

  5. I’m not seeing a face other than maybe a wraith drone mask? Is that the face you were referring to?

    Maybe I just don’t have a tendency towards pareidolia. I also have trouble seeing the man in the moon…he looks more like a long eared rabbit to me…or maybe a crab?

  6. Is that Che Guevara?

    😉

    Okay…are you ready for this? Pretty sure this post will break your blog.

    My day started off innocent enough…a gentle (much needed!) dawn rain pitter-pattering outside as I settled down in front of the computer with a piping hot cup of coffee, ready to start my day.

    And then…

    King Julien comes prancing into my sanctuary and drops a mouse at my feet! A LIVE mouse! It darted over my bare toesies, and instantly I broke out into most amazing jig you have ever seen! Who knew that at my age I could jump so high! Riverdance, eat your heart out! 😀

    Okay…okay…so it did look more like I was walking barefoot over hot coals, but still… 😛

    So…back to the mouse. It scurried under a small dresser, with Julien in hot pursuit. I called Mr. Das for help, and – armed with a trash can – we attempted to catch the little bugger. We pulled out the dresser and HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD!!!! DUST BUNNIES!!!!! Really BIG ones! These were no ordinary dust bunnies, but amalgams of cobwebs, cat hair, MY hair, dust, lost cat toys, wee bits of paper, and things that looked like dead bugs but I didn’t want to look too closely in case they were dead bugs. Pretty sure that if I was an alchemist, I could have made gold out of these suckers. So, while Mr. Das, armed with his trusty trash can, and King Julien are running after the mouse, I’m grabbing wet rags and vacuum cleaners to tackle the much bigger problem lurking behind and under the furniture.

    The wee mouse then scampered under the entertainment center/book case, and so did Julien. Out came the mouse, and out came Julien covered in more dust bunnies. Now I’m on hands and knees cleaning under the case, and finding a jigsaw puzzle I had stashed under it…and some weights…and a box of trade paperbacks I never read. Hmmmm…I’m starting to think that in another life I was a squirrel…

    Around and round the mouse ran, and more and more furnishings were pulled out to the middle of the room. A room, mind you, that’s only 12’x10′. On a good day. 😉 The little guy ran under the desk, then behind a couple barrels, and Julien dived after him, knocking cannon balls and belaying pins all over the place. (Did I mention this was all happening in our ‘ship room’ – a room that is like the inside of an old ship? Well, I’m mentioning it now.)

    Julien now had the critter trapped in one of my shoes, but it got away and slipped under a steamer trunk that resides at the foot of a twin-sized captain’s bed. Don’t know what a captain’s bed is? Google it. It’s just not something you move on a regular basis. It’s tight against the wall with pillows for a back rest, like a day bed…only it’s not a frilly fru-fru day bed, but a manly-man captain’s bed. Arrrr! (That’s pirate talk.) So, out came the steamer trunk, and the little gray bullet shoots behind another big barrel, and then…disappeared.

    (BTW, if you haven’t noticed, I can really cram a lot of crap into a 12×10 room. 😛 )

    So we pull out the captain’s bed and…oh my…ACK!! It was like a horror movie. A really bad, spider-infested horror movie. Not that I saw any actual wee leggy beasties, but that really doesn’t matter now, does it? Just like it doesn’t matter if the cobwebs in a haunted house are really some sort of polyester blend, they’re still as creepy as hell. So…Vaaaaa-ROOOOM!! I fired up the vacuum cleaner and started sucking up all the Halloween props lurking around the bed…the bed that I TAKE MY AFTERNOON NAPS IN! *shudder* I didn’t stop there, but now off come all the pillows and the mattress so I can vacuum underneath. Everything is piling up in the center of the room that now looks like it was decorated by a tornado. Or a drunk pirate. And by this time Mr. Das, Julien, and I have all but forgot about the wee mousie.

    Slowly I start putting everything back. A good three-quarters of the room is sparkling clean, while the other quarter is…iffy. But the iffy part is the part that gets cleaned more thoroughly because it doesn’t involve moving furniture and such. Or so I told myself as I started to fizzle out about mid-morning, having had all this excitement with only one small cup of decaf coffee to keep me going.

    Mr. Das went off to work, I got dressed and cooked up scrambled eggs with asparagus and pepper jack cheese, and settled down to a nice breakfast…at about 10:30 am. Now that things had calmed down I decided to call Norton again because my antivirus is acting up. (Did I mention that I was on hold with Symantec for 67 minutes last night before I finally hung up? No? Well, I’m mentioning it now.)

    While I was on hold (again), I noticed BOO! poking around under a small bookcase near the foot of the captain’s bed. Hmmmm…

    Then I noticed Julien poking around a small fan that was sitting on the floor, between the bookcase and the ship room door. Hmmmm…

    So, I get all curious and lift up the fan, and there he was! The Little Gray Bullet! And POUNCE! There was Julien, doing his cat attack thing. The mouse scooted out the door and hid under a small table outside the bathroom door. This time I did not hesitate! I grabbed a nearby whisky canister (because, ya know, I just have booze laying about), whisked out the bottle, and scooped up the mouse! Bam! Just like a superhero saving a child from a speeding train, I saved the mouse from a pouncing Julien!

    I took the little guy outside and let him go in…my neighbor’s yard… *shifty eyes*…and went back inside, satisfied with a job well-done. Then I realized I was still on hold with Norton. 😛

    The Norton tech finally answered the phone, and after a brief discussion I agreed to turn my computer over to some dude named Patel in India. He commandeered my computer and – FOR THE NEXT FIVE HOURS – tried to repair whatever is wrong with my Norton antivirus. It didn’t work. 😛

    I suspect it’s because I’m still using XP, and I think with the recent release of Windows 10 Microsoft has sent out bugs to everyone still using XP in an attempt to get them to sacrifice THE BEST OPERATING SYSTEM EVER! for whatever crap they’ve come up with now. I will NOT give up my XP that easy!!

    So, needless to say, not only did I lose a day of work, but now I’m using a computer that may – or may not – be protected from hackers, viruses, trojans, and the like.

    Living dangerously, that’s what I am all about. 😀

    das

  7. LOL. Hey Joe, you should hire dasndanger to do your blogs. I haven’t laughed so hard in days.

    Thank you das for the laughs. I’ve had a rough week and it was very much needed and if you have a blog of your own, I would signup in a heartbeat.

  8. I tried to see a face in the water residue. I studied it and decided maybe I was looking at it from the wrong direction. So I turned my laptop sideways to determine if perhaps this was the case. It was not. I then turned the laptop upside down to try yet another perspective. I have determined that when you turn the laptop upside down and view the image from that perspective it looks very much like I have too much time on my hands.

  9. Das, that was quite the day!! I’m glad the mouse managed to live through it, too, though. Also, my mother is totally with you on XP. I am merely grateful I switched to macs some years back. No Norton woes anymore for me!

  10. Questions for Anthony:

    Would you ever want to play a DC/Marvel character? If so, which one?
    What is your favorite thing about Three?
    Thinking long term, based on everything you know about him so far, what is one thing you’d like to happen to/for Three?

    Thanks, Anthony, for taking some time to interact with us!

  11. Very entertaining Das…I’m sure the mouse appreciates your efforts.

    Joe, I think it looks like a clown too… You might have to move lol.

    I really hope they renew Dark Matter

    Cheers, Chev

  12. I think I can see face. Maybe. But mostly nope.

    @gforc … I love our bottom freezer French door fridge. I HATE the stainless steel finish, it never seems quite clean and none of my fridge magnets stick to it.

    @das…. poor mousie! And let’s not discuss dust bunnies, my big Harry baby has a nest under the head of our bed. He sheds enough to make dust kittens with daily.

  13. @das: I was supposed to be getting ready to go on a 20 mile bike ride, but instead I got caught up in The Tale of the Mouse. Great story! And you got a nice clean ship room out of it so you can take your naps feeling safe and secure from any creepy crawlies.

    You know that there are other antivirus programs out there, right? I have Webroot on my computer. And Windows 7 as my operating system – the last one that they put out that was really functional without a Touch-screen laptop computer set-up. And I will not be updating any time soon.

  14. One more for Anthony Lemke:

    I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to participate in the Q&A here on Joe’s blog! We really appreciate it.

  15. Oh my, the womenfolk leave and…. Go have lunch with someone today Mr. M.. I think the solitude is getting to you.

    Tim Hendrix: 😆

    Das: 😆 Loved the story! My hard drive died recently and I had to be upgraded to Win 10, from Win 7. I liked Win XP but Win 7 was my favorite O.S.! 7 is like a polished version of XP. I don’t know if you have the computer specs for it but if you have to upgrade, you might like 7.

    The one thing I hate about upgrading is that sometimes my programs won’t run on the new O.S. The new Win 10 browser, Edge, won’t run my password program. So, I’m using the old version of Explorer for my internet browser. Thankfully, I have two tech guys to help me through all of this stuff. Win 10 seems like a polished version of 7 to me, so far.

  16. Sparrow_hawk: Did you know Win’s 10 has a desktop mode? Much easier on a non-touchscreen.

  17. LMAO! Thanks, Das! As a cat owner myself, I could easily picture the events of your morning. 😀 Your cats must be declawed. Mine have their claws, and anything that they pounce gets immediately impaled. No rescue option here.

    I agree about Windows XP. I was a wooonderful OS. But, sadly, mine got to where there were too many functions that simply wouldn’t work with XP anymore. I very reluctantly gave in and bought a new computer CPU with Windows 8.1 and the book “For Dummies” to teach me how to use it. The book paid for itself immediately. Norton Antivirus is a huge memory hog that is mainly for businesses. It is simply too much power for XP to handle without bogging down continuously. I was advised by a technician to use something else. I went with McAfee. I’ve also used AVG. http://www.top10antivirussoftware.com/

    I didn’t see anything in the water pattern either, so it’s probably a good thing it evaporated before you alerted the media. 😉

  18. I like Windows 10 too. I don’t think I’ve uncovered much of what it can do but it’s pretty much a stable and fast O.S. I like the Edge browser too. I like those tile things that have the Weather, Calendar, Photos, Cortana, Mail, Twitter(Especially this..) etc. Quite nifty that.

  19. And speaking of anime, not much has really caught my attention during the Summer season. Pretty much watching Working!!!, DRRR X2 Ten, Charlotte, Gakkou Gurashi, Non Non Biyori Repeat. And when I feel like it, Overlord.

  20. I don’t know, Joe, it kinda looks Pug-ish to me. Is that what you saw?

    Questions for Lemke:

    What was your favorite thing from craft services? Did you ever order something “custom” just for you that they made really well?

    Do you have a new or specific kind of gun or weapon tech that you’d really like to have THREE use in season 2? Something super sci-fi or futuristic(or is “Bubba” cool enough already)?

    Did you take anything home from your wardrobe or props from season 1? (You don’t have to be specific, I don’t want you to get in trouble 😉 )

    Keep up the great work! You’re doing a great job with THREE. If people can hate you, then love you, then not know what they truly think of you, all over the span of a couple episodes, you’re definitely doing it right. True, some of that is attributed to the great writing, but when it’s also acted so well, it becomes a real home run.

    -Mike A.

  21. @ DALLAS MARSHALL – Nope, cats aren’t declawed. I just don’t think they’ve ever killed anything besides a bug. Yet.

    Glad everyone enjoyed my morning adventure! 🙂

    RE: Norton and XP

    The reason I use Norton is because I’ve had three or four virus attacks using other antivirus programs, including McAfee, Avast, AVG, and others. Norton is the only one that has been effective on both home and office computers. I don’t know why I get so many attacks, it’s not like I use torrent sites, download music or movies, or view porn. Mostly I just come here and a couple forums, and buy stuff from Amazon. And I can’t blame my husband because he can barely figure out how to turn on a computer, let alone access dangerous sites.

    I just don’t have a lot of mental space for learning new things, so if technology keeps getting complicated I’ll just stop using it. I find my tablet much easier to use than my desktop, and I don’t play with graphics like I did 5 years ago, so I mostly just use the desktop for word processing, and typing long-winded posts on blogs and forums. You can tell when I’m on my tablet because my comments become uncharacteristically short. 😛 And you can tell when I’m on my dinosaur of a desktop, because my posts become obnoxiously long. 😛 😛

    das

  22. G’day

    Great story Das.
    I agree, XP is the BEST Operating system EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    However my puter died, soooooo I had to go to 8.1, soon to go to 10.

    I do not see a face in that puddle Joe. Are you sure you did not get on the turps the night before.

  23. Oh dear Das. That was an awesome, epic story. Thank you for sharing that.

    In the puddle, I saw a character from South Park.

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