This morning started like any other day. I woke up, brushed my teeth, headed downstairs and fed the dogs. After checking my emails, I decided to make myself my usual post-workout hardboiled eggs. I walked over to the stove, picked up the pot and noticed something – a distinctive figure on the element created by the residual water from said pot. A face was staring back at me!
It was a miracle! A morning miracle! Perhaps a sign of good things to come? My immediate thought was that this was proof of the harmony at the very core of our existence, incontrovertible evidence of the designed order underlying the universe: peace, love, charity. Then, I wondered how I could make a quick buck off it.
At first I considered charging people to drop by the house to witness the miracle firsthand. Upon further consideration, however, I realized that would present a host of logistical issues. I’d have to hire security, possibly a publicist to get the word out, maybe incorporate Stove Miracle Inc. and hire an accountant. The upfront costs, time, and effort seemed daunting. Then, I thought maybe selling the miracle stove would be the way to go. Someone else could coordinate the business side and I would happily walk away with a one time lump payment (and maybe a 5% royalty). But then I would have to go through the hassle of buying a new stove – and I hate shopping for appliances. I ultimately decided that the smartest thing to do would be to sell the stove top, pass the cost of the replacement onto the purchaser, and just eat out for a week until my new stove top arrived. That and a 5% royalty.
So decided, I finished my workout, then went to check on my eggs – only to discover that the water face had evaporated over the course of those thirty minutes, leaving me with naught but anguish, broken dreams, and, quite frankly, a serious reconsideration of that whole harmony and designed order thing.
My day was otherwise uneventful.