Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog

June 22, 2014: Top 10 Worst Superhero Names!

·

,

June 22, 2014: Top 10 Worst Superhero Names!10. The Whizzer

AKA “The Yellow Streak”?  Does the W on his chest stand for “wee”?

June 22, 2014: Top 10 Worst Superhero Names!9. Matter Eater Lad

Look at him go to town on that chain link fence!  Bombs, bullets, getaway cars – there is no limit to his amazing powers of consumption!  Unless, of course, he gets full.

June 22, 2014: Top 10 Worst Superhero Names!8. Aqualad

Batman had Robin, Captain America had Bucky and Aquaman had…well, this incorrigible little (presumably) English scamp.

June 22, 2014: Top 10 Worst Superhero Names!7. Strong Guy

Guess his super power!

June 22, 2014: Top 10 Worst Superhero Names!6. 3-D Man

Whoa!  Not one, not two, but THREE dimensions!

June 22, 2014: Top 10 Worst Superhero Names!5. Elongated Man

Because he’s, uh, really long.

June 22, 2014: Top 10 Worst Superhero Names!4. Mr. Fantastic

Not just fantastic, but Mr. Fantastic.  And then he names his team after himself.  What an egomaniac.

June 22, 2014: Top 10 Worst Superhero Names!3. Thor Girl

What’s next?  Captain America Boy?  Iron Man Girl?  Wolverine Woman?

June 22, 2014: Top 10 Worst Superhero Names!2. Bouncing Boy

He has the power of his legs never getting tired from walking.

June 22, 2014: Top 10 Worst Superhero Names!1. Squirrel Girl

She once defeated Dr. Doom.

No.  Really.

Discover more from Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

Podcast also available on PocketCasts, SoundCloud, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Apple Podcasts, and RSS.

23 responses

  1. ensredshirt Avatar
    ensredshirt

    Squirrel Girl makes the list but Monkey Joe doesn’t? They named a Squirrel.. A SQUIRREL!!!

    Reply
  2. whoviantrish Avatar
    whoviantrish

    Strong Guy’s super power is teleportation? He is super smart? I’m running out of ideas here…

    Does David Hewlett know about Squirrel Girl?

    Yeah those are bad. Very very bad. Oh hey! Mr. Bad could be the villain for those guys.

    Reply
  3. JeffW Avatar
    JeffW

    Hey Joe, I seem to have the knack lately for commenting right as you send up a new post. Anyway, my link to the post with the picture of the Carolina BBQ Sauce is in my last comment on the last post.

    @3-D Man – Do I need to wear the funny colored glasses to see him fully?

    Reply
  4. dasndanger Avatar
    dasndanger

    The Whizzer? 😆 Methinks someone was having a bit o’ fun when they created that one. 🙂

    @ Ponytail – RE: Yesterday’s comments – I once almost – I emphasize ALMOST – took the trash out to the curb in my birthday suit. You see, I was house cleaning and doing laundry, and as the morning progressed I peeled off my jammies and threw ’em in the wash and then went about my chores…including emptying the household trash. Bundled it all up in one bag and pranced right to the front door…put my hand on the knob…and suddenly realized I was totally nekkid. 😯 Thank goodness I never opened the door. Not for my sake, of course, but for the sake of the neighbors. :

    das

    Reply
  5. Ponytail Avatar
    Ponytail

    The Whizzer? All those names are ridiculous. What were they thinking?

    I believe I have terminal computer problems. I don’t know how I even got logged on. When is it time to go shopping? Like, now?

    Reply
  6. D Avatar
    D

    Did she steal his nuts?

    Reply
  7. gforce Avatar
    gforce

    Hey, I could be Matter Eater Lad! Although I might be a bit more of a picky eater.

    I do have a question – how does Bouncing Boy actually ever *stop* bouncing once he gets started?

    Definitely a shortage of imagination in naming.

    Reply
  8. Brandon Williford Avatar
    Brandon Williford

    But the brilliance of having Guido using the name “Strong Guy” is that no one expected him to be smart. Plus the fact that he made it up on the spry at a press conference.

    Plus, it really does sum up what he does best. 🙂

    Reply
  9. archersangel Avatar
    archersangel

    i heard about squirrel girl (don’t recall how i came across the info). i think that, in a lot of cases, comic book writers were desperate for ideas to fill issues & issues of comic books.

    Reply
  10. Janet Avatar
    Janet

    G’day

    Those superhero names, well yes, the less said the better.

    Am a bit late to the conversation (catching up after working all weekend) but I love chip sandwiches. Have to have tomato sauce on them though. Any kind of chip (french fry) will do, fat or thin and crunchy, just not oily. Add butter sometimes, depends on my mood and how hungry I am.
    As for a crisp sandwich, have not had one of them since I was a kid, they were yummo.

    Reply
  11. Janet Avatar
    Janet

    G’day again

    Forgot to add, good luck with meetings and such for your project.

    Reply
  12. Pete Apple Avatar
    Pete Apple

    Squirrel Girl! Drawn by Ditko, no less. A classic. Still wish the Great Lakes Avengers had caught on.

    Reply
  13. Line Noise Avatar
    Line Noise

    I’m curious about Saturn Girl mentioned in the Bouncing Boy panel. If she doesn’t have a couple of hula hoops orbiting her waist I’ll be very disappointed!

    Reply
  14. Narellefromaus Avatar
    Narellefromaus

    In my job I work with databases. I build their GUI. workflow and data interrogation systems. This started with one work colleague. I was importing data and came across a user who’s name would make a great superhero name so I emailed it to him. He replied with another name from the list he was working on that would make a great villain. So we now have a knowledge base article that gets updated with the real names of people we come across at work who have names that would make great characters in a superhero series. We have male and female heroes, villains, sidekicks and special guests. When you log the name you have to give a small bio of who they would play. I plan on one day writing a story set in our IT world using everyday names we come across (with permission from the owners of the names of course) because, why not? Could be fun.

    Software developers. We’re easily amused.

    @das – I think of you each time I fumble replying to my da(s)d. Which is damn often! And then I try and reply to you now and for once, ONCE!, I type Dad the first time. Hope you’re well 🙂

    Reply
  15. Narellefromaus Avatar
    Narellefromaus

    Sorry about crappy typing. iPad just doesn’t cut it for a keypad.

    Reply
  16. JimFromJersey Avatar
    JimFromJersey

    Wow. They’re all just…dumb. But Thor Girl? Thor is a name. A god’s name in fact. Not an occupation or a pseudonym.

    That would be like naming Carter – Colonel Jack O’Neill Girl.

    Reply
  17. Tim G Avatar
    Tim G

    2 cool Stargate/Doctor Who tshirts available for 24 hours:
    https://www.riptapparel.com/

    Reply
  18. Tam Dixon Avatar
    Tam Dixon

    If those were the names that made it, then what names didn’t make the cut?

    Reply
  19. Mike from Canada Avatar
    Mike from Canada

    I think I could get behind Thor Girl, though she does look a bit angry. I wonder if she would ditch the little wings on her ears for some cat ears? Otherwise she looks too much like the bad/good guy from Watchmen.

    And I’m sure there are numerous Furries who are just waiting to put on their own animal costume and get squirrelly with Squirrel Girl..
    I’ve never seen what was so fantastic about Mr. Fantastic. As for the Whizzer, I think I have a restraining order banning him from my property.
    He killed my shrubs.

    Reply
  20. Randomness Avatar
    Randomness

    Some of these characters were clearly created through some sense of gender equality, we don’t need a Thor Girl, she was clearly created because there’s a male Thor character. Gender equality be damned, just create an equally decent female super hero instead of ripping off another for the sake of it.

    Reply
  21. Randomness Avatar
    Randomness

    Surprised by this. 18.2 million viewers watched the USA vs Portugal game.
    http://tvbythenumbers.zap2it.com/2014/06/23/usa-portugal-most-viewed-soccer-match-ever-in-u-s/276058/

    World Cup fever gripping people 🙂

    Reply
  22. dasndanger Avatar
    dasndanger

    @ Narelle – If it makes you feel any better, I’ve been known to type das instead of dad a few times, too. 😛 Doing well – had a good weekend…no, a great weekend…and met a couple terrific gals from Auckland, New Zealand. We’re hoping to keep in touch…let’s see how that goes. I’m not known for my consistency. 😛

    das

    Reply
  23. fsmn36 Avatar
    fsmn36

    I had no idea there was a Thor Girl. The more you know…

    Reply

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Latest episodes

Discover more from Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading