Screen Shot 2013-12-17 at 3.25.25 PMHmmm.  Well that was a little too close for comfort.  My Snow Monkeys won their semi-final fantasy football playoff match-up by a score of 109.30 to 109.10.  Yes, that’s right.  They won by a whopping 0.2 points.  Rather than celebrate, however, I’ll be on the edge of my seat until Thursday morning when the NFL releases their final stats corrections for this past weekend.  Every week yields about two dozen slight “in retrospect” adjustments, a yard gained here, another lost there, that could make the difference between playing Petunia Power for the championship or drowning my sorrows in bourbon-spiked eggnog.

It certainly would be a bitter defeat that would find its way into my Bitterest Losses of All Time, a list that goes something like this…

5. LAWREN 106.20  SNOW MONKEYS 83.76 [2013 FANTASY FOOTBALL WEEK 12]

It’s the second to last week of the 2013 fantasy football season in my Stargate Fantasy Football League.  I need to win my final two games to have any shot at making the playoffs.  Fearing the fearsome Chiefs defence in Kansas City, I bench my starting quarterback, Philip Rivers, in favor of the Houston Texan’s Case Keenum, a hot start according to the so-called experts.  The result?  Keenum puts up a paltry 4.96 points.  As for Philip Rivers, he has the game of the season, racking up 28.78 fantasy points – which would have been more than enough for me to win the week. What makes this loss particularly disappointment in hindsight is that I ended up winning the next game handily and would have secured the sixth and final playoff spot.

4. BOSTON CELTICS 108 DETROIT PISTONS 107 [1987 EASTERN CONFERENCE FINALS, GAME 5]

The young Detroit Pistons have victory within their grasp.  With seconds to go, all Isaiah Thomas has to do is inbound the ball, perhaps force the foul, and take a strangle-hold on the series.  For some reason, Thomas telegraphs the inbound pass to centre Bill Laimbeer in the low past.  Larry Bird cuts in front and, with one second remaining, scores the easy lay-up for the win.

3. ANY ROAD TEAM PLAYING IN THE NBA

In every other sport, the “home team advantage” usually refers to the intangible edge the home team receives from playing in front of their home fans.  In professional basketball, however, it refers to the very tangible edge the home team receives from the home town refs.  The slanted calls are so outrageous that they made me give up on the NBA years ago and still make me wonder why supposed fans of the game put up with it.  I can only assume that it is simply an accepted part of the game’s ingrained culture, like fighting in hockey and tartan pants in golf.

2. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS 16 OAKLAND RAIDERS 13 [2002 AFC DIVISIONAL PLAYOFFS]

When is a fumble not a fumble?  Why, when it’s league-darling Tom Brady dropping the ball.  January 19, 2002.  The AFC divisional playoffs.  Late in the game, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady is sacked by the Raiders and drops the football.  It’s recovered by the Raiders who hold off the late Pats rally to win the game!  No, wait.  Officials reviewed the play and reversed the call on the field, declaring it a non-fumble because, in their estimation, Brady’s arm was moving forward.  Thus, the call on the field was “incomplete pass”.  Never mind that he was clearly not attempting a pass and that the sketchy “on second thought” reversal didn’t meet the requirements of “incontrovertible visual evidence” necessary to overturn a call.  The Raiders went on to lose the game and the “tuck rule”, as it was called, spent another ten gloriously crappy years in the books before finally being abolished in 2013 by a vote of 29-1.

1. I DON’T EVEN REMEMBER THE SCORE

In the final week of the 2012 fantasy football season, my high-flying Snow Monkeys were in tough.  Even though my Monkeys were the second highest-scoring team in the league, they were also the #1 scored against.  As a result, I desperately needed a win in the final week in order to secure a playoff berth.  Things look great heading into the Monday night match-up.  All I needed was a a couple of points from Green Bay receiver James Jones, and I’d be headed to the post-season.  Things looked good.  After all, I was relying on Aaron Rodgers and the high-powered Packers offense.  Looking good, right?  Wrong.  James Jones ended up putting up a grand total of 0 points.  Yes, that’s right.  0.  He did absolutely nothing, not even dropping a pass.  Aaron Rodgers didn’t look his way once – and my Snow Monkeys were done. I will forever hold a grudge against Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers.

And you, sports fans?  What makes your list for The Bitterest Loss of All Time?

19 thoughts on “December 17, 2013: Snow Monkeys win! Possibly! Top 5 Bitterest Losses of All Time!

  1. My list of bitterest losses? Probably the Flyers when they didn’t keep the Cup in ’76.

    Otherwise, I’ll have to think about it. As I’ve grown older I’ve tried not to let sports losses disappoint me – it’s only a game afterall.

    I will leave you with this, however – Perpignan v Munster over the weekend. Perpignan had just scored late in the game and were about to win the match when Munster – in extra time – got the ball and scored at the other end, winning the game 17-18. Certainly very bitter for Perpignan. I can only find it in French, however…no English clips up yet…but it gives you an idea:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81Gf3USBcwY

    And I just have to share this one from the Leinster v Northampton match. Leinster, soooo close to scoring what could have been the winning try when…well…just watch and see (start watching @ 9:00 ). You may not understand what’s going on, but let me assure you – it’s a ripper of a game!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_ZbQTY0NWA

    das

  2. Okay, the bitterest moment for me was the departure of the Baltimore Colts from Baltimore in ’84. Yes I know it’s not a particular game, but it trumped any individual game in terms of sports-heartbreak.

    I don’t blame Indy for this though (just the elder Irsay), and since the Colts have clinched the AF South, I’m wishing good luck to for the love of Beckett‘s favorite team (for as long as they’re not playing the Ravens 😉 ).

    As for the bitterest loss, it would have to be the 1996 ALCS Orioles-Yankees series opening game. I was watching this game on video tape in England at the time (long story) and I could not believe how it ended. In the (potentially) final out of the game that would have won it for the Orioles, Orioles outfielder, Tony Tarasco, was lined up near the right field fence to make the catch off of a Derek Jeter hit when a Yankees fan leans over the fence and grabs the ball. The Umps refused to call it fan interference. The Orioles end up losing the series by one game and the Yankees go onto the World Series. It’s amazing to me how all the bad calls seemed to break for the Yankees…

    This incident made the number one worse call in MLB history according to David Schoenfield at ESPN:

    http://espn.go.com/blog/sweetspot/post/_/id/25570/five-worst-umpiring-calls-in-history

    Similar to your grudge against Aaron Rogers, I always root against the Yankees.

  3. Bitterest loss of all time?
    Last week’s Dallas Cowboys game!
    Awful, horrible pitiful!
    I need to quit ’em, but I don’t know how. I’ve tried to quit ’em numerous times since 1989. So, now I’ll try again.
    Go Broncos!

  4. Sports is what is sometimes on in the background while I’m doing other things. But congratulations to the Snow Monkeys! I hope their statistical lead holds up in the final analysis.

  5. Joseph, since Stargate series have gone off the air for over half a decade now, have you watched any of the 3 series from the first episode to the last in a marathon watching binge?

  6. It’s a good omen that the Dawn of the Planet of the Apes trailer came out this week. Rise, Snow Monkeys!

    I liked the trailer for Syfy’s Helix more than I thought I would; now that they’re going with the “zombie virus/fast zombies” theme. I finally saw “This is the End” and it was surprisingly scary and creepy. The biggest shock is how likable Jay Baruchel is.

  7. Finally found my favorite Key & Peele sketch from this season, and wanted to share (there is some ‘language’ that’s mostly bleeped out):

    😆 Cracks me up every time!

    das

  8. Vancouver. Bruins vs. Canucks. Game seven of the Stanley Cup Finals. And a bunch of idiots rioted afterwards.

  9. It is said a win is a win, but some times the sweetness of victory can be like orange blossom honey to cereal topping sucrose to un-telling and sometimes upsetting lactose. Here is to you to celebrate Thursday with a glass of your favorite malted beverage.

    As one of the most disappointing defeats was back about 1998 when the Vikings were the Vikings and marching to the Super bowl were most people expected them to be that year. They just had one last game to send them to the big game. Despite the coaching staff allowing the team to coast to the end, it came down to one final play. The Kicker, Gary Anderson, had been perfect that year and to finish the season and the win he had to kick what was about a chip shot for him. Out of all the attempts made, he missed this one. Thus continuing a curse to this day that can only be equal the release of Babe Ruth from the Red Socks to the Yankees.

    Oh and how goes Akemi’s viewing of the Stargate?

  10. @ Ponytail – Totally with you on the McEnroe/Borg thing. Back in the day I found Bjorn quite fetching. 🙂

    das

  11. @ shinyhula – Oh, yes – the substitute teacher! 😆 Did you see the sexy vampire sketch? That’s another hilarious one!

    das

  12. It’s obviously not the worst defeat EVER, but this past Monday’s Detroit Lions / Baltimore Ravens game really pissed me off in the officiating department. First there was the pass interference call (that wasn’t) against Detroit. Then there was blatant pass interference IN THE ENDZONE, ON A TOUCHDOWN PASS, where the defender was holding onto the wrist of Detroit’s receiver, and it wasn’t called. Detroit lost by 2 points, so this was a game changing call, possibly putting Detroit out of the running for even a playoff spot, let alone first place in the division. I’m still stewing….

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