Over the almost three years we’ve been together, I’ve gotten know a lot about Akemi. For one, she’s an amazing cook. She also excels at gift-wrapping. She’s incredibly kind and considerate. She loves dogs (especially Bubba). She’s afraid of spiders, mysterious night time noises, and any food that has been sitting in the refrigerator for over a week. Oh, and she’s a tad klutzy. The sight of her wielding a kitchen knife fills me with dread. Still, There’s something downright adorable about the way she’ll trip over the most seemingly innocuous things (a rock, the curb, a discarded lozenge), shouting “Ooooo!” or “Kyaa!” or loosening a cross between a shriek and squeak as she stumbles forward, arms windmilling, hands scrambling for purchase. I have never known a woman with such bad walking luck. It’s as if there exists some inexplicable law of attraction between the heels of her shoes and every crack and cranny in the sidewalk. It’s kind of amusing, almost endearing – unless she has her arm around you at the time in which case, depending on how well-balanced you are in that split second, you could be going down for the count along with her.
There was the time she tripped over the bicycle path while carrying Jelly and fell flat on her face like some hard luck cartoon character, arms outstretched, buffering the blow for my eldest pug who landed, none the worse for wear, and ambled off. There was the time she tripped going up the stairs and broke her glasses. And then, there was the other day…
I came home to find her at the door, looking incredibly sheepish. “I fell again,”she admitted and then, after showing me the beginnings of her various bruises, proceeded to re-enact the sequence of events. She was playing keepaway with our french bulldog, Lulu. Dog toy in hand, she raced down the hall, Lulu hot on her heels. But she was moving too fast, failed to negotiate the turn and wiped out, landing as pictured above – sprawled, left arm extended and still clutching the dog toy. Lulu stopped and looked down at her, perhaps considering how best to console her – then decided against it, grabbed the dog toy out of her hand, and scampered away with her prize.
As a result, I’ve decided to revise my Christmas list insofar as Akemi is concerned. I’m thinking either this –
These –
Or this –
Mailbag:
Anthony Porter writes: “It’s the worst thing to happen to Salt Lake since the Giant Brine Shrimp! (http://youtu.be/OEQd17JjxxU).”
Answer: Terrifyingly tasty!
dasndanger writes: “Joe, I have a few questions… 1. Are you going to restart the BOTM club, perhaps in the new year?”
Answer: Thinking about it.
“2. If so, can we do Dark Matter? (I’m pretty sure we haven’t, though I know you’ve answered questions about it already throughout various blog entries.)”
Answer: Hmmm. I thought we had discussed Dark Matter as a book of the month club selection but, apparently, we haven’t. Great idea now that the trade paperback is out. I’ll schedule it for February.
3. If the BOTM thing is too much, what about a book every other month, or so?
Answer: No, a book a month is fine. And I think I’ll start taking requests this time around as well.
4. Regarding previous BOTM Q&As, when an author doesn’t get back to you with the answers, does it put you off their work?
Answer: Not so much their work as it does hosting a book of the month club. I understand people are busy and try to make things as easy as possible for them to participate – gauging their interest at first and, if they’re keen, sending them the Q&A, informing them that they are free to pick and choose among the questions and that there is no hard deadline to get back to us. Even so, a few of those Q&A’s went out, never to be responded to. And when it happen twice in a row, well, I decided to put the club on indefinite hiatus.
5. Are you reading any comics at the moment?
Answer: I am. In trades, I just finished up Jason Aaron’s Scalped and am still reading Kirkman’s The Walking Dead, Lemire’s Sweet Tooth, and Layman and Guillory’s Chew. As far as ongoing titles, I used to love Iron Man and The Ultimates, but dropped them soon after the creative shift. Still enjoying Waid’s work on Daredevil and Rucka’s Punisher. Same goes for Scott Snyder’s Batman. Jason Aaron on Thor has been a pleasant surprise as has Mark Waid’s take on the Hulk. Fantastic Four, with Fraction assuming writing duties, has also impressed. Still picking up Ultimate Spiderman and Matt Fraction’s Hawkeye. Am sticking with All-New X-Men, Avengers Arena Thunderbolts, and Captain American for now.
PBMom writes: “Thanks everyone for the Patrick birthday wishes. He had a bad seizure on Saturday, but he is okay today. Had a quiet day at school. We go back to the doctor for him after the holidays.”
Answer: Here’s hoping for a happy and restful holiday for both you Patrick.
Bella&Kasper writes: “We had a harrowing experience last night. On the way home from Christmas & wedding (my step daughter is getting married Fri with a reception at our place) shopping, I hit a moose with my brand new little Subaru Forester.”
Answer: Glad to hear you and your hubby are okay (well, better than your Subaru anyway). Where did this happen?
Maggiemayday writes: “Mmm, marzipan. I adore marzipan.”
Answer: Marzipan is a contentious issue. It’s hard to find people not passionate on the subject. I, for one, love it. On other hand, you have people like Akemi and my writing partner, Paul, who hate it.
Paloosa writes: “I got some good news this past week. Thankfully, Norman hasn’t grown much and is considered stable. I don’t have to worry about the little dude for another year.”
Answer: Great to hear.
Ponytail writes: “Hilarious convesation with Akemi. That first picture of her is very pretty. Is it recent? I’m just noting the sleeveless dress. You must keep a very warm house.”
Answer: That’s Japanese fashion for you. Today, she wore a skirt out shopping. In 0 degree (32 Fahrenheit) weather.
mike mcginnis writes: “when is the SGA recap going to continue?”
Answer: Our trip down Stargate: Atlantis memory lane will continue, with SGA’s fifth and final season, in the new year.
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