I had to take a couple of melatonin tablets to fall to sleep last night and ended up dreaming of risky rooftop ball hockey, precariously perched apartments, and Vegas (for some reason, I always dream of Vegas).  Why?  Did I receive some distressing news? Was I upset by a sudden sad turn of events?  Why, yes and yes.

My Snow Monkey, down 30+ points heading into the weekend, came roaring back to to take a 38 point leading into the Monday night game, all but assuring themselves a spot in the post-season.  Only to lose by 6 points.  The loss leaves us tied for the last playoff spot with one game to play.  Ultimately, it’s partly my fault for believing in wide receiver James Jones, partly James Jones’ fault for not putting in a better effort, but mostly, MOSTLY, quarterback Aaron Rodgers’ fault for not once – NOT ONCE! – targeting Jones.  Instead, the Packers focused on establishing the run game – DOWN 3 TOUCHDOWNS! Rodgers threw to everyone BUT Jones – and ended up losing the game, and possibly costing my Snow Monkeys their season.  If I had played someone else, anyone else – Beanie Well!  Malcom Floyd!  Ryan Broyles!  Daniel Thomas!  Hell, even terminally underperforming Dwayne Bowe! – I would have won!

Rodgers and the Packers have officially supplanted the New England Patriots as my #1 team to root against moving forward.  As a result, the Patriots move down to #2 and the rest of the hated teams slide accordingly – the Eagles to #3, Broncos to #4, Jets to #5, 49ers to #6, and the Steelers to #7.

The fates have truly conspired against me.  I was the second highest scoring team of the week – but had the misfortune of playing the top highest scoring team of the week.  Again!

Take a look at the standings…

I mean COME ON!  There we are, sitting in 8th place – a team that has outscored almost every other team in the league except one!

Seriously.  These are my weeks during the fantasy football season:

Tuesday is committed to researching free agent players to add to my bench.  Tuesday nights are long since I’m up until 1:00 a.m. to learn who picked up what player off the waiver wires and, most importantly, find out if I got the players I selected.

Wednesday is spent researching the match-ups for the coming weekend.

I spend Thursday tweaking my starting line-up in advance of any Thursday night match-ups (this Thursday, my QB, Drew Brees, plays against the red hot Atlanta Falcons!) and putting in any late waiver wire requests.

On Friday, I input the stats from the previous night’s game and try to gauge my chances of holding on for the win/pulling off the upset.

Saturday is spent lamenting the fact that I had to wait over two days for more football – and distracting myself with college ball.

Sunday = the BIG day!  Up at 8:00 am, pre-game shows to 10:00 a.m., and then games, games, games!  I’m jumpier than a squirrel with ADD, hopping from one channel to another, catching a TD pass here, a big run there, a blocked field goal, interception return, occasionally the odd sack.  By night’s end, whether I’m jubilant, despondent, or anxiously optimistic – I am also thoroughly exhausted.

Monday’s are a staggered succession of insignificant make-work tasks designed to make time fly enroute to the big Monday Night game where all is either won or lost.  Depending on how things pan out, I either enjoy a peaceful night’s sleep, content in the knowledge that I am one step closer to that coveted playoff spot, or lie awake at night, analyzing the choices and plain bad luck that contributed to my looming downfall.

I also find time to eat, walk the dogs, and update this blog.

So it all comes down to next week’s game against the Savela Skitters, managed by my buddy and former Stargate VFX Supervisor (and future “that secret project” VFX Supervisor?) Mark Savela.  Win and we’re in.  Lose and my Snow Monkeys are done.  And I’ll be very, very, VERY angry.

All is not lost.  Not yet.  But it’s going to be a loooong week.


(Brian Peterson / Zuma Press)

P.S. I was so upset by the loss that Akemi informed me this would be my last year of fantasy football.

29 thoughts on “November 27, 2012: My name is Joe and I am a fantasy football addict!

  1. Joe, it’s been years since my husband played fantasy football, but yes, something similar happened to him, and he quit playing. Doesn’t watch football a whole lot now, but baseball on the other hand…… Akemi, I wish you much luck over the next week.

    Have a great night!!

  2. Oh, well, good thing Cookie handles watching those movies and a blog entry. Frees up a bit of time for you.

  3. Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude. Have some chocolate and a Moscow Mule, and chill the hell out!

    Also, I agree with Akemi. She’s a smart gal, and obviously sees that this obsession of yours isn’t a healthy one. And if there’s one thing I know about it’s obsessions. Fortunately for me, my obsessions – or the truly obsessive part of my interest in a thing – only lasts two years, max. Sometimes it only lasts for a month or so. After I’m past the obsessive part, then the thing just becomes another one of my many interests or hobbies. You can probably do that with this fantasy football thing. Give it a rest and maybe the following year you can enjoy it again, but for funsies, and not for winsies. 😉

    On a related note, I thought about you last night as I read Cold Vengeance, and came to a passage about snow monkeys in the zoo. They were playing and being all cute, but for some odd reason instead of thinking of the furry little beasts as I read the book, all I could think about was football. 😛


  4. Well, I guess these are the times that try men’s souls and all that stuff. I’m confident though, that if worst comes to worst, you be able to pull together the strength to carry on. I know you can do it! 🙂

    And poor Akemi – I envy you not! 🙂

  5. I am so sorry for your losses.
    Fantasy Football is a brutal sport…not for the weak of heart or wrists (all that typing/writing). My Semper Gumbys aren’t doing well either. However, the application of Thanksgiving leftovers helps immensely.

  6. I don’t know much about fantasy football, but I do know some gaming is designed from the ground up to purposely needle that obsessive response. A build up of value and wipe-out can have an unexpectedly intense emotional effect that regroups into extra competitiveness and obsessiveness. All that hard work you put in feels like an investment you’d be wasting to slack off the least bit.

    I find it interesting that you knowing the effect your alternative plays would have keeps your attention even after the battle is waning, encouraging you to rebuild, reducing the chances of quitting after a loss. There’s a lead game designer somewhere who’s about to get an email with an idea for a later version of a game: “taunt players with an alternate universe report of what could have been”. It’s not evil to make games more addictive. It’s just business.

    You’re lucky your game delivers on the promise of limiting the number of possible plays. If it weren’t for all the research you need to do, it might deliver on a long-forgotten promise of game designers to make a multi-player game that doesn’t take over your life.

  7. “I was so upset by the loss that Akemi informed me this would be my last year of fantasy football”
    –I think Andy Reid was told the same thing.

  8. I don’t know nothing about no fantasy football. But you know what’s disappointing? That Syfy is doing a 20th Anniversary Special and while they are interviewing some of the SG1 actors (and Brad W and R Cooper) they don’t have a single SGA or SGU actor scheduled. Or you. I have Extreme disappointment and contempt for Syfy right at this moment. I wish Snow Monkeys would throw a little excrement their way tonight.

  9. @ das-

    Wait? Your obsessions only last around 2 years max? Didn’t a while back you mentioned that you make Mr. das dress up like a Wraith sometimes? ..or was it Wolverine? It was one of those W’s ..wait, it wasn’t Where’s Waldo was it, that can’t be right. 😆

  10. I just realized something..’s almost that time of the year for Joe to break out his magic Weather Wizard Wand and make the blog snow!

    …hey, don’t knock my enthusiasm, I live in the southern part of the US, any snow is a big deal to us. When Joe’s blog snows they cancel schools down here for a week and people buy up all the bottled water in a 50 mile radius.

  11. I was always a Bears fan, myself. Or was it the Cubs? Or maybe Bulls? They came from Chicago anyway!

  12. @ Lewis – 😆 @ Andy Reid! 😆 Brilliant!

    As regards my ‘obsessions’ – like I said, the obsession part only lasts about two years, max…then it just becomes one of my other hobbies. It doesn’t mean that I lose interest in the object of my affection, it just means that I only make Mr. Das wear the white wig once a month, instead of once a week. 😉


  13. As my nephew Brian, a police officer, likes to say: “It’s not a problem until it’s a problem.” Joe, it looks like you’ve got a problem. Fortunately, the problem only lasts for six months out of the year. You’ve got a whole other six months to find another obsession.

    It’s good to see that the Eagles are still in your top five teams to root against. It’s really working this year. I, like you, have been in the anti-Birds camp since they signed dog-murderer Vick. And I couldn’t be happier. I express this regularly in person and on The Facebooks, much to my friends dismay. It brings loads of giggles.

  14. Oooh, cute monkey picture!

    blah blah football blah blah

    Ooh, cute monkey!

    Akemi is right, She’s always right.

  15. I don’t get the whole fantasy football thing but I can understand obsession. I also understand where Akemi is coming from. She doesn’t want to see you (or deal with you) while you are in a full blown OCD moment. I’ve been dealing with my OCD and my son’s for years. With my son, he would be obsessed with pressing the reset button on the bathroom electric receptacle. I reasoned with him but finally I just had to cover the button up with tape. Remove the temptation…..Good luck Akemi!

    One question for you please. How do you know when Sushi is good? I’ve heard people talking about the consequences of bad Sushi and I’ve been lucky not to have found any yet. Food poisoning maybe a great way to fit into those skinny jeans but I’m not that desperate. 😉 Any obvious sign of the bad stuff?

    Das: I loved Cold Vengeance!

    I let a couple of kittens out to play today at the humane society in the front room while I cleaned. There are a couple of small pups in that area but they like cats. When I went to check on the kittens, one of them was in the cage with a pup. I don’t know how the little rascal got into a fastened cage but thank God the pup DID love cats.

  16. @ Tam Dixon – I have been milking Cold Vengeance, not wanting to run out of Pendergast before the next book comes out in December. And then I realized the next book will be hardback, and I’m not sure I want to pay for a hardback when I prefer to read paperbacks (because you can knock them about and not feel so bad about it). Now I don’t know if I want to splurge on the HC, or wait another 6 months or so for the paperback. And e-books are not an option, both because I don’t have an e-reader-thingy, and because I don’t want an e-reader-thingy.


  17. Aww…no more fantasy football! Doesn’t the girl understand how healthy a good obsession is?! Okay…so football is out for next year, what’s going to take its place?

  18. Das: No purchasing hardbacks, no waiting for paperback, and no e-books. Hmm, how about the library? I try and get them in an audio format. Audio books are great to listen on an Mp3 player while I do busy work. If audio is not your thing, you can check out the hardback version. The competition is fierce at our library for new books. That is one reason I switched to e-books/Mp3 versions. Mp3 books are not completely understoond by the locals yet. Even the librarians are confused by the Mp3 CD. They keep asking me if it’s a movie. A whole shelf of Mp3 books, just waiting for me. 🙂

  19. To Joe or anyone else who could answer this question:
    This week the Science channel began syndication of the show Fringe. Now this is Fringe’s 5th and final season of broadcasting and it will end some time late January.
    My question is how is it that this show can be in repeat on a cable network and be on what is called Prime Time and yet Stargate which ran for 17 yrs can not do better than a 3 or 4 am showing on the Syfy network ?
    Why is there no syndication of any of the shows?
    Does the lack of syndication have anything to with the original contracts & the % to be paid?
    Or is it simple that my assumption of the popularity of the franchise is wrong?

  20. Really, no more fantasy football, no more cute monkey pictures. Bummer. I’m rooting for the Snow Monkeys.

  21. Hey Joe,
    Besides the prestige of winning your FF league, do you get any prize money? Or do your buddies just buy you dinner and drinks? Just wondering! Cheers

    Pat 😛

  22. I have a vague connection to greatness…

    Kid solves Rubix in under a minute blindfolded. The time includes the time it took to memorize before he put on the blindfold. His jubilation is so sweet.

  23. @ Tam Dixon – The library is actually an excellent idea! I’m just not sure when they’ll be getting the book in. But I’ma gonna check! 🙂


  24. Joe’s Blog of the few places where you’ll see the words “monkeys” “football team” & “cute” all in the same sentence (including this one!)

  25. Joe, I know I’m late to the party for this day’s post(as I’ve been a bit busier at work recently), but since it’s football related, it’s more appropriate here and I know you’ll see it either way.

    You mention flipping channels back and forth catching plays here and there, do you not have the NFL RedZone channel? It seems right up your alley. There are times that they’ll have a mosaic of 6 games going on one screen. Enough for even the most frantic ADD fantasy footballer!

    I thought you had DirectTV. I’m fairly certain it’s on there, in HD as well. Or, maybe you just like to be your own NFL director. Makes sense. 😉

  26. Everyone has something like this in their lives. Us obsessive-compulsive people will just find something else to substitute eventually. As long as it is not endangering your health or your relationships, I think it’s okay.

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