You ever have one of those mornings where you’re awakened by the sustained whine of your home alarm?  You stumble out of bed and are in the midst of deactivating it, wondering: a ) how your girlfriend could have forgotten about it before letting the dogs out and b) why she hadn’t deactivated it herself, when your girlfriend steps out of the bathroom and asks “What’s going on?”, quashing that possible explanation.  And then you go downstairs to discover the back door open (not just unlocked, but ajar) and, try as you might, you can’t actually recall locking it the previous night although it’s something you routinely do.  And when you’ve almost got yourself convinced that, maybe, you DID forget to lock it and it was merely blown open that morning – until you realize that the door opens outwards, meaning the gust of wind would have had to emanate from inside the house.  Also, adding to your increasing discomfort is the fact that your front gate is wide open and that you DO remember shutting it last night.  So, armed with a makeshift weapon, you work your way systematically from room to room and closet to closet, checking, searching, half-convinced it’s a silly, unnecessary exercise and half-expecting to find some deranged lunatic hunkered down in the crawlspace, poised to spring at you with sharp, dirty fingernails the second you push open the door.  But not finding anything, you breathe a sigh of relief, discard the makeshift weapon, and resume your daily routine, while, in the back of your mind, you can’t help but doubt the efficiency of your search and wonder about those potential hiding places you overlooked or dismissed: the cupboards, under the beds, behind the boxes in the crawlspace.  These notions nag at you as you work on the sixth act of the near-future miniseries you’re writing, unnerving imaginings of some contortionist little person sitting undetected inside your kitchen pantry, silently biding his time, lying in wait for night to fall when he can slip out of hiding to allow his circus cohorts access to your home so that they can execute their carnivalesque orgy of murder and mayhem.

Ever have one of those mornings?  Yes?  No?

In retrospect, I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for what happened.  In order of likelihood:

1. AN HONEST MISTAKE.  I did, in fact, forget to lock the back door last night because I took the dogs to the front yard instead.  It not only wasn’t locked, but wasn’t shut properly yet was still technically “shut” as far as the alarm system was concerned since a subsequent test revealed it could armed in just such a state.  Since the door wasn’t actually closed, it eventually could have been blown open by a gust of wind.  Similarly, a gust of wind could have also blown open the front gate as well.

2. A BURGLAR.  Someone tried to break into the house, managed to pick the lock and open the door – only to trigger the alarm which caused him/her to panic and flee.  I’m going with “pick the lock” because the back door shows no signs of forced entry.  Also, and I’m sure this must be my imagination, the lock seems to open a lot smoother than it used to.

3. HITMAN.  Same scenario as above except that, instead of breaking in with the intention of robbing me, the intruder intended to off me. He/she was either discouraged by the alarm or simply wanted to confirm it was operational before moving on to the next more inspired attempt.

4. GHOST.  My house is haunted by a restless spirit that stepped out back for a morning smoke, triggering the alarm.

What do you guys think?

57 thoughts on “May 17, 2012: Ghost, Burglar, Hitman, or Honest Mistake? You decide!

  1. Actually recent surveys show that most deranged lunatics have nicely manicured nails

  2. Hmmm. Well, my mornings are, sadly, boringly predictable.

    Your options:

    1. A blast of wind in just the right direction could cause enough of a negative pressure effect to pull the door open, given that it MAY not have been fully latched. That would seem to be the most logical explanation. Sometimes though, the world’s just not logical.

    2. It’s difficult to imagine why someone would try to break into the house in the morning, when it’s most likely to be occupied. Then again, burglars tend to be not that bright.

    3. That one can’t possibly be! Who would ever want to hurt someone like you? Although, there is…. and then, there’s that guy…. okay, never mind. Let’s move on.

    4. Perhaps it was actually some trans-dimensional being who slipped into 3-space, freaked, and ran through the door before finally finding his way “home”. And yes, I am working my way through that book, “Hyperspace.”

    You didn’t mention the possibility that it could be an elaborately staged prank by the pugs, just to screw with your mind. Not that they would do just a thing, of course.

    Or would they?

  3. Hi Joe
    I’d go with ‘ghost’. It seems the most plausible of the 4.


  4. Well…first, I have to ask a question. Do you immediately think of your blog readers when stuff like this happens to you? You have such an interesting and varied life. Compared to you, my life is boring.

    Now, I’ll answer you. More than likely, it was an honest mistake. I find that as I get older, I don’t remember to do things that I would do religiously when I was younger. Function of old age, not that I like it of course. LOL

    Have a great night!!

  5. 5. Lawren snuck in to fix your DVR. Not wanting to admit he didn’t do it right before, he said nothing.
    6. Paul hired someone to sneak in and hide in the false wall Lawren installed near your DVR. He hoped to inspire you to really connect with Suspense with a capital “S” as you work on the mini-series. He didn’t realize you would soon be dealing with additional stresses as a result of the google searches you’ve been doing. He will apologize after you develop PTSD symptoms. Also for a couple other things that won’t be funny in retrospect. Also for saying suspense should have a capital “S”.
    7. A drunk/Ambien-inspired mistake. Also Lawren. As was the person Paul hired in #6.

  6. Forgot “STALKER: Someone tried to break into the house, managed to pick the lock and open the door – only to trigger the alarm which caused him/her to panic and flee.” 😉

  7. What about

    5. ASGARD

    A sneaky Asgard beamed into your home, probably Loki, looked around and opened the backdoor by mistake thinking it led elsewhere. Upon the alarm triggering, simply beamed away.

    Okay since you want a serious answer

    I’m guessing Point 1, you simply made a mistake. That said that could of been a costly mistake, we live in a world where you need your doors locked at night.

  8. Dear me, no… I can honestly say I have not had one of those mornings. The other day I did wake with a nasty pain in my chest and thought the worst. Further awakening proved the pain was due to a hungry cat sitting on my chest. Yes, I yelled and yes, Basil took off. Once I realized I wasn’t having a heart attack, I apologized to her.

    I think # 2 – a burglar frightened off by the alarm. What, no dead bolt locks in Canada? I have many, invest in some Joe. Lucky your pups didn’t run out the door too! Chasing said burglar… tsk-tsk.

    @ Deni my heartfelt condolences to you and your family. Elway was well loved, and I’m sure he knew it.


  9. I’m going with Ghost. Although gforce’s explanation sounds reasonable. I hope you don’t have a poltergeist tonight.

  10. Was it windy this morning? If so, I vote for number 1, otherwise I’d go with number 2. Maybe you should check with the police to see if there has been any reports of break-ins or other suspicious activities in your area.

    My mother came home to burglars once. They apparently had a lookout somewhere because when she pulled into her driveway, she found her washer and dryer sitting outside and the front door of the house busted in, but no evidence of burglars. She immediately went to the neighbors to phone the police (this was pre-cellphone days and she didn’t want to go in her house until the police had checked it out) and the neighbor told her that she heard a vehicle racing away a minute or so before.

    She lost some jewellery, coins, and a few nick-knacks, but nothing of great value.

    I think most burglars run at the first sign of tripping an alarm or if someone shows up, so when your alarm went off, if it was a burglar, I’m sure they left as quickly and quietly as they could.

  11. I’ve been awakened to the alarm going off because my husband forgot to disarm it before opening the door. We’ve also been awakened in the middle of the night to the alarm being set off by the basement motion detector, but couldn’t find anything wrong. A couple of days later my sister and I found a bird in the basement. It somehow got in through the chimney, set off the alarm and then hid out for a couple of days.

  12. What, no motion detector lights on the outside??, the rabbits set ours off all the time. I do the door check every night b4 bedtime, but I agree, after you do something like that every day, it gets to the point of, did I check the back door or just think I did.?,hmm. Heck they make an app for your cell phone now to make sure your garage door is down,and put it down with the push of a button. yep I can see forgetting that also.
    ~And I would go with the ghost theory, coz that just sounds cool!

  13. @2 cats: Thank you so much. I hope he did, because I sure do love him, always will. I always told him I loved him more than all the stars in the sky. 🙂

    Hi Joe, we’ve had a couple of break-ins over the years. Once I actually confronted the guy with a kitchen knife (Mr. Deni was working nights and the bastard was headed toward my daughter’s room). Thankfully, the guy ran, knocked me down on the way, but we were ok. Lucky for him we didn’t have any big dogs then. The other time, my son was just a baby and my daughter was 3. Someone broke in through my son’s bedroom window while we were sound asleep. The window locks were not great, but the neigborhood was quite and you didn’t hear much of stuff like this. The next morning, I couldn’t find my purse and was going nuts trying to figure out what I’d done with it. Then I realized that the tiny tv in my daughter’s room was gone. In my panic, I called the police…LOL, no idea why. I was just happy nobody had been hurt, but I never slept deeply again. Since we’ve been here, it’s been Mr. Deni that has scared the crap out of me. He leaves when it’s still dark, so I’m usually up because of the noise/lights/INCONSIDERATE SHIT he does on a daily basis. Heh, you’d think after thirty-something years of marriage, I’d get over it, but noooo, I’m pissed off almost every day. After he leaves, I finish up a cuppa tea, cuddle up with, oy, Elway…damn…and fall back asleep. Twice he’s come back and not announced himself, so I think there’s somebody breaking in. He did this just last week! He’s just lucky I haven’t taken a swing at him with the baseball bat yet. 🙂 That said, I hope it was just a mistake with you, but maybe get extra locks on those doors? Please stay safe!

  14. I was having a similar issue frequently waking up to a mysteriously unlocked front door or a mysteriously raised toilet seat. As I am of the female persuasion and live alone this was more than worrisome. The door issue was eventually attributed to sleep walking my dog discovered by planting the leash in an unusual spot before bed and it returning to its normal spot by morning. As for the toilet seat, well I have absolutely no idea what my subconscious is trying to tell me but it can’t be good. Maybe it’s time for a video camera by the back door.

  15. I’m going with a deranged Stargate fan who broke into the home, planning to hold you hostage until you wrote an entire 6th season of Atlantis (featuring John and Teyla hooking up). Fortunately, the kidnapping was foiled when the deranged fan was killed and completely devoured by a pack of pugs and French bulldogs.

  16. 1. AN HONEST MISTAKE. No you didn’t forget to do all that. No, a gust of wind did not blow open the door and gate. No, no mistake.

    2. A BURGLAR. **Bingo!** That service technician pretended to be afraid of dogs. He was casing the joint and came back for the goods. The alarm system scared him off. They say most burglaries occur between 4 and 6 am.

    3. HITMAN. Joe, Joe, Joe. A hitman? Who would that be…Tara? Carl? Ivon? Is your mini series about a hitman and you have hitmen on the brain?

    4. GHOST. Maybe. Your house is getting older now. Who knows what happened in the house while you were gone. Maybe Lawren had seances.

    Or maybe . . .

    5. THE DOGS. They have been sneaking out for years, taking the car out for joy rides while you slept, meeting all their friends on the corner by the fire-hydrant. They are getting older now and a little more careless. Or maybe they stayed out too late and rushed back into the house forgetting to close the doors.

    6. JOE SLEEPWALKS. You’ve been working too much lately and you continue working in your sleep trying to write more acts. I use to sleepwalk when I was a kid. Once my mom stopped me as I was headed out the front door.

    Once my fire alarm went off one morning at 2 am. I never thought, “FIRE!!!”. I only thought “Turn that damn thing off!!”. I got a ladder from the garage and yanked it off the ceiling, then went back to bed. The next day I was examining it closely and notice a dead gecko inside. I think it crawled in there and it’s body heat set the alarm off. Then the alarm noise gave it a heart attack. Or maybe it was when I was hitting it with my fist trying to get the alarm to shut up.

  17. I think it was Carl who got to town without a hotel reservation and thought Joe wouldn’t mind if I stayed over. He came on in, then left this am to tend to his business and left the gate open. You need to fuss at him for that, Joe. Being a good guest means closing the gate when you leave.

    I was robbed once. They only took my jewelry which sadly for them (and me too) it was just costume and not worth anything. Hubby leaves the garage door up all the time. Thank goodness we are blessed to live in a good neighborhood and not be robbed at night. (Of course the garage is such a mess, it might be some time before we realized anything was gone.) For 3 years we didn’t even have a lock on the door that went from the garage to the inside of the house. but now we do..But we forget to lock it. oh well..

    Our neighbors were robbed one morning around 8:30 am. Then the thief started going to the neighbors’ houses and ringing doorbells to see who was home. Those not home were robbed. You should have seen the look on the guy’s face when I opened the door. He ran down the front steps like he had seen a ghost. Thirty minutes later the cops came to my door and asked if I had seen anybody new in the neighborhood that morning. They said these thieves prey on people who work and aren’t home. Glad to be unemployed that day!

  18. Well, since my first picks of STALKER & ASGARD have already been taken, I’ll go with SQUIRRELS!! — After “picking” the lock, They probably hypnotized the dogs into nudging the door open…. You might want to recount your lawn ornaments – any extras??

    Actually, I’m surprised that Lawren hasn’t set up some video camera around the perimeter yet..?

  19. bars, lots of bars, or security screens, I don’t trust security systems, and a thin pane of glass, regardless of what people says. loved your SGU synopsis, and again I thank you for your creativity.

  20. I had almost exactly the same experience. The only major difference was that I was on the tenth act of the near-future miniseries I was writing.

    Two other small differences though were that instead of an alarm, it was a pile of precariously stacked books knocked over by the cat and the open door was really an inadvertently closed door to the room with the kitty box.

    I have to go with gforce and suggest that the dogs were somehow involved.


  21. I actually had someone break into my apt in college, cut the apt phone lines in fact– I froze. Utterly totally could not get OFF my bed frozen in one spot for long enough for the intruder to have come in and butchered me. By the time I FINALLY got up and found the phone dead and that the only chair that I thought I could put under the doorknob since the latch was a joke was too short, I heard my neighbors yelling for me because their phones were off and they say my door open. My apt manager (who lived in the next building) came pretty quickly and was outraged I didn’t have the sense to open my window and simply go out on the fire escape and flee. I didn’t even THINK of that obvious response.

    Thinking back, I wonder if that is why he insisted that winter on taking me on a winter survival training in the mts? LOL. Oh yeah and lest I forget the end of THAT adventure, 3rd cold f’ing miserable day in, we met a wild boar and I told him I was done, pack up it was OVER.

  22. Once I did accidently leave the front door open all night. But I realized I did it, so I wasn’t wondering how it came to be open. Still, all the worst case scenarios went running through my head for days afterwards.

    Now, I don’t want to scare you, but you did have a stranger in your home recently. Any time you have a security breach you have to consider who were the last people you had inside your house. Not only did the DVR guy get a layout of your house, he also knows that the worst your security dogs will do when confronted by a stranger is probably run in circles and pee. Now, I’m not suggesting the DVR guy did it, but guys talk, and maybe he knows a few shady characters with big ears who overheard his description of you, your house, your dogs, and your hot girlfriend. So, they stake out your place, wait for the lights to go out, and they try the gate…open!…then they try the door…OPEN!…and just when they think they’re home free, the alarm goes off, and they bolt.

    So, yeah…I’m going with someone forgot to lock the door, and an opportunist found it open. Lock up well tonight, and invest in a bigger dog. 😉


  23. Scary stuff, Joe. Ponytail‘s comment about the technician casing your house is, unfortunately, a possibility. And das paints a pretty convincing picture. However, I’m guessing your alarm scared them off and (hopefully) provided a deterrent for any future attempts. Nevertheless, I’d be extra careful about locking those doors in the future.

    I have, on rare occasions left the house with the back door open. Not just unlocked, but open. And once, a long time ago, went to bed and woke up to find the garage door open and the door from the garage to the house unlocked. But I’ve got a big dog that has a very scary bark and doesn’t much like strangers in her territory. So unless a burglar was really convinced that my house had something they wanted, I think they might decide it wasn’t worth getting chewed up.

  24. Actually, I too was thinking Lawren has something to do with it. Maybe all that going in and out to adjust the dish? I dunno, either way, at least you know your alarm works well!

    I like your take on where the SGU movie would go but, for me, it takes away a key element as to why I preferred Stargate to any other sci-fi series, it takes place modern day. There seems to be an unspoken set of scientific rules that govern a modern day series versus that of one that takes place in the future or even a long, long time ago.

    My idea isn’t too far off from yours(partly influenced by ideas you’ve dropped here many times before). Personally, I would’ve liked to have seen the A Team, as you put it(Carter, Daniel, McKay, maybe others like Zalenka and Shepherd for giggles and Beckett to help TJ, also for their Ancient gene), gate aboard Destiny only a year or so after Eli finally fixes the stasis pod using the shuttle’s rerouted power, reawakening the ship and everyone in stasis. Apparently, the Lucian Alliance finally attacked the Langarans and SG Command came to their rescue with a fleet of ships, consequently achieving a treaty by which they allow Earthicans to use their gate to reach Destiny. Having brought all kinds of “power” goodies, ZPM’s and some MK11 Naquadah reactors(hey, Carter and McKay have been working hard since Moon Base Atlantis took effect). This brings Destiny’s full weapons systems to life and awakens areas of the ship they never knew existed, like longer range radars and antennae. Now, with a better fix on the “signal”, they plot a direct course for the source.

    The source turns out to be a retransmission from the planet that created the drones and their motherships, a faction of Destiny’s descendants that splintered off and wanted to be sure the other groups didn’t advance technologically further than where they wanted them to, thus always having them under their technological thumb. There, they meet the caretakers of what’s left of the once great civilization. People who live a meager existence because they’re at the mercy of their own creation: a new class of super drones that take flight when Destiny approaches. Ships that the makers had in reserve should their homeworld ever be attacked.

    Well, a big battle ensues. The caretakers, being sorry for what their ancestors have made and seeing how Destiny is their only way off the planet, agree to turn over the code that will effectively fry the circuitry of all drones galaxy-wide, but also destroy all their technology on the planet. They decide that being with fellow humans of common descent is worth it.

    With everybody back on board Destiny at the big “homecoming” banquet, Lt. James radios in from the bridge. She’s picking up a signal, very faint, but very familiar. Both A Teams(Earth and Destiny’s), look at each other with a smerky smile and the camera cuts to black as everybody is jumping out from the tables and Young starts to yell: “Major, set a course for….”.

    But now that I’ve written this, it can’t be done. I won’t be happy if this is what happens cause I’ll already know what’s going to transpire. So I’ll suggest a second course of events:

    McKay, Zalenka, and Carter gate aboard and perfect Wormhole drive with the three Zed PM’s they brought with them. Destiny makes it to the center of the universe and finds where the Ancients really live. They have a BBQ and laugh it up good. Then they go home.

    Sound good?

    Let’s shoot it!


    -Mike A.

  25. G’day Joe

    Hitman, I reckon.

    Is your life insurance policy up to date and who is the beneficiary. I seriously would interrogate them. Whoever it was, hired the hitman…

  26. Just to put your mind at ease, do a youtube search for lock picking.*

    If you have a Kwikset lock (like most people) it takes less than 10 seconds to pick with tools you can make yourself out of common household items.

    Personally, I’m betting that one of the dogs pushed the door open. If your dogs are anything like this dog: I can totally see it happening.

    Just out of curiousity, were your dogs whistling nonchalantly this morning?

    *J/K you’ll never sleep again

  27. Maybe it was Robert Kinsey, Citizen Joe, or one of a dozen other people that have broken into Jack O’Neill’s house?

  28. @deni: My condolences. I’m sure Elway will wait for you in the hereafter.

    @ Joe M: You’ve mentioned possible criminal activity around your house before, so I think you & Akemi should have exited from the opposite door and called the police. You live in a major city; let the police check for bad guys next time.

    Like JeffW’s mom, we suffered a daytime burglary in 1993, just after occupying our current house. Long story short, I went out for quick lunch, and burglars grabbed several items in only 30 minutes’ time. You bet I turned around, got out and called police, rather than look around myself!

    @gforce: I vaguely recall police telling me then that daytime burglaries are common, since houses are often unoccupied during business hours.

    Husband & I have always been security-conscious. Heck, growing up in rural New Jersey, half-mile from nearest neighbor and 5–10 miles from nearest police, Mom insisted on locked doors and first-floor windows every night.

    @DP: Ironic you should mention “drunk/Ambien”. Remorseful woman here in San Antonio just received probation for nearly killing a child. She sleep-drove, due to taking Ambien after three glasses of wine.

    Stopping here because it’s past my (stated) bedtime.

    PS–Joe, bought plane tickets today. Flying up evening of Sun. 27th instead of daytime 28th.

  29. In some houses, opening or shutting one door causes enough pressure to push/pull another door open if it’s not latched securely. My parents’ house is sealed up tight enough that this happens.

  30. Uh, wait a minute… you have three – THREE – dogs. Smallish and friendly, yes, but surely not silent? Wouldn’t they at least have voiced a welcome to the newcomer, if they didn’t object to an intruder?

    Which puts me back to the “accident” category.

  31. It was totally a hitman. All the evidence points to it. Now you must… flee. Come to Germany make a huge convention with ALL Stargate actors/writers/directors and invite me as a VIP and then maaaayyyybeeee, you get of alive.



  32. Can I say all of the above? You left the door not clicked into place, your usually non-interfering house ghost was having a bad day and needed to go out for a walk. Her angst caused an increase in energy around her and the door she usually floats through, in its weakened locked state, opened fully as she went to pass through. She walks straight into the hired hitman (some Stargate people really hold a grudge Joe) and the feeling of the ghost walking through him freaks him out so much he runs off. An opportunist walking past hears the commotion and notices the door. Thinking he could get away with at least a home theatre system we can only dream of, he goes to walk inside, setting off the alarm.

    I live in a neighbourhood where we can still leave doors unlocked, but I didn’t 9 years ago. Before I met my Husband I lived in a neighbourhood adjoining a bad part of town. Someone was trying to break into the skylight while my then boyfriend and I slept. My ex was an AFL player. If you’ve seen the sport you know they’re not small. He jumps out of bed, grabs the Samoan beheading tool he was given as a gift for coaching Samoan locals, off the wall and chases this guy down the street. Starkers. He didn’t get him.

    A few weeks later he was playing interstate and I heard the sound again. I had the Samoan beheading tool by the bed. I jump out of bed, run to the back door and, also starkers, start yelling for the guy to come and get me. After what seemed forever I heard the noise again. I walked closer to the sound. Turns out the neighbours were sheeting new laserlight on their roof and their dog was walking over sheets on the ground.

  33. My alarm system will arm if the back door is almost closed. And the front door will pop open if it isn’t latched and the back door is opened. My nephew did that while house-sitting, didn’t lock the front door and it popped open when he left out the back. The neighbor saw it open in the morning (around 4) and called the cops. They knew we were out of town. The cops got my niece to come over (that part I have never figured out), asked why all the trashcans were knocked over (cat plays with them) and raised their eyebrows at the extensive sword collection on the walls. Mostly stupid collector blades, but a few are real enough and sharp enough to damage me if I tried to use them. I figure a fat, nekkid lady screaming her head off with a Viking sword in hand would be sufficient scare off most thieves.

    (Oh dear, TMI on the lack of jammies?)

    We have a lot of opportunistic burglaries, trying unlocked doors, and snatch and grab. When I am home, the doors are locked. I’ve called the cops on the non-emergency number a few times over the years for weird folks on the doorstep at weird hours. One guy tried to sell me a laptop out of his backpack. One group was obviously looking to score drugs and they had the wrong place. Unlocked cars are begging to be rummaged through.

    Your gate being open is the part that doesn’t fit. Lock your doors at night, unless Akemi has secret mad ninja skills.

  34. Just after I say what a safe neighbourhood I live in, two explosions go off.

  35. Can’t say I’ve had one of those mornings as we don’t have a security system, but I have had doors open and close “by themselves”. I’m voting for ghosts. 🙂 We call ours Mr. Nobody, but that’s not very creative. I’m sure you could come up with something better.

  36. Ponytail has a point. You’ve been researching alarm systems.

    das has a point, too, that it could be serious.

    @baterista9 – sorry if I triggered a reference to something traumatic in the news. I tightly control what media gets to me so I didn’t know. It wasn’t intentional.

  37. Makes me wonder if there were any other break ins on your block where they were successful just before or after they were at your place. Would confirm that it was probably a robber at the door.

  38. @ Narelle – No worries. I’m sure the ‘explosions’ you heard were probably just someone stepping on a couple of those bigarse spiders you have down there. 😉


  39. I vote for the forgot to lock the door but instead of a burglar don’t discount a confused drunken neighbor. A local radio celb told a story from his youth about how in a drunken stupor tried to climb into a window of “his house” when he couldn’t get his key into the lock. Turns out it was his neighbor’s home.

  40. Even more logical than forgetting to lock the door. You woke in the middle of the night, or sleep-walked, going outside then back to bed. You then awoke when the breeze triggered a movement to set off the alarm. Not remembering the previous night, you then investigated.
    Unfortunately, I’d honestly go with burglar. In the time it took you to stumble around, find a makeshift weapon, then head to investigate, the culprit is far away.
    Things to do in the future. Buy any of a number of stickers, such as “I am only armed 4 days a week. Are you feeling lucky?”. or, “Insured by Smith and Wesson”. Get a big dog(I’d recommend a big cat like a tiger but that wouldn’t bode well for the canines in the house), train it to be silent, and preferably to attack interlopers at crotch level. This also discourages uninvited and annoying, but otherwise innocent, visitors. Buy a audio tape of a large cat or dog, and set it on a timer. Growling, barking, and bones crunching in powerful jaws make an impresson. You could also put a nice pile of fake poo in the yard for added realism. Preplan. Have at least 1 improvised or real weapon in every room, prefeably placed where not in immediate site. Can include screwdrivers, hammers, pick axes, clubs, swords, maces, tazers, or other items of choice. That way, no matter where you are at, you know you have a weapon in easy reach.
    At least your alarm system worked. Just take care, as we would hate to be inconvienanced by you being hospitalized after taking on some drug crazed interlopers.

  41. “You ever have one of those mornings where you’re awakened by the sustained whine of your home alarm?”

    Many times. It’s usually me that’s set it off though!

  42. Found a good explanation Joe.

    It was Sadako from the movie The Ring. She came out your TV and was spooked by the alarm and left.

    Remember this scene?

  43. Ockham’s Razor – the simplest answer is likely the right one.


  44. Do you still check under your bed at night before going to sleep? You really do have a wonderful imagination.

    I vote for the 👻ghost.

  45. Oh yeah, I’ve had moments like that (especially wondering if I forgot to look in XYZ space for said intruder. It’s an uncomfortable feeling. I sometimes forget to lock my back door. Maybe I shouldn’t post that in public viewing. I’ll come home from being at Patrick’s school volunteering all day to find I didn’t lock the door, and so grateful everything is still in the house. I vote for simple oversight. When we have a lot on our plate, our brains get scattered and we forget to do things we normally do on a routine basis.

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