If you could be any superhero, who would you be?  And, honestly, would it be all that thrilling?  I mean think about it.  On the one hand, you have all sorts of cool superpowers.  On the other hand, you can’t put them to any worthwhile use.  As a superhero, your powers are pretty much reserved for tedious tasks like helping people.   Seriously.  What’s the use of having super strength if you can’t wreck stuff?  Or what would be the point of having powers of invisibility if you couldn’t sneak into top secret government facilities or sold-out sporting events?  And why even bother with x-ray vision if you couldn’t use it to cheat at cards or pick out the winning scratch cards at your local convenience store.

Sure, being a superhero looks great on (comic book) paper but, realistically, the life of a supervillain is where it’s at.  No responsibilities, no inhibitions, and not a care in the world outside of going to prison or getting the tar beaten out of you by your arch-nemesis.  Also, the smallest successes can yield a host of perks, from your own goon squad to a force-shielded castle in the clouds.  Given the choice, why wouldn’t you be a supervillain?

So, if you could be any supervillain, who would you be?

I’d be one of the following:

#10: Electro

Powers: The ability to control electricity.

Why? – Granted, Electro was, at best, a B level villain, but that was only because he couldn’t imagine greater.  So much wasted potential!  I enjoy the occasional opportunity to be flashy and, really, you can’t get much flashier than 1 billion volts.

#9: Weather Wizard

Powers: Ability to control weather.

Why? – Most of the time my superpowers would probably go toward planning my weekends.  On weekdays, who knows.  Dust devils, hailstones, and a rain of frogs maybe.  I love the fact that old school Weather Wizard used a magic wand to control the weather.  And you thought wearing an opera cape was ostentatious.

#8: Mysterio

Powers: Master hypnotist, magician, special effects master and illusionist armed with a holographic projector and hallucinogenic gas.

Why? – Sure, he doesn’t have any superpowers per se and, yes, his helmet does look like a fishbowl but, damnit, I thought he was just the ultimate badass when I was seven years old watching the old Spiderman cartoon.  Consider this an old school pick.

#7: Magneto

Powers: The ability to generate and control magnetism.

Why? – Two words: Flying car.

#6: Vandal Savage

Powers: Immortality; enhanced healing.

Why?  Supervillainy aside, the fact that he’s been around since the dawn of humanity makes him the ultimate know-it-all and that alone is reason enough for me.   Think how much fun I could have annoying others at dinner parties and on radio phone-in shows.

#5: Deathstroke

Powers: Heightened strength, speed, agility, stamina, and healing ability.  Skilled in the use of multiple weapons.

Why? – I enjoy the freedom that comes with freelancing so, if I couldn’t be a freelance writer, I suppose the next best thing would be a freelance mercenary.  Good money, great travel opportunities, and a variety in assignments ensures never a dull moment.

#4: Dr. Doom

Powers: Genius inventor and occasional dabbler in sorcery.

Why? – He runs his own country, owns his own castle, and makes free use of the words “fool”, “dolt”, and “cretin”.  We also share an affinity for referring to ourselves in the third person.

#3: Deadpool

Powers: Marksman, expert swordsman, and highly skilled fighter.  Regenerative abilities that make him almost impossible to kill.

Why? – I admire a lunatic with a sense of humor and, honestly, you’re not going to find a funnyman any crazier (or a crazyman any funier) than Deadpool.  He seems like a guy who really enjoys his work and enjoying what you do is very important.

#2: Black Adam

Powers: Super endurance, speed, strength, knowledge, and the ability to fly.

Why?  – I like the outfit.

#1: Lex Luthor

Powers: Genius level intelligence.

Why? – I think I’d enjoy a life that would allow me the best of both worlds: the ability to conquer Earth and its spandexed champions, and the luxury of being able to get into all the hot restaurants and parties when I’m not plotting global domination.

A reminder to get your questions in for writer James Moran (Dr. Who, Torchwood, Primeval) [May 6, 2011: James Moran! Fandom Fury! And Reflecting Back On SG-1′s Fifth Season!].  You have until Monday!

47 thoughts on “May 8, 2011: If you could be any supervillain, who would you be? My Top 10!

  1. Not sure what you’re referring to. It clearly says “cape”. 😉

  2. As soon as I saw the title I thought “Lex Luthor.” Followed by Magneto. Number three on the list would be Galactus. Destroyer of worlds, the only sentient to have survived literally from the beginning of time, and cool, albiet traitorous vassals. Juggarnaut comes in on the list, as I think being unstoppable would be a great asset in the after-Thanksgiving day shopping rush.Im blanking out on other likely choices. Guess it’s time for bed. Nice topic, and it’s fun wracking my brains going through the list of baddies. Try to come up with a few other choices before tomorrow evening.

  3. Wait…until Monday…WHEN? Monday morning? Monday evening? What if you do one of those really early blog entries, like on your lunch break, or something? Can’t you give us until Tuesday? (Since, ya know, it’s been a busy weekend and tomorrow is the first day back to work, and…am I whining too much?)

    I’ll have to give the supervillain thing some thought. While there are one or two villain-y sorts that I like (Zenith, Nuada, etc), none are true comic book villains, and certainly not supervillains. In fact, I’m not sure I even pay much attention to supervillains except for hoping they get their comeuppance. Most just come across like sorta douche-y types…the kind that sit in restaurant windows, making fun of tramps and teamsters… 😉


  4. *sigh* Oh, Joey… editing is NOT a supervillain superpower… *shakes head in dismay*


  5. Oh wait, it says superhero and supervillain:

    “May 8, 2011: If you could be any supervillain, who would you be? My Top 10!

    May 8, 2011 by josephmallozzi

    If you could be any superhero, who would you be?”

    As a supervillain, I’d be Mr. Jinks from Pixie and Dixie.

    I would be Bugs Bunny as my superhero. 🙂

  6. Or maybe the best supervillain is the person at SyFy Channel who cancelled StarGate Universe?

    Shame we can’t edit our comments.

  7. My choice for supervillain would probably be Deathstroke. I remember the Judas Contract (Classic, Adapt it to Animated already!) And it seems like there was a description of him somewhere that summed him up as
    Captain America (Super Soldier) if he were an amoral free agent.

    Though Taskmaster is pretty bad ass too. The two of them really need to face off.

    Luthor tho…I mean sure, he’s brilliant but imagine being that brilliant and still feeling inferior next to Superman. Same with Doom, he kinda lives in Reed’s shadow. And Vandal Savage…sure he’s immortal but with all that time, shouldnt he be running the world by now? Orrrr…maybe he is but he’s like a puppet master and no one realizes that he’s in charge….genius!

  8. I can’t think of any!! What does this mean??! I just don’t know how to be really evil! If I had powers, I’d want to use them for good…I just can’t help it. I am a failure at this supervillain-y stuff. 🙁 The closest I can come up with is Prince Nuada (he was never in a comic book, though). He was good with a blade, and was basically just an eco-terrorist. If I’m gonna be bad, at least let it be in an attempt to save the planet. Plus he had that gorgeous long white hair. If I were Nuada, I’d just spend hours with a brush in front of a mirror, primping and preening and looking pretty…then I’d go out and plant a tree.



  9. Maggie! No question! As a kid, I loved him because he had that really neat costume, but I loved him even more when his backstory began to be revealed and the character was fleshed out somewhat. I liked the fact that he and Xavier were friends at one point, but their paths diverged, based in large part on their experiences in life. And, of course, he has those SUPER powers, and can fly, and can build his own satellite base, and can kick Wolvie’s ass when he wants to, and is a GENIUS!!!

  10. By the way, is the Baron going to be PO’d at you for not putting him in your list?

  11. From yesterday’s discussion…David Tennant was definitely the best of the 3 modern Doctors, followed by Matt Smith and Christopher Eccleston. And Karen Gillan is by far the best companion.

  12. If I could be a supervillian I would be…

    V1 Jets

    They keep whatever money they take, all the while knowing that they’ve done wrong without a speck of bad conscious or desire to return what is not theirs …but I digress.

  13. Some would say that Superman and Batman are really villains.

    Look at all the damage that has been done to their respective cities after they came on the scene. Metropolis, Gotham… they were nice little towns until the superheroes popped up and incited all those unruly villains to come to town with their dastardly plots, unhinged ideas, and mass violence. And let’s not even talk about Green Lantern and Coast City (it was blown off the map). Remember, kids, if a superhero moves in next door there goes the neighborhood!

    Marvel used to have a comic book series called “Damage Control” about the group for hire that comes in and cleans up all the damage done after superhero battles… I’m thinking the Hulk kept them pretty busy let alone worrying about supervillains.

  14. Actually, if I had to pick any supervillain to be, I’d go off the board with Karl Stromberg from “The Spy Who Loved Me”.

    Thinks about all the nifty stuff at your disposal:
    – The coolest undersea lair ever created
    – Your backyard is the biggest aquarium in the world (since it IS the world)
    – Neato personal submarines with weapons
    – Speedboats
    – Helicopters
    – Retro-cool escape pods that look like Christmas ornaments but provide the perfect opportunity for some deep-sea shagging action
    – Jaws & Sandor*
    – Indoor monorail
    – Elevator shark tank trap for pesky service people (or superspies) who piss you off
    – Nearly-impentetrable control room with live-voiced countdown timer**
    – A tanker that eats nuclear submarines for lunch (they’re not just for breakfast anymore)
    – And of course, Naomi

    * Sandor is an Optional component
    ** Countdown timer requires Henchmen, not included


    Question for James Moran: When you’re writing a single episode of a series that has such a rich mythology (Doctor Who’s ‘The Fires of Pompeii’) and you have to include references to things that have come before and will come later on, how much more difficult does that make your job as a writer? Who tells you what you have to include? Do they tell you why?

  15. oh and a question for James Moran: I have noticed certain often repeated story elements over the last few years. The Doctor dies and then we see him from another time still alive with the implication that he will die because he already did sorta. They’ve gone to that well more than a few times. Then there’s the Doctor scares off the bad guy by sheer force of personality, which is okay if you don’t overuse it but before long it starts to feel kinda Deux Ex Machina.

    Do you think Dr Who lends itself to more arbitrary story resolutions just by the chaotic nature of the Doctor himself?

  16. Freaky. When I read the title my first thought was Lex Luthor. Get out of my mind!

  17. I agree, supervillains are way cooler. I don’t read comic books and Stargate is really the only sci-fi stuff I’ve watched with real intent. So, while he’s not technically a villain or a comic book character, I’m gonna go with Michael Corleone.

  18. I’d be Molecule Man! What couldn’t that guy do? He was a demi-god at least, even though I’m unsure whether he is supposed to be immortal.

    As for Lex Luther, I don’t consider him a true super villain. What super powers did he have? He did attempt to take on a super hero, Superman, bound by his moral code. However, if he took on Molecule Man, I’d assume his molecules would be arranged in a very inconvenient way to live! 🙂

  19. http://thehomeworld.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/mr-sinister.png

    Mr. Sinister

    I’m a people watcher, generally observant I pick up on things that other people fail to notice. Similarly Mr. Sinister enjoyed studying people in particular mutants that is scientifically examine them to find out what made them tick.

    A creation of Apocalypse Mr. Sinister aka Nathaniel Essex was stripped of all his emotions and felt this was a benefit enabling him to pursue his scientific research without second guessing himself due to emotional entanglements. I really liked the part in the origins of Mr. Sinister where upon being transformed by Apocalypse he looks at the picture of his wife and comments on how he knows he should feel something but there just isn’t anything there, its all gone.

    Mr. Sinister also isn’t one of those way out there super villains. He operates from the shadows and often times you don’t find out he’s behind it until its too late or he’s long gone and by then the damage is done and irreparable. His actions have permanently traumatized certain heroes for example making a clone of Jean Grey and manipulating Scott Summers to produce a son he can control.

  20. Best super-villain? Captain Obvious says Anubis. Then Baal, Apophis, and Sokar.

    If it needs to be of a drawn variety, definitely The Brain if only for the sheer brilliance of (his sidekick) Pinky’s ability to know what he’s “Pondering”.

    The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?
    Pinky: I think so, Brain, but how are we going to make pencils that taste like bacon? Or maybe we should make bacon that tastes like pencils. Narf.

    The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?
    Pinky: I think so Brain, but Zero Mostel times anything will still give you Zero Mostel.

    The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?
    Pinky: I think so, Brain, but how will we get the Spice Girls into the paella? (Obligatory food reference #1)

    The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?
    Pinky: I think so Brain, but… Kevin Costner with an English accent? I dunno.

    The Brain: Are you pondering what I’m pondering?
    Pinky: I think so, Brain, but can the Gummi Worms really live in peace with the Marshmallow Chicks? (Obligatory food reference #2)

    The Brain: Are you pondering what I’m pondering?
    Pinky: I think so, Brain, but how will we get a pair of Abe Vigoda’s pants?

    The Brain: Are you pondering what I’m pondering?
    Pinky: I think so, Brain, but…Pete Rose? I mean, can we trust him?

    The Brain: Are you pondering what I’m pondering?
    Pinky: Woof, oh, I’d have to say the odds of that are terribly slim, Brain.
    The Brain: True.
    Pinky: I mean, really, when have I ever been pondering what you’ve been pondering?
    The Brain: To my knowledge, never.
    Pinky: Exactly. So, what are the chances that this time, I’m pondering what you’re pondering?
    The Brain: Next to nil.
    Pinky: Well, that’s exactly what I’m thinking, too.
    The Brain: Therefore, you ARE pondering what I’m pondering.
    Pinky: Poit, I guess I am.


  21. I’d rather be a superhero. I can never be evil. If I had super powers, I’d use them for good. 🙂 I would be like a Supergirl, or something like that. Or…kinda like Sailor Moon. I’ve always loved Sailor Moon. My favorite Sailor was Sailor Mars. I loved how she could control fire, pretty cool. 🙂

  22. Coucou! ça va bien Joseph?

    j’ai passé un super week end!! Lol j’ai pensé à vous car j’ai mangé pleins de bonnes choses :)!!

    Je dois vous l’avouer je ne connais que Lex dans votre liste, les comic americain ne sont pas très populaire en France =/ Nos héros à nous sont Obélix et Asterix!!!..Tiens en parlant d’eux le film n°4 se tourne en ce moment, je suis vraiment impatiente de le voir!

    Bonne semaine!
    Gros bisous!!!

  23. I think for me,super hero/villain, would ever so much be a combo of attributes, invisible, strong, rehealing,able to fly(always wanted to do that) and a sexy costume…

  24. Joe,

    Akemi is right. You are geek!

    Hilarious observations, as usual. What about Lord Ba’al? I though his character was modeled after you.

    I think Anubis is an awesome supervillain – half Goa’uld/half ascended Ancient. That’s pretty neat.


  25. Fartman! Or is he just an anti-hero?

    I would pick Venom. Why? Cuz he’s a symbiote. 🙂

  26. I always wanted to be the Bionic Woman (which gives away my age a bit). How terribly I wanted to run and jump the way she did! And she had a great dog. She was not, however, capable of invisibility, which would be a must in today’s world.

    If I had to choose a villain, I suppose I would choose someone who did not wish to be bad. I can’t think of any female examples. A male example would be David Banner/The Hulk.

  27. You’ve gotten some good comments today! I especially liked Lou Zucaro’s well thought out plan for his vocation as a Karl Stromberg and Das’s “I would just plant a tree”.

    My hubby says he would like to be “Syndrone” from The Incredibles”. Mainly, because Syndrone has his own island with cool toys. He also would enjoy the freeze ray gun. I sorry, he says it’s the “zero point energy weapon”! There are lots of people he would like to “control”. Hmmm, I wonder if I would be one of those?

    As for me, Deathstroke would be cool. I could walk in Downtown Memphis anytime, day or night! 😉

  28. Oh, that’s easy! Baron Destructo! Foiling spammers across the universe! Wait, maybe that makes him a superhero?!

  29. Did anyone else see Amazing Race yesterday? Zev and Justin were funny screaming the whole time when they were being waxed, serves them right for having a hairy chest, I guess people will take note of this when applying for the race lol

    Kisha and Jen beating Flight Time and Big Easy(Harlem Globetrotters) was kinda cool, which proves an Alpha male team cant stand up to 2 strong female competitors.


    Speaking about best super villians, I would say *Anti Spirals* from the Gurren Lagann anime series.


    – They control the universe
    – They wipe out Spiral lifeforms without any remorse
    – They single handedly fought a war against the entire universe and won
    – They force other planets populations to stay under a million or face extinction
    – They live between the 10th/11th special dimensions essentially isolating themselves from the rest of the universe meaning unless you’re technoligically advanced you won’t be able to find their homeworld.

    Simple facts

    – They were once a Spiral race themselves but took it upon themselves to become *Self protectors* of the universe, and essentially are a group collective.

    Meaning when Anti Spiral speaks to the main cast he doesnt refer to himself as *I* always *We*.

  30. Anyway I dont think ild want to be a Super Villian, just gave an example of the ultimate one lol

    By the way, final SGU episode today. Hope it ends on a high note ratings wise, as farcial as the Nielson system is, it deserves a good end.

  31. Must they be from comic books? I’m not big on comic books…if not, I’d love to be Ba’al, Sylar (Heroes), Crowley (Supernatural) or Crowley (Good Omens). Although Good Omens!Crowley isn’t much of a super villain (he merely sauntered vaguely downwards).

    Comic book/graphic novel-wise, I’d have to say:
    3. Lex Luthor – super genius, God complex
    2. Adrian Veidt (Watchmen) – super genius, super speed, God complex AND he wins in the end!
    1. John Constantine (Hellblazer) – smart, crafty, bane of Heaven and Hell

    Wait, you say. Constantine isn’t a villain! Eh, he’s an anti-hero and Hell wants him bad. I prefer the morally grey to the blackly bad. (Also, I’d love to be Gabriel in Hellblazer.)

  32. I always thought Dr. Doom was hot. Wouldn’t want to be him though.

    There aren’t that many good female supervillians to choose from. Catwoman was terrific, but she had too many issues. Same with most of the Bat-related ladies and the few others I can come up with.
    I’ve not read enough comics lately to come up with a truly evil female of current vintage.
    Off the wall … The Leather Nun? Too religious. Disney has the best wicked women, unsettling when you think about family friendly fantasy. I could see being Ursula.

    Maybe I’ll just choose to be Cherry Pop-tart and enjoy life.

  33. Joe here is my top 5 villians I would want to be;
    5) Mysterio – as with you he was my alltime favorite villian as a kid, also i loved magic and he was the ultimate magician.
    4) Hulk – I preferred him more when he played the villian role destroying entire cities than the ever loveable(?) Dr. Banner.
    3) Lex Luthor – He is a super-playboy super-rich super-evil super-genius super-villian.
    2) Joker – If there was one thing i liked more as a kid than magic, it was comedy. Although a little bit creepy when i was younger i came to appreciate his wacky ways as i grew older, my only struggle would be choosing to be Mark Hamill’s Joker or Heath Ledger’s iteration.
    1) Thanos – I mean come on, if you are going to be a super villian you have to go BIG!

    I saw Thor last night and it was awesome, as a kid my superhero list went Thor, Iron Man as 1-2 respectively. And as good as the Iron Man films were, i enjoyed Thor even more, and natalie portman, hell yes! I know you dont go to many movies but i strongly suggest seeing this one, i guarantee you will like it or V1 Jets will give you your money back.

  34. I’d make a lousy supervillain. Heck, it’s difficult for me to play renegade on Mass Effect.

    But I like Rush as a supervillain, or Sylar on Heroes, although Peter on Heroes did turn from good to slightly evil for a time being and probably prefer him since he didn’t murder people. Not murdering people is always good. LOL.

    As far as superhero, again I would chose Peter from Heroes because he absorbed everyone else’s powers. I want them all — ability to cure, telekinesis, able to read people’s minds, invisibility, fly, to name just a few.

  35. As a kid the supervillian who I perceived as having the most money was Lex Luthor and you can thank the 1979 movie for that. I WANTED Lex’s NYC lair more than anything!!

    Otherwise, the Riddler was always my fave, maybe it was the sense of humour.

    I wouldn’t be any of the existing bunch. If I was a supervillain, you’d know my name.

    PS Thor: best screen portrayal is still the bit in the movie Adventures in Babysitting. As we know, that actor went on to be pretty good.

  36. Which super villain would I like to be?

    Why Cat Woman of course! She was smart, sexy and had all the men under her thumb…even Batman!

  37. This is one of the best questions ever?
    But I have a really strong good karma but also enjoy playing the bad guy, as long as i don’t get caught. See, with a superhero, you get a pat on the back and that’s it, but with a villain, you can be sent to jail for life. But if you had the right type of powers, you could plan an interesting way out.

    If I were a supervillain, i would choose the odd ones.
    I would chose either the Joker, Electro or the Riddler

  38. If i could be any villain it would be Alex Mercer with the viruis he was an anti villain in the first game.7 reasons
    2.Superhuman abilitys
    4.Form weapons
    5.Can infect other and most blindly worship him unless very strong will
    6.Abosrb people and get their powers
    7.Dosnt seem to mind pain much
    I mean imagin if you went against allmost anyone and they hade a power you wanted like someone from krypton fought you.You could absord their power and then become invincible.If my foe pulled something out i could kill them with out hardly doing anything.I could make everyone i love immortal and not worry on them trying to betray me.I wouldnt have to worry about someone being able to kill me.Alex Mercer survived a damn nuke.

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