I prepared for Halloween night by swinging by my local eclectic sweet shop and picking up a bunch of candy I’d personally enjoy eating in the very likely event a grand total of four kids end up visiting the house like last year. Among the highlights of the selection –
Fun Dip: What kind of a mad genius came up with this? Edible dipping sticks and multi-flavored powder in individual pockets. It just seemed like too much trouble when I was young – which is exactly why I picked them up. What better way to instill children with a work ethic? Either that or really annoy them. Win win.
Cigarette candy: I thought this stuff was outlawed! How politically incorrect. I mean, how could I NOT hand this out to those impressionable little tykes. They’ll be the coolest looking kids in the schoolyard.
Blood Suckers: No idea, but vampires are hot. Surprisingly, no tie-in treats for similarly hot commodities like zombies and Chilean miners.
Sweet Tarts: I only picked these up because the guys at work like them. Don’t repeat that.
Bottlecaps: I loved these as a kid! Root beer, please. I always kind of wished they’d make Fresca as well.
Pop Rocks: I’ll dispense along with some sound advice – well, actually, more a completely baseless urban legend of the kid who ate them while drinking cola and blew his head off. Awesome.
Nerds and Razzles: No idea. They just sound Halloweeen appropriate. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were the same thing.
Variations of the sour theme: This stuff is truly horrid. So I figure the kids’ll love it. Needless to say, these’ll be the first to go.