When Paul and I joined the writing staff of Stargate: SG-1 back at the beginning of its fourth season, it was with the understanding that the show would run for two more years after which we would all go our separate ways and I could go back to spending my afternoons watching The Price Is Right. As we all know, that didn’t exactly work out as planned and, given SG-1’s ten seasons, Atlantis’s five, and Universe’s soon to be two year run (and counting), I’ve had to put my afternoon t.v.-viewing plans on indefinite hold. Still, nothing lasts forever – with the exception of Law and Order – and there will come a time when I’ll have to look beyond my present gig to Life After my Stargate Years, or L.A.S.Y. as I like to call it. Now on the one hand, I look forward to the challenges of striking out in a bold new creative direction but, on the other hand, my enthusiasm for change is somewhat hampered by the fact that I possess no discernible skills outside of dressing myself and eating macaroons really really fast. This, of course, could prove problematic in the long run, but only insofar as it may prevent me from making a living. To that end, I’ve started preparing for the inevitable L.A.S.Y. days ahead by developing alternate talents like being able to offer up the numerical equivalent of every letter in the alphabet with blazing speed and incredible accuracy (ie. “useless” = “21-19-5-12-5-19-19”! It may not translate that well over this blog but, trust me when I say that was pretty damn fast.), entertaining house guests, and cooking. Today for instance, with the assistance of the good people at Cook’s Illustrated and America’s Test Kitchen, I made a truly magnificent pan-fried kurobuta pork chop and some heavenly stir-fried broccoli with oyster sauce.
I’ve also decided to move that novel I’ve been sketching out in my head for the past two years from the back-burner to the front-burner. I’ve got a story and a host of colorful characters, and have started outlining. Given the timeline of my first soon-to-be-published short story (http://www.amazon.com/Great-Power/dp/1439168822/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1267248888&sr=8-1), I should have the novel done sometime in the spring of 2022.
What’s in the news?
Yeah, next to being heckled by a sea lion or sprayed by a tiger, having a chimp try to bum a cigarette off you would probably rank as the worst zoo experience imaginable: http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/100226/odds/odd_us_russia_monkey_odd
A movie so horrifying that its maker will pay you $10 000 if you dare watch it alone in a movie theater. Or, a ridiculous publicity stunt: http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/100223/odds/odd_us_india_movie_odd
The gang at cracked.com offer up a list of the 12 Most Insane Things You Can Buy on the Internet: http://www.cracked.com/article_18410_the-12-most-insane-things-you-can-buy-internet.html. I want me one of them levitating hover scooters. That or for Tara Reid to do jello shooters at my ten year old nephew’s birthday party.
Waitress, there’s a throwing star in my soup: http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE61I4AA20100219?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews&rpc=22&sp=true
Australia sunk by giant iceberg! http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/australia/6768364/Giant-iceberg-heading-for-Australia.html Or maybe I’m getting a little ahead of myself.
Mailbag:
Annie from Freemantle writes: “Perth eh? Tell Akemi she’s lucky she isn’t here now.. it’s bloody HOT! 42 C yesterday…”
Answer: Yeah. I told her to pack her bathing suit.
Major D. Davis writes: “When do you start shooting pathogen?”
Answer: A week from Wednesday.
Pastrygirl writes: “Joe, how do you like your Cuisinart ice cream maker? Is it easy to clean? I’m not sure I want to store something that big, though.”
Answer: Love it. The bucket and arm disassemble for easy cleaning. The only drawback is that I’d prefer something that produced larger batches, something like the Gelato 3000 I swore I’d get if Atlantis got picked up for a fifth season. If I hadn’t eaten those thirteen different flavors I’d made for a dinner party way back when – and made myself physically ill in the process – I probably would have.
Nadine writes: “And glad to see that the pups are all doing well!
Are the fireworks bugging them?”
Answer: Jelly is almost deaf so she isn’t bothered, while Maximus and Lulu are clearly annoyed when they go off. Bubba, on the other hand, goes absolutely nuts.
Shiningwit writes: “Oh bugger, after all that I forgot to wave bye to Akemi. *waves* When is she coming back?”
Answer: I received an email from her today saying she wants to come back after her trip to Perth. But, who knows? Maybe she’ll love Perth and end up settling down there.
Joan001 writes: “I haven’t had any luck in getting a taste of gooey duck yet due to unforeseen circumstances… Does it go by any other name?”
Answer: You can get geoduck at most Chinese restaurants in town. I prefer it sliced and steamed with a little dipping sauce, and the head chopped and deep-fried with jalapenos and garlic.
K-man writes: “How is it getting around town during the Olympics?”
Answer: Not too bad, so long as you don’t mind paying $12 for afternoon parking.
Luis writes: “What’s Matcha?? I see it’s green is it spicy??”
Answer: It’s green tea powder.
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