When Paul and I joined the writing staff of Stargate: SG-1 back at the beginning of its fourth season, it was with the understanding that the show would run for two more years after which we would all go our separate ways and I could go back to spending my afternoons watching The Price Is Right.  As we all know, that didn’t exactly work out as planned and, given SG-1’s ten seasons, Atlantis’s five, and Universe’s soon to be two year run (and counting), I’ve had to put my afternoon t.v.-viewing plans on indefinite hold.  Still, nothing lasts forever – with the exception of Law and Order – and there will come a time when I’ll have to look beyond my present gig to Life After my Stargate Years, or L.A.S.Y. as I like to call it.  Now on the one hand, I look forward to the challenges of striking out in a bold new creative direction but, on the other hand, my enthusiasm for change is somewhat hampered by the fact that I possess no discernible skills outside of dressing myself and eating macaroons really really fast.  This, of course, could prove problematic in the long run, but only insofar as it may prevent me from making a living.  To that end, I’ve started preparing for the inevitable L.A.S.Y. days ahead by developing alternate talents like being able to offer up the numerical equivalent of every letter in the alphabet with blazing speed and incredible accuracy (ie. “useless” = “21-19-5-12-5-19-19”!  It may not translate that well over this blog but, trust me when I say that was pretty damn fast.), entertaining house guests, and cooking.  Today for instance, with the assistance of the good people at Cook’s Illustrated and America’s Test Kitchen, I made a truly magnificent pan-fried kurobuta pork chop and some heavenly stir-fried broccoli with oyster sauce.

Didn't believe me, did you?

I’ve also decided to move that novel I’ve been sketching out in my head for the past two years from the back-burner to the front-burner.  I’ve got a story and a host of colorful characters, and have started outlining.  Given the timeline of my first soon-to-be-published short story (http://www.amazon.com/Great-Power/dp/1439168822/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1267248888&sr=8-1), I should have the novel done sometime in the spring of 2022.

What’s in the news?

Yeah, next to being heckled by a sea lion or sprayed by a tiger, having a chimp try to bum a cigarette off you would probably rank as the worst zoo experience imaginable: http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/100226/odds/odd_us_russia_monkey_odd

A movie so horrifying that its maker will pay you $10 000 if you dare watch it alone in a movie theater.  Or, a ridiculous publicity stunt: http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/100223/odds/odd_us_india_movie_odd

The gang at cracked.com offer up a list of the 12 Most Insane Things You Can Buy on the Internet: http://www.cracked.com/article_18410_the-12-most-insane-things-you-can-buy-internet.html.  I want me one of them levitating hover scooters.  That or for Tara Reid to do jello shooters at my ten year old nephew’s birthday party.

Waitress, there’s a throwing star in my soup: http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE61I4AA20100219?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews&rpc=22&sp=true

Australia sunk by giant iceberg!  http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/australia/6768364/Giant-iceberg-heading-for-Australia.html Or maybe I’m getting a little ahead of myself.


Annie from Freemantle writes: “Perth eh? Tell Akemi she’s lucky she isn’t here now.. it’s bloody HOT! 42 C yesterday…”

Answer: Yeah.  I told her to pack her bathing suit.

Major D. Davis writes: “When do you start shooting pathogen?”

Answer: A week from Wednesday.

Pastrygirl writes: “Joe, how do you like your Cuisinart ice cream maker? Is it easy to clean? I’m not sure I want to store something that big, though.”

Answer: Love it.  The bucket and arm disassemble for easy cleaning.  The only drawback is that I’d prefer something that produced larger batches, something like the Gelato 3000 I swore I’d get if Atlantis got picked up for a fifth season.  If I hadn’t eaten those thirteen different flavors I’d made for a dinner party way back when – and made myself physically ill in the process – I probably would have.

Nadine writes: “And glad to see that the pups are all doing well!

Are the fireworks bugging them?”

Answer: Jelly is almost deaf so she isn’t bothered, while Maximus and Lulu are clearly annoyed when they go off.  Bubba, on the other hand, goes absolutely nuts.

Shiningwit writes: “Oh bugger, after all that I forgot to wave bye to Akemi. *waves* When is she coming back?”

Answer: I received an email from her today saying she wants to come back after her trip to Perth.  But, who knows?  Maybe she’ll love Perth and end up settling down there.

Joan001 writes: “I haven’t had any luck in getting a taste of gooey duck yet due to unforeseen circumstances… Does it go by any other name?”

Answer: You can get geoduck at most Chinese restaurants in town.  I prefer it sliced and steamed with a little dipping sauce, and the head chopped and deep-fried with jalapenos and garlic.

K-man writes: “How is it getting around town during the Olympics?”

Answer: Not too bad, so long as you don’t mind paying $12 for afternoon parking.

Luis writes: “What’s Matcha?? I see it’s green is it spicy??”

Answer: It’s green tea powder.

33 thoughts on “February 26, 2010: News of note! And the return of the mailbag!

  1. Hi Joe,
    I think that either you’re trying out a time machine you haven’t told us about yet, or you wrote the wrong date!

    Haven’t commented for a while – it’s good to have read that you’re mom’s out and doing well.

    And that porkchop and broccoli looks good…

  2. Will you be recording commentary for the second Season One set of SGU or those short interview clips on the official SGU MGM website?

    Do you know who, if any, of the staff will be going to Comic Con in the summer or will the bosses keep you guys locked up in the office?

  3. Hi there Joe!

    I have a couple of questions. 🙂

    1. I’ve seen all Stargate episodes so far except for the animated series, and I’ve been wondering about something. When you dial from a planet, how does the gate ‘know’ when to close the connection? Often we have seen 3 out of 4 SG-1 members come through the gate while the last one is a little bit late (under fire and such), but the gate doesn’t shut down until the last one is through. And often it shuts down the very second that the last one steps through. It can’t be a coinsidence every time, can it?

    2. In most of ‘Justice’ I expected the framer to be Telford, using the stones switching bodies with Young while Young was sleeping and therefore doing his thing unnotised. (To get revenge over the assault in ‘Life’). I later realised that of course the stones had to be activated in both ends, and he would have to have an ally onboard the ship to tell him when it was a good time to strike. Did you ever consider him arranging his revenge like that or do I make him too evil now?

    3. Stargate: Extinction. I understand it’s a money-problem? Can’t you put out a call for donation? I’m sure a lot of fans would be happy to help out paying the producion costs. Many small streams make a big river, you know.

    4. When a wormhole connects to another planet, air passes through also, right? Havn’t any teams had any problems with high and low air pressure and wind?

    5. If you dial a Stargate and then drop the active gate in the ocean, how much water could pass through? 38 minutes is a long time. They could maybe use that trick to get water on the ship or to a desert planet later.

    Keep up the very great work! I’m looking forward to whatever you bring up!


  4. Wait.

    You started prep on pathogen like 2 weeks ago! Why so soon?

    Thanks so much,
    Major D. Davis

  5. @Joan001

    Your gooey duck sounds so much better than Joe’s geoduck 😀

    The ‘original’ (and best!) Perth is a tad on the cold and miserable this morning (it’s 8 am). I am not yet fully awake.


  6. Oh please. You have plenty of other talents. Like running over obese fans and surviving raw egg attacks — wait, that’s Moe Jacuzzi.

    Anyway, don’t let your career turn into this: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35602234/ns/technology_and_science-science/?GT1=43001

    A novel in 2022? I’m coming over with a cattle prod.

    Glad to hear the wonderful news about your mother healing and going home. I know from experience that those elderly rehab places (at least in the states) can be shameful in their lack of care.

  7. I haven’t had any trouble getting around during olympics… but then again I have one of those funny “bus pass” things. $12 more to spend on beer! 😀

  8. Hey Joe,

    Well I am for one, enjoying your current life’s work. Doesn’t it make you happy just knowing you make others happy. I have longed loved the Stargate franchise. The movie caught my fancie and I was hooked from there on. The transition of movie actors to TV didn’t cause a skip in the beat of sci-fi for me.

    Honestly it did take me over a year to warm up to SGA, but now I love it more that SG-1. SGU came to me on Twitter first. I learned of the cast and crew…along with you. Who reads credits…not me. Sorry…I really don’t. I worked in the entertainment business for too long. TV made it almost impossible to know anyone beyond those in the opening credits before the title.

    I now have many more reasons to love Stargate..so when I say “I love all things Stargate” I truly mean that. I love the behind the scenes that make the magic, those that write the scripts, those that build the sets, of course BamBam., Mark Savela..and on and on. I have learned the pieces that when put together create the magic of Stargate.

    Thank you for participating in something that my grandchildren will enjoy for years to come. I love my action figures and my gate. I put on a SGA DVD and thrill all young children that come to visit.

    You are the best of the best….

    Best to you Joe,
    Cheryl 🙂

  9. Salut Joseph,

    ça va bien? moi ça peu aller, je vais profiter de ma dernière semaine de vacance.

    Merci pour ces Q/A, je voudrai bien vous en posé mais aujourd’hui je n’ai pas trop d’inspiration.


  10. Hi, Joe!

    Good news about your Mom being able to go home. I hope the rest of your mother’s recovery is swift and very healthy.

    Congratulations to Robert C. Cooper for his nomination from the Writer’s Guild of Canada for SGU’s ‘Time’ episode!


    Best wishes.

    Golly – only FIVE more Syfy Fridays until the return of NEW SGU episodes on Syfy (April 2, 2010). Yippee!


  11. Hi Joe,

    I hear you about the slow novel writing.

    I started to write a serious outline of my novel a few months ago. I realized that with the distraction of internet pornography I wasn’t getting anywhere. Perhaps working on my computer isn’t the best idea.

    I have since come up with a new novel idea that I feel must be written first. To get around the problem that porn poses, I have purchased a moleskine journal. The cashier at Barnes & Noble assured me that if I purchased it my book would become a NY Times Best Seller. One day the Smithsonian will purchase the journal for a hefty sum and put it on prominent display, overshadowing all lesser works.

    That was three weeks ago. So far I’ve been too distracted by pornography to start writing in it, but I have my intentions. Any day now. Any day….

    I’m still reading The Stand Unabridged. I believe I am 65% done, hopefully I can wrap it up by next weekend. What a long book…

    Your Future Reincarnated French Bulldog,

  12. Hey Joe!

    I was just wondering if you guys were keeping touch with Atlantis cast?I know the movie is dead for now but the script is ready right?Is there any chance you can give us some information about it cause all the wait is killing us:(

    And also can we expect some visits from Atlantis crew in SGU?Even a line about them would be nice.I like seeing O’neill at SGU and cant wait to see Daniel’s episode.Not only I love the character but also because it makes SGU more real.I always enjoyed the close relationship between Atlantis and Stargate SG-1.

    Oh,last question:I like stones but I think it’s being overused.Did you guys think another way for Telford to be in destiny?

  13. @Jon, regarding 4 and 5.
    4. No, air doesn’t pass through the event horizon, as, for example, dialing a Spacegate would suck all the air from Atlantis, or when SGC dialed the planet with the Nano Thingy Bugs that “took over” SGC and O’Neill, and were later sent to an empty planet, the air would have been sucked out from SGC

    5. No, water doesn’t pass through the event horizon either, as it would have come through from the Alpha gate as they came through from the Water planet in SG1 when the Russians managed to get the Gate stuck 😛

    At least, those are my opinions/fantasies/ideals/hopes/dreams

    Sorry if I was right and took the chance from you answering them, Joseph 😉

    I have a question myself though
    How large are the Ori Mothership and the Supergate? The DVD Collections say that the Supergate is 400m width and height, while the Ori Mothership, err sorry, Warship, as they are called in the DVD Collections, is 1,100 meters in length and 850 meters in width 😐

    Can you answer that/those questions? If not, can you ask from the person/ who wrote them what he/they/she was/were drinking/smoking while writing them?

  14. 21-19-5-12-5-19-19 16-5-15-16-12-5 4-15-14′-20 23-18-9-20-5 9-14-20-5-18-9-19-20-9-14-7 2-12-15-7-19

    Bows deeply and sticks her tongue out.
    Hey, you started it!

    20-8-9-14-11-9-14-7 15-6 3-8-9-12-5 🙁

  15. Is it too late for making another reading selection? A friend recommended I read “Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand”, by Helen Simonson. I haven’t picked it up yet, but would be willing to read along with you and your regular readers.

  16. You could spend a year traveling to each of your faithful readers’ homes and cook us a meal. I’m hungry for breakfast just now, what’s on the menu?

  17. The gang at cracked.com offer up a list of the 12 Most Insane Things You Can Buy on the Internet:

    I especially liked #2 “Buy your own Tank”.

    Although, to be practical, I’d probably go for an Armored Car 🙂 :

    7 Tons of Vehicle would leave dents my driveway though 😉

    As for the number-letter thing…I could probably write a Java-script for that…you could paste it into a form on your website!

  18. About that numerical trick of yours, I’ve done that as a Tourette’s-associated mental tic since the 5th grade. There’s no way you can compete with my speed. I add the step of finding the numerical center of the words (sometimes phrases) as well.

    BTW, it really, really slows down your reading speed. The upside is, once you do get something read, it’s memorized and you get fast enough at it after, oh, say 20 years of CONSTANT practice, that your reading speed picks up a little.

  19. As I write this the tsunami is due to hit Hawaii in one hour. Interesting times we live in. And while the death count goes up in Chile, at least it’s going up fairly slowly.
    As far as your future, I’m somewhat suprised you’ve not looked to a job as a food critic. Combining your love of food with your talents at writing seem to be a no brainer. Perhaps some Vancouverite fans should write to the local newspapers, tv shows, or other media that put out such ratings. And of course we still need to get you onto Iron Chef America as a judge. I cannot believe they’ve overlooked you for so long. Perhaps we can have more luck influencing TPTB over there than we have with the movies or cancellation.
    Anyways, thanks as always, and loved the links.

  20. Hi Joe,

    Glad to see your mom doing well.

    I’ll bet you’ll be glad to see Vancouver get back to normal starting Monday. When does shooting commence for season 2? Hope you can post some cool behind the scene shots.

    In my daily poking around the net, I came across a truly remarkable creation from a 15 year old. Obviously a STARGATE fan. Chek it out at:


    Pretty amazing…. wonder if the kid could make a lego Lulu or perhaps Maximus?


  21. Joe, Joe, Joe. You told her to pack her togs.
    Sometimes I don’t know why I bother.

  22. susan the tartan turtle said,

    @Joan001 – Your gooey duck sounds so much better than Joe’s geoduck 😀
    – – – – – – – – –

    You know, it’s funny – I know how to spell geoduck, but I was think gooey, and that’s what I wrote. Whenever I see geoduck, what first comes to mind is an astrolab… not on the subject of food and certainly, not very appetizing. What a funny name for a giant clam – I wonder how it came to be called that…

  23. @Narelle

    Funny , we call togs ‘bathers’ here in Perth.

    Akemi’s gonna love the white ground……..of the beaches!!!! It isn’t snow – we just don’t have snow here… (sadly enough, I’d love to see it).

    Just in case she needs to know

    ‘Macca’s” is Macdonald’s
    ‘Hungry Jack’s’ is your ‘Burger King’ but we in Perth tend to all it ‘aitch Jay’s’

  24. annie from Fremantle – I just use ‘kinis’. Bikinis is too many syllables. Dad is a togs person. Mum is bathers. Brother doesn’t wear any swimwear unless it’s under his ‘wetty’. Husband has his shorts multi task as outer wear and swim wear. What chance do any of us really have of speaking English properly?
    Did you steal our heat? Freezing here today! Not literally, but I’m wearing a wool!

  25. @maggiemayday I have a friend who did just that. For a couple years, he traveled around the country, staying anywhere from a few days to a few months in various people’s homes. The deal was, if you provided him with a roof over his head and other basic necessities, he would cook for you as well as clean house. I can’t speak to his housecleaning abilities, but I can say that he is an excellent cook. Whoever he stayed with undoubtedly ate well.

    He actually offered to come live here for a while. Something came up that prevented us from accepting the offer, but I always felt a little badly after, like we’d missed out on an interesting opportunity.

  26. I have been faithfully watching the Olympic games daily. They have shown quite a mix of events and some sites around Vancouver. I have really enjoyed watching curling, skiing and snowboarding events. The broadcasters constantly report on the weather: not enough snow, too much snow, fresh snow that ruined the tracks, too warm, too cold, too wet, snowing too hard for visiblility. Geez.

    What about the various uniforms/costumes these athletes are wearing? Wow, really interesting. Love those pants of the curlers from Czek. Love the unitards of those male speedskaters…athletic fit men in tight clothes moving all around the ice. Wonderful.

    I know that you will be so sad to see all the broadcasters, sports people and tourists leave town. but it will be ok. You’ll be fine when your friends come to town to play at the Bridge.

  27. Hey Joe!

    Just out of curiousity, is it a coincidence that L.A.S.Y. looks a lot like “lazy”? 😉

    I meant to mention that I just rewatched the first half of season 1 in blu ray last weekend – I spent the entirety of Saturday holed up with my little sister. It was her first time watching the episodes (even though she’s a Stargate fan herself) and she really enjoyed them.
    Also, they look absolutely *amazing* in high definition (I’m still a little sore over the fact that SPACE doesn’t broadcast in HD)…

    Speaking of the episodes looking amazing, I’m rooting for Mark Savela and his team to win at tomorrow night’s VES Awards… Very much deserved, I think!

    Sorry to hear poor Bubba doesn’t like the fireworks.. Probably doesn’t help that they go off Every. Single. Night. Bella doesn’t always notice them, but when she does she is *not* a happy camper.

    Hope you’re having a good weekend – beyond planning for your L.A.S.Y!

    Nadine Ramsden

  28. Ah yes, the heady days of season 4 – when you could still be bullied into singing on the DVD commentaries *g*

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