My favorite?  The guy with the tightest white shirt, natch.
My favorite? The guy with the tightest white shirt, natch.
"You!  Ask me a question!"
“You! Ask me a question!”
Foie gras (foreground) foie gras enabler (background)
Foie gras (foreground) foie gras enabler (background)

As a result of losing a bet to my co-worker Kerry, I’ll be accompanying her to a local musical production of her choice. Her choice? Altar Boyz, the hit off-Broadway musical that has been described as “DIVINE!” (Michael Sommers, STAR-LEDGER), “AN ENERGETIC CROWD-PLEASER!” (David Rooney, VARIETY), and “HITS ONE FALSE NOTE AFTER ANOTHER!” (Larro, BroadwayBox.com). Today, I found a gift from Kerry sitting in my office mailbox – the Altar Boyz CD. In addition to some truly memorable lyrics (“Now we don’t believe in hurtin’ or in hatin’/’Cause that’s the kind of stuff that leads to Satan” and “God put the rhythm in me so I could bust a move.”) the inside liner features shout-outs from the various performers including, my favorite, Luke:

“Yo. This is Luke, in full effect, bustin’ the appreciation all up in your grill, cold-phreakin’.” Damn, this guy is hardcore. No, no, I realize it’s a satire and I probably would enjoy it if, say, it was three minute SNL sketch or maybe a quickie youtube video. But a 90 minute production?!

All kidding aside, I really, really, really don’t look forward to this show.

Hey, guess who I’ve convinced to do a Q&A on this blog? None other than my arch- nemesis, the marquise of mischief, the duchess of deviousness, the countess of calamity, the viscountess of vegetarianism – Ashleigh. She was reluctant at first, insisting she isn’t that interesting. But I beg to differ. I have a feeling this will be THE GREATEST GUEST Q&A EVER! Ashleigh wants your questions! Make ’em good and post ’em here. I’ll be collecting them over the next few days, then sending them her way on Monday.

Speaking of questions – you have one more day to get your questions in for author Jonathan Carroll. I’ll be sending the questions his way on Friday.

And speaking of answers – tune in tomorrow for a very special Q&A appearance by astronomers Dave Tholen and Roy Tucker, co-discoverers of 99942 Apophis, the asteroid once feared to be on a potential collision course with Earth – until, of course, being eventually talked out of it.

Lots to watch at work these past few days: The Time dailies, Carl’s cut of Life, and Brad’s cuts of Darkness and Light. Rob Cooper has been doing a terrific job directing. Time looks fantastic. Quite the trip, this one. Speaking of terrific – I should make special mention of both David Blue and Brian J. Smith who deliver outstanding performances in this episode. Heartbreaking stuff. Meanwhile, Robert Carlyle tears it up big time in the Darkness and Light two-parter. Love his “for a fact” scene. Truth be told, there are incredible performances throughout these two episodes: Minga Na and Justin in the red room scene, Peter Kelamis and Patrick Gilmore in their kino scenes, Jamil’s stoic warrior acceptance, Elyse in Chloe’s farewell, and Alaina Huffman’s turn as T.J., a character whose cool professional exterior belies genuine charm and a wicked little sense of humor.

Do you know what the saddest thing about 2008 was? No, no, not that kid running around the world for charity who was eaten by crocodiles in Egypt. And no, no, not that grandmother who adopted all those children whose last wish was to see them all before she succumbed to a rare blood disorder only to be done in by a bowl of tainted clams the night before the big family reunion. No, I’m referring to the closing of The Budapest, one of my favorite restaurants in Vancouver, home of the Transylvania Platter with its schnitzels, sausages, cabbage rolls, and spaetzle! Well, today, we took out from Danube – owned and operated by the former chef at Budapest and located only minutes from work. We ordered up a couple of those familiar Transylvania Platters while Ashleigh opted for the vegetarian option – the perogies that were, interestingly enough, served with fried onions and bacon. “Of course you have to add bacon to the vegetarian dishes,”I told her. “That’s what gives them their taste.” Surprisingly, she opted to go bacon-less. Carl, Paul, Lawren and I, on the other hand, had no problem going full meat, then topping off the meal with some out of this world cherry-poppy seed strudel. Once done, Carl declared it “The best lunch we’ve ever had” at the office. Guess we’re putting Danube on the lunch rotation.

Oh, and speaking of vegetarian crackpotism, I was checking out the Vancouver foodie forums last night when I came across a thread describing the latest antics of the local food Nazi’s in their quest to dictate you can or cannot eat. To no surprise, they go after foie gras because the average folk rarely eat it, know little about it, and thus aren’t all that bothered by anti-foie demonstrations since they don’t inconvenience them. To which I say – if you’re anti-foie yet don’t think twice about purchasing meat at a supermarket, please do me the kindness of shutting the F up until you’ve educated yourself on the process by which said meat reaches your plate. You may not like what you learn – which is why many people turn a convenient blind I to their own menu while decrying the eating habits of others. Of course, don’t delude yourselves. First, it’ll be foie gras. Then, it’ll be veal and lamb. Then meat. Then fish. Then eggs. Then fruit and vegetables that haven’t (to quote Carl) “died of natural causes”. But, I digress.

One of the restaurants being picketed was none other than Fuel. It was a little after 7:00 p.m. and I phoned them up. Owner Tom answered the phone. “Yep,”he informed me. “They’re right outside.” “Save me a seat,”I told him. “I’m on my way.”

I arrived fifteen minutes later to find a group of placard-wielding demonstrators standing outside the place. Their numbers were made up of some masked young pseudo-anarchists (“Awwww, mom, where’d you put my bandana?! I neeeeeed it for the demonstraaaatiooon.”) and what looked to be a couple of homeless people (“Just stand around for an hour and I’ll buy you a sandwich.”) one of whom seemed to be holding his sign upside down for most of the night. I grabbed a seat at the bar, right by the window, and watched the show. They loitered about and lustily belted out some uninspired slogans until the hostess at the Thai restaurant next door stormed outside and kindly requested they shut up. About twenty minutes later, they all clambered into a waiting SUV (Apparently, the environment isn’t as important as ducks) and motored off to parts unknown (“Hey, Safeway is having a sale on quinoa!”).

I ended up enjoying an excellent pan-seared foie gras with rhubarb served atop a toasted brioche and I owe it all to the protesters. To be honest, it’s been months (and months!) since the last time I had foie gras so a huge thanks to the demonstrators (Skinny Yelling Guy, Backpack Girl, Woman In Desperate Need of a Shower #1,Woman in Desperate Need of a Shower #2, Medusa Hair, and Upside-Down Sign Holding Guy Who Was Hungrily Eyeing My Foie) for making it happen. I look forward to seeing you all again in the near future as any further demonstration will guarantee a foie gras purchase on my part.

73 thoughts on “May 27, 2009: It’s Almost Show Time! Ashleigh Wants Your Questions! SGU Update! Schnitzel-Fest 2009! I Am Stuffed Like a Goose!

  1. Hey Joe,

    I think Ashleigh staged the protestors on your behalf. You really can’t trust her. 😉

    I have no problems with foie gras. It’s the fried candy bars that have me all angry-like. I mean, to fry a live candy bar and eat it while it’s still screaming… HOW COULD YOU!!???!

    Questions for Ashleigh:

    What *exactly* do you do at the Bridge Studios? Besides add to Joe’s paranoia, that is. 😉 I want times, details, blue-prints of the offices and stages… pictures of SGU… the usual information.

    Did you ever know that you’re my hero? You’re everything I wish I could beee….

    Oh sorry! I had a flash back to that Beaches movie.

    Seriously, though, I think it’s fantastic that you can give it back to Joe like you do. Isn’t he like the older brother you never wish you had? That’s how I picture him.

    Hmmm… with that last question it appears I’m incapable of being serious. Damn! And I’m out of questions.

    Thank you for agreeing to answer our questions! 😀 Feel free to ignore mine.

    Trish

  2. I am really looking forward to hearing what you have to say about that show when you do see it.

    For Ashleigh: How do you ultimately plan to murder Joe and usurp his position without anyone being the wiser?

  3. Thanks as usual for the laughs!!! Oh man, I may need a day or two to come up with questions worthy of Ashleigh!

    Re: vegetarianism: I always wanted to be one, but then my father (a butcher) convinced me otherwise. Aside from pointing out that I would need to get my protein and iron from foods I despised–vegetables— and other factors I didn’t really want to think about, his most convincing argument was that I would be “putting a butcher out of business.” Haha mi padre has such a funny sense of humor! 😀

  4. Hey Joe

    Been quite a while but rest assured I keep up to date on all the wonderfulness that is your blog. This last entry made me wonder if you ever read The Foie Gras Wars: How a 5,000-Year-Old Delicacy Inspired the World’s Fiercest Food Fight.

    I must admit that although an old friend from Chicago wrote it, I have yet to read it. If you are at all interested in including it as one of your books of the month – I’d be happy to see if Mark would join you for a Q&A. Would give me a perfect reason to read it if anything else.

    Here’s a link to the book on Amazon…
    http://www.amazon.com/dp/1416556680/?tag=yahhyd-20&hvadid=45640787011&ref=pd_sl_68rrctsgq_b

    True to form – I honestly don’t even know what his stance is on the whole kerfuffle (I love that word) but wouldn’t it be fun to find out together?

    Regardless of your decision… it was a joy to post this. Stay well.

    Pilota

  5. Thanks. Tonight’s post was hilarious and well timed. Ashleigh is still a goddes, but you’re working your way up from sidekick’s neurtoic relative to full hero status with your dinner at Fuel. While Foie Gras is not produced by the nicest of methods, we’re still talking birds bred only for the purpose of producing enlarged fatty livers. And there are apparantly options to the traditional method(according to F Word). If someone doesn’t like it, they dont have to eat it. As for me, give me the cow and the knife. (actually, I have plenty of knives anyways). Fork is optional and a candle or a couple of matches should produce enough flame to cook to suit my tastes.
    I do sympathise with your upcoming suffering. At least you’re manning up and going through with the bet.I do not believe all those nasty rumors about you prowling around trying to find a double to take your place. But I also confess to gleeful anticipation of your recounting of your travails.
    As for questions to Ashleigh. Well, I’ll start with a few of the common ones. How did you manage to land such a cool job? What’s the best/worst part of your job? Have you managed to housetrain Carl yet? What can we, the faithful blog readers do to assist you in your next project to torture Mr. Mallozzi? I’ll think up some others before the deadline on Monday, but thank you for agreeing to participate here.

  6. I’m back! For the last 2 days I was in the Olympics (the National Park, not that other one), and had a great time there. Pictures and trip reports will be coming soon to my blog, which you can access through the link in my name.

    Now that my shameless pimpage is over with…really? Ashleigh is coming? The Dame of Devastation? The…uh…shoot, you took all the good ones; the baroness of…Badassness; the…uh…seductress of Swine Flu; the…girl of…Gazpacho?

    I could’ve said the girl of my dreams, but that would be inappropriate. Anyways, this should prove delightfully interesting and hilarious, and possibly slanderous if some misguided soul asked her about her opinions on Joe.

    So, my questions for dear Ashleigh:

    1. What do you truly, really, and truly think of Joe Mallozzi? Please, do not spare any gruesome and/or slanderous detail.

    2. What drove you to Vegetarianism?

    3. What qualifications do you need to be an Executive Producer’s Assistant?

    4. If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear it, did you plant Swine Flu in Joe Mallozzi’s office?

    5. Were you a Stargate fan before joining the “well-oiled machine” that is the Stargate Productions? If so, what was your favorite episode? If not, are you a fan now?

    That’s all for now. Thank you, Ashleigh, for facing our inquisition of you.

    Moving on. I have a big problem with your write-up about the Foie Gras thing, Joe. It both offends me and irritates me, and totally changed my view of you as a person.

    I just, I just can’t believe *sigh*, that you used “I” in place of “eye”. Paragraph 8, line 10, word 8 – “blind I”? Really? Oh yeah, I’m sure you’ll just say that it’s a typo, but I see the truth. I see it like if it were right in front of me, but not so close as to make it blurry, and not so far that my myopic eyes cannot distinguish it from the number 1. Or a line.

    Obviously, the dogs’ use of Twitter has infected you with a case of Abbrevitis. Today, it’s “I” in place of “eye”; tomorrow, it’s “u” and “y” in place of “you” and “why”, respectfully; then, we may get lewd references, like, instead of “mailbag”, we get “balls”. Think about it.

    Oh, oh, and then before we know it, multiple words will be condensed into one single abbreviation and/or shorthand. Instead of “Stargate Universe”, we get “SGU”; or, “:(” instead of “Carl Binder”. Eventually, instead of “So today I went into the office and discussed Stargate Extinction with Paul, then made a beeline to the set where David Blue was being his normal hilarious self. I got a ton of photo of his scene with Robert Carlyle, but I can’t share it because of, well, you know”, we get “Marklar”. Yeah, very informative.

    Please, Joe, don’t fall prey to this terrible, terrible illness. It has already destroyed the verbal centers of most teenagers and twitter-users (oh crap! Quick! Get your doggies off of there!!!); the only way to cure it is to read a lot of books! So please, do that as soon as you can!!

    I have a faith in you. We’re in this together. Stop the abbreviations.

    -PG15

    PS: Oh hey, since I was gone for 2 days, the following correspondences are from 2 days ago. ISN’T THAT A COINCIDENCE?!

    @ chevron7

    @pg15 – Sure you don’t want someone to create a tv show about a university student who accurately predicts the plots of all the latest tv shows? Sort of Psych meets Criminal Intent meets I can’t think of a college show at the moment but you get the idea.

    That is brilliant. Like, for serious. I should pitch this to someone; though, I’ll need a writer to help me.

    Hey! Joe’s a writer! Maybe I can hire him. Though I can only pay him in minimum wage, or less. However, I do guarantee sufficient air supply at the job site. I’ll Executive Produce, of course, and be the Lead. It’ll be glorious.

    The pilot will involve me, a humble University student with a knack for watching TV, falling into a vat of strange chemicals, thus giving me the superpower of predicting the plots of all TV shows. I will spend a majority of the episode angsting over the immense responsibility of such a superpower (as Spiderman has taught us, with great power, comes great responsibility. Also, don’t touch black masses of goo; they are nothing but trouble), and only after a heartfelt speech by a close friend do I gain the courage to embrace it. Of course, the overall plot arc of the show will involve me slowly becoming accustomed (or should I say, a-costumed! LOL) to being a superhero. Then, when said close friend is kidnapped by a down-on-his-luck TV executive, played by Joe since I won’t have enough money to hire guest stars, I use my powers to tell him all the plot twists of the upcoming season of Lost, prompting him to create a new show that copies the exact plot. When Lost premiers, the TV Executive/kidnapper/Joe is able to sue them for plagiarism, thus becoming rich and turning his luck around. He then releases my friend, and everyone is happy. Except the guys from Lost, I guess.

    In the second episode, another friend is kidnapped by a down-on-his-luck freelance writer…

    @ Trish:

    “@pg15 Are you hyped up on Wraith Enzyme? You are too funny.

    I’m hyped up on whatever it is that keeps dovil consistently hilarious and awesome. 😉

    I think it’s Pomegranate juice. No, wait.

    Grape juice. No, Grape Soda. Yep, that’s the one.

    @ EternalDensity:

    @ PG-15
    I find it so entertaining to witness the Winning of Internets, an activity which you have recently participated in

    It’s what I do. 😉

  7. Oh, and I would just like to add, that quote from “Luke” may hold the record for the highest lame street slang density in a sentence.

    Yikes. You are screwed, Joe.

  8. Joe,
    Great post today. I’m constantly amazed at the length that some wackos go through to get their misguided message across. That said I am personally anti fois gras, not because of the method of fattening the birds, I just think liver is gross.
    Speaking of food, in Mark Dacascos’ Q & A there was talk about you getting to be a guest judge on Iron Chef. Has anything happened with that?

  9. If I could, I’d give you a medal for fighting in the name of Foie Gras. And if I had three thumbs, I’d give you three thumbs up.

  10. As a vegetarian, I have to roll my eyes sometimes at the granola stereotype that seemingly follows me because of the random whacko protesters that show up. By publishing their antics, you just embolden them. I’m sure even now “Skinny Yelling Guy” has searched and found your post as proof that their message has gotten out!

    Questions for Ashleigh:
    How long have you been a vegetarian and why? Are you just a regular old fashioned veggie or a vegan?

  11. Dave Tholen and Roy Tucker Q&A I am looking forward to it. Even through I cannot remember the questions I ask.

    If it was anyone else being force to go and see and most of all hear the Altar boyz I would feel sorry for them, but it you and so I cannot feel sorry for you, nor an ounce sympathy for you, and I hope they are even more out of tune than they normal are.

    I but I do look forward to your blog after you have seen it, it should be a entertaining read.

    Question for Ashleigh

    Have you got anything mean and life threatening plan for Joe for April fools day next year.

    What is the most boring thing about working with Joe.
    The most fun thing about working for Joe
    Do you ever read the scripts and give comments on them.
    Do you ever take a look around the sets or watch them filming scenes for episodes. What is the most impressive thing you have seen so far.
    Have you work as a PA for anyone else who is a tiny bit famous as joe is or more famous than Joe

  12. Thank you for the update. I have been staying up extra late for weeks…… waiting for your blog……. in hopes of reading some little tidbit about my son. He’s gonna kill me! But I am very proud of him, miss him a bunch, and love love love to hear any news I can. You made a mom happy. Also I would like to say screw the food picketers! They have way too much time. That’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. I live in Kentucky, we eat what we want and shoot people that don’t like it. Just kidding, sort of! Cheers to you and yours, and please take good care of my son. Thanks. Oh and my poodle (Malibu) loves to read the dog’s twitter every day. She loves Justin Timberlake too, must be something about him and dogs. OMG!
    Sherry

  13. I’ll be the first to admit I know next to nothing about how the geese (it is geese, right?) destined for foie gras are treated, but aren’t they probably treated a hell of a lot better than the livestock destined for other markets? I mean, if they’re being raised for fatty livers and a delicacy, they’re probably treated better than the cows destined for the slaughterhouse, and the chickens et alius which are brought up in cages and never see the light of day….

    I’m not criticizing or anything, I just think that a lot of the argument seems rather pointless, and like Joe said, people criticize then turn around and give no thought to where their meat oriinated. Glass houses, and all that?

  14. Questions for Ashleigh

    Did you have any idea you would be drag off to places like the Fuel restaurant and the events like the Chocolate orgy (AKA tasting) when you got hired? Speaking of the Chocolate event, how long it took you to recovered from it?

    Wonder what veggie dishes have you recommended to Mr M?

    Did the Mexican vacation (AKA inconvenient Flu Outbreak) meet your expectations? Also any amusing incidents while traveling to and back from Mexico?

    Would you be interested in a walk on role in SGU? Mr M may be you should make wager outcomes with the hired help to either do blog Q&A or be immortalized in SGU walk on roles. LOL

  15. My daughter, Leora, whom you have inspired to take photos of food :), is graduating Sat. She would be in 7th heaven if you dedicated that blog to her. Maybe she’ll forgive me for “stealing” Daniel Jackson since she “saw him first”. (Said creepy to like same guy as her mom.)

  16. Hey, I just noticed Slaughterhouse-Five over in the side. Joe, have you read “Armageddon in Retrospect”? I’ve only just started but it definitely gives another look at the aforementioned novel.

    Not that it matters, but I cut my thumb pretty bad. It’s foul.

    Questions for Ashleigh (and thanks for taking the time!):

    1. How soon after meeting Joe did you set out to destroy him?

    2. Are you now or have you ever been a sci-fi fan?

    3. What about a syfy fan?

    4. Have you had any “Assistant Exec. Producer/Assistant TO THE Exec. Producer” moments yet?

    5. Who is your second favorite Beatle?

  17. Goose Liver. Yuck. You can have mine. Give me red meat any day. And no, we don’t want to know how that meat gets to our dinner table every night.

    Kudos to Ashleigh for agreeing to a Q&A.

    My first question is “How did you get a job with a production company?” I was wondering if you’d worked for another production company or is this your first job with one.

    My second question is how do you eat the right proteins while being a vegetarian? I’ve heard that it’s difficult to make sure you eat the right kind of beans, vegies to get enough of the right vitamins and minerals.

    Oh and by the way, keep up the good work harrassing Mr. Mallozzi.

  18. Hello Joe hope all is well up there.

    @Trish- what have we warned you about your snark? 😉

    Okay questions for Ashleigh….hmmm.

    1) What is your favorite genre of book? And who would be your favorite author within that genre?

    2) Would you ever twitter? (or are you anti-twitter?)

    3) Favorite place to plot what you’ll do when you control the world? 😉

  19. …So, these Placard People, I have to wonder – if they were to do what they do in Stanley Park, which do you suppose would happen them: 1- the resident flock of giant biohazardous guano-producing Canada Geese would be eternally grateful for their Olympic [shameless plug for 2010] sign waving efforts; or 2- said previously mentioned fauna would just simply viciously attack them [like they do everyone else!], snapping their signs in half like toothpicks and then eat them [I’m referring to the People, not their Placards!]; or 3- all of the above [hey they’re “Canada” Geese, we apologize here when chewing off the hand that feeds us]?

    For the Ashleighnator:
    You *are* our Goddess! And if you had been here years ago, I would have suspected that you were who Teyla was based on! BTW, you really do *NEED* to have your own blog! Cause, seriously, you’d probably get more hits than Joe and are SO much more kickass! And, oh, the tan, looks positively bitchin’ on you Girlfriend!

    And JOE, we want to see her in the SGA movie!! Bet she could make Woolsey sweat paperclips!

  20. Hi Ashleigh, and thanks for agreeing to do a blog Q&A. Finally we get to hear your side of the story. My job (psych nursing) has taught me a lot about finding reliable sources of information in cases like — well, just when certain people seem to be having problems with paranoia, shoe fetishes, and delusions of being an Egyptian god (or goddess, as the case may be. I mean, he did say that his favorite Altar Boy was the one with the tightest t-shirt.)

    My question for you: Do you have any pet theories related to Stargate: Atlantis? Me, I’m suspicious of how the writers and directors always had McKay talking really fast when explaining scientific stuff, but when it came time to deliver a snarky line, he was perfectly understandable. This makes me wonder if 1) McKay got his doctorate while living in a padded cell (hmm. . .) or 2) as usual, Bridge Studios is conspiring with the FBI, CIA, NORAD, and *NSYNC to keep the population at large ignorant about what’s really going on out in the cosmos.

    Or, do you have any ideas about things getting mysteriously moved around the workplace, ultimately winding up in that one desk compartment Joe keeps secret, but for which Marty G. gave you a copied key? And if you ever use eyeliner, has it been disappearing recently? Not that cross-dressing necessarily interferes with being a good writer-producer — showbiz being what it is, maybe it even helps; I wouldn’t know — but, well, it could be important. (In other words, it’s always cool when someone on this blog scoops Gateworld.)

    Thanks a bunch for fielding all these questions because you’re a good sport, and most importantly, because Hathor wants Joe to be concerned about your true powers. 😉

  21. I became mostly vegan after being an Animal Science major for all of one semester at Cal Poly. I gave up meat for years after beef slaughtering class. Although I do eat some meat these days, I saw how animals were looked at as only a product, not a living creature. I don’t preach to people about what they should or shouldn’t eat. It’s really none of my business. But I do support any groups that try to make the living conditions of these animals better before their deaths.

    Which leads me to a question for Ashleigh:

    Once you knock off Joe, will you be looking for your own assistant? I’m available btw.

  22. Oh, Joe!! You never fail to crack me up. I can’t wait to hear more about the foie gras escapades. Also, I think Upside-Down Sign Holding Guy Who Was Hungrily Eyeing My Foie IS homeless. Fairly sure I’ve seen him on the off ramp of I94 and University.

    Please tell me you listened to the cd. Or Kerry made you. better yet! I hope Ashleigh makes you!! Then she’d be truly evil.

    Ashleigh: Joe often refer to himself–er, I mean his friend–as Baron Destructo. If you could join this illustrious gang of villains, what would your name be? And when can we buy the comic-style t-shirts?

  23. “Speaking of terrific – I should make special mention of both David Blue and Brian J. Smith who deliver outstanding performances in this episode. Heartbreaking stuff. Meanwhile, Robert Carlyle tears it up big time in the Darkness and Light two-parter. Love his “for a fact” scene. Truth be told, there are incredible performances throughout these two episodes: Minga Na and Justin in the red room scene, Peter Kelamis and Patrick Gilmore in their kino scenes, Jamil’s stoic warrior acceptance, Elyse in Chloe’s farewell, and Alaina Huffman’s turn as T.J., a character whose cool professional exterior belies genuine charm and a wicked little sense of humor.”
    Wow, so many hints! I’m really looking forward to seeing how all those turn out onscreen.

    @PG-15
    I quite like your tv show idea, but it’s missing a vital character: Ashleigh. Perhaps she can show up in episode three and be established as a recurring supervillain whose goal is to take control of television one show at a time…

  24. Ashleigh!

    1. Do you have any more dastardly plans to wind Joe up? Do not reveal them here, just a nudge and a wink would be nice ;D

    &

    2. How much Stargate have you seen? Is there any particular episode which is your favourite? And do you have a favourite character from the series?

    Thank you for taking up the role of Joe’s Arch Nemesis, your battles, and your wins, bring laughter and happiness to my day! Haha.

  25. Ashleigh: (welcome to the team)

    What’s Joe’s most ANNOYING habit and do you plan something wickedly, deliciously devious to sort him out?

    😉

  26. In my experience, I have actually been to a farm that raises geese for foie gras. The farmer couldn’t keep those guys away from the feeder. They swarmed him like a pack of wildly mad bee’s. No, not out of retaliation for some sort of transgression against geese that they are now fighting back with (anti-foie gras nightly fantasy), no in fact they wanted the food! These geese (who were very clean for geese by the way considering there where hundreds) absolutely LOVE being fed the way they do it! There is a feeding tube that is put down their throat partially and food is put directly into their stomachs. When it is featured in an out of context, re-edited to look like a horror movie video using words like “force fed” “stabbed down their throats” or making false claims that the food comes out so fast that it has made their stomachs explode (I saw how fast the feed came out and first, it looked like oatmeal, secondly there was barely any pressure at all and if you put your thumb on the end (which I got in trouble for slightly as it was supposed to be sterile—oops) the feed actually stops. Hardly enough to do anything to even the thinnest tissue. Anyway, as with most protesters, most tend to just follow along with what they see on TV or heard from a friend. Unfortunately a lot of that happens with any cause.

    By my estimation, these geese couldn’t be treated any better as I live in Pennsylvania now, and I see geese all the time running wild and having a hell of a time finding enough food/seed to live and avoid being hit by cars as they walk (frustratingly slow) across the street at random times.

  27. If people care about the geese, they should go out to the farms and see what can be done. I too saw the F Word segment. Protesting outside a restaurant doesn’t accomplish anything except annoy people. I hope the official media completely ignore them. Too bad you gave them a bit of publicity with this blog.

    Enjoy the musical. Don’t forget to sing along.
    DD

  28. Oh, well, there’s a few things I do find more despiccable than foie gras. Quite a few actually…

    – bio-industry eggs (you know, the chickens stuck in cages they can’t even move in) which are unfortunately still used in ALL industry products which contain eggs (for normal consumption, I always get free range eggs)
    – eels, which are after being caught put LIVE in incredibly salty solutions which essentially burn their skin off.
    – lobsters, boiled alive
    – make-up tests on live alimals
    – chinese fur coat production where animals are skinned live…
    – dancing bears
    – people who don’t neuter their cats and drown the litters, or worse – throw them out with the trash!
    – rabbits, mice, cats etc kept all alone and given no attention to the point where they die of loneliness
    – etc

    Doesn’t make foie gras right though.

  29. Wait, so as it stands, is this the correct airing order for SGU?
    1 – Air pt 1
    2 – Air pt 2
    3 – Air pt 3
    4 – Darkness (pt 1)
    5 – Light (pt 2)
    6 – Earth
    7 – Water
    8 – Life
    9 – Time
    10-Space (pt 1)
    11-Divided (pt 2)
    12-Justice
    13-Faith

  30. Questions for Asheligh: pg15 and Pete asked the one I wanted to ask: What drove you to Vegetarianism? So I’ll just ask a part two/three or so. Are your family Vegetarians, also? If not, how hard is it to maintain that lifestyle with meatatarians all around you?

    Tam

  31. Questions for Ashleigh (and if I missed any of this info on the blog previously, my apologies):

    1. What is your typical workday like, if there is such a thing?
    2. How did you choose to be a vegetarian? Was it something you’ve always done, or did you come to it later in life? Has it ever caused any medical or other issues? What’s your take on milk products and eggs?
    3. What are your hobbies or other interests? Do they dovetail at all with your job?

  32. Hi Joe,

    I too think that Ashleigh set up the demo – have you checked your office for bugs since you got back?

    Questions for Ashleigh – What is the worst trick that Mr M played on you and what did you do for payback?

    Have you any plans to write a “tell all” book about working with him?

    Of all of the cast members you meet – do you have a crush on any of them?

    Loving your blog Joe – so funny!

  33. Hey there Mr M!

    Greetings from Sun drenched Tipperary (yes, I have taken a photo…it is a rare event here)

    Thanks for the updates! Delighted to hear all the updates on SGU and SG:Extinction.

    Questions for the BRAVE soul that is : Ashleigh.

    (1) Welcome to the mayhem. Thank you for agreeing to talk to us here at the JM Blog.
    Firstly is this you?
    http://twitpic.com/640pb

    (2) Do you have Irish ancestors/cousins??

    (3) If you won the lottery, what would you do?

    (4) Favourite current TV series?

    (5) Favourite Holiday destination (after mexico)?

    Best to all

    S’n’T

  34. @Sherry Harris – I was born in Ky. I’ve proven that commenting on this blog with my extensive knowledge of the (sort of) edible portions of the poke weed plant. I’ll be going back there to cheer, maybe even campaign, if a certain someone ever gets around to announcing his Senate run.

    @PG-15: The text-messagers have managed something intellectuals have been attempting for centuries – coming up with a more phonetic writing system for English.

    Joe clearly has been practicing. I would assume it’s because there’s a scene in one of the episodes/movies/short stories/comic books where the crew has to sneak around an alien base and text message each other so the aliens won’t hear them. I wonder if he’ll have the text shown on-screen only or also read aloud by the crew member hiding in the secure hallway – or, in the case of SGU or a movie, is that a director’s decision? You should have guessed this already, PG-15.

  35. Finished The Land of Laughs last night. It was quite an adventure. Little things that happened in the story that I thought were going to be pivotal to the story ended up just being little things, never dealt with again. Frustrating. I like to know where I’m going when I read a book. I was off balance with this tale from the beginning.

    For example, I wasn’t sure what genre the book fell into. It seemed to start like a romance novel with Thomas and Saxony meeting over a much loved children’s book. But it lacked the energy, the drive of a romance. The pace in the beginning was slow, their lives mundane, even boring. So I knew it wasn’t’ a romance. But even though their lives were so boring I was quickly drawn into the story wanting to know where it was going. (I just couldn’t predict where that might be)

    Then we got into all the stuff about Thomas’ and Saxony’s troubled childhood and their relationships with their respective parents. I was afraid it was going to be one of those books Oprah loves about redemption and all that kind of ‘heal thy self’ type of stories. But again, their shared pain from the past wasn’t being dealt with, or for that matter even acknowledged by the other. The stories were just being put out there as a way of understanding the connection Thomas and Saxony felt toward Frances’ books.

    Truly, I still don’t know how I would classify the book. It is called Fantasy, but that doesn’t properly sum up the book. I agree with the earlier comments it is one of those books that tend to stay with you and keep you thinking.

    I will say one thing, the ending had me thinking of that old horror movie, hmmm, it think it was called Children of the Corn.

    Questions for Jonathan Carroll

    1. The book centers around the collective works of a children’s author. Did you have a relationship with a children’s author or a book like Saxony and Thomas?

    2. Thomas chose to work as a teacher, why do you think he was drawn to that profession? Did he see it as the opposite of his father’s profession as an actor?

    3. When Thomas received the letter from his student, it seemed to be a very pivotal moment for Thomas. How did this letter change him and his understanding of himself?

    4. How do you imagine Galen would be with the return of Frances? What would change, or would anything change there?

    5. When you look at a copy of The Land of Laughs, what comes into your mind? Who do you think about when you look at the book? What feelings and memories does it bring to you?

    6. What are you reading now?

    7. What are your top 10 favourite books?

    8. What genre of books do you usually browse at the book store?

    9. What was the worst subject you ever taught and why?

    10. Tea or coffee?

    Thanks
    Mishmee

  36. My questions for Ashleigh:

    !. Where did you learn to be so devious and crafty? Do you have older sibling that you have learned from for survial? Can you teach me? My office could use a little spark.

    2. Also you photograph very well, I think that you should have a part in either the Atlantis movie or in SGU. If this was offered would you agree to it?

    3. Don’t think we don’t think you are just devious, we know deep down you are woman of integrity and very caring. so when you’re not being devious and crafty, what do you like to do in your spare time?

    Thanks for taking the time to answer our questions, I’m sure Joe keeps you busy, but I’m sure you keep him in line – which could be a full time job in itself.

  37. Oh, don’t want to forget questions for Ashleigh.

    1. What is the most shocking thing you have learned since you started your job?

    2. What are your pet peeves and who is the worst offender?

    3. Where are you going on your next vacation?

    4. What is your dream vacation, where and what would you love to do on a 2 week vacation?

    5. What did you do before landing this dream job?

    Thanks,
    Keep up the good work of driving Mr M crazy. The hiatus pictures were a scream.

    Mishmee

  38. “…the Transylvania Platter with its schnitzels, sausages, cabbage rolls, and spaetzle!…”

    Funny thing isn’t it? Those dishes are known to be VERY typical Austrian dishes :D. I never knew, that there was a Transylvanian schnitzel… I only knew our “Wiener (=Viennese) Schnitzel” and the “tyrolean kässpätzle” (=with cheese).

    But probably these Transylvanian dishes are some different variation of it. I’d love to try these once as well…

  39. @SherryHarris: “I live in Kentucky, we eat what we want and shoot people that don’t like it.”

    Sounds like Texas!

  40. Tell the truth Ashleigh…..Joe’s a pain in the Butt at times right?????he’s a sneaky Dude..EH

  41. I think I actually have my first question ever for a Q&A (because I can never think up of any good questions) but this is for Ashleigh:

    Did you exact your revenge yet for the April Fool’s joke? If so, what was it?

  42. Coucou =) ça va ? Moi super!

    Merci pour ces photos! Vous me donnez encore plus envi de voir sgu^^!

    Tient c’est rigolo que vous parliez de foie gras, car j’ai justement lu des livres dessu la où je travail et biensure j’ai tout de suite pensais à vous!

    Passez une bonne journée!
    Bisou!

  43. @Karen a.k.a. kabra

    Come to think of it. It is real easy to picture Ashleigh in Traveler garb abusing Sheppard as the next Larrin like swashbuckling leader.

    Maybe there should be a poll of the blog readers if Ashleigh should be some kind of villain in the next SGA project.

  44. Questions for Ashleigh:

    (1) What is in the top drawer of Joe’s desk?

    (2) Are they paying you enough to work with Joe?

    (3) What is the BEST part of your job?

  45. Hi Joe,

    Kind of you to let Ashleigh run amok on your blog.

    For Ashleigh: What was it like when you started working for these jokers? Does anyone besides Joe terrorize you?

    And: When they’re not yanking your chain – what is a typical day of work for you?

  46. Wait, wait a minute: if Fire is now Darkness and Light, what remains of the element titles in the first season? Or is there an episode later on in the season titled ‘Fire’ now?

  47. On the foie gras front, I’d like to share two things. One: A friend of mine who is a classically trained chef has told me that geese don’t have a gag reflex, so “force feeding” them isn’t at all the same as it would be for us (all anthropomorphizing aside).

    Two: This video about a Spanish farmer who has found a way to raise foie gras geese without tube feeding them.

    I’m not a huge fan of foie, just because the texture is a bit off-putting to me, but I would never question other people’s right to eat it. I grew up eating calf’s liver, and have several relatives in Maine who swear that lobster liver is the best part of the sea-bug.

    Most of my questions for Ashleigh have already been asked, but in Stargate tradition, someone oughta ask: How did you get to be so awesome?

  48. I am so down with savoring duck liver in front of young, angry protesters! I hope you smacked your lips appropriately in their direction. I live in DC, and we can’t hardly walk to the corner without running into one protester or another. Someone needs to tell these guys that protesting is so yesterday. No one is listening anymore.

  49. That is such a d*ck move. You ate foie gras infront of a bunch of protestors and didn’t offer them any? You need to learn some manners.

    I have never had foie gras but just because of the controversy I want to try it. Next time there is a demonstration gimme a call.

    Question for Ashleigh:
    Aside from trying to ruin Joe’s day, what exactly is your job?

  50. Chloe’s farewell stood out particuarly to me. Could it be that she’s that suicide which is supposed to occur before episode six? 😀 Hmm..

  51. It might interest you to know, JM, that the all-knowing UN has recommended giving up meat in order to save the planet.

    Now, there are acceptable reasons for going vegetarian, I suppose (but not vegan, there is no acceptable reason for that): religious belief, philosophical principle, health reasons. But give up meat to save the planet? What would be the point?

  52. Ashleigh –
    Speaking of men in spandex *inspired by Joe’s revelation of his fave Altar Boy*…are you excited for the Winter Olympics in your beautiful city? Men (and women) in crazy, tight costumes dancing and leaping on ice? Or dangerously speeding down narrow shutes (I speak of luge, of course). Or navigating treacherous mountain slopes on skis. All in spandex. Tight fitting spandex. (Yes, my mind is in the gutter today)

    But seriously though, will the Winter Olympics in any way affect the still to be determined shooting schedules of the Stargate movies (SG-1 and SGA)?
    Thanks.
    ~ Miz

  53. Questions for Ashleigh:

    Can I have your email? If not 🙂 I want to know what your secret is for becoming noted.

    Peter

  54. Hi, Joe —

    Took a look at the menu for Danube online. You guys need to eat there lots so that it will still be open come April for Creation Con. Schnitzel = love.

    I live in Berkeley, California, the center of the protest-over- everything universe. I applaud you for heading right out to eat the foie. Did you notice if the SUV that picked the protesters up was covered with save the earth, no war for oil bumper stickers? That’s one of my favorite local hypocrisies.

    Questions for Ashleigh:

    1. Of the folks you assist, who is the highest maintenance? And who is the lowest?

    2. Are you responsible for ordering in lunch? If so, how elaborate are Joe’s orders compared to the others? Has he ever beaten you about the head and ears for getting an order wrong?

  55. Just curious… How many of you here would go to a Convention if ASHLEIGH was a Guest?

    For: ASHLEIGH
    Sweetie, if you ever need extra “mad money” or just a weekend away from The Office, consider being a guest at any SG related convention! Especially a Fan run one. The big Toronto [TCON] one is in mid-July… think on it…

  56. Oh man, that is too funny! You should have purchased the meatiest take out on the menu for the homeless protestors. I’d love to see the granola kids try to take a burger away from hungry hobos.

  57. @Mrs. Sherry and Joe

    You heard the lady, unless you post some SGU and Brian J. Smith pics and info, she might order her son to stop working for you!!!!!!!!!!!

    Thanks for the updates you did give us though. Sorry you lost the bet 🙁

    Questions for Mr. Awesome(Yes, you are cooler than Ashleigh by a little bit)

    1. Will the midseason 2 parter be between Justice and Space, or Space and Divided?

    2. If you get a quick moment, could you ask Carl the exact date of MGM’s 85th B-day please?

    3. Will Andy be Directing Space?

    4. So what do you think of my video? (We actually did this back in november, so it was like the second video we ever made).

    5. Any updates on the N. John Smith Q&A?

    Questions for Ashleigh

    1. Were you born this cool?

    2. What episode of SGU( Filmed or yet to be filmed) are you most excited about?

    3. Do you enjoy driving Joe nuts?

    4. Did you know you all of us blog commenters are huge fans of yours( Do you have an Ashleigh t-shirts yet. You could make a lot of money off merchendise)?

    Thanks so much,
    Major D. Davis

  58. @chef_jayturner: It sounds like MacDonald’s. Thanks for explaining *how* it’s done. It’s about as cruel as MacDonald’s then, too, right? Or less cruel since the farmer probably doesn’t spill hot coffee on the geese. At least, that’s what I’m assuming. 😀

    @Mackenzie’s momma: Right… my snark is not very funny. I know. I should keep it to myself. 😉 In my defence I wrote that post when I was really tired. And cranky. And did I mention tired?

  59. One more thing… geese are mean. Seriously!

    I’m an animal lover. Always have been, always will be. And usually, animals return the favor. Clydesdale horses can’t get enough of me. My dogs seem to like me.

    But geese; they HATE me! With a passion! Out of a crowd of 100 people they single me out. Somehow Allie’s inherited whatever it is that makes geese hate me. Once, when Allie was about 4 I took her to a farm that had horse riding. On the walk back to the car I knew a goose was watching us. I didn’t know there were geese there, but I swear I knew one was around. Sure enough, out of the bushes charged this goose! It came right for Allie. I had to get in between them! I remember thinking I’d have to actually strangle the animal with my bare hands to keep Allie from harm. As soon as the goose realized it was messing with a very angry mama-person with murder in her eyes, it took off. I picked up Allie and ran to the car. As we got in the car about five or six geese came running out of the woods! That damn thing had gone for back-up!

    My point is, geese are mean. Really, really, viciously mean.

  60. As the Producer and Co-Conceiver of Altar Boyz, I can honestly tell you . . . you are not the first person to have thought that you wouldn’t enjoy Altar Boyz! Lots of people think EXACTLY what you think . . .

    But talk to me after you see it (and if you can, get to the original Off-Broadway production). I guarantee you’ll enjoy it.

    In fact, I’ll make a double or nothing bet with you and your friend Kerry . . .

    If you don’t like it . . . I’ll pay for your tickets.

    Ken Davenport
    http://www.TheProducersPerspective.com

  61. Hey Joe. I’ve been a long time reader of your posts ever since you teased season 4 with pictures of the sets and behind-the-scenes action. My sister-in-law LOVES the pictures of your pugs.

    Questions for Ashleigh:

    1. How do you tolerate your fellow co-worker’s antics?
    2. How did you get into your line of work? Did you waste 5-7 years at University for a degree you never used and somehow got lucky at Stargate or is there a long and arduous tale behind your position at Bridge Studios?
    3. Joe has hinted at you being the cause of the swine flu epidemic. IS THIS TRUE!?
    4. Who was the best James Bond, in your opinion?

    Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule.

  62. Question for Ashleigh:

    1. I have a friend who still hasn’t got her husband back for an April Fool’s joke (she has asked for suggestions). Her problem is she can’t lie with a straight face. What should she do?

    2. She’s Canadian and very much reinforces the stereotype we have around here of Canadians being extremely polite and nice. Is not being able to lie with a straight face a Canadian thing, too?

  63. @ Mackenzie’s momma- How did you like the con. you went to?, i’m going in nov. To LA. Any words of wisdom?, thanks Sheryl

  64. @ Montrealer
    Hey I think that would be cool, it pains me to see Sheppard get his butt kicked, but if someone had to do it, Ashleigh would be great.

  65. “Chloe’s farewell”? Is she leaving the show already? And did you just give away a major spoiler? Nah, you wouldn’t have been that careless, right?

    Question for Ashleigh: Don’t you get annoyed at Mallozzi for taking all those pictures of you? Wouldn’t you like a better job where your not always getting “caught on film”?

  66. @Kaleb and @Craig MD
    It could easily be Chloe’s farewell to someone else who is leaving. Or someThing…

  67. Ash, can I call you Ash? What exactly do you have on Joe? The other day when I said hi to you, (“Hey, you must be the famous Ashleigh.”), I saw fear in Joe’s eyes. I could see the thoughts going through his head, “OMG, what’s she going to do? That poor extra…he will be remembered. I wonder if locations will clean up what’s left of him, or if Carl and I will have to? If I start running now while she’s distracted, will I escape before she notices I’m gone?” A couple other questions: Is the Stargate program real? Are you Goa’uld?

  68. Hi, here’s my question if it’s not too late.

    I was wondering do you have specifics on who is judging the blu-ray cover disc contest?

    When will we know who the winners are?

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