So I realized that my approach to planning this Tokyo trip was all wrong. Instead of building an itinerary based on what I want to do, I should be basing it on what would provide you, dear blog readers, with the most entertainment value. With this in mind, I’ve decided to divvy up my meals accordingly: Dinners – I’ll be checking out the high-end restaurants like Joel Robuchon and Morimoto XEX. Lunches – I’ll be hitting some of Tokyo’s most outlandish theme restaurants like The Vampire Café and that place where the waitresses dress up as maids. This should offer up a wonderfully varied, potentially awkward, yet no doubt memorable assortment of dining experiences.

The casual lunches probably won’t require reservations but the fancy dinners certainly will. Unfortunately, my attempts to book some tables online proved a little trickier than expected given that none of the websites are in English – and the few that are in English require phone reservations. My Japanese is passable (I possess the verbal skills of a very polite four year old Japanese boy), but I’m not sure it would pass the infamous “Maitre d‘ Test“. At a bit of a loss, I emailed The Peninsula Hotel (which will be my home away from home while I‘m in Tokyo) about my situation and received a responsible from an amiable fellow named Yian, the hotel concierge, who offered to make the arrangements for me. What a swell guy! I sent him a list of my top ten picks (actually more like thirteen just in case he’s unable to get me in at certain places since some of the city’s top restaurants book up three months in advance) and gave him the heads up that I would be traveling alone and as such, might be eating alone on more than one occasion (although I’m fairly confident that I will hit it off with the Harajuku Goth gang and thus never wont for a dining companion). Is it okay to eat alone in Japan? I’m sure that many a Japanese salaryman will saddle up to a yakitori counter and dine solo, but how often does this happen in Tokyo’s higher-end restaurants? I would prefer to know what is and is not acceptable lest I commit an egregious social faux pas. You would think that you could let common sense guide you but, in truth, you can’t leave anything to chance in a foreign country. For example, noisily slurping your noodles is perfectly acceptable in Tokyo but taking off your shirt in a karaoke bar in order to do the best possible Steven Tyler impersonation is not. I mean, seriously! What gives?!

But I get ahead of myself. Before hitting Tokyo in late November, I’ll be heading down to L.A. for three days next week. We have seven meetings lined up. Now I’m sure it won’t come as a surprise to any of you when I say that I’m better on paper, but I am nevertheless confident that by the end of that seventh meeting, we’ll be fairly close to having our horror pitch down pat. I’m ready. The only thing I need now is a title. So far, these are what I’ve come up with:

Citizen Cane, Bludgeon, and Stab

Mr. Smith Goes to a Creepy Slovakian Hostel

On the Slaughter Front

It’s A Wonderful Knife

All About Cleave

West Side Gory

Birth of a Nation of Brain-Eating Zombies

Dances with Werewolves

The Dear Hunter

Queasy Rider

Bringing Up Baby…After You’ve Eaten It!

Guess Who’s Having Us For Dinner?

Damn, this is going to be tough. They’re all great!

72 thoughts on “October 22, 2008: Table for ONE! and Coming up with the Perfect Horror Movie Title

  1. I love the horror movie titles. Have fun on all your trips: LA and Japan. Be safe

  2. Don’t forget the Maltese Falchion, Planet of the Man Eating Apes, In the Heat of the Night a Big Chill runs through it, and Night of the Blazing Saddles.
    I am in awe of your logistical and planning skills. I’d never have thought about reservations until I found myself “over there”, and scrambling to find a translator who could assist. That is one of the nice things about staying at a high-end hotel though. The assistance is there for the asking, and usually provides full satisfaction. But are you in some way trying to guilt us about the pains you are taking to amuse and edify us? If so, it’s working. I just hope you have fun, and any tidbits you drop will be appreciated.
    Good luck on the L.A. thing. I do trust that the Customs folks on your side of the border will take precautions about decontaminating you when you return. L.A. is a very strange place, even for California. Again, enjoy.

  3. Oh Joe — the horror titles are priceless. Good luck on your pitch meetings.

  4. Dances with Werewolves, definitely =)

    Lol you can come up with a snappy title, but the head honchos who buy it will probably change it anyway :-\

    Anyhow, Tokyo sounds like it’s gonna be fun… make sure you read up on those customs, though! You want to come back in one piece!

  5. Not knowing what the horror movie is about, it is a bit tough to weigh in on the titles. Nevertheless, I vote for “Bringing Up Baby…After You’ve Eaten” It, just because it sounds a bit like a comedy / horror flick, and I love to laugh and be frighten all at the same time! Go Joe!

    I wish you could record some of your pitching interviews for our entertainment. But I suspect that won’t be a possibility. But the least you could do is to shoot some video of you and Paul in LA… it could be entitled Joe and Paul Do LA? The pornographic comedy potential would be priceless! Or not… Have fun!

  6. Since I’ve only been in the lowest class eateries, I know that it is alright to dine alone in Japan when you’re spending less than ten bucks. As for the high end, hire a charming dinner companion. She’ll laugh at your jokes even if she speaks no English, pour your drinks and demurely slip away in a taxi … with a hefty tip in her pocket and no monkey business about it. Yeah, right, let me explain that to Fondy, huh?

    I went on a biker weekend with hubby and the Rising Sons, rode up into the mountains on a harley. They had hostesses at the ryokan. The girls thought it was sweet that a wife had tagged along; they were nicer to me than to the men. I couldn’t lift a finger to do a thing for myself.

    Actually, some of my Navy buddies, the hot female ones, worked as escorts in Tokyo on weekends. Made piles of money, only got groped now and then, and went to a lot of places beyond the reach of gals on military pay. I was married. Sigh. I miss all the fun.

    Man, no Vampire Cafes when I was there … missing all that fun again.

    Good movie titles, straight to DVD, huh? I have one called a Polish Vampire in Burbank. I’ve yet to watch it, I find the title terrifyingly awful.

    Still mourning the loss of my hamster. Why can’t we have an off switch for cases of temporary love?

  7. Bringing Up Baby…After You’ve Eaten It!

    I have to say that’s wrong…so very, very sick and wrong. But god, it’s also damn funny. Go with this one Joe.

  8. You have only yourself to blame…you started it!

    The Sound of Screaming

    In Fuel no one can Hear you Scream (okay technically a strap line)

    Singing in the Acid Rain

    Nightmare Girls

    Westside Slaughter

    Seven Queens for Seven Wraith

    Nightmare on Sesame Street

    Bride and Extreme Prejudice

    A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Mortuary


  9. Photographs of Shibuya district at night would be great blog fodder. I was there ten years ago, with all the neon and crazy costumes it looked like an SF movie set. Plus I’d just love to see if it’s as cool as I remember…

  10. How about this for a title: “The Blob: Sushi Sampling in Tokyo”?

    Or, “Teriyaki Terror”?

    Or, “Godzilla Does Gourmet”?

  11. Your adventure is gonna be interesting. Please make sure to tell us of all the social faux pas you are involved in, that in itself is hilarious.

    Would you really take your shirt off for karaoke? Some how I am thinking, NO, but what a picture you painted.

    Well, all I know, after re-watching Kindred part I again with commentary, is give Paul a chance to talk. I couldn’t stop laughing at how you talked and talked and barely gave Mr. West a moment. He even seemed to be playing with that for a bit. It was like listening to Rodney go on and on and on…. which I always found pretty funny.

    Good luck on the title. Not sure any of them catch me, but I am thinking you are just joking as usual.

  12. On the Slaughter front is the main one for me!!!

    Can we come up with some titles?

    How about ‘Halloweiner – The killer sausage”

    I’m going to Sydney for a 6 day holiday adventure with my boyfriend tomorrow morning (my time)… so I doubt I’ll be on as hotel internet dsl is expensive. Wish me well!

  13. LOL,

    Hi again,

    Love all those titles. At first I thought “Damn, this is going to be tough. They’re all great!” was another title, until i got halfway through it. :/ lol

    Have fun on you trip!

    P.S. Oh, and something I still don’t understand about the Wraith. We’ve seen how they reproduce their soldiers, but how about their females, the Queens? I mean, in ‘Instinct’, we saw Ellia(sp?) as a young girl and was told she ate like any human child (until she got older), but somehow I doubt they are born the same way. I mean, she grew up, the soldiers were born pretty much as adults. (er, sorry about length)

  14. You are going to Tokyo alone?

    *checks paycheck stub*

    I have 195 sick days saved up. Would you like company? The only Japanese I can speak is what I learned from reading Shogun 30 years ago. Wakerimase? (*cringes at spelling*)

    Regarding your horror movie…Is this a zombie movie? I sense a zombie theme throughout your proposed titles.

    Here is a place on the internet that gives you Japanese terms to use in restaurants:

    Gokouun o inorimasu!

  15. Hi Joe!

    I hope you have a fantabulous time in Tokyo. As for “I possess the verbal skills of a very polite four year old Japanese boy,” don’t we all? 😉

    I hope your horror pitch goes extra extra gory, er, good! My fave titles are:

    On the Slaughter Front
    Damn, this is going to be tough. They’re all great!

    The second one is a bit long and doesn’t abbreviate well (DTIGTBTTAG), but it’s very positive. Maybe change “great!” to “grate!” and have some kind of killer cheese grater? Or people falling into a sewer grate? Your choice, of course.

    I can’t believe there’s less than 10 eps of SGA left. *weeps* Thank Ged for the DVDs.

    Have a good one!


  16. You’re right, those are all great titles. Although I think “Dances With Werewolves” has probably been used before. Might I also suggest…

    “Stabbin’ in the Rain”
    “E.T. – The Extra-Tasty”
    “Blade Run-You-Through-With-er”
    “Schindler’s List of Ways to Kill You”
    “The Creepy Old Dude Who Hides the Bodies of Naive Farmgirls in His Basement of Oz”
    “Die Incredibly Easy”
    “Annie Maul”
    “Some Like It Hot… In Hell”
    “Field of Screams”
    “A Streetcar That’s On Fire”
    “From Here to Eternity… In Hell”
    “Do the Wrong Thing”
    “Pain Man”
    “A Rebel Without a Head”
    “Top Gun, Middle Knife, and Bottom Flail”
    “The Princess Died”
    “Breakfast of Tiffany”
    “When Harry Met Sally… In Hell”

  17. Ya gotta stick to a catchy one word title or two words with few syllables. Especially if your demo audience ends up being the Under-24-IQ-of-Roadkill-Generation. Too many letters to text on their I[diot]-Phones for that word-of-mouth thing. However, it would also be good if said title held some historic socio-cinematographic/literate meaning for us *Old* Folks [you know, those of us who grew up in the days back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth looking for a good cave drawing to view whilst munching on the losing contestants of the Gong Show].

    And BTW, smart move with the Concierge. That *IS* why they are there! Just remember to tip him very well.

  18. Those are great titles, Joe. May I also suggest “Carvey”, “The Sound of Screams”, “Gone With the Flesh Eating Virus”, “Bridge over the River Blood”, “Massacre on 34th Street”, and “Showgirls 2”.

    No credit necessary if you decide to use one of those titles. The world need not know that my roommate and I just spent twenty minutes of serious concentration coming up with them. 😉

    Actually, the hardest part for me was thinking up classic movies that weren’t already horror films. So, my hat (if I were wearing one) is off to you, sir.

    Anyway, I’m looking forward to your blogging from Japan, especially if you’re going outlandish theme resteraunts. I can only imagine what sort of interesting people you’ll see and interesting food you’ll eat. I appreciate you putting yourself on the line like that for your readers’ entertainment.

  19. There werewolf one is already taken:

    Dancing With Werewolves: Delilah Street, Paranormal Investigator by Carole Nelson Douglas (Paperback – Oct 24, 2007)

    Perhaps it belongs on your reading stack? CND is pretty good (although I haven’t read that particular book yet…)

  20. I love those titles!! Dances with Werewolves…*snicker*

    How about a few more to throw into the mix?

    The Devil Eats Prada
    School of Shock
    Final Desecration
    2008: A Spook’s Odyssey
    We Were Zombies

  21. I’m going to have to go with…

    “Damn, this is going to be tough. They’re all great!”

    I’m assuming you’re pitching a horror movie about cannibals at a buffet, of course.

  22. The solution to your language problems is simple – just take the bit out of the Stargate that translates every language into English. 🙂

    I wish you well on your trip and may your days of indigestion be few.

  23. Hey Annie from Fremantle – Have a blast. Is this the trip you mentioned a while back?

    thornyrose – you have the best monster icon. She looks like a Monster Librarian who has something to say and isn’t happy about it.

    Signing off from a very tiring day, The Zorro Monster.

  24. I am definalty looking forward to the japanese posts Im sure you’ll have alot of cool/slightly disturbing photos ^^

  25. Hmm. I detect a hint of sarcasm, Joe. LOL

    Anyway, sounds exciting! I’m glad you were able to find someone to help you with reservations and the like. That’s the nice thing about going to a) an English-speaking country and b) not having the resources to eat fancy and just walking into the first relatively cheap looking restaurant. You don’t need an assistant! Although, one day I will add a zagat to my Blackberry…

    I’m loving the titles! Though to be honest, my favorite is Pauline’s “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Mortuary “.

  26. “My Japanese is passable (I possess the verbal skills of a very polite four year old Japanese boy), but I’m not sure it would pass the infamous “Maitre d‘ Test“.”

    Soo.. rapid, incessant babble, pitched at a volume that’s impossible to ignore? Then you should do quite well, Joe. From past experience with my four year old Nephew, he makes more sense than the majority of adults I talk to.

    “I’ll be hitting some of Tokyo’s most outlandish theme restaurants like The Vampire Café and that place where the waitresses dress up as maids. This should offer up a wonderfully varied, potentially awkward, yet no doubt memorable assortment of dining experiences.”

    Noo.. what you need to be doing is heading to those places where the Clientele is expected to arrive in costume too. We need piccies. Lots ‘n lots of piccies.

    Soo.. to coin a Narelle-phrase, i’m feeling disenfranchised right now. As much as I am trying to keep an open mind about the upcoming SGU, I am slowly tiring of having it shoved in my face all the time. Pizzas, anchovies and olives aside, I wants my Atlantis and I wanna watch it to the finale without being constantly reminded of why it’s coming to an end.

    Meh.. Sorry. Tis one’ve those ‘my-positive-mental-attitude-just-flew-out-of-the-window’ days 🙁

  27. Bonjour Joe,
    Sure ! If you want to visit Joël Robuchon, go to Paris (“la table” is a very expansive restaurant, maybe 150/200 euros to be happy !), not to Tokyo.
    Why don’t you take real vacations? That means without internet, without computer, without your job in your luggage ?
    And I think Japan is the best place about sci-fi, fantasy and horror movies. Look, lot of American’s movies are remakes of Japanese movies : the ring, the grudge, the eye, Dark water, the magnificent seven, Godzilla, one missed call (very bad remake). And Japanese Video games as well : resident evil, the silent …
    Bonnes vacances.

  28. I go for:

    Bringing Up Baby…After You’ve Eaten It!

    Guess Who’s Having Us For Dinner?

    Yes, both are tasteless, I know….but it was you who came up with it 😉

  29. Definitely “Guess Who’s Having Us For Dinner?” Although the potential others are all good, if a little too serious and original for my liking.

    It sounds like your trip to Tokyo is going to be great. And, again, good luck next week =]

  30. lol, I like ‘What a wonderful knife’ but truly they’re all great. Gd luck with chosing

  31. Hey Joe, what do you think is more important for a movie, a good title or a good tag line/slogan and what’s your favourite movie tag line?

    I like the following:

    He is afraid. He is alone. He is three million light years from home.

    Have a nice end of the world.

    One Man’s Struggle To Take It Easy.

    Does for rock and roll what “The Sound of Music” did for hills.

    What if someone you never met, someone you never saw, someone you never knew was the only someone for you?

    OK, so those ones are pretty well known, I’m sure we can all come up with a better list.

    I think out of the movie titles I probably like Birth of a Nation of Brain-Eating Zombies best, although brain-eating zombies is a tad redundant isn’t it? Are there any other kind?

    Cheers, Chev

    p.s. Well I just watched the last episode of Season 4 with my parents (we’ve been going through the box set). We finished up with Trio actually as the disk wasn’t working the other week when we got up to that. Mum was soooo disappointed when I said it was the end of the season. She loves Atlantis. I wish MGM and Aussie iTunes would make a deal already. I’d buy the whole season.

  32. Hey Joe,

    When I was in Japan earlier this year I did see numerous solo diners in restaurants. Even in some of the more high-end ones. They were mainly businessmen (I assumed) in town on business and so it wasn’t out of the ordinary for them to dine alone.

    You might find that another solo diner in a restaurant kicks up a conversation with you and brings up the idea of sharing a table. I saw that happen many a time during my stay.

    As for social faux-pas. I managed to not commit one of them as far as I know. I didn’t eat whilst walking in the street, I remembered to bow, I didn’t use my phone on public transport etc etc.

    Hope you have a good time. And when you’re in Harajuku say ‘Hi’ to the kid in the Pikachu costume (it’s a guy not a girl – it’ll avoid alot confusion believe me). Oh, and if you’ve got the space to squeeze it in on your culinary adventure, visit the Bape?! Cafe in Harajuku. They do some amazing Banana Waffles.


  33. “Guess Who’s Having Us For Dinner” – Definitely a winner!

    Thanks for thinking of us first, on your gastronomic adventure. We surely appreciate it!

  34. I cannot wait for the weird food purchases from Tokyo. I thought of you the other day, Joe, my husband and I were at an art supply store and next to it was an oriental market/ store. My wierd food purchase for the day was, honey ginger latte. It wasn’t bad, very spicy, but very creamy. I was afraid to purchase anything I could identify or read in English.

    Have a safe trip to LA and Tokyo and all the best to you with the horror movie.

  35. On the Slaughter Front.

    Yep, that’s my personal fav.

    I’m pretty sure you can take your shirt off & do your Steven Tyler impression in LA with no trouble. And you don’t even HAVE to be in a karaoke bar.

    That way you can get it out of your system before you go to Tokyo. (That rhymed!)

  36. …I’m better on paper…

    I’m sure grumpy Paul balances out the team, right?

    A horror movie title? How about Stargate Universe?

    No? I suppose not since that’s technically not a title *for*a horror show; it’s a title and concept that instills horror in the hearts of SGA fans.

  37. Tokyo trip sounds fantastic! And yes, good move on the Concierge.

    Stayed in Montreal one weekend (I was producing a video shoot at the Skippy Peanut Butter factory, documenting how peanut butter is made. One of those “how they do it” things.) The crew and I decided – last minute of course – to go see the Habs play later that night, and we asked the Concierge which end of the stadium had the best scalpers.

    His response?

    “Pffft. Scalpers!” Then he frowned in disgust. “You don’t want scalpers. ” Big smile and a wink. “I got a guy. You want my guy. Come back at 6:30. I will have your tickets.”

    Damn if we didn’t get center ice ten rows up for less than cost. 😛

    Now if only he could have done something about the minus 30 wind-chill we had to deal with walking to the arena. (We weren’t brave enough to attempt riding in a cab – freekin crazy drivers).

    – Nika

  38. My fave is “It’s A Wonderful Knife”, even if I have a soft spot for “Guess Who’s Having Us For Dinner”…

    A funny movie title would be “Lost in Digestion”, but that’s sounds like a ER movie maybe…

  39. The only Japanese I know comes from countless hours of watching anime like, “The Bubble Gum Crisis”,” Gunbuster”, “Iria Zeiram”, “Warriors of the Wind” (or Nausicca for the newbies) etc…

    Just remember, any title ending with “…of Death” is sure to be a winner.

    ex. The Little Mermaid…of Death.
    Wedding Crashers…of Death.

    Dare I go on?

    Then there is the ultimate horror movie title of them all…

    High School Musical 3

  40. Just wondering … tipping is bad form in Japan, or at least is was a decade or so ago. Yeah, hostess tips are technically cash “presento”, not tips. So is tipping encouraged in high end restaurants? Included in the bill? Will the concierge be offended with a big tip?

    Best traditional Japanese meal I ever had: my parents took me down to Miyajima, that picturesque island full of resorts. Yes, the one that’s in all the pictures with the torii gate in the water. We stayed at a ryokan, wandered the streets in our hotel yukata, and one evening, had a meal served in our room. Low tables on tatami, of course. I wish I’d taken pictures or written down the courses, and there were many traditional courses, all served by geisha. Dishes like sazae tsuboyaki (wreath shell) and cha-wan mushi (custard soup/poached seafood flan?), all sorts of tasty things in lovely tiny dishes … I had forgotten the experience until just now. Silly me, should have kept a diary all those years.

    Then again, I learned most of the names of dishes by pointing at the plastic models and parroting. Or using my “Eating Cheap in Japan … a Gaijin’s Gourmet’s Guide to ordering in non-tourist Restaurants.” Yeah, katsu-don and kare raisu and ten-don and cha-han and om-raisu and gyoza and gomoku udon and cold soba. And the drunken noodle cart dining, and the yaki-tori carts, and tako-yaki and yaki-imo. And okonomiyaki and yakisoba and bento in the train station, and sweet bean cakes. Sorry, but I’d gork on low end food long before I got to a high end place.

  41. Hey Joe! Look what came in my inbox today:

    I have a new email address!
    You can now email me at:

    Dearest One We seek your kind help to transfer our inherited money $4.560,000,00 into your account.

    – Johnson Kennedy

  42. Hey Joe!

    Upon reading about your worries about performing a social faux pas, and having did some studying on the subject some few days ago, I found this perfect Wikipedia entry for you:

    Although I am unsure that you should perform the standard polite greeting and ending during the meal as you are eating alone, if you have people nearby, it may be acceptable to do. Also, you should clear your entire plate, you can slurp food (as you mentioned), chew with the mouth closed (as usual), and lift your plate to your mouth while consuming soup and rice.

    If you used toothpicks, cover your mouth so others can’t see the act, and avoid blowing your nose in public. Also, it’s considered Japanese custom to put soy sauce in a separate bowl than on the food you want to eat it with. Don’t pour too much into the bowl as it can be considered greedy.

    In regards to eating alone, I found these:

    Although there isn’t a large portion of people eating alone, it appears to be acceptable in the Japanese culture. So you should be fine. 🙂

    I hope this helps, and best of luck in planning your culinary adventure of Japan! I greatly look forward to reading on it, and seeing the photos! 😀

    – Enzo Aquarius

  43. coucou joseph! =D Me voila!!!
    J’ai passer ma plus grosse journée de cour et raté mon contrôl! Peut importe dermain je suis en vacance^^!!

    Yéé! Joel Robuchon trés bonne référence^^! Miamemiame!!!

    N’empêche les Japonnais sont vraiment bizzard, ils ont une façon et un mode de vie totalement différent du notre. C’est peut être le mode vie du futur?? j’ai vraiment l’inpréssion qu’ils ont au moin 20 ans d’avances sur nous, de plus ils arrivent à garder leurs tradictions et cela c’est bien!! Mais malheuresement dans 150 ans il n’y aura plus de japonnais, car ils ont un gros probléme de fécondité, snif comme un peu les asgards, sauf que les japonnais peuvent faire des enfants, mais ils ne le veulent pas^^!!

    Bon sur ce , je vous laisse=) Bisou Bisou!! a demain♥

  44. Are you sure all those titles could actually fit to one and the same script? o.<

    Don’t forget to take a lot of pics at the Vampire Café! Thanks for trying to provide us with the most entertaining value but you’re almost making it sound as if you’re going to suffer for us even though it will be YOU being in TOKYO enjoying strange food in varied famous restaurants!
    I’ve been reading your blog for a short time only but I’m quite certain that this fits very well into a pattern of what you’d like 😉
    (I’m unsure about that wording though, but I hope you can guess what I mean ^^”).

    similar to Hayloh, my knowledge of Japanese is based on watching subbed animes and it consists of yes, what, thanks and different names for demons and priests 😉

    Lost in Digestion, urks xD

  45. I like ‘Its a wonderful knife’.

    I like ‘The Dear Hunter’ too – if your writing a follow up to ‘So I Killed Bambi’s Mom’

  46. Definitely “Guess Who’s Having Us For Dinner?”
    It just has a nice ring to it.

    Also had a funny experience that I got to watch. I was at our regional marching band contest and this particular bad ass band that was there did this sweet patriotic show. They did great until the end when they decided to raise a massive 30 yd x 20 yd USA flag across the front of the football field which the wind promptly caught and blew into the stands. Not to worry though, it only knocked over three people and about 5,000 dollars worth of instruments.

    Anyway, just wrapped up my journey through seasons 1-4 of SGA on the DVDs. I have to say, it made me appreciate the show even more and I can’t wait for more.

  47. Michael Shaws’ Shanking Redemption?

    I have not been to Japan but I would love to go. Being a little familiar with Japanese culture, I feel it is my ‘doody’ to warn you. Make sure it is marked “Western Toilet”, not “Japanese Toilet” or you may face an unprecedented challenge of epic proportions that you will undoubtedly never forget.

    What does Fondy think of these maids?

  48. I hope that we all enjoy your holiday to Japan.

    Isn’t it a high-risk eathquake area.

    Remember and bring us back a present and to send us all postcards.

  49. Hey Annie from Fremantle – Have a blast. Is this the trip you mentioned a while back?

    Yes!!! This trip was planned in Feb, booked in March and today’s the big day… I’ll be on a plane flying to Sydney!!!

    Can’t wait. Bags are packed and I’ll be sure to blog the meals I’m gonna have. I know I’m being taken to a few flash restaurants so I’ll have my camera handy. I know…..

    Hey Joe, do you get a bit embarrassed taking photos of your food in a restaurant? What excuses do you give the waiter?

  50. quade1 … the Japanese style toilets are few and far between. For a guy, there’s little worry. Now for a lady in a skirt, heels and hose, drunk as a sailor on three days liberty, at five ayem in the Roppongi subway public toilet? That’s a challenge. I never once peed on my feet.

    Come to think of it, I was a sailor, drunk on three days’ liberty. Woohoo!

  51. susan the tartan turtle from cold and windy Scotland - she's hiding under the duvet. :-) says:

    Annie from Freemantle and Sydney – enjoy your trip. I hope that you have a great time.

    I am saving up all my pennies to go to DragonCon next year.

  52. Why not name the movie after it’s protagonist?

    Seems to work with people these days, Gives them the imagination of it being more real, Able to connect with the character on a deeper level.

    Plus they won’t be like “Did you see that guy in that movie?”, instead they’ll be like “Did you see that movie?, Man I hope they make more of those with that character in ’em!”

    Face it,

    Hannibal, (Jig)Saw, Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger… Etc, These are movies people remember because of those individuals names.

    Bottom line, Invent a new horror and name it after the killer and you got yourself a hit.

    And just a little word of advice from an avid horror movie watcher, “More is better” , Oh and leave the story open for possible sequels (Don’t off the killer, Just off everyone else, No happy ending crap)

    Anyway, I’m probably just rambling. Just thought I’d let my voice be heard.

    Good luck with your movie! 🙂

  53. Hi Joe,
    In regards to your Horror movie title….if the movie is a true horror film then the title should be something that sends shivers down ones spine alone. If it’s a Horror/Comedy that a title similar to those you mentioned should be fine…people would then get a laugh out of the title. Personally, I’m a real horror film buff and I find the scary one word titles are usually the ones I see first.
    Also, I was wondering if you could please answer this question?

    on October 22, 2008 at 5:50 pm17 AussieSGFan

    P.S. Oh, and something I still don’t understand about the Wraith. We’ve seen how they reproduce their soldiers, but how about their females, the Queens? I mean, in ‘Instinct’, we saw Ellia(sp?) as a young girl and was told she ate like any human child (until she got older), but somehow I doubt they are born the same way. I mean, she grew up, the soldiers were born pretty much as adults. (er, sorry about length)

    Not just for myself but for everyone at the Wraith Defenders Club. This has been the subject of much discussion this week and we would soak up any further information you can provide us with.

    PS: Thankyou for putting Todd in S5, I love him to death….could you also please put him in the SGA movie??? Pretty please???!?!?!

  54. Hey Joe,

    Whatever happened to the mailbag you promised us this week? And whatever to Brad Wright?

    How about this one:

    Gore Gone Wild

  55. Love the titles, but “Dances With Werewolves” made me laugh so hard!

    Am anxiously waiting for Brad’s interview to show up! 🙂 ~Jess

  56. Hey Joe,

    Speaking of horror movies, do you watch any of the M.Nigh Smalayan movies? (sp) He is my favorite director in that genre. Sixth Sense and Signs are two of his best.

  57. There’s a Vampire Cafe in Tokyo and I missed it???!!!! Dang! Yet another reason to go back there soon…

    Have a great time in L.A., Joe, and good luck on pitching the movie. If the movie is anything like your practice pitch and titles, you should be just fine.

    @maggiemayday: I’m with you on the low-end food! The ryokan have fabulous meals, but most of my favorite places to eat in Japan are cheap-eats noodle shops and food stands. The bento boxes at the train stations are really good, too. But my all-time favorites are the curry chicken roll at the little bakery under the Odawara train station! Little loaves of bread filled with curry goodness. Yum!

    @narelle: I liked your comment the other day about just sitting back and enjoying the rest of the ride for the rest of the SGA episodes. That is exactly what I am doing!


  58. Are you still looking for titles? How about:

    It’s a Wonderful Death
    My Intestines Do Runneth Over
    Satan’s Taxi Driver
    Eyes Wide Open
    License to Be Dead
    The Undertakers Gone Bananas (great book by the way)

    Hope you have a wonderful trip to Japan. Seems to be shaping up to be an event filled working vacation.

  59. Seems like the new horror pics all have flat explanatory titles like Captivity, about captivity, and Touristas, about touristas, and Saw, about sawing limbs off. Worst is probably Quarantine; they could have given it a zippy name like Zombie Quarantine, or just Night of the CDC Recommended Quarantine Facility if they insisted on being so literal.

    My fave titles are “The Shining,” “Silence of the Lambs” and “Candyman.” Lovely, elegant names for scary as heck movies. But “Night of the Living Dead” says it all: pure Zombie action all night long.

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