Fondy and her business partner Shawne left for New York this afternoon where she’ll be attending a week-end long dog expo (or as Paul refers to it, a “Dogxpo”), leaving me to hang with the dogs and generally lie around reading. My horror book club (not to be confused with my scifi book club or my fantasy book club) is reading Stephen King’s Carrie so I’ll need to swing by my local bookstore and pick up a copy. In the event I happen to finish it before Sunday, I’ll also be bringing home George R. R. Martin’s A Clash of King, the follow-up to A Game of Thrones which I loved. And, speaking of loving, I just finished Iain M. Banks’s Use of Weapons. A little confusing at first but what a holy crap ending!
My free weekend will also give me the opportunity to catch up/continue to toy with those email scammers I’ve been corresponding with. Speaking of which, Cookie Monster received the following from a frustrated-sounding James Williams:
how are you?what is the meaning of all this i can not even understand your language i told you simple instruction that you shold make the money send via western union money transfer with the above payment information okay.
RECIEVERS NAME:AIDU YUSUF
CODE QUESTION:HOW ARE YOU?
And do get back to me with the information as soon as uou make the payment send or scan the payment slip for me to see it my self so i can be more sure okay thanks.”
Cookie Monster responded:
“Hey, James Williams still sound confuse and angry. Why? Maybe is because have friend like Grover who come over for dinner party and at end of night instead of walk two blocks back to own house, use Cookie Monster bathroom instead and stink place up? Smell so bad not even Oscar the Grouch stick around…and he live in garbage can! Why Grover no can wait until he at HIS home? Well, Cookie Monster tink Grover know EXACTLY what he doing. Grover very malicious shiter. VERY malicious.
Anyhoo, tanks for information. Me fill out properly now =
SENDERS NAME: COOKIE MONSTER
RECEIVERS NAME: AIDU YUSUF
CODE QUESTION: HOW ARE YOU?
CODE ANSWER: NOT BAD EXCEPT HAVE TO STAY WITH BERT
AND ERNIE FOR THREE DAYS WHILE COOKIE
MONSTER HOUSE AIR OUT BECAUSE ADMIRAL
GROVER LAUNCH LETHAL PIZZA SUB.
AMOUNT: $480 USD
MTCN? I DON’T KNOW WHAT DIS MEAN. IS STAND FOR
MORTICIAN? IF YES, DEN ME STILL DON’T KNOW
WHAT DIS MEAN.
And that, I assumed, was that. After all, the guy would have to be one masochistic idiot to continue contacting me. Well, guess what I found in my inbox a few hours later:
how are you?what is the meaning of all this game you are playing with me are you still intrested in goting your fund or not? and if realy you have make the payment send to the above information can you scan the payment slip giving to you by western nuion office to me now let me that that my self that is all okay.
Cookie Monster happily replied:
“Dear James Williams,
Uh oh. Problem. I look but dere no Western Union on Sesame Street. Only Eastern Union. It run by communists. Instead of send your money, take it and spend on social programs.
What monster to do?
P.S. Tank you for invitation to Games Night at house of James Williams. Is when? Cookie Monster love many games: old maid, crazy eights, hooze your daddy?, tickly cramps, and tender meatballs. Which ones James Williams enjoy?”
In a way, I kind of hope James Williams never gives up. I’m kind of loathe to retire Cookie Monster.
And today’s mailbag –
My Name Is Scott writes: “So, is Teal’c going to sport the same haircut as Christopher Judge is at the moment?”
Promogirl writes: “Would it be too much of a spoiler to reveal if Sam asked Teal’c to come to Atlantis? Seems like she might give her friend a call to help Ronon through a few issues…”
Answer: An interesting stab at it…
PG15 writes: “1. In yesterday’s blog, you said you watched Adrift’s “final mix”; does that mean it’s ready to air on TV? 2. The episode being shot today with the explosions and smoke; it’s “The Kindred”, right? 3. I’d like to clarify a question made by another poster. As both Pegasus Project and Midway are (as you’ve said) big crossover episodes, which episode do you like better? 4. How well does Joe F play the guitar?”
Answers: 1. Almost. 2. Sounds like it. 3. Midway is just a script while Pegasus Project is a finished episode so that’s an unfair question. 4. If you ask him, he’ll say “not very well”.
Anonymous #1 writes: “What were your favorite sci fi shows growing up, and do those influence your writing at all?”
Answer: I couldn‘t pick just one – but the re-imagined Planet of the Apes was certainly a strong contender.
Zabadoo writes: “What, in your opinion, is the worst movie ever made?”
Answer: So many to choose from. For some reason, the last Planet of the Apes comes to mind.
Anonymous #2 writes: “You cancelled out your ‘respectfully’ with your ‘dipstick’ comment. And you wonder why people think you’re a rude arrogant shit.”
Answer: Hey, now that you pointed it out, I guess I DID cancel out ‘respectfully’ with my ‘dipstick” comment. Thanks for pointing that out as I was thoroughly unaware of what I’d done. No one else pointed it out so no one else was aware of it either. Only you – brilliant, brilliant you – was able to use your keen intellect and arrive at this conclusion. You, my friend, are a genius. Dipstick.
Les Fez writes: “I know you said you aren’t talking about season 5 before you get the pick up (I’m sure you will from what I have read about season 4) but do you have a general idea about where all your big season 4 arcs are heading?”
Squonk writes: “Will we be seeing some good Shep/McKay freindship moments this season?”
Firefly 827347 writes: “Joe, you have inspired me to reply to the young woman from the Ivory Coast (…) but we were wondering what you thought about that particular reply?”
Answer: Love it.
Anonymous #3 writes: “How will you blame if season 4 will be the last?”
Answer: I’ll blame okay. You?
Julie Ann writes: “Can I put a link to your blog on mine?”