Miracles of miracles! Just after I’d given up all hope, I received the following email from my old friend Ali –
“Dear Hazzencockle,
Qiute a while ,good to hear from you ,although still on my sick bed i’m still doing better.
Ofcourse your mail sounded a little difiicult but i did pick something off it, I would like you to come straight into this project by providing me the necissary information as regarding your ID’s / address for me to forward you all the documents relating to the fund.
Thanks”
He’s alive! Thrilled, I responded –
“Ali, you‘re back! When I didn’t hear from you, I imagined the worst (ie. Your decrepit corpse lying overlooked on the grounds of some Argentinian teaching hospital, subject to ignominious abuse at the hands of stick-wielding children and angry kangaroos). Thankfully, my worst fears have not been realized and you (and your money) are still out there for me. I can’t tell you how pleased I am to see you’re still clinging to whatever tenuous strand of life you still possess.
I hope you don’t mind, but I gave the go-ahead to start work on our orphan castle. Last week, we finally broke ground on ALI IN THE FAMILY – HOME FOR ORPHANS AND ALOYSIUS P. HAZZENCOCKLE. Unfortunately, because you didn’t get back to me in time, we lost out on the trebuchet (Adam Baldwin got it) and will have to special order the crocodiles if we still want them. They will take 8-10 weeks to ship which means that if we order now, they should get here for late October. How many would you like? I’m thinking about twenty. Any more would be garish and any less would be kind of pointless.
Finally, it really warms my heart to know that we are helping the second neediest of all of God’s creations (lemurs, in my opinion, still hold onto the number one spot). In the words of Celine Dion: “I believe that children are our future”. And bless their industrious little hearts, given the cheap labor contract I’ve just signed with a major sneaker manufacturer, it’ll be rosy future indeed.
Sincerely,
Aloysius P. Hazzencockle”
Some of you have complained about the fact that I’ve ignored your questions and I want to make it clear that it‘s nothing personal. If I‘ve failed to answer your question, it probably has more to do with the question itself than you as a person. As I‘ve stated in previous entries, there are certain queries I will not respond to. Specifically –
1. Questions demanding major spoilers. Who is the father Teyla’s baby? Will John and Teyla get together? How are you planning to bring Beckett back? If I gave you the answer, there would be no point in you tuning in to find out.
2. Questions I have already answered. I realize that not everyone reads my blog every day (And, might I add, shame on you). Nevertheless, I’d prefer to concentrate on queries and comments that have yet to be addressed instead of rehashing old news.
3. Questions that really should be directed somewhere else. I have no control over when T.V. Tazmania chooses to air Stargate, and I have even less control over when the DVD’s are released, who appears on the box set cover, or how the network goes about promoting the show.
4. Detailed questions related to the mythology of either show. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m more than happy to answer a question here and there regarding what has come before and how it all fits into the grand scheme of things, but I tend to skip over queries that will require a two or three page response.
5. Questions related to the actors’ personal lives or behind-the-scenes decisions won’t be answered for obvious reasons.
6. Questions that may seem innocuous enough but, if answered, will require me to divulge spoilers. Also, similar yes/no questions that require me to either confirm or deny that some major event will take place.
7. Questions that I don’t have the answer to simply because we haven’t gotten there yet.
Let’s see how we do today…
Anonymous #1 writes: “Bring back Ford please .. Yes?”
Answer: 2.
J writes: “From previous ads and such, we see that Bill Dow will make an appearance on SGA, Any chance Gary Jones will appear on SGA during season 4?”
Answers: 2 and 2.
Anonymous #2 writes: “If Atlantis is renewed for a 5th season and you continue to air 20 episodes each, the 100th episode would fall into the season 5 finale slot. In your opinion, would you do a comedy style episode like you did in SG-1 or would you rather acknowledge it being the 100th episode in the trailer and have it be a normal action packed season finale?”
Answer: Since it would be a season finale, we would make it a true season finale. BIG.
Anonymous #3 writes: “In Season 4 will there be any more main character deaths like Carson’s?”
Answer: 6.
Nicholas a ecrit: “Vous ètes entrain de tourner quel épisode cette semaine?”
Reponse: Quarantine.
Anonymous #4 writes: “When it comes to naming the Daedelus-class battlecruisers you’ve gone for ancient Greek characters and symbols. IF (and big if it seems) we get to see a new cruiser in seasons 4 or 5, will you continue to name them as such (like the Zeus or the Hephaiston)?”
Answer: 7.
PalmerEldritch writes: “Check out A Game of Thrones if you feel like reading some Fantasy.”
Answer: I’ll be reading it on my way to Comic Con.
Shawna writes: “So, after having finished HP, how does it rank up with the others for you?”
Answer: Goblet of Fire is my favorite followed by The Philosophers Stone and Azkaban. That said, this last one had the best first 100 pages of any book in the series.
Grey writes: “Does the director of the episode look over the scene and say “Agh! Change that!” and hover over the shoulder of the post-production crew, or is it the DP’s job?”
Answer: The director produces his own cut (the director’s cut).
Wynterblue writes: “Ben Browder was originally supposed to play Sheppard on Atlatis? What happened?”
Answer: He was never “supposed to play Sheppard”. His name came up as a possible candidate very early on, but he was too busy with the Farscape mini-series for us to seriously consider.
Lady Dulcinea writes: “Does Fondy read much? What does she enjoy?”
Answer: She enjoys the fiction best-sellers like The Davinci Code. She just started the latest Harry Potter last night.
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