Came across this article today….
— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) October 22, 2021
Which is somehow appropriate given that I had occasion to use the peloton on my recent gym visit because all of the two working treadmills were occupied. I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say it’s the fucking worst. Simply getting on and pedaling is not an option. You apparently have to sign in first and then choose from among a multitude of video lessons, all of which involve some guy in a tank top shouting at you. I assume there must be a “Just fucking bike” option, but I couldn’t find it. The pedals are tiny, more ideal for the feet of an alien grey or an ostrich, and the seat feels like you’re riding a vertical broomstick. One thirty minute ride and you walk out feeling like this guy –
What’s particularly annoying is that the gym was redesigned and removed 3 of its 6 treadmills in favor of 2 pelotons and a rock wall which no one uses. There’s also what I understand is some sort of “massage” machine…
I mean, I have no idea. I’ve seen people straddle it and, while it undoubtedly worked to their satisfaction, I would give the show a PG-13 rating at best.
I used the rowing machine yesterday and while it was much better than the peloton, there’s nowhere to rest your iPhone while you listen to music or podcasts. I also woke up this morning feeling like I’d been worked over my mob enforcers for failing to make the installment payment on an outstanding debt. They really worked the kidneys.
The gym also has a tackle sled which users push up and down the length of the gym, through open space that could have housed a few more treadmills. Don’t get me wrong. I think it’s great for the many, many, MANY people living in my building who are pursuing a professional football career.
Finally, there’s the immense stair climber, a state-of-the-art machine with varied settings that allows you to approximate the sensation of climbing stairs while not climbing actual stairs but taking up precious gym room that could have gone to a couple of more treadmills.
Okay, that’s it for today. I’m off to the gym!