Dis movie about as subtle as Grover at a stripper convention. It take a potentially funny premise, den beat it into de ground wit de most obvious and heavy-handed execution possible. It as if makers of dis film assume audience be so stoopid dey need to make absolutely certain dere be no doubt dis supposed to be a parody. Norbit be a nuanced masterpiece in comparison.
Movie open wit PSA on dangers of toxic waste dumping. We cut to Tromaville, toxic waste dumping capital of de U.S., where a nerd janitor, Melvin work at a health club. “Nerd” actually be too kind. He be a borderline brain dead Urkle.
Melvin get picked on by bunch of health club members who humiliate him, den chase him thru a window. Melvin end up landing in vat of toxic waste, get horribly disfigured and run home.
Once home, he transform – from idiot nerd to big brawny mutant. From dis point, movie just a collection of extended fight sekwences where new-look Melvin beat on thugs, most of who have basic knowledge of kung fu. Along de way, Melvin reskue and fall in love wit a blind girl who move in wit him at toxic dump. Me know, me know. It sound sort of funny. But trust monster. It not.
Movie obviously made at a time when bar for comedy set super low. How low? Well, “hilarious highlights” include: racism, gore, attempted rape, shooting of seeing eye dog, gun pointed at baby, and innocent young boy getting head crushed by a car.
Dey sure not make dem like dey used to. And dat because dey used to make dem real crap.
Verdikt: It have all de makings of a movie so bad it be good, but dis turkey so bad it aktually BE bad.
Rating: 1 chocolate chippee cookie.
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