Crap. No sooner is my “red eye” condition on the mend than I suffer a shoulder injury while working out. “Your muscle is sore,”said Akemi. “That’s good!” No, it’s not the good kind of sore. It’s the “I have to sleep on my back because it hurts when I roll over” and “I’m so stiff I have to turn my entire body instead of just my turning head so I look like a damn robot” sore. On the bright side, I’m a firm believer in the “things balance out in the end” philosophy. Given the way the past few months have gone, I fully expect all three of my shows to get picked up this month!

For months now, Akemi has been going on about the fact that the new Canadian 100 dollar bills smell like maple syrup. According to “sources” at her language school, it’s only the 100’s and they emit the faint scent of Canadian national symbol when the bill is rubbed. Sort of like a scratch and sniff. Despite my attempts to set her straight, she remained adamant, even going so far as to dismiss one of the disappointingly unscented bills I had in my wallet as potentially counterfeit. I put the topic out of my mind until last week when I came across this article:
Apparently, Akemi isn’t the only one who has jumped on the “100 dollar bill smells like maple syrup” bandwagon. As per the aforementioned article, Bank of Canada officials “have repeatedly denied that there is any particular scent to the money”. Interestingly enough, other bills have long been associated with specific scents of Canadiana. The $50 dollar bill, for instance, supposedly smells like salmon. The $20, like bacon. The $10, like poutine. And the $5, like former Prime Minister Sir Wilfrid Laurier’s socks.
Anyway, we were out for dinner the other night and, when my buddy pulled out a $100 to pay for the meal, Akemi snatched it and started sniffing. I explained to situation to my bewildered friend. “She thinks it smells like maple syrup,”I informed him. “It DOES smell like maple syrup!”she insisted, handing me the bill. I sniffed, smelled nothing, and told her as much. “You have to rub the maple leaf,”she said. I wasn’t buying it but decided to humor her, rubbing the leaf before giving it a sniff and – Holy Shit! It smelled like – well, not quite maple syrup – more like chocolate – but pretty damn close! My friend was equally amazed.
Until Akemi pulled out the tube of chocolate lip balm she had secretly applied to the bill while we weren’t looking.
Only a couple of days to go before my sis takes part in the annual Dragon Boat Race in support of The Missing Children’s Network!
Help her out by donating on-line towards One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish at https://secure9.securewebexchange.com/enfant-retourquebec.ca/index.php?lang=en.
Please put her name (Andria Mallozzi) in the message section.




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