No turning back now!  The production machine is rolling along and picking up steam, speeding, faster and faster, toward the precipice that will launch us into glorious flight!  Provided the mechanical wings on this contraption hold firm.  Our European team is gearing up to start shooting in Paris, Berlin, Nice, Marseilles, and the south of France.  To that end, we had a conference call this morning to go over the storyboards for the early episodes.  The guys in France have come up with some terrific car action sequences that, like the ones in the Transporters film series, are fun, inventive, and holy-smokes-impressive!  I suppose this shouldn’t come as a surprise since a number of the key people on our car and fight stunt teams are the same ones who worked on the movies.

When car stunt coordinator extraordinaire Michel Julienne gets into town, I’m just going to start catching a lift with him in the morning.

I figure that’ll allow me to shave about fifteen minutes off my twenty-two minute travel time.

Every so often, I like to check out my site stats – Top Referrers, Top Posts, and, my favorite, Top Search Engine Terms that directed new readers to this blog.  I always find it very interesting.  For instance, here’s a sampling of the Top Search Engine Terms over the past six months…

Search Views
julia benson 59,088
joseph mallozzi 36,572
joe mallozzi 16,013
mallozzi 7,600
joseph mallozzi blog 7,581
elyse levesque 6,252
jennifer spence  5,400
alaina huffman  4,193
mallozzi blog  3,876
batman  2,914
joseph malozzi  1,882
julia anderson  1,766
joseph mallozi  1,751
vanessa james  1,659
stargate blog  1,553
amanda tapping  1,526
julie mcniven  1,450
jamil walker smith  1,047
brian j smith  984
elyse levesque hot  955
louis ferreira  932
jewel staite  895
patrick gilmore  882
joseph mallozzi weblog  865
joe malozzi  839
peter deluise  831
bermuda triangle mystery solved  751
mike dopud  744
david blue  727
malozzi blog  707
stargate universe destiny  706
stargate atlantis  693
leela savasta  693
iron chef chairman  455
michael shanks  454
joseph mallozzi’s blog  433
peter kelamis  428
lexa doig  424
paul mcgillion  416
mint leaves  313
icarus base  288
wraith todd  282
julia benson pictures  267
todd wraith  265
julia benson hot  263
andy mikita  263
stargate destiny model  243
todd the wraith  242
christopher judge  234
chocolate party  223
vanessa james sgu  217
julia benson actress  203
julia benson pics 192
“jennifer spence” 190
mark savela 189
butterscotch schnapps 189
stargate universe shuttle 188
sgu destiny 188
stargate universe julia benson 175 171
julia benson sgu 165
stargate universe chloe 163
vanessa james stargate universe 161
julia benson photos 149
joseph mazzolli blog 149
space shuttle interior 133
stargate atlantis city 131
seed ship 131
blog mallozzi 129
julia benson stargate universe 127
stargate universe ship 117
rodney mckay 117
2nd lt. vanessa james 109
batman pictures 109
destiny gate 109
“elyse levesque” 109
viscous 109
lieutenant james stargate 102
robert picardo 101
brad wright 101
sgu vanessa james 91
stargate universe cast 89
best atlantis episodes 89
stargate atlantis todd 89
ben browder 79
amaretto cream 79
stargate universe ships 71
paul mullie 71
coq au vin 67
carl binder 66
alien ship 55
teryl rothery 54
destiny corridor 54
the chairman iron chef 53
julia benson images 53
peter de luise 53
stargate destiny schematics 53
stargate universe kino 53
stargate destiny bridge 53
kobe beef 53
joe flanigan 51
stargate atlantis gate 50
jaffa stargate 50
julia benson picture 48
florida state cowgirls 48
dr rush 48
leaves 48
butterscotch liqueur 25
snow monkeys 19
fedora hat 15
Carl learns he comes in at 66 searches, beating kobe beef by 53 but falling well short of amaretto cream at 79. Also, for what it's worth, just a shade under "coq au vin".

More people searching the internet came here looking for “Julia Benson” than “Joseph Mallozzi” and “Joe Mallozzi” combined.  Searches for “Batman” (2914) beat out searches for “Patrick Gilmore” (882), “Stargate Atlantis” (693) doubled “mint leaves” (313), while “Joe Flanigan” (51) was trounced by “Brad Wright” (101), “Robert Picardo” (101), and “viscous” (109).

Even more interesting are the daily single digit search engine terms that range from the obscure to the downright bizarre.  Today’s stats yield a unique mix:

Search Views
sucking pig 3
brian j smith girlfriend 2
godzilla tokyo 2
mallozzi fondy divorce 2
janina javankar married or single 1
raccoon lottery 1
leon with pig puppet 1
psych symptoms include speaking in accents 1
confit brain 1
bermuda trapezoid 1

I would assume the first one was supposed to be “suckling pig” rather than “sucking pig”, but the fact that three different search attempts went with “sucking” gives me pause.  It’s nice to know there are people searching for love on the internet, doing their research to ensure their prospective future partners are indeed single: Brian J. Smith, Janina Gavankar, and my ex wife.  Also, I sincerely hope that whoever searched for “psych symptoms include speaking in accents” found the sound medical advice they were looking for here on this blog.  Finally, what the hell is a “raccoon lottery”?

65 thoughts on “May 24, 2011: Transporter: The Series Pre-Production Update! Site Stats!

  1. There definitely does seem to be a Julia Benson and Elyse Levesque theme going on there. And with good reason! Go Julia and Elyse!!

    I guess I’m curious what the “Bermuda Trapezoid” is. Sounds like an idea for an episode of… something.

    Maybe the raccoon lottery is for a license to shoot raccoons? Or maybe the winner gets a free live raccoon every week for life? I dunno.

  2. Unfortunately, I’m still speaking with a Swedish accent. However, I am learning about the new Transporter TV series, so that’s a good thing.

  3. Joe, I admit to being a bit busy lately, and though I’ve breezed over the Q&As, I really haven’t ‘studied’ them. So quick Transporter questions:

    1. Since the movies were action flicks, how do you think they will translate on the small screen? What sort of ‘meat’ are you adding to them?

    2. Isn’t there a chance that the whole package transport plot will grow old after a half dozen eps?

    3. Since this is going to be on a premium cable channel, is it going to be all bouncy tits and slurpy penises like in the current run of cable shows? Or is it *just* going to be uber violent? Hmmm?! (You have to read those questions in the Church Lady voice. 😉 )


  4. I said it back when Joe was in Tokyo the same time as the Caped Crusader… and now when people are searching for the Dark Knight they find their way to Joe’s blog… this just proves it…




  5. I admit I was hypnotized by that car vid!

    And if you mentioned Joe Flanigan more often in your blog, people would be directed here more frequently when doing searches. I know I did a search yesterday and your site popped up because of one of the comments about casting Sheppard. But your site doesn’t usually show up. (I would know, because I do a search almost daily…)

  6. Sure enough, “January 13, 2010: Reclusive Raccoon Wins Powerball Lottery!” comes up for “raccoon lottery”.

    Two questions for you, Joe:

    1. Do you think the cancellation of Stargate has any bearing on ratings of other things on the Syfy channel. I would especially think canceling SGU would adversely affect Sanctuary.

    2. Any suggestions on dining in Montréal, especially with a two year old? I recall m:brgr being mentioned in the past. Last time I remember eating at Arahova, what Greek places do you enjoy there?

  7. I have a great idea for a story. Here goes:

    Some people gather, things happen to them, they do some things, it’s all about the journey, there is no suspense in this story, they all die in the end except they’re not really dead, and there is a pug in it.

    Brilliant, eh? I’m going to pitch it to the large dogs in doggy daycamp tomorrow and see if they’ll fund it.

  8. my blog stats confuse me too, like why is the most popular post usually the one i did about the golden globes during the WGA strike from 2008?

  9. Shoot Joe!! If I knew you were going to put up an All Star Hits List, I would have searched “Jason Momoa” a few hundred times to get him on your list. Could you give me a little advance warning next time?

    Is this your blog or Julia Benson’s?

    I must confess. I went looking for Carl’s name, and I started from the bottom of the list! 😀
    Sixty six is not bad. I’m sorry I doubted him.

    I agree with Deni. Wraith todd, todd wraith, todd the wraitb, stargate atlantis todd = DAS did it.

  10. Now I’m stuck on church lady voices and bouncy tits and slurpy penii. What’s a slurpy penis? Now I’m thinking about frozen blue drinks of unnatural origin from 7-11.

    Damn you all.

  11. @ das – What did you say??!! Number 3. 😯 Holy Mary Mother of God!!! And I’m not even Catholic! 😳

  12. Contrary to popular belief, I have no need to do a search for Todd. I know exactly where he is…

    Isn’t that right, my poppet? *pulls out brush and gently strokes it through long white tangly hair*



  13. PS: Thanks Ponytail! I totally missed that Todd was named in the search 4 – FOUR! – times! That’s four times he bested Flanigan…AND Carl. 😈


  14. Hi Joe,

    I’ve been following your blog since the news of SGU cancellation to read about your Stargate Memories mostly and about news regarding the other projects you and some of the other writers are up to (I’m looking forward to see how “Transporter : The Serie” will turn out).

    Quick question regarding SGU (and Stargate in general)

    I know that in other sci-fi shows (like Star Trek) they usually have a Writer/Director guide made for the show but I can’t seem to find out any on ebay right now for Stargate.

    1) Did Stargate had a similar guide ?

    2) Any chance some of the staff might make it available on e-bay for us fans to buy it ? (or maybe sell it for charity).

    3) Also, do you know which part of the set or props are gonna be destroyed and which are gonna be sold ? I don’t know if this is something that’s possible but I would really love to get my hand on a Kino as a souvenir 😀

    Thanks by the way for the time you’re taking to respond to fans. You’re one of the few in the television world who seem to understand Web 2.0 doesn’t only mean putting more content available out there but it’s also about being able to have a more direct link with the fans.

  15. Hi Joe! You mentioned that Heroes was turned into a two parter unexpectedly. I’m curious, since Heroes was so late in the season, did this bump another planned episode into the next season (if so, which one?), take the place of an episode (if so, what would it have been?), did we get an extra episode that season (Bonus!), etc? Thanks!

  16. Does anybody know what the make/model is of the military back packs with the single sling?

  17. Coucou ça va bien?

    Moi super 🙂 Waou vous travaillez avec beaucoup de français, vous allez pouvoir mieux parler la langue 😉 peut être faire un séjour dans notre beau pays..!

    Waou, vraiment impressionnante la video, c’est un très bon travail!

    Ahaha j’adore le résultat du moteur de y’en a qui sont pour le moins surprenant ! lol

    Aller, gros bisou!

  18. Hi

    I eagerly searched through the list to see if one of the random search phrases I make up as a present for you was there…*pouts* they never are…will have to lift my game.

    Well today’s my birthday…only woke up to one birthday tweet from my sis..had lunch at my parents (Mum started yelling at Dad 🙁 least I didn’t have to work..I haven’t been on here heaps lately so didn’t say anything but I’d really love to hear from y’all.

    Cheers, Chev

  19. Really enjoying the stunt vids Joe…my fave bit there was the massive semi trailer on half its wheels – OMG! Plus the precision driving criss-cross – too cool…awesome stuff Michel…if you do get a lift to work with him, pack extra underwear.

    Cheers, Chev

  20. Happy birthday Chev!

    Yeah, that stunt reel is pretty great. My faves…

    Flipping the Vespa (sounds dirty, doesn’t it?)
    The last bit grabbing onto the cargo net
    Two-wheeling the car into the house & parking it

    As for the powerslide parallel parking, that’s not so hard to do. I’ve done it myself. Um, in Burnout Paradise. But I’m pretty sure that counts.

  21. hoo boy! After today’s blog conversation, I can’t wait to see what the next round of search terms is going to be!

  22. Michel Julienne must have the most fun job in the world. How much math goes into figuring out how to crash cars?

    Do you think I could get my sons to do their math homework by hyping the math/vehicle stunt coordinator link?

  23. Regarding Michel Julienne, I think he is the son of the infamous Rémi Julienne. The guy performed all James Bond car stunts in the 80s and 90s (the car cut in 2 in A View to a Kill).
    That family is very skilled and usually safe.

  24. Congrats on Vancouver making it to the finals, that’s some fine shooting. If it couldn’t be the Penguins or Flyers then I’m glad it’s the Canucks.

    Those car stunts made my undercarriage hurt. Cool stunts.

  25. More q’s:
    1. There was like ~50 people that went to Atlantis on the first mission, how many were there by the end? (i ask because they always had the entire city lit up)
    2. What happened to the Sekkari? Did they finally start growing on their new world?
    3. Did the “tower” (from ‘The Tower’) have an Ancient name? Also what was its function there, science outpost, weapons development, or was it a newly constructed city-ship that was abandoned before it was completely finished and allowed to fly away?
    4. We know the Asgard has sublight-only ships 30,000 years ago and that they had interstellar hyperdrives at least 10,000 years ago, when exactely did they meet/alliancify with the ancients, did the ancients leave a presence in the milky way all those millions of years while in pegasus?

  26. @Chev7 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

    You can imagine me singing to you – no, don’t, stop, it’ll hurt your ears!

  27. Joe,

    That is hilarious! Carl looks pissed. I am laughing in the library and people are staring at me

  28. Wooow, I’d give a lot for a practical training with a stunt coordinator and/or stuntmen doing such awesome stuff. Or you know, looking over their shoulders while they do their jobs =D. Really cool. I really wonder if some of the motorbike guys were injured, some of that stuff looks plain painful. Thank you for that video.
    And I really laughed at the sucking pig search…. hahaha, still laughing…

  29. Happy birthday Chev7!

    Joe, why do you assume they were checking the marital status of Fondy and not you? Hmm?

    Nor did you answer my question about you dating furries.

    Can’t wait for the series. Seems exciting. Please though, if it has to have penises/penii? (lol Margaret), I don’t know what slurpy ones are, but please no.

    For faster travel times, fork over about $190,000 for this, a flying car:

  30. Hi Joe!

    Can you give me a birthday shout-out? It’s been 3 years since I’ve started reading your blog! Thank you for your entertaining posts 🙂


  31. Das…(cough)….my goodness, what have you been watching?

    Bouncy tits and slurpy bits? Do tell. Definitely do tell.
    We may be located at the bottom of Africa, but we have a big… (ahem) satellite dish and know how point it. 😀

    Chev. Happy Birthday for yesterday. I think you are in Oz land, but I may be mistook. Ether way, may every day from now on be fantastic.

    A final note, doesn’t everyone do powerslide parallel parking? It’s great, especially during a torrential downpour. 🙂

  32. I agree with the above consensus that Das did ALL the Todd searches.

    What did you do to Mr. Carl?

    The car chases were cool! I’ve watched the Transporter movies before. I’ve always been intrigued that Frank calculates the weight of the car before he does a stunt. I especially love the revolving license plate!

    Is Bam-Bam working on Transporter the series?

    Storms are decimating the South and we have a round aimed at us tonight. Building a storm shelter may be on our “to do” list.

  33. Some of those search names sound somewhat questionable as to why people would even need to type that.

    So almost 3000 people typed in Batman to come to your blog Joe? I had no idea you were Batman lol

    Okay, joking aside, some of those sound like random fans searching for info on their fav character/actor/actress, the huge amount of Julia Benson searches sounds rather erm, questionable.

    Anyway, kinda suffering from Flu symptons here, horrible, headaches and a sore throat that wont go away, kinda sucks lol

  34. :LOL: @ Mark Savela Thanks Mark, I needed the laugh! 🙂

    Heya Joe! *hugs Joe* I’m not an MS Excel wizard (anyone?), but if you dumped your stats into an Excel file, you could select all (with *mouse,* so as not to select 11 empty pages), and hit the Sort button at the top, for either ascending or descending Alpha order. There is a way to merge the totals, too, but I don’t remember it.

    Glad to see the hits for Paul McGillion! 😀 ‘T’weren’t from me, but that made me smile, too. Hey… Pauly taped Patrick Gilmore’s latest installment of Laptop Chat, on YouTube. Another big grin. And Gilmore made him promise to join Twitter if the video gets 10,000 hits. That would be a big hoo-rah! for me. Paul is a classy, hunky guy. 😀

    DAS!!! I’m still blushing!!! I think you better let Mr. Das buy that Albino wig after all, cuz grrrrl….! You got it bad. 🙂

    Hi Carl! See what you came back just in time for? LOL. Please pop in and sass Joe and Alexander once in a while? We miss you around here. Hey, besides your Transporter script, what other projects are you working on?

    Joe, we are hooked on Transporter here at home. Coincidentally, I watched them in reverse order, as they became available. Then I said, “Mom, come watch what Joe is up to.” Now we’re watching them in sequential order, and catching some of the gags repeated from the previous movie. [A surprise guest at the front door…] “What? I’m the cook!” :LOL:

    Have to say though, it’s going to be strange seeing Transporter without Jason Statham in the lead role. He is so good! He’s perfectly qualified for the job, with killer martial arts skills, stunt work, and exhilarating stunt driving skills. And he’s got the chops to play an iceman with both a heart and a conscience.

    The other thing is it will seem odd for the Transporter to have an assistant. Frank Martin is an ex-military, special forces guy. They’re trained to get in & get out with surgical accuracy. They don’t need anybody but themselves. That makes Frank a perfect loner, right? The drama and conflict come from Frank’s interaction with people. If you put a layer of insulation, an assistant, between Martin & the unstable people he deals with, you water down the drama & conflict. The pivotal plot points in the movies come when Frank is forced to break one of his Rules, which are always necessitated by his interaction with people.

    Just a thought, anyway. I miss everybody! It’s been a crazy spring here, and a happy/sad event watching the close of the Stargate franchise. Hugs to all…


  35. @chevron7,,,,Happy Birthday !!!

    ,Those car stunts are amazing, How many cameras will they have to set up to catch all that action? cool..
    Give Carl some chocolates and macarons, maybe will help cheer him up, and I will go do some searches for him to help his count…make it like a Binder nation.

  36. Joe, with production in France, does this mean that maybe you’ll take your foodie vaca in Paris this year?


  37. While I loved Chris Vance in “Mental” I would have really loved to see Jason Stratham be the lead in the Transporter series.
    1. Was there any attempt made to secure him for the role?
    2. Will the series be available on Itunes?
    3. Do you think if it does well the next season will the more episodes (20)?

    Now for the Stargate questions:
    Disclaimer: I’m a huge Sam/Jack shipper
    1. Was there any attempt to “ship” Cam and Sam together? (I’ve heard there was supposed to be a kiss in “Ripple Effect” between them and you nixed it plus the cookies and kiss in AoT)
    2. Why didn’t Jack get got at least a mention in “Unending”? (he was the star of the show for 8 years and Daniel’s, T’s and Sam’s best friend)
    3. Why wasn’t Sam/Jack confirmed in “Continuum”?
    please be sincere:
    4. Do you think Sam/Jack would have been confirmed in the 3rd movie or ever?

  38. Joe, can you tell us, how many shuttles were on the Destiny originally? There were two of them when the crew arrived, but there is a third landing area, which is empty.

  39. To clarify…

    I have not seen any of the HBO productions to which I refer…I’m just going by what the guys on another forum say about said programs…and naughty bits…and sound effects.


  40. Hi,

    Q: After using Tretonin for so many years, did Teal’c became weaker? Because in SG-A i really didn’t believe he couldn’t take down Ronon.

  41. June 2, 2011: Perhaps the “racoon lottery” search turned up “raccadillo” instead? Or was that on an older incarnation of this blog?

  42. “I guess I’m curious what the “Bermuda Trapezoid” is. Sounds like an idea for an episode of… something.”

    The Bermuda Trapezoid was featured in an old Disney “Talespin” episode. I am both proud and ashamed that I know this….

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