We’ve started interviewing for a Script Coordinator/Exec. Producers’ Assistant, partly because Ashleigh refuses to upend her life for us by moving to Toronto (Selfish, no?), but mainly because we don’t like the attitude of our present temp Script Coordinator, Alexander M. Ruemelin.  Instead of embracing these new and exciting (albeit unpaid and time-consuming) duties as part of a wonderful learning experience, Alex, instead, chooses to complain about them (ie. “I really should be working on my outline instead of proofreading your blog entries.”).  And so, we are casting a wide net in our search for the perfect Script Coordinator/Exec. Producers’ Assistant, meeting with ALL THREE potential candidates.  We’re looking for someone with script coordinating experience (working with Movie Magic Screenwriter in particular), someone who is tech savvy (we’re computer unsavvy, with the exception of Alexander who considers our devotion to Mac OUR problem), and someone who is able to fit in.  The latter is of chiefest important.  I evaluate a prospective candidate’s relative “fit in-itness” by gauging their responses to a few curveballs I threw their way during the interview:

ME: So, I see you have experience as a script coordinator.

CANDIDATE: Yes.  I’ve worked with both Final Draft and Movie Magic Screenwriter.

ALEX: Things will get crazy here.  We’re a co-production with Canadian, American, French, AND German partners.

ME: So we’re going to need you to brush up on your French and German before you start on Monday.

CANDIDATE: Uh, okay.

PAUL: Would you say you’re also knowledgeable with computers?

CANDIDATE: Yes.  Both PC and Mac.

ME: What is your greatest weakness?

CANDIDATE: Um, German. (“I care too much” or “I’m a perfectionist” would’ve been acceptable responses as well).

PAUL: Your position may require you to get lunches for the writers.

CANDIDATE: I’m fine with that.

ME: Your position may also require you to occasionally drain my pet baboon’s anal glands.

CANDIDATE: That’s fine.  I have experience with that.

ME: Great.  Well, thanks for coming in.

In addition to holding a couple of interviews, we also sat down with our head of transport to discuss European cars – specifically, police cars and trucks (because, apparently, the trucks in Europe look completely different from the trucks here in North America).  I also got the opportunity to rewrite a whopping 1.5 pages of the second script.  At this rate, I should be done by the day we complete production on the episode.

Well, the big Transporter summit concluded yesterday with everyone heading back to their respective home bases to regroup, decompress, and discuss my affinity for animal-theme cufflinks.  Among those who attended…

Julien - who gets bonus marks for also being a Stargate fan.

Julien – ready to hit the road.
Alexander – Almost all smiles after two days of meetings.

Thanks for coming, all.  Next time, your place?

Tomorrow, I offer those promised thoughts on The Hunt.

43 thoughts on “April 14, 2011: The search for a Script Coordinator/Exec. Producers’ Assistant Begins! The Transporter Summit Concludes!

  1. I could have given those answers, too, and totally lied about most of it, but my charming personality would have gotten me the job. LOL. And I would have told you how much I loved dogs and would be available to dog sit any time. I’d just rent a room from Patrick’s godfather who now lives in Kingston.

  2. How’s the casting side of The Transporter going Joe? I realise you can’t say any names or anything, but is it going well? Like do you have ideas as to who you want for each character?

  3. Things look like they are shaping up.. can’t wait for this new series. 🙂

    Oh and can you also give an update on the Stargate front tomorrow. 🙂

    Thanks 🙂

    Major D.

  4. Well, I think “The Hunt” set back my recovery by a few days. I finally got a chance to see it this week. I was suppose to be lying down, but by the end of the episode I was sitting up, huddled in a blanket, and having heart palpitations wondering who next was going to get shredded. Having seen so many critter films in the past, I really didn’t think I could be surprised. But thanks to you, I was terrified.

    I had promised to be back at work on Friday, but evidently I have a minor infection that is hindering my sinuses from healing as they should. Still bleeding a little. But I’m feeling much better and looking forward to having a nose that actually works.

    With the time off, I’ve been feeling the need to do something creative again, and decided to go back to a project I did back in 2003 called “Voices in the Woods”. It’s a living history play we did in Franklin Canyon, where I had a “guide” walk folks to locations with volunteers playing the parts of Henry David Thoreau at our pond, Rachel Carson at our lake, and John Muir at our redwood tree. It was really well received but incredibly difficult to present. I’ve spoken to our volunteer director about it and she seems very enthusiastic. I’m hoping to resurrect it for a summer presentation. But I was horrified to realize that I had typed the script on diskette from an old 1999 emachine, which I sadly no longer have. Now I’ve got to retype it, and I was wondering if you know of an easy and cheap software for script formatting.

    Also, if you’re doing another mailbag:

    1) Will Transporters be as post production heavy as SGU or Atlantis was?

    2) Is there a date by which you have to have the first episode in the can?

    3) How many episodes are being produced?

    4) What network will be airing it?

    5) Will entire episodes be filmed in Europe, or are only different segments being shot there?

    Hope the home front improves. I can’t imagine how tough it must be never feeling like you can just relax. Also hope the pups and Akemi are okay.

    @PBMom Been catching up on tweets. Hope you’re ok.

  5. I was woken up at 7:00 AM by Joe this morning with a question I had answered last week via email. When I thought he was done responding he had found his answer…but he obviously became distracted.

    Good luck to the rookie…at least you are getting paid.

  6. So I’m coming to Toronto what time is my interview?? I will take almost any job!!

    Just kidding. I get to visit the hospital at 10:30 then look for that burger place you mentioned a few enttries ago. But alas will be eating alone since no one wanted to come with me 🙁

    After lunch I’m on the hunt for a French rolling pin.

    Hope your day is more exciting then mine will end up being.

  7. *waves to Ashleigh*

    We miss you!!! Come work for Joe! If he won’t pay you, maybe he’ll make you cookies or something.

  8. ASHLEIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *glomps* 😀

    We miss you terrible! Wait. I’m not saying you are terrrible, but that we miss you terribLY. Whew. Didn’t want you to get me confused with Joeykins. 😉

    @ kirsten – Those pugs are ADORABLE!! Thanks for sharing!

    Joe – I asked you the other day who Whiner Sock Guy was based on, but reading your blog entries lately I sorta figured out who. 😉

    @ Akemi – With all you do around the house, please tell me that Joey doesn’t make you take off his socks, too.


  9. Joe were you kidding about the trucks looking different in Europe? Because they really do.

    Also, will you have right-hand drive cars on the show?

  10. I think I would be a better candidate than your candidate. Just look at my wonderful answers to those same questions!

    ME: So, I see you have experience as a script coordinator.

    CANDIDATE: Yes. I’ve worked on padding my resume with both Final Draft and Movie Magic Screenwriter because I know that’s what you are looking for.

    ALEX: Things will get crazy here. We’re a co-production with Canadian, American, French, AND German partners.

    ME: So we’re going to need you to brush up on your French and German before you start on Monday.

    CANDIDATE: Magyar is! Gaelach ró! Ich spreche kein Deutsch! Je ne parle pas Français! Hola, amigo! Pretty good, eh?

    PAUL: Would you say you’re also knowledgeable with computers?

    CANDIDATE: Yes. I can break them as well as the next guy – both PCs and Macs.

    ME: What is your greatest weakness?

    CANDIDATE: Weakness? My right hook. Want a demonstration?

    PAUL: Your position may require you to get lunches for the writers.

    CANDIDATE: Lazy *@#&!. What? You think I’m your mother or something?

    ME: Your position may also require you to occasionally drain my pet baboon’s anal glands.

    CANDIDATE: That’s fine. Particularly since I know you don’t have a pet baboon, and if you do get one, then drain them yourself (see previous response).

    ME: Great. Well, thanks for coming in.

    CANDIDATE: So when do I start?

    Except, of course, for the “no way am I moving to Toronto or anywhere else back east” thing. I can telecommute, though. 🙂

  11. @kirsten: That is SO adorable. Maddie does that too with her head (golden retriever), but to multiply it by 3 — cuteness galore. I guess the one dog doesn’t want to go to the park, huh?

  12. @Paloosa I was inquiring about you a few Joe blog entries ago. Sinus surgery and they had you laying down?? That doesn’t sound right. I had to sleep upright until they took the nasal splints out. Hope you are feeling better and on the road to recovery.

    @Ashleigh We really, really miss you. Are you sure you can’t move to Toronto?

  13. I see from “The Hunt” that you managed to work a slaughtered animal into your script. What, no foie gras?
    What Rush did isn’t funny. Was it supposed to be? It was him being a Class-A Dick again. Was he able to tell whether Brody or Eli was in the chamber based on his display (before he radioed Eli)? That’s a callous, reckless disregard for lives. And he was so cool last week, when he discovered Amanda’s duplicity, like he understood what drives people to some acts of desperation. But this week? Back to being a manipulative a-hole.
    One step forward, two steps back.

  14. You need a Script Coordinator to be willing to move to Toronto? This is the year 2011. We don’t need none of that old-fashioned proximity. Take down the pneumatic tube system. Google docs, Skype, Fuze meeting. I guarantee you Movie Magic Screenwriter has awesome online collaboration tools. Join us in the cloud. What does a Script Coordinator do exactly?

    Hey, that last question, would spacing out while I try to come up with a joke, then saying “I got nothing” be the fit – inny answer you were looking for? I could totally do that.

  15. Mr. Mallozzi,

    Just found this on tvshowsondvd.com: http://www.tvshowsondvd.com/news/Stargate-Atlantis-The-Complete-Series/15254

    They say “the studio” confirmed it. Was wondering if you knew, and if it was really true? The announcement is surprising as last month tvshowondvd.com posted a story (http://www.tvshowsondvd.com/news/Stargate-Universe-The-Complete-Final-Season/15164) that SGU Season 2 was to be DVD only, no Blu-Ray, when Season 1 was released on both.

    Could the sales of such a Blu-Ray complete set help finance future SG1/SGA/SGU movies? (probably a Brad Wright question. Might you be able to inquire of him for your blog-reading public?)

    Thank you for all your Stargate updates . It is much appreciated. “Break a leg” in Toronto with the new show!


  16. @Vigs: Actually I kind of thought that when Rush realized Brody was in the chamber, he activated the controls to put him in stasis from his console (that it wasn’t anything Brody or Eli did). Could be wrong though.

  17. I finally saw “The Hunt” yesterday – and loved it. Good points:

    1. It was wonderful, that so many characters were involved.
    2. Loved the Rush/Eli/Brody-thing
    3. Loved to see TJ’s tough side again.
    4. The beast and the fact that it is intelligent and obviously recognizes the intelligence of its prey and therefore lets it go are great.
    5. Greer showed a different – more vulnerable – side of himself. I also liked, that he put in a good word for Varro.
    6. The Volker/Park/Greer interaction was touching. Poor Volker!
    The missing scenes about TJ’s background were wonderful and I would have loved to see them on screen. Hopefully there will be an opportunity to include them in a movie/novel/DVD or whatever else there might come. I am very glad you showed them to us, it was a real treat.

    Anything I did not like so much? Actually yes. Several people were killed and at least 2 of Varro’s people vanished while they were tracking the beast. There was very little mention of the killed people. Were they worth less than the senator at the beginning, or Riley later on? And what about the vanished people? No mention of them at all. It is very well possible they are not dead either, but taken to a lair like TJ. Many animals here on earth have more than one cave/lair/hide-out, so maybe those predators do too. Those 2 people could still be out there somewhere waiting to be rescued. It reminded me a bit of Star Trek’s expandable “red-shirt”-people. You always knew they would die, but nobody really cared.
    But I am aware, that this is nitpicking and overall the episode is great and I enjoyed it very much.

    And because so many people seem to prefer season 2 over 1 I have to say, that I love the more depressing, gloomy and less action-driven episodes of the first season very much and it was what actually made me fall in love with SGU. And so did my best friend and my husband (hubby actually likes the first season better than the second). So, not everybody is of the opinion that the second season is better than the first and not everybody likes to always get the “lighter” stuff. A good mix (with a dominant gloomy side) is what I like best.

  18. Everyone misses Ashleigh. You actually woke her up at 7:00am, Joe? I am not a morning person. I would have been very unpleasant until I’ve had my caffeine.

    I’ve used both of those programs. How long ago I don’t remember. I’m sure you’ll find someone suitable and good, just like Ashleigh.

  19. *pokes head in*. Good Lord! How long have I been lost in the Twitterverse and Castlemania?! Apparently long enough to miss my chance at a Toronto job that would need my German skills. 😉

    All well here, still working with shy dog Sebastian at ADL of Texas.

  20. I don’t suppose you could tell us who you cast as TJ’s family and her younger selves could you?

  21. Just a few more thoughts, that occured to me, while watching it again.

    Best line:””I can’t believe this. You are making her work, she is injured.” “Yes, her ribs, not her brain”. But it was a close one, as there are many funny lines in that episode.

    Was what Rush did with Eli and Brody just a prank? No doubt Rush found it quite funny (as did I), but it seemed to me, his main agenda was to teach them a lesson – which they deserved. Although I agree with Eli, that they should have more of a say, when it comes to decision making.

    Why do I think Varro is the better match for TJ? Don’t misunderstand, I like Young (except when he is an unreasonable ass to Rush), but I don’t have the impression that he loved TJ at the time they had an affair. I think it really was just an affair to him at that time and he did choose to return to his wife afterwards (whatever does he see in Emily? – I will never understand) and drop TJ. Only after Emily went through with the divorce did he remember TJ and now all of a sudden he seems to develop real feelings for her, but only as a second choice. It seems to me, that Varro noticed what an extrodinary person she is and fell in love with her for being so special. A much better foundation for a lasting relationship in my eyes. Also when TJ lost her baby Varro was there for her and Young wasn’t. You may argue, that Young could not comfort TJ, as he was going through his own grief. Maybe. Fact remains, that Varro did offer comfort, when Young hardly even acknowledged his child. Nor did he apologize for forcing TJ to come back to Destiny, when she wanted to stay on the Eden-planet for the sake of her child. Now we know, that would have killed them, but he could not know that then and had no right to force her, especially the way he did it by emotionally blackmailing her. Yeah, I feel sorry for Young somewhat, but not nearly as much as for Volker or Rush or Eli.

  22. Looks like you owe Ashleigh a nice dinner the next time you are back out west. As for personal errands, I would require a potential employee to be able to milk my yaks daily and produce fresh cheese each day. Though I admit anyone who could drain a baboon’s anal glands can handle anything you could throw at them. Indeed, they would probably be overqualified. Good luck finding a good fit, and will you be warning them beforehand how they will become the subject of interest for dozens, if not hundreds, of people scattered about the globe?
    Also happy to see how happy you seem to be on the new job. I hope some of this translates into some contentment on the living situation, which has to eventually stabilize. Don’t forget to keep us updated on the doggies, and enjoy the upcoming weekend.

  23. Re Rush: funny, I didn’t see Rush in “The Hunt” in the same way as Vigs did. I think that Rush understood exactly what the panel was showing and what the boys were up to. Since most of the ship had not been explored, it was a good lesson to teach them to be cautious. I got the impression that while he expected the stasis chamber to unfreeze and release Brody, he was pleasantly surprised that it did work and found it “interesting”—> Which probably led him to another thought occurring…. the stasis chamber could be used to put someone out of commission as long as needed…

    Don’t know if that will happen in the last episodes… which is why we need the story to go on. It’s just getting too interesting.

  24. Robert Carlyle: While he did not have much to say, this episode, his expressions spoke volumes… love that man! I like that little thing he does with his head when he had a conversation with Volker about being romantic.

    Question for the mailbox: Robert Carlyle has not been heard of since the cancellation notice. Has there been any word or opinion from him. Does he keep in touch with anybody in SGU?

  25. Gilder: Since you studied spanish, can you tell me what “Podemos” means? I’m learning some spanish and podemos keeps coming up. BUT when I look it up in a translator I can’t find it. Thank you, in adavance.

    Pet baboon’s anal glands? I’m not sure you COULD pay me enough 🙂 . I noticed that you didn’t exclude vegans.

  26. Well I would actually be the perfect candidate but unfortunately I’m too busy at the moment for this kind of work. But I guess for you Joe, I could quite my important high paying jobs and leave my big mansion and go work for you. So when do I start? …Oh wait I have to be knowledgeable with Mac??? I actually left an editing job because of this! I can’t make heads or tails of it. I guess in order for me to take the job now I would have to be paid double what I get already plus the car the main hero of the show drives. You can throw in a zat gun or two.

    But seriously, that summit, are they all writers? Are they a team of writers or different departments, I think you said you guys would be shooting in Europe as well, who coordinates all that? Are you gonna be on location?

  27. @Tammy Dixon

    Podemos is a sort of mistranslation of “Yes we can”

    My understanding is that it’s a play on the Obama campaign slogan that many soccer fans shout out nowadays to cheer on their teams.

    I think “Si, podemos” would mean “yes, it can be done” so “podemos” by itself is like saying “it can be done” but the intent seems to be like if you were yelling out to your favorite team “We can do it!”

    Try not to think of Rob Schneider 😉

  28. I was curious about your interview process and what skills you were looking for in future staff. Thanks for informing me. Now I know to put baboon care on my list of skills so that I may look more attractive to future employers.

  29. Oh, I know what Rush was doing, it was deliberate. I’m asking if he could tell whether it was Eli OR Brody in the chamber at the time. (I couldn’t read his screen that quickly.)
    I don’t think they needed to be taught a lesson. Unless Rush was smarting from Eli shutting down the consciousnesses (?) the week before and had to reassert his authority by pissing on the crew again.
    It just felt like a mean thing to do. Which felt like retro-Rush.

  30. Cool shelves! Thanks for the link, das. I would go with yin yang in my living room. But I really like the pod.

    You put Nuada here too? You’re killin’ me! (by the way, it’s not just the hair – watch that video again and tell me you’re only looking at the hair).

  31. Hope you can find someone good; I’m sure there is a film grad in a squalid cold water flat who escaped from a Benelux orphanage to follow his or her dream of being a script coord. You can set up deliveries of standing orders for lunch in the interim; you’d have to be able to plan your lunches out ahead of time, tho I’m guessing you guys like to plan lunches at the spur of the moment. There’s something nice about knowing Friday is pizza day for example, and having it all charged to an account so you never have to call, they just show up with the grub and its one less thing to worry about.

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