Moving to a new place always requires a bit of a readjustment.  Many of the aspects of your last home that you grew to know and love may be different, if not altogether  non-existent, in  your new home.  Things like roominess, grass, or a comfortable bed.  Sure, you can focus on the negatives – “It’s a miserable city”, “The people aren’t friendly”, or “Driving around is hell” – but why not focus on the positives instead: “The parking spaces are bigger than the ones in Vancouver!”?  Why not?  Well, for one – complaining is much more satisfying…

I’m not “one of those teenagers who’s always playing their rock and roll music ’til all hours of the night” that Carl Binder complains about.  So why is the volume lock on my television set so low?  At maximum, I can barely hear the t.v. if someone is talking loudly outside the door of my apartment – and not at all if someone is taking a shower.

After my third morning in a row boiling water in a pot for my morning green tea, I wished I had a kettle. Well, seconds letter "wish granted" when Akemi pulled this out of the bottom drawer. Unfortunately, I failed to wish for the accompanying cord that would allow me to plug it into an electrical outlet.

"Hey, Phil, have you seen my headless, armless dummy? Oh. Here is is!"

I hate modern art as much as the next guy, but this makes it too easy.

Speaking of new places, we switched writers’ rooms today – leaving the dark, airless environment of the old writers’ room for the bright, noisy, somewhat chilly environment of the new one.

The sun! It burns!!!

Inspired by the change in location, we finished breaking episode 3, started breaking episode 4, had another conference call to discuss the European shoot, and even found time to eat some chipotle-chicken burritos.  How’s that for prolific?

Rob pitches.
Carl tries to stay warm.
Alex, living the dream.

Tonight, went to check out two new possible Toronto homes – the first cold and cramped, the second old and possibly haunted.  Two more on tap for tomorrow night.

Fondy reports Jelly and Maximus have settled in comfortably at her place.

Hopefully not too comfortably.

Tomorrow afternoon, Jelly and Maximus go in for their “assessment” at St. Roch’s School for Gifted Canines.

They’re gonna look so cute in those uniforms!

35 thoughts on “March 24, 2011: Hey, Phil, have you seen my headless, armless dummy? Oh. Here is is!

  1. Oh Joe!! You make me sad.
    Cheer up things have to look up sooner or later, right??

    If I were to add a complaint word press seems to have employed a new mobile version that I’m not thrilled with. If I make a mistake and don’t notice it doesn’t let me select an area. I have to backspace the whole thing. I’m using my iPad and can’t “x” out of when it tries to auto correct which is why wordpress was one word. Just figured out how to trick it. Yeah me!!

    A fix for your tv would be to manually adjust the tv not just the digital terminal (in case you haven’t tried that but doubt you haven’t cause you are one smart cookie)

    Glad to know the the puppies are adjusting at least.

    Have a good night.

  2. Hell, I’d just move back in with Fondy. Nice place!

    And that’s some serious matcha you have there. I usually only get it in small packages. Joe, have you ever participated in a traditional tea ceremony?

    I do hope you find a good place soon. Keep looking! Are you looking to buy, or rent? I guess if you’re looking to rent it might be harder finding the right place in the right location. I do not envy you your situation. I hate being unsettled. Of course, you could incorporate the experience into a story someday, a sort of Sullivan’s Travels where you’re a producer who goes on the road disguised as a tramp to learn about life, only to have a rude awakening in Toronto. Hmmmm…Joel McCrea – J.M. – Joseph Mallozzi…SEE?? It all connects. 🙂


  3. Your new writer’s room looks more like a hospital waiting room or a jail holding cell. You know your new building there is haunted, don’t you? They just filmed a Silent Hill sequel there, right? (I love that movie btw) Don’t be surprised if weird things start happening.

    Are you taking pictures of your house hunting? We want to play House Hunters with you. You show us pictures of at least 3 homes you are considering, and we pick the one we think you will choose based on your personality and stated needs. Loads of fun!

    I hope that new doggie-day-care-academy doesn’t change your dogs. I’d hate to see them get snobby and all full of themselves. But, I hope Lulu makes cheerleader!

  4. “the second old and possibly haunted.”

    Did you say “haunted”? Buy that house quick, as the SyFy channel will definitely want you to do a 20 season “ghost” show series… Lmao. 🙂

  5. I would go for the cold room with sunshine versus the warm room without sunshine. Jeff loves his man-cave. It drives me nuts. I’m always going around pulling the miniblinds all the way up, and he hates when I have the front office’s curtain pulled over so I can see outside (and people can see in and have desires of stealing my computer equipment per him). I NEED to see sunlight. If I don’t, I get depressed quite easily.

    Any word on Jelly’s UTI?

    While Jelly and Maximus get schooled, I’ll be finally getting around to going to the nephrologist. Another “ist.” I’m always that “interesting” patient for them. “Thank you for referring this very interesting patient.” LOL. More like “weird” or “body has a mind of its own.”

  6. I couldn’t help but notice you blurred out that piece of paper behind Rob but failed to blur out his wedding ring. Now everyone knows he’s married. Kiss that most eligible Canadian writer title goodbye.

  7. I don’t know, Joe. I’m kinda’ diggin’ the modern art.
    (And, as someone who’s moved 13 times in the last 25 years, I’ll say, “Just hang in there. It’s sure to get better!”

  8. I was going to comment, but now I am just going to LOL at Ponytail’s post instead. I think Lulu would make a wonderful cheerleader and the boys would be great football players.

  9. Yes, I agree with you about the apartment. It’s the little things that get you down.

    Fondy’s house is starting to look like a rescue center. Which is awesome in my world!!!!!

    Thanks for the laughs this morning. The dogs will look cute in their uniforms 😀 .

  10. I hope you find a place soon–I hate feeling unsettled as well.

    And tv volume–well, that’s a whole other story. Have you ever watched tv and had to turn the volume way up when the show was on and then get BLASTED when the commercials come on?? Syfy is especially guilty of this, but other networks have done it too. One of hubby’s and my pet peeves.

    Well, hope your day is just as productive as it was yesterday.

  11. Ahh….the Toronto parking spaces *are* awesome! Definitely a bonus!

    I drive either a large SUV or my husbands impossibly large pick-up (like every other person in Alberta) and always have to park at the fringes of the parking lot just so I can open my doors without banging into someone. Toronto parking was a dream 🙂

  12. Looks to me like you’re doing ok for the moment Joe, keep hanging in there! Another bright side, apartment is temporary and at least you have found houses to look at and decide. Personally, the haunted ones wouldn’t bother me unless things were flying through the air when I opened the door. That was always annoying.

  13. 55555, some funny stuff. “every new beginning comes from some other new beginning’s end.”

    Once you get that palatial estate and all settled in things will come around.

  14. I still have something warm to send, as soon as you can release a PO box or studio address.

  15. WTH with the dummy?

    ::: So why is the volume lock on my television set so low? At maximum, I can barely hear the t.v. if someone is talking loudly outside the door of my apartment – and not at all if someone is taking a shower. ::::
    Joe, if our power goes off, we have to manually turn the sound up on the cable box to max, THEN the tv will go on high. Otherwise, I need a hearing aid. Not sure if your cable box has a sound button, but try it because the remote controls the tv sound, not the box on any I have had.

  16. Upon further inspection – and reflection – I find your dummy rather disturbing (you kinky bastard, you!).

    And the modern art? Equally as disturbing.

    I liked it better when you were all nerdy and stuff back in Vancouver with your supervillain figures and Asian schoolgirl fetishes. Now you’re in Toronto, and suddenly I’m getting serious serial killer vibes here. It’s like…it’s like now your Evil AU Joey…all you need is a mustache and goatee. 🙂


  17. Detective time. We want the story behind that dummy. And I’ll pay ten bucks for the modern art. I can find some schmuck to buy it for 20….here’s hoping things get better for you, and that you can find a level of contentment outside the workplace in Toronto.

  18. @So why is the volume lock on my television set so low?

    Probably just a really old TV Joe thats on its way out lol, I’ve only found lowish volume for some programs on HD channels when they’re showing 5.1 sound films/programs.

    Speaking of Silent Hill, average film at best, one of Jodelles best roles of recent years, she’s been in some pretty bad films in her career.

    Anyway my main complaint with Silent Hill, asides from it borrowing heavy from the first and second videogames, they ruined any chance of a film adaption of the second Silent Hill game, which just so happened to be one of the best games to come out of Japan in recent years.

    They could of done an adaption about James Sunderland going to Silent Hill after recieving a letter from his deceased wife Mary. Which by the way has James being stalked by Pyramid heads due to his guilt.. lol

    Anyway Joe, the film that was done in that studio is an adaption of Silent Hill 3, with Heather Mason(18 year old main) as the main character. Don’t know much more than that as I don’t have a clue how they’re going with that film, asides from the fact they’re bringing back Sean Bean and whats her name from the first one.

    But if they follow the third games plotline it should be a really amazing film. Creepy too.

    Not really much of a gamer myself, just happened to play the Silent Hill games ages ago lol. They’re creepy games, Japan made Silent Hill 3 so creepy that I had to stop playing near the start of the game, the atmosphere and mood was just so.. creepy, when the shopping mall Heather is in turns all hell like, with the sounds of creepy monster things.

  19. @ Randomness – I am the most naive person EVER. I know nothing of any Silent Hill videogames, or it’s origin was Japan, or anything. Maybe that is why I liked it so much (no preconceived opinions.) I just know I happened to catch the movie late one night on satelite and thought it was so bizarre and so freaky that I loved it. I thought Jodelle Ferland did an awesome job. (When she was in SGA’s Harmony, I thought she was awesome in that too.) I didn’t know there was a Silent Hill 2. I’ll have to keep an eye out for it.

    Joe, your new studios are still probably haunted because Silent Hill was filmed there. Just beware of sudden snow storms or unusually cold rooms, etc. And remember, the ghosts can follow you home.

  20. Okay that dummy in the water heater closet is seriously creepy! No wonder Jelly couldn’t relax there and had to go to Fondy’s. I couldn’t relax their either. Burn that thing, FAST!

  21. That modern art is rather, um, interesting? Ugly. I’m not into modern art though.

    Is that the real name of the doggie daycare? Someone has been reading Harry Potter. Tell the kids good luck on their interview.

  22. about tv:
    1) scart cable (or whatever other cable) is not completely connected
    2) if there’s a box, maybe it has a volume button, or one of its cables it is not connected properly
    3) you’re tv wants to be a part of one your next series stunts

    about room change, i didnt say anything not to make you feel worse, but omg, was that the smallest, darkest and most depressive room ever or what? current room is way better, but still could use some improvements.

    also when can we expect to get more info about your new series?

  23. ok…the dummy, I’ll pass any guesses.
    Your modern art is a gymnast doing impossible stuff – the splits with one or two hand stands.

    where’s the food?

  24. I often hear people complain that Torontonians are “mean” but in a city of almost 3 million people you’re going to end up with some good and some not so good. I don’t think that’s really any different from any other city in Canada. I’ve certainly met my share of nice and not-so-nice from Vancouver, but I wouldn’t let that colour my opinion of an entire city either. So anyway Joe, I really hope you keep an open mind and give my hometown a chance!

  25. Joe, I suspect you’ll be the only one reading this; but as usual, I have little restraint over my impulses. Not my fault, man.

    And thinking of surly teenagers: I’m one of those teenagers who’s always playing their rock and roll music ’til all hours of the night – oh, wait. Fatigue and frenzied preparations for a big night doth not a good reader make. I see now that this is about *you*, not about me — and what’s wrong with them GenWhiners or wutiver they call thimsalfs, anaway?

    (Doing my best hillbilly impersonation for Derek Petrovsky.)

    And now it’s time to move along – to your *current* post! “Well done, lads! We’ve made it halfway, both laughing and crying all along the hard way!”

    Yes, I have applied for my Poetic License. *w*

  26. Joe, about the TV sound… it jogged a memory. I remember having that problem and it turned out to be a conflict between 2 remotes. Both remotes were able to control the volume but one was set to low, while the other was unable to over-ride. If that’s the problem, set both to high and decide which one will be used as the master.

    You know, high tech is wonderful, but not when you end up with 3 remotes and have to divide the duties amongst all of them…. as well as having a great sound system along with a dvd player which is disconnected. I just don’t have the patience with these superficial things when I have far more weightier problems to deal with… blah!

  27. Not sure why you’d want to turn up the volume on that episode of “Lumberjack Glee” where Dylan sang that treacly ballad about paper or plastic and the joys of celery.

    “European shoot” sounds very cool.

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