See, this is why I don’t offer people lifts more often.  No, that’s not right.  I don’t offer people lifts because I can’t be bothered to take ten minutes out of my day to help them save twenty to thirty minutes out of theirs.  I also have a terrible sense of direction and often end up losing my way, driving around aimlessly, and arriving home way too late resulting in a later than usual blog entry.  Tonight, I was out with my language exchange partner, Miho who, in addition to helping me practice my Japanese, administered the following “psychological” test.

You’re transporting five animals – a lion, a monkey, a cow, a horse, and a sheep – and have to drop off one of at a time along your route.  List the order in which you drop them off.  My response: 1. Cow (the methane factor makes this one a no brainer), 2. Sheep (an otherwise passenger who would add little to the enroute conversation), 3. Horse (I figure he’d rather walk anyway), 2. Lion (he, on the other hand, would probably have plenty of great anecdotes – or, as one actor used to say, “antidotes”), 1. Monkey (he’d keep the mood light).  Anyway, according to Miho, in rating the animals you are subconsciously rating the things in life you find of greater/lesser importance.  I think I know a guy who did his PhD dissertation on this very study.  Anyway, my priorities in life break down thusly: Of least importance for me is money (represented by the cow) which is dead-on as I’m the type of guy who would be just as happy backpacking through a Honduran jungle as I would staying at a five-star hotel in Tokyo.  No wait.  I’m the opposite of that guy.  Anyway, of almost equally less importance to me is love (represented by the sheep).  This is no doubt the result of the fact that I have no soul, misplaced five years ago along with a pair of sunglasses.  Of middling importance in my life is business (represented by the horse of course).  Then, coming in a close second is, believe it or not and probably not if you’ve watched by Weird Food Purchase of the Day videos, pride (represented by the lion).  Finally, at the top of my list is friends, represented by the monkey.  And, given some of the people I hang out with, I can’t think of a better animal to represent (although hyenas and lemurs tie for second).

Congratulations.  Several of you finally guessed the title to episode #1 of season two – and all you had to do was run through every word in the English dictionary starting with I-N-T.  So the newly revised SGU second season episode list looks like this:




#4: P*******

#5: C*********

Mom’s making progress.  She’s actually strolling up and down the hall like a woman half her age who also happened to break her hip.

Next thing you know she'll be kickboxing.


susan the tartan turtle writes: “Joe – I know that screening the series of SGU in two segments with a HUGE break in the middle is a network decision. But do you know the logic/reasoning behind such a decision?”

Answer: I believe it’s part of the network’s strategy to air original programming year-round.

Flagitous writes: “1. Two Part Question:a.) Are the gates in Universe made of Naquadah?

b.) If so, can the gates be used to find other sources of Naquadah by resonate frequencies?”

Answers: Yes, the gates in Universe are also made of naquadah.  The use of gates to locate other sources of naquadah by “resonate frequences” sounds like a reference to something we’ve done in the past 16 years/325+ episodes – but it doesn’t ring a bell (although I do remember using naquadah detectors to locate source deposits.).

Flagitous also writes: “2. Do stargates use direct, gate to gate dialing all of the time, or do they sometimes use chained gate sequences like we used for the gate bridge?”

Answer: The Destiny gate dials directly to single gates.  Alas, no chained gate sequence capabilities.  Short of locating a power source capable of dialing back to Earth, chained gate sequences would be the only other viable means to return home.

Will answer more of your gate questions in the coming days.

Taylor writes: “Just wondering if you knew when mgm would be releasing any more of the kino webisodes?”

Answer: No idea, but I would guess somewhere in the lead-up to the second half premiere.

Bryan M. White writes: “Since you are so close to Vancouver do you or any of your staff have plans to go to the winter Olympics?”

Answer: Ironically, most of the Vancouverites are getting the hell out of town.  Brad, Rob, and Paul have travel plans.  Carl, on the other hand, is actually sticking around for the “fun”(?).  As for me, I have a friend in town so I’ll be entertaining.

Andy Brind writes: “when you write about something technical in the series, do you refer to your blog to see whether or not you have already discussed it so that your blog can remain faithful to the series? or do you just write it, even if it contradicts something that you have already said on here?”

Answer: When I respond to a technical question, my response is based on a) what we’ve discussed in the room and, b) common sense.  Of course, either are fluid and something that is established in the room can be easily “un” established if it hasn’t made it to the small screen.

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Hey! MOM looks *great*!!

Amazing, isn’t it, how a couple of days on an IV and chasing after cute doctors can make you look like you’ve been at a spa?


“INTERVENTION” *was* going to be my 3rd choice… And didn’t someone already pick it a couple of days ago…?

Anyway… as to the Car Pool…
1 – Lion – cause it will just want to eat everyone else and make a bloody mess!
2 – Horse – cause they’re just fidgetty. Seriously, have you ever had to clean a horse stall?
3 – Cow – cause they’re just as big and messy and will stampede when you have to you the horn.
4 – Sheep – let’s face it, they’re warm and cuddly, and “……” – and, makegreatsweaters!
5 – Monkey – cause it’s the only one who can actually operate the GPS!!


Mama Mallozzi is already up and about. Good for her.

Geez, I had so many guesses, I can’t remember if I actually guessed Intervention.

Here’s my list of car poolers:

1. lion–I don’t want to be eaten.
2. cow–yeah, the smell
3. sheep–I hate wool. Can’t stand it.
4. horse–Don’t horses talk? That’s what they do on TV. Conversation.
5. Monkey–I liked the GPS comment, Ganymede. I think you’re right. I still haven’t figured out my GPS. Maybe I need a monkey, or to bribe my teenager to figure it out for me.


Mrs. M., Wow, you look great! Up and moving already! Good for you! Keep on moving and soon you will be going anywhere you want to go.


Hey, have you noticed yet that with Episode 3 of your second season, the total number of Stargate Franchise episodes reaches half of Star Trek’s 726 episodes in just 13 short years? I think that’s an awesome accomplishment!


Mom looks wonderful. Go Mrs. M. smile


Hi Joe,

Glad to see your mom is on the mend i bet she cant wait to get home again smile

annie from Fremantle
annie from Fremantle

Woohoo!! Looking good Mama Mallozzi! Soon you won’t need the walker to kick Joe’s ath!!!


I figure you drop the animals all off at the same time. That lion will scare the shit out of them and they’d make their own super expedient way home. Horse would win.

annie from Fremantle
annie from Fremantle

P.S is the ‘P’ episode ‘Protocol’??


Woo hoo! Mom on her feet and moving around is a great indicator of how well your mom will recover. And your mom looks and sounds more like the ballroom dancing type. Who kickboxes the competetors to knock them off their feet if they are doing too well.
Um, where in the world did Miho get that test? As for me, first to go is the sheep. They are too stupid to bear, and don’t smell all that great either. The cow is next, though with me it’s iiable to be because I’ve shared a few choice steaks with the lion. The horse next, to make sure it doesn’t end up as the lions’s first or second meal. Finally, the lion. If it has an “accident” in the car it’s going to smell worse than the crap from the herbivores. The monkey is last to leave the car. Like you, most of my friends are already primates. However, if the monkey in question starts throwing poo, it’s either a Simba snack or out the window., no matter the order.
#4 is Patience. #5 Compulsion. And if those are not the titles, they should be. I hate being wrong, about anything. Who do I have to bribe and how much will it cost to make sure I’m right? Please note I only pay bribes in tolars, takas, or lekes.
I am very much looking forward to your Olympic adventures, as I expect you’ll be venting frustrations at the invasion of your city in this venue. Thanks for the post, and good luck beating that pesky script into final submission.


Is “Intervention” the episode where the crew confronts Park about her sex addiction?

As for the “screening original programming all year round” thing – if that’s what the network seems to think, then aren’t they being a bit dumb? The plan is, as I understand it, to show Part 1 of SGU, followed by Part 1 of Caprica, followed by Part 2 of SGU, followed by Part 2 of Caprica; 40 episodes, spanning 40 weeks, with the remaining twelve plugged in by all those days off from programming that the US seems to have.

Maybe I’m misunderstanding a basic principle of programming here… but if they showed Part 1 of SGU, followed by Part 2 of SGU, would that magically make the show less original? Or is it more about throwing something hip and new out in both October and January, to keep up audience interest?


Oh, my…. I had already decided that my animal drop-off would go like this: 1. Monkey – I hate monkeys (except those cute little marmosets). 2. Lion – Get rid of it quick, before it consumes me. 3. Cow – Valuable for food and milk, but too big to easily control. 4. Horse – Love horses, but people frown upon eating them. 5. Sheep – Warm, fuzzy, and controllable. And you can eat them. THEN I read what each represented. I think it’s all wrong, because – obviously – the most important thing to me is food. I never thought love was all that important to me, but I do tend to fall in love with odd things, like flowing locks, pale skin, boxes, trees, chocolate… Friends, on the other hand, seem to be disposable to me according to this test. In some ways this is true – I rarely keep in touch with a friend – no matter how close we were – if they move away, and I HATE going back in time when it comes to friends, thus I won’t go to class reunions and stuff – I’m very much a been there, done that type person…living in the moment. However, I am loyal, tend to accept a person for what they are (except Atlanteans) and hate drama, so rarely have I ever had a conflict or falling out with a friend. But, I am a loner – happier by myself than under the scrutiny of others…so… Yeah. I think the monkey thing is just about right. Horse & Cow to me go hand in hand. Work and money. I don’t know what to make of that, because – although I work in a family business – I hate it and have always wanted to be just a plan ol’ housewife and community volunteer. I don’t like earning money…it’s not my goal in life…that’s the man’s job! However, I do have to pay bills, and the financially secure (not rich, just secure) do have less stress than those of us who have to juggle funds at the end of each month. So, if anything, I would think the cow/horse positions would be reversed, because – though I’m not a person who actually ‘thinks’ about money – I certainly think less about my career. And pride? I have none. JOEY!!!! Gotta tell you real quick about my dream! The other night I had a dream about you, Joe. You arranged a big dinner party with all your blog readers invited (that’s us!). It was held in a large dining room – one I’ve never consciously seen before – lots of glass windows around, dimly lit, tables elegantly set. I remember a lot of light reflecting off the drinking glasses. The only recognizable face in the crowd was yours, Joe. You were dressed in black (natch) – jacket, no tie – and all smiley, but not hyper or geeky or anything, just kinda laid back and cool… Then you… Read more »


Glad to see that your mom is up and feeling better.


Ack, ack, ACK!!!

*slaps back of typing hands*

I totally forgot to add…

Mom looks GREAT! In fact…she’s lookin’ kinda feisty, like…if I was standing in front of her, she’d have no problem at all mowing me down!

Speaking of which…

Last night as I went to sit on the couch next to Mr. Das, he cringed. “Why’d you cringe?” I laughed, knowing full well the reason why. “Because I thought you were gonna tickle me…”

I am notoriously ‘feisty’ at times, and an unguarded pit is fair game for the tickle finger. grin But I feel kinda bad that everytime I get near my husband now, he prepares for a tickle attack! I think maybe I better back off a bit, eh… razz

“As for me, I have a friend in town so I’ll be entertaining.”

Uh-huh. I’m gonna be keepin’ an eye on you… wink


Tammy Dixon
Tammy Dixon

Kickboxing!? It attitude was what counted, then kickboxing it might be. I would recommend water aerobics first. All kidding aside, your mom looks great! Can’t keep a good woman down.

Visitor during the Olympics, hmmmm?

I tried the link for Ms. Baker yesterday and had no luck. Did it work for others out there?

Cute “psychological” test. Too many varibles though.

Das: glad you still with us. I hope you feel better soon.

Major D. Davis
Major D. Davis

Wow! That’s great. Glad to see your moms making progress!!

Just got back from backpacking in 2-3 feet of snow for 3 days. Dang, talk about a workout, my body is sooooo dang sore.

Oh and I has an SGU dream last night. I was watching a deleted scene from air. James and some other marine lady were in it. It was a pretty action packed scene. Lol

Thanks so much,
Major D. Davis


Hi, Joe.

Best wishes again to your Mom. She does look great in yellow! A cheerful color. And she’s doing, being up and walking so soon. Good for her!


Hi Mr M!

First off: Well done to your Mom! Way to go! An inspiration to the rest of slackers in our 30’s! Delighted that she is making a speedy recovery. Best to her once more from the Emerald Isle. We are actually making her famous Friendship Cake here this week, for a family celebration.

Second: Very saddened to hear about Ms. Baker. I really enjoyed the Company Series. I have put all fellow Baker fans on the case, so positive thoughts and prayers are being sent in that direction.

Best to all



All my friends who lived through the Atlanta Olympics said it was WAY less crazy than expected. The city had made all these plans for traffic control, etc, and it was only needed in the immediate vicinity of venues.

Others that friends have attended have been the same way.

I don’t think Vancouver is going to be quite as nuts as you think. You won’t be able to go do your usual restaurant-going, but the rest of daily life should do okay.

I, however, am very annoyed that Washington State took over the public health coordination efforts so us US feds can’t go to the actual games. Boo!


I’m happy to see your mother’s doing fine (given the circumstances, but it’s nice to see her smiling smile ).

My animal-order was based on how much I liked them:

first to go: cow
and sheep (no surprise considering my nickname ‘Moonsheep’)

That makes my priorities:
1) Love (sheep)
2) Pride (lion)
3) Business (horse)
4) Friends (monkey)
5) Money (cow)
well… friends should definitely be closer to the top o.O”


WOW! Mom Mallozzi is out and about, very cool! Thanks for the update. I know appearances can sometimes be deceiving, but Mom looks like she is having fun.

Now, where are the diet details? It was a loooong holiday chowing down season.


HA! Catching up with a couple rugby matches from the weekend, and it appears that Colm Meaney was in the crowd at the Leinster v Brive match in Ireland. If it wasn’t him, the guy sure did look like him. The announcers had a bit of fun with it, referencing Star Trek and suggesting they needed Captain Kirk on the pitch to sort things out, and maybe a couple Vulcans in the back line…

Heh. At least I thought it was funny… smile



Oh, and PS to my dream post…

Joe…I think this is the third or fourth dream I’ve had about you. It is sorta starting to creep me out a little…




Mr. M up and cruising already. That is so great to see. Careful Mrs. M, don’t slip on any spilled hospital food. Better yet – see if you can whip up some culinary delights in the hospital kitchen for your fellow “inmates”.

Joe, I really laughed at your profile. You would need to hold onto five cows just to pay for your Japanese foodie adventures.

My choice would be not to travel with any animals except dogs but given the test, my choices would be:

1. lion – dangerous cargo – first to go
2. cow – just big and lumbering
3. horse – because it’s big and I like them better than cows.
4. sheep – innocuous and easier to ferry
5. monkey – they are the most entertaining – last to go

Alexander of Houston
Alexander of Houston

Dear Joe,

I have started Culinary School, when I graduate and if I decided to open my own restaurant, would you dine there?