Or, The Kino Revealed and-my-top-10-favorite-stargate-episode-titles.

I was down on Stage 5 today watching Director Ernest Dickerson calling the shots on Earth. At one point, Camera Operator Greg Fox swept by and I asked him how much his camera weighed. By way of a response, I was given the honor of a hands-on experience.

“Hold it here,” I was instructed as the camera was lowered onto my shoulder, my left hand positioned to support it, my right hand guided over to steady it.

“And here.” Then, a nervous: “You got it?” I could see the exact same scene playing out in their heads: The uncoordinated producer helping himself to the camera —and dropping it, casually kicking it under the table before quietly shuffling off with a murmured apology.

Damn! The thing was heavy! “Damn!” I said. “This thing is heavy!” It was like having an oversized second head with the weight of a bowling ball.

“It’s not so bad,“Greg assured me. “You get used to it after a day.” I was dubious. Greg smiled and, as he reclaimed his camera, he replaced it with mine, the portable little handheld camcorder he helpfully propped up on my right shoulder. Much better!

Speaking of shooting — tomorrow is Ivon’s big directorial debut as we begin shooting those kino scenes. Sorry. A few mailbags ago, I was asked what a kino was. I was in the process of answering, got distracted, then continued answering the other questions and never got back to my kino response. What is a kino? A kino is an advanced MALP. Specifically, it’s the Ancient version of a MALP.

To those of you asking — yes, Carl is still around. As proof, check out some recent pics from our recent outing to Quattro Restaurant on 4th.

My Top 10 Stargate Titles

Finally, sometime last week, some website put together a list of their favorite episode titles. Alas, Stargate failed to make the list. To rectify that oversight, I’ve decided to put together a list of My Top 10 Favorite Stargate Titles:

10) Double Jeopardy: The audience sits there wondering “Why the hell is this episode called Double Jeopardy?” until the end of the first act when Daniel Jackson gets decapitated, at which point they suddenly realize they’ve been following the android versions of our heroes (last scene in Tin Man). Double the SG-1 = Double the jeopardy.

9) Watergate: What else are you going to call an episode focusing on the team’s investigation of a secret Russian project in which a second gate is connected to a water planet – with disastrous results? Okay, granted, it could’ve been called plenty of other things and when Rob Cooper first suggested calling his episode Watergate, I remember we all laughed. Well, as it turned out, Rob was the last man laughing.

8) Crossroads: We were once pitched a freelance story which the author titled, broadly enough, Turn of Events. Really? Something is going to happen in this episode? How fitting then! Sure, we all made fun of the title at the time, but Paul was quick to point out that we’d been just as guilty several years earlier with this episode title, Crossroads. Really? Someone faces a tough decision in this episode? How fitting then!

7) Cold Lazarus: Well, it sounds cool — despite the fact that there is no discernible connection between this cryptic title and the actual events in the episode. Apparently, upon reading the script, someone at the studio called the production offices demanding to know: “Who the hell is Lazarus and why is he cold?!”

6) Talion: Damian Kindler was always great at coming up with these obscure titles (see: Ethon). According to dictionary.com: “A punishment identical to the offense, as the death penalty for murder.”. All well and good except that whenever someone mentioned this episode by name, I always assumed they were saying “Italian“, resulting in much confusion.

5) McKay and Mrs. Miller: One the one hand, McCabe and Mrs. Miller is the name of an old Robert Altman western. On the other hand, we had a story involving the character of McKay and his little sister. A bit of a stretch unless… “Hey, maybe Miller is her married name!”Marty G. suggested in a stroke of genius.

4) Avenger 2.0: The best thing about this episode was the title. Felger (last seen in The Other Guys) invents a computer virus capable of deactivating stargates. While testing it, the entire gate network shut down. Will Felger and Carter solve the problem and come up with a working security patch in time? No, don’t’ bother watching. They do.

3) Miller’s Crossing: Keeping with the Miller movie theme, Marty G. went to the Coen brothers for inspiration in titling this episode which saw the return of McKay’s little sister, Jeannie Miller. See, her last name is Miller and, um, well Rodney’s last name is McKay but her husband’s last name is Miller and there is this scene where he snaps at McKay, you see, he’s very cross, and…Aaaah, forget it.

2) There But For the Grace of God Go I: Best Title For An AU Episode Ever! – because, at the end of the day, this is what is at the heart of every great A.U. story: the path not followed, the road not taken (coincidentally, the title of another SG-1 A.U. episode).

1) Ex Deus Machina: When this episode aired, some fans were livid because they assumed we’d unwittingly screwed up the Latin. Well, yes, we did screw up the Latin —  but wittingly. The story involved System Lord Baal making his way to Earth. “Maybe he becomes a mechanic,” I suggested. “Then we could call it Deus Ex Mechanic.”

“Better yet,”said Paul. “He’s a former god. We should call is Ex Deus Machina.” So we did.

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Ugly Pig
Ugly Pig

“Cold Lazarus: Well, it sounds cool – despite the fact that there is no discernible connection between this cryptic title and the actual events in the episode.”

Kind of like “Fragile Balance”?

Angelus
Angelus

“What is a kino? A kino is an advanced MALP. Specifically, it’ the Ancient version of a MALP.” ~ Joe

Finaly, The big mystery has been revealed razz

So, It’s an Ancient MALP huh… I’m guessing it can fly, cloak and make a mean cup of cappuccino. Kinda like that probe thingy the Wraith had that one time on SG-A… Minus the coffee part… Wraith don’t do.. Coffee. smile

Major D. Davis
Major D. Davis

Huh, filming earth already, what happened to fire and water?

Sherwood Forest Maiden
Sherwood Forest Maiden

It would be very hard for me to list any fav SG-1 titles, as I like (yes, present tense) most of them; but for Atlantis, Epiphaney stands a truely revealing, and very, very helpful episode for me and my life, but again, all are great.

Craig MD
Craig MD

I think my favorite episode title is “Adrift” because it just conjours up images of being lost (mostly at sea, but I guess space works just as well) and desperate for rescue or a way home.

Question: I noticed that “Parable of the Sower” was a BOTM selection at one point. I’ve never read it, but I loved Octavia Butler’s “Clay’s Ark”. Have you read it and if so what did you think of it?

PoorOldEdgarDerby
PoorOldEdgarDerby

I liked the 2001/2010 reference…and Wormhole X-treme! was good marketing.

Bailey
Bailey

Kino?
Is that a little pre-April Fools joke?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Kino

Leah
Leah

I think ‘Ex Deus Machina’ is probably my favourite, too. Other faves not on your list – ‘Forever in a Day’, ‘It’s Good To Be King’, ‘Citizen Joe’, and ‘Grace Under Pressure’ (which I thought was one of the funniest and cleverest ones).

One I never understood – ‘Deadman Switch’. Maybe I’m just dumb, but I looked up ‘dead man’s switch’ and I still don’t understand how it connects to the episode.

Deni B.
Deni B.

Hi Joe, Hey, whatever happened to Felger? He was hilarious! You should consider bringing him (and John Billingsley) back for SGU. I disagree with you about Avenger 2.0. The best thing was not the title, it was such a funny episode and I still watch it on shitty days to make me laugh. Funny thing is, it still does the trick.

@das: In case you didn’t see it on last night’s comments, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Have a good night, everybody! Deni

Cathain
Cathain

Hi Joe, I found out today that my little Sandy (a pomeranian/beagle mix) is allergic to grass. Yes, my dog is allergic to grass (though not as bad as my friend’s dog, who is allergic to cats). Do any of your pups have allergies?

TwiceBorn

What do you mean don’t watch Avenger 2.0?
I love that one, it’s halarious.

Thornyrose
Thornyrose

I’m sorry, but I can’t rate Miller’s Crossing as a top 100, much less top 10 title. In fact, the title was one of the major disappointments of that episode. But to put my $2 worth in(hate inflation), I’ll list the following in no order of preference.
From Atlantis:
1) Rising. Such a perfect title.
2) 38 Minutes. Harkens to the SG mythology/rules, and is an almost real-time episode.
3)Tabula Rasa. Great title, great episode
4) The Last Man. Loved the ambiguity of the title, ostensibly referring to Sheppard, but applicable to McKay.

From SG-1
5) The Broca Divide. Not among the greatest of SG episodes, but the title is a wonderful reference to “Broca’s Brain”.
6) Torment of Tantalus. Invocation of Greek mythology with a great story(and our first peek at Paul M.)
7)Watergate. Love a title that is both literal and a reference to a cultural/historical event.
8) Citizen Joe. Again, title gives fair warning as to the main theme of the episode, and is one of the “non-traditional eps that makes the SG franchise so good.
9) Deux ex Machina. gotta love classic literary references.
10 Momento Mori. So, I have a thing about old languages.

Just a couple of other things I’d like to note or ask. First, The latest Honorverse is a must read. Not actually the best of the series, but only because it has so much brewing in it, setting the stages for the the big blowout. Weber is reminding me more and more of the Lensmen series, constantaly ratcheting up the size of the fights and the stakes involved, but does so in a much more skilled and plausible way. Well worth the couple of hours of lost sleep needed to finish it.
Finally, any chance we can coax some poetry from you on hints about say, the first half of season 1 of Universe? Maybe something you can post a month or three before the premiere? Since you’re not allowed to share all your cool pictures, surely TPTB will permit you to offer us a few little crumbs in the form of the written word.
Great pics, and thanks for sharing.

thomasjohnbrown
thomasjohnbrown

I am doing the Twitter thing, and I came across David Blue, and Brian J. Smith on there. Anyways, Brian J. Smith kept talking about the Pancakes he has every morning. So I asked him if maybe they had blueberry encrusted chevrons on them, and he said no, but they have a butter and syrup kawoosh. And so I said I heard that Aunt Jemima was cast on SG:U, and she was the one who discovered the purpose of the ninth chevron. He then wrote me back and said that she “Gets his gate dialing in the morning”. So my questions for you are, have you had these said pancakes? And if so, are they that good? And does Aunt Jemima have a chance of surviving the first season of SG:U??? Because if she dials his gate for him, maybe there will be a Sam/Jack type romance hehe.. But hopefully not a TEN SEASON long one!!

dasNdanger
dasNdanger

Kino? Does it have something to do with the cinematography elements in the script? Movements and camera work and the like – such as movement within frame, or off-frame, etc?

MALPs are kinda like that…

Anyone watch NCIS tonight??! Anyone loving Trent Kort (David Dayan Fisher – from SGA’s The Game) as much as me? Anyone think his relationship with Gibbs is JUST like Todd and Sheppard?? Anyone else think he’s kinda hot… oops

Ah…yet another recurring character for me to fret over… razz

das

Shawna
Shawna

Haha, as soon as I read your blog title, I thought of “Ex Deus Machina”. Ever since that episode came out, that’s been my favorite Stargate title just because it’s so darn clever, and also one of those that actually requires some knowledge of literary terminology to understand, which makes it kind of an inside joke, as well.

I think “Beneath the Surface” was a good one, too. Nice double meaning there. Literal, with the mining, and figurative, with the buried memories.

I also liked “The Last Man”, because at first you think it refers to Sheppard, but then as it goes on, you realize that it means McKay (or that it means both simultaneously).

“The Prodigal” was an interesting title choice for that episode. Because it seems to imply that Michael belongs to/in Atlantis (the whole ‘prodigal son’ thing), which puts a subtle and very interesting spin on his whole storyline. But I could get into a whole thing about that, so I’ll refrain. I can’t seem to talk about Michael without getting worked up with frustration.

I should say, though, that I enjoyed the Felger episodes. The whole thing with people who work with the main characters but also kind of idolize them is a lot of fun.

Also, I was a little disappointed that the robo-team didn’t last longer than they did. After I first saw Tin Man, I was kind of hoping they’d show up a few more times. Glad they got at least one more ep, of course, but had they survived it could have made for a lot of fun in later seasons.

dasNdanger
dasNdanger

@ Deni B. – Yup! I saw! Thanks, again! Our evening has been rather quiet – just our regular tv night. Long day for both of us, so we’re going to do something nice over the weekend, hopefully. Mr. Das did buy himself an anniversary gift, however…a flat screen tv. unamused Not too big, and it is nice…but I really wanted chocolate. razz

Ack! and I didn’t get my computer turned off before April 1st! Oh well…if I have that conficker worm, can’t do anything about it now, I guess…

das

amconway
amconway

Brie is unbelievably cute! I love that expression on her face in the first picture. Is she a French Bulldog?

‘There But For The Grace Of God’ is one of my all time favorite episode titles. I was thinking about it the other day while reading some discussion of the one word titles. While I’m sure they will will be entirely suitable, they just don’t have the poetry that ‘There But For The Grace Of God’ has.

Terry
Terry

There But For the Grace of God is one of my favorite episode titles. I also remember it’s the episode in SG-1 that sealed the deal for me as it were…made me a fan.

I also like “Grace Under Pressure” not only because of its connection to events in the episode but I think it was also a play with an episode title from SG1 where Carter was trapped alone and hallucinated?

dasNdanger
dasNdanger

@ Thornyrose – I have to agree with you about The Rising being such a great title. The rising of Atlantis, the rising of the Wraith…it was a perfect title for the premiere and established the right atmosphere for the series.

For the most part, however, I don’t pay attention to episode titles unless I need to reference them in a discussion, or something. There are several SGA titles I don’t know off the top of my head, and most other series I watch I haven’t the first clue to what the show titles are. When I DVR a show then I become familiar with the titles, but mostly I never notice them. Probably not something the writers and producers want to hear, eh? wink

das

ytimynona
ytimynona

My favorite episode title is definitely “Line in the Sand.” I love the Alamo reference (that IS what you were referencing, yes?). It also happens to be one of my favorite episodes, but that’s not the point wink
I’m also quite fond of “Be All My Sins Remembered” and “This Mortal Coil” because of the Shakespeare reference! grin

@Das: Mmhmm I saw NCIS tonight! I love watching Mark Harmon interact with any guest stars, but guest stars who have also been on Stargate make it that much more special smile

whovian

Hey Joe!

I’m in Vancouver! And it’s FREEZING here. Today was sunny and gorgeous, though. So I do feel spoiled. Maybe I brought the sunshine with me?

Anyway, Jeremy rented a white van. I’m going to drive over to your house and have Jeremy knock on your door. He’s sort of forgetful so he might ask if Stanley’s home. Plus, he can be shy. He will probably just stare in your windows and not ring the bell.

See ya soon!

Trish grin

gollysunshine
gollysunshine

Hey Joe,

I thought I’d share my excitement for today. Today I got my copies of the book “Thrilling Wonder Stories” which has in it the article I was commissioned to write last year during the writers strike. It was a behind the scenes history of the Star Trek hour-long Internet episode we had done earlier — the one called “World Enough and Time” for Star Trek: New Voyages and starred George Takei – oh how time flies. Seems like only yesterday it was being nominated for the Hugo and the Nebula Awards (Doctor Who beat it, I think).

It’s very thrilling to see myself published in a real book in the company of accomplished and prestigious pro Star Trek writers – many of whom I read when I was much younger. And it’s being sold on Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/Thrilling-Wonder-Stories-Winston-Engle/dp/0979671817/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1238548371&sr=8-2)
where I’ve bought many a book and DVD myself. I’m even listed in the product details.

I know this is small considering how many scripts you’ve written and produced, but considering how my writing career in LA is more beating my head against the wall and selling scripts and articles that are unproduced, this is huge to me.

So I’m celebrating tonight by sharing with you and your blog, which appreciates the printed page.

— Crystal

fsmn36

Apparently, upon reading the script, someone at the studio called the production offices demanding to know: “Who the hell is Lazarus and why is he cold?!”

Hahaha!! I love that. I always wonder about that with some titles. I find some are common for every single show ever made (There are very few shows out there that by the time they are complete haven’t used “Memento Mori”. And if they haven’t, I suspect it’s because the network cancelled them before they could get around to it.) Others are so obscure and irrelevant you wonder where in God’s name people came up with them. One show that sticks out a bit? Supernatural. A lot of their titles are lines from classic rock songs. Very cool. And unusual.

“Maybe he becomes a mechanic,”I suggested. “Then we could call it Deus Ex Mechanic.” “Better yet,”said Paul. “He’s a former god. We should call is Ex Deus Machina.” So we did.

Brilliant. grin

Shawna
Shawna

Oh, yes, I have to add “Grace Under Pressure” to my favorite titles, as well. SG-1 reference FTW! And, of course, clever literal use of a common phrase.

green
green

I have no idea why our Internet hasn’t cut out yet. But since it’s allowing me access now, I suppose I’ll relay my message.

Apparently we will no longer have Internet access. This means no more Joe Mallozzi.

So, this is a goodbye.

I’ve really had fun reading your blog. It’s been the highlight of my days.

Yeah. How sad is that?

Anyway. Thanks for the laughs and the information. Don’t be too funny without me. Or…don’t tell me about it if you are. Just…reach me by carrier pigeon.