So I was watching Euro Cup today and it got me to thinking. One of the biggest complaints I hear about soccer (occasionally a.k.a. football) is that it’s too slow-paced. Not enough points. The final scores are always Two-Nil or One-Nil or the dreaded Nil-Nil. Three goals are considered an offensive explosion. Well, I came up with a way to make soccer a little more exciting, and all it would require would be a slight adjustment to the way the game is played. Presently, the goal keeper is the only one who is allowed to use his hands to catch, trap, and throw the ball. I would like to suggest that, instead, EVERY player on the field be allowed to use their hands EXCEPT for the goal keeper. Think about it. You could transform the game into a goal-scoring bonanza overnight! Now I understand how purists might object to this relatively minor modification of long-established soccer convention, but I firmly believe that average fan would be on board. Think of the fun of watching goal keepers having to resort to headers or the bicycle kick to fend off potential scoring strikes! It would offer sports entertainment the likes of which we haven’t seen since the untimely demise of the XFL.
And, while I’m at it, here are a few more ideas to help improve the game:
1. Pack the ball with fireworks that go off every time someone scores. Presently, the players are so reserved, you would never know they got a goal.
2. In addition to the yellow warning card and red explusion card, include a blue payback card that allows an injured player to deliver a retaliatory kick to his opponent’s shins.
3. In a salute to 20th century technology, incorporate an official game clock that tracks extra time rather than relying on some guy and his Casio.
4. Players are not permitted to shield their private areas during a free kick.
5. Immediately after a penalty kick is made, the goalie races the player who made the kick to the other end of the field. If he beats him there, then the goal is disallowed.
Thanks to everybody who has weighed in with an opinion on the whole BlackBerry vs. iPhone debate. I’m still thinking about it. It’ll either be the BlackBerry, the iPhone or, preferably if I can wait long enough for the technology to come out, a neural link.
Also, thank you to everyone who offered up suggestions on how to salvage my phone on the heels of its watery interlude. I took the best of the ideas offered and incorporated them into one fantastic plan of action that involved dismantling the phone, steaming the individual pieces in rice, then rolling the rice to form an enormous sushi cone, wrapping it in plastic, and putting it in the freezer overnight. I am hopeful that this has solved the problem and that my cell phone will once again be operational once I’ve removed the seaweed from its various components and figured out how to reassume the damn thing.
Today’s entry is dedicated to happy couple fishbaum and Dajaje.
Today’s pics: The dogs working on their respective tans.
Mailbag:
Mackenzie’s Momma writes: “What is the one thing you are looking forward to about this hiatus(now that its officially started)?”
Answer: I look forward to taking my mind off of work and just relaxing.
Girly_curly_3 writes: “I’m really looking forward to the start of S5 and am very sad to hear you won’t be making it to Comic Con. Do you know of any of the cast members plans to attend or not?”
Answer: They have yet to confirm the line-up, but I believe David, Rachel, Bob, and Joe are safe bets.
Erin writes: “BTW, what do u do with all the books you buy? Large personal library? friends? goodwill? ebay? give to your local library? Family?”
Answer: a) Large personal library.
Narelle from Aus writes: “How’s the holiday planning going?”
Answer: We’re making plans to visit Hong Kong and Shanghai later this year.
Majorsal writes: “I was amazed by the difference in opinion between focus groups and online fandom.” was the difference of more negative or positive opinions between the two?”
Answer: It wasn’t so much a difference between the number of positive or negative opinions as it was the different things that interested each group.
Rose writes: “Are all the extras hired in or does the director, in a pinch, call into the office to find out if someone who works there fits the costume of “villager #6″?”
Answer: All of the extras are hired during prep week, well before the episode goes to camera.
MELorne-Super-Fan writes: “I wonder if I could use one of the few pictures of Mr. Kavan Smith you did capture on the set of S&R in February or March, to create a Vector of him.”
Answer: Sure thing. Knock yourself out.
Erin writes: “1. So a lot of places I’ve been to have said Jason Momoa’s eyes are green. Is that really true??
2. I was wondering, back in season two when they pretended to blow themselves up and they “have a new adresss” how was that supposed to work? Were any allies supposed to dial some other planet to contact them, even though there wouldn’t exactly be anyone there? I don’t think I’ve missed something, but I sometimes tend to.
3. And are you a music fan?”
Answer: 1. No idea. 2. In the case of Atlantis’s allies, they would meet and/or communicate through a secondary planet. 3. Not so much.
Shannon writes: “Is it a contract thing that Michael Shanks gets his name added to the end (noticed it in Ark of Truth)?”
Answer: Like David’s similar credit at the end of the Stargate: Atlantis opening, this is a placement that the actors have negotiated.
Morjana writes: “ Have you seen this?
http://www.cepro.com/article/the_stargate_home_theater_by_visual_concepts/#When:21:57:00Z
Stargate Atlantis Home Theater!”
Answer: Love it!
Wraith Cake writes: “I am very careful with statistics. They can give you surprising insights or completely incorrect information—for instance, how much control do you have on how these focus groups “screen” potential volunteers—know what I mean?”
Answer: Exactly. The results of any focus group testing should be taken with a grain of salt as well.
DasNdanger writes: “ So I sought out people of like mind who wanted to rant/rave/analyze/gush about the same things that were of interest to me. Doing so has introduced me to new ideas and opinions and possibilities I would never have thought of on my own. I love the mental exercise of it all, even if there’s no real value in it.”
Answer: But I disagree. There is great value in expressing yourself through the written word, and perhaps even greater value in the friendships you’ve undoubtedly made online.
Belcouchi writes: “As you might have figured out sir I’m a student at mcgill and also co-own a wholesale business of cellular telephones in Montreal: http://www.laviecell.com “
Answer: Hey, Belcouchi, thanks for the offer.
Jade writes: “When you watch other shows, do you find yourself critiquing the writing or are you able to turn that off?”
Answer: I can’t watch a show or movie without critiquing the writing. It drives Fondy crazy.
Porlandbound writes: “Which charater would you like to read if their is a strike?”
Answer: Oh, all of them.
BlueJay writes: “…ever seen Footrot Flats or read the comics?”
Answer: I haven’t.
Stargatelvr writes: “Do you plan on reading “The Host” by Stephenie Meyer or and of the Twilight Series?”
Answer: Not familiar with either.
Sorka writes: “Have you ever had Porkroll or Scrapple?”
Answer: I’m not sure. Scrapple sounds very familiar. Was he a Jaffa?
Dovil writes: “1. Will any of the team be struck by a debilitating foot fungal infection that will test their fortitude to their very limits?
2. Will Sheppard get a date to the prom?
3. Will the Wraith and the Replicators merge to form the Wraithlicators and robot dance and life suck their way to victory?”
Answer: 1) We did this back in season four. It was cut for time. 2) Nope. He’ll have to take his cousin. 3) Sure. We’ll be looking for a dance choreographer. You busy?
David writes: “I finished grade 9 today!!!! Please wish me luck on my exams next week though!”
Answer: Good luck!
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