With the possible exception of a cold forest floor on a rainy night with the deranged serial killer closing in, an airplane is probably the last place you want to be sleeping. It’s too bright, it’s too noisy, and the seats are possessed of these unfathomable bumps and indents that seem to target the unlikeliest parts of your body: your left shoulder, your right ankle, your knees. My knees! I woke up from an , hour-long slumber with numb knees! How the hell does that happen? It was a fitful, incredibly uncomfortable hour, in no small part due to the flight crew’s insistence on keeping to their damn schedule even though we were three and a half hours late. And so, dinner was served despite the fact that it was 1:00 a.m. And, even though I passed on the meal and tried my best to snooze away the 8 hour return-flight, sleep would not come. I finally gave up and opted to kill time by resuming the near-interminable selection from my online scifi book club, making a game of seeing what would be captured first, the monster running amok on the space station or my interest. By page 319, there was no sign of either, so I packed it in for another day, put on my noise-canceling headphones, and gave sleep another shot. It didn’t come easy. Although the cabin lights had been turned down, the glow off my wife’s mini in-flight t.v. was oppressive as she watched the end of The Illusionist (or it may have been The Prestige. They were two different movies, right?), then switched channels to watch the end of the Pirates of the Caribbean sequel. Sometime between the swashbuckling squidhead and the no-doubt open-ended conclusion that leaves the door open for yet another sequel, I drifted off. I awoke hours later, neck stiff, back sore, and, yes, knees numb.

We arrived in Vancouver at about 2:30 p.m. local time and, after what felt like an endless afternoon packing, getting caught up with my sister (who has been house/dog-sitting while we were away), checking in with mom and the in-laws, and spending some quality time with the dogs, I’m thoroughly exhausted and, finally, ready for bed.

Unfortunately, it’s only 6:00 p.m.

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Even more unfortunately, a system crash that wiped out my previous post just as I hit the “Publish” button, pics and all. Sadly, the pics will have to wait one more day. Happily, I’m going to sleep at a much more reasonable time. For an octogenarian I suppose.