A.I.M. (Advanced Idea Mechanics)
What’s Their Deal?
An off-shoot of Hydra, they’re a terrorist organization run by science-minded nerds unfettered by things like morals, ethics, and laws.
How Low Can They Go?
Their distinct yellow uniforms ensures they are constantly being mistaken for rogue beekeepers. Also, in addition to creating the reality-altering cosmic cube, they also created M.O.D.O.K., a living computer with a giant head and tiny baby feet.
Shocking Twist!
Big Head Baby Feet? He’s their leader now.
***
Cobra
What’s Their Deal?
World domination and international arms dealing under the direction of the aptly named Cobra Commander.
How Low Can They Go?
Released ultrasonic waves from their underwater base in the Gulf of Mexico, devastating the surrounding marine life. Also, once held a telethon (the equally aptly named Cobrathon) to raise money from fellow criminals so they could target and destroy law enforcement computers.
Shocking Twist!
Cobra Commander kills his own son, Billy, with a poison dart, then hoists his corpse up a flagpole for the Joes to find.
***
The Hand
What’s Their Deal?
Black magic-wielding ninja operatives who serve a demon called the Beast.
How Low Can They Go?
Stole Elektra’s corpse in an attempt to resurrect her and turn her to their cause.
Shocking Twist!
Daredevil accepts their offer and becomes their leader.
***
H.A.M.M.E.R.
What’s Their Deal?
Created by noted philanthropist Norman Osborn as a substitute for S.H.I.E.L.D. during the post-Skrull Invasion, this government-sanctioned organization abused its authority, using the superpowered Dark Avengers as muscle.
How Low Can They Go?
Lead an unsanctioned attack on Asgard after framing Volstagg for a civilian massacre engineered by Osborn himself.
Shocking Twist!
Osborn has Bullseye kill Sentry’s wife because he considers her a source of weakness. Bullseye accomplishes this task by choking her and then tossing her out of a helicopter.
***
H.I.V.E.
What’s Their Deal?
The Hierarchy of International Vengeance and Extermination. That about sums it up.
How Low Can They Go?
The organization’s leader, HIVE Master, was murdered by his wife, HIVE Mistress, who took over and then, when facing defeat at the hands of The Teen Titans, killed herself and a bunch of scientists in their undersea headquarters. What a sore loser.
Shocking Twist!
Deathstroke, under contract to H.I.V.E., uses Terra to infiltrate The Teen Titans!
***
Hydra
What’s Their Deal?
They’re a terrorist organization with roots in the Axis Powers of World War II.
Hail, HYDRA! Immortal HYDRA! We shall never be destroyed! Cut off a limb, and two more shall take its place! We serve none but the Master—as the world shall soon serve us! Hail HYDRA! – Hydra oath
How Low Can They Go?
Killed Wolverine, resurrected him with the help of The Hand, then sicced him on his former friends.
Shocking Twist!
One of its longtime leaders, Madame Hydra, was really…a sleeper agent working for Hydra’s ancient enemy Leviathan! Another one of its other leaders, Kraken, was really…Nick Fury’s younger angrier bother Jake! Also, a number of its members were…skrulls! And one of its most infamous deep undercover agents was none other than…Captain America! But then he wasn’t.
***
Intergang
What’s Their Deal?
Metropolis-based crime syndicate outfitted with advanced tech and weaponry courtesy of Darkseid.
How Low Can They Go?
Leader Bruno Manheim punished those who refuse to join Intergang by eating them.
Shocking Twist!
Boss Moxie has his neck snapped by Superboy-Prime. Yep, that was him.
***
League of Assassins
What’s Their Deal?
Aka The Society of Assassins, aka The League of Shadows, aka The Society of Shadows. An international cult-like guild of trained killers led by Ra’s al Ghul.
How Low Can They Go?
Wiped out an entire pod of sperm whales in order to harvest their wombs so that Ra’s al Ghul could use them to grow a cadre of genetically-altered assassins.
Shocking Twist!
Batgirl is killed by the fearsome Mad Dog, then resurrected in a Lazarus Pit by Lady Shiva.
***
LEXCORP
What’s Their Deal?
With its headquarters in beautiful LexCorp Tower located in bustling Metropolis, this mega-corp is owned and operated by Lex Luthor. Its front as a legitimate ruthless business operation belies its true nature as a ruthless criminal operation.
How Low Can They Go?
Its employment charter specifically prohibited LexCorp employees from rendering Superman any manner of assistance.
Shocking Twist!
Company CEO and grandstanding business magnate Lex Luthor becomes President of the United States – only to be forced out for abuse of power after three years in office. He goes bankrupt, and see LexCorp’s assets sold to the Wayne Foundation.
***
OSCORP
What’s Their Deal?
Formerly known as Osborn Industries, it is a megacorporation, specializing in defense weaponry, under the direction of CEO Norman Osborn.
How Low Can They Go?
Norman gained control of the company, and the goblin formula, by ensuring his business partner, Mendel Stromm, was locked up for embezzlement. Yes, he was technically guilty but, in all fairness, his strength was chemicals and robots, not accounting.
Shocking Twist!
Allan Chemicals merged with Oscorp, giving rise to the Alchemax Corporation. Its CEO, Liz Parker, hires a man named Mason Banks who, it turns out, is actually Norman Osborn in disguise. It turns out he has secretly orchestrated the takeover.
***
Roxxon
What’s Their Deal?
Roxxon Energy Corporation (formerly Roxxon Oil Company) seeks world domination through a world-wide energy monopoly.
How Low Can They Go?
Arranged the deaths of Tony Stark’s parents, Howard and Maria Stark. Also, after microwave radiation from their satellite Star Well 1 killed over 200 inhabitants of Allantown, Iowa, Roxxon covered their asses by passing the incident off as an Anthrax scare – then hosted a celebrity golf tournament for the town’s survivors.
Shocking Twist!
Jonas Hale, Executive VP and Head of Research, is named after the actor who played the Skipper on Gilligan’s island!
***
Sinestro Corps
What’s Their Deal?
They’re the anti-Green Lantern Corps, made up of Qwardian Yellow Power ring-wielding members committed to the propagation of fear.
How Low Can They Go?
The Corps’ surprise assault on Earth and their massacre of a multitude of Green Lanterns evidenced, not by witnessing the killings, but the sight of innumerable Lantern rings flying through space in search of new and worthy bearers.
Shocking Twist!
Sinestros’ ringer revealed at the end of Sinestro Corps War Special #1 = none other than the Anti-Monitor.
***
SYFY
What’s Their Deal?
Basic cable and satellite channel featuring fantasy, horror, supernatural, paranormal, drama, and reality programming. Occasionally, science fiction.
How Low Can They Go?
Proclaimed their commitment to science fiction and fandom, even went so far as to adopt a new catchphrase #ItsAFanThing, then canceled sci-fi fan favorites Dark Matter and The Expanse.
Shocking Twist!
That guy making the programming decisions? He’s really just a monkey picking random chits out of a top hat.
Yeah, they’re all pretty evil. But that last one is in a class on its own. Horrifying.
Whew! The way things are going down here, I feared one of my former US federal agencies would make the list.
hmmm….yeah, SyFy is the evilest, for sure.
Can’t help poking the bear (SyFy). 🙂
I’m enjoying the virtual “Dark Matter”. I finally caught up and you had me on the edge of my seat, literally. 😉 Now, I have to find out about Five and her sister…
Oh, forgot to add that I downloaded five books for the cruise (thinking that was too much). I finished all of them! Two of them were your recommendations (R. J. Baker-Wounded Kingdom series) and they were excellent! Another book was “The President is Missing” and I enjoyed that one too.
Thanks Joe. While waiting for my item to come up for discussion, I was reading this during a meeting here at work (I work for an aerospace company supporting NASA ISS). I got to your last input, lost in the hilariousness of your SyFy post, I accidently let out a loud laugh, interrupting our planning meeting. Of course i had to explain myself. After my rant on SyFy and what theyve done to the genre we love so much was over…all of the other system and software engineers in the room were in agreement that SyFy sucks. By the way, you have several fans in my group!
“After my rant on SyFy and what theyve done to the genre we love so much was over…all of the other system and software engineers in the room were in agreement that SyFy sucks. By the way, you have several fans in my group!”
Awww, thanks, Barry. And please pass along my apologies to the team for disrupting your meeting.
No apology necessary, it was a welcomed and needed break!
Mr M
AIUI the reason why Killjoys was kept on the SyFy schedule was that the show’s lead actress is in upcoming Ant-Man and the Wasp movie. More or less free PR for SyFy with the might of the Mouse.
Oh. Please don’t insult the monkey. At least the simian pick is random. While the SyFy programmer have 2 hats to pick from. Shows Comcast like.and dislike. Comcast is reason why there is reality shows on SyFy to begin with, they ran out of bandwidth on their other cable channels.
.
.
Finally where is the “A” organization run by the Seattle gnome (Bezos) not on your list of evil doers?
What’s Their Deal? Prime
How Low Can They Go? Low enough to drive other competitors out of business.
Shocking Twist! There are brick & mortar A stores including Whole Foods.
lol. You surprised me.
Well you don’t have to worry about anyone, that least a human form, from SciFi from reading Barry’s comments. That would take someone with cognitive abilities. At least those who consider the days first use of paper a recallable matter.
I ment a recyclable. a victim of auto correct
you forgot the part where they killed SG:U because of low ratings, after moving it to tuesday so friday could be wrestling. …and then a while later moving other shows from tuesday back to friday and watching their ratings go right back up.
“That guy making the programming decisions? He’s really just a monkey picking random chits out of a top hat.”
Awe ha!!! I knew it! I knew it!!
I must agree with you on SyFy–ugh!
My only disappointment in your post was the exclusion of “The Evil League of Evil.” Shocking Twist: Bad Horse… is an actual horse. 😀
I knew from the start SyFy would make this list, but I wasn’t sure if you would put them at number one or not. Then I realized, of course they have to be number one. All the others are fictional! Just imagine if they had the moral and legal freedom those comic book organizations have. We would all be doomed.
Also, I notice these are all from Marvel and DC with the exception of Cobra. I feel like you could have pulled from a few other sources. Sure The Empire (from Star Wars) could have made this list. Probably one or two others.
Haha! Nice twist at the end! 😀
That Shit’s Gangsta
Excellent set up and pay off! You should try writing for a living.
Ah, the old monkey picker…well, THAT makes sense…read Jeff Besos picked up Expanse for a fourth season,,,I like space nerds…
To be fair to monkeys, that one at SyFy is under duress. Where’s the Evil League of Evil when you need them? Paging Bad Horse and Dr. Horrible …
And whose top hat is that? I bet they stole it, and will replace it with a stupid hipster fedora halfway through next season.
That sir, was an exercise in perfect execution!
*notices the lack of Act 6, accompanied by a direct complaint about SyFy*
… They didn’t..!??!?
Hilarious and so true!! Damn you Syfy!! Damn you to Hell!
Ps also NBC for cancelling a great show like Timeless!
Love the last one. And…we mustn’t forget Stargate Universe. Once they killed Dark Matter, I resumed my boycott of the SyFail channel.
And they randomly cancelled Face Off with no announcement of any kind. Just an off hand comment that the final season was debuting.
It’s the one and only “reality” series that I actually enjoyed, because the make-ups are great as story inspirations when I’m writing.
Excellent recap! Still boycotting the evil channel – don’t even watch when they toss out an oldie/goodie to trick us to watch.
So many dastardly deeds and yet Syfy still manages the deep knee bends required to win the World’s Most Evil Limbo Contest. I’m still mad that they dumped the Battlestar games website, costing me my precious Viper that I spent months customizing.
I can’t believe the expanse as well. I heard Amazon may pick them up.
Amazon did pick up The Expanse a couple weeks ago
Lest us not forget.
The evil ones killed Dark Matter, The Expanse AND 12 Monkeys, by giving it only one more.
Making matters worse, SYFY gave 2 more to Killjoys?! On the same day.
Schizophrenia is a real condition and can be managed with medication and treatment.
I’m not knocking Killjoys. But I knew Dark Matter, The Expanse and 12 Monkeys and I’m sorry KJ is not on the same level.
Capitalizing on SYFY originals is one thing. Cancelling shows with that are truly original and creatively stunning is another.
This always makes me consider these lyrics of truth:
“Art as expression –
Not as market campaigns
Will still capture our imaginations
Given the same
State of integrity
It will surely help us along
The most endangered species –
The honest man
Will still survive annihilation
Forming a world –
State of integrity
Sensitive, open and strong.”
– Neil Peart, Rush
“Natural Science” from Permanent Waves
Ferrous Corp. (Dark Matter) and of course the Trust & Rogue NID (Stargate) are pretty nefarious.
Syfy is the most evil of them all!
I feel like forcing you to kill off One was the first shoe to drop in terms of Executive Meddling/Screwed by the Network and cancelling the show was the second shoe.