Dear Gordon Ramsay, Joe Bastianich, and Gordon Elliot,

THIS –

1– is a macaroon, while THIS –

1  – is a macaron.

MACAROON –

1MACARON –

1They are two strikingly different desserts in terms of taste, texture, and appearance.  I can cut a fledgling home cook some slack for getting the two confused, but you guys should really know better.

Alright.  Now that that’s out of the way, I need your help.  Next weekend, I’ll be heading down to L.A. to help celebrate Golden Boy Martin Gero’s birthday by eating all of his food, getting really drunk, and cooking his throw pillows in his back yard pizza oven.  In addition, I’ d like to get him a gift.  I know, I know.  My presence should more than suffice and, while true, I thought it would be nice to get him something anyway.  But what?  Presumably, if he really wanted something, he’d already have it.  So what do you get a guy who has everything he seemingly needs?  Simple.  You get him something he doesn’t know he wants.  So, in your opinion, what would that be?

1 Look at him, all suave and relaxed, dressed like a hit man in some British indie gangster flick.  What do you get someone like this?

 Do you think he’s already got one of these?

1

Or one of these?

1

Or maybe something for his dog –

1

Weigh in with your suggestions!

Thanks to PBMom for the update on Woody’s son: “The transplant surgery was a success and now they wait and hope it takes (i.e., there is no transplant rejection) and he does well on the immunosuppression therapy.”  Great to hear

43 thoughts on “June 27, 2013: MasterChef screws up macarons! Let’s all chip in and get the Golden Boy something nice!”

  1. I’m terrible at presents except for people I know well, so I’m afraid I can’t help.

    Good news about Woody’s son. Sending positive thoughts to Woody and family.

    Reply

  3. How about a paint gun, or a massage/spa appt, any of your extra scotch,(stuff you are not leaving the sitters). A garden gnome, years supply of chocolate, a home cooked meal, whatever you all get him, he will like. And take lots of pictures( hopefully some u can share) .

    Reply

  7. This month’s Food Network magazine had a response to a letter about last month’s issue regarding the spelling. The magazine insisted that macaroon was an “English” spelling of macaron. It made me think of you when I read it – and raise my eyebrow. I’m with you on the spelling/what’s what.

    Reply

  8. How about a magnum of scotch? A magnum of champagne? A magnum of bubble bath? A night’s accommodation on the Queen Mary! That’s the ticket! And buy him a captain’s hat he can wear as he embarks on a turn of the century voyage that doesn’t go anywhere! Think of the ideas for scripts that will bounce around in his head. Here is the link to the info: http://www.queenmary.com/

    Reply

  9. Birthday gift? How about getting him a nice bottle of something alcoholic Joe? It’s simple, it’s effective, and it shows you care.

    Reply

  10. For the golden boy, By all means, the personal TP roll holder that dispenses tissues for many purposes…like that runny nose.
    Other possibilities:
    – autographed copies of Dark Matter
    – autographed picture of you and Akemi
    – autographed picture of you, Akemi, and the puppies

    on the matter of macarons:

    Hey…JeffW and Sparrowhawk

    Found St Roger Abby – bakery in Vernon Hills Hawthorn mall.

    They have 18 different types of macarons.
    ALLLLLLLLLLL scrumptious!!!

    They also have other pastries….
    did not sample … yet. LOL

    Reply

  11. I’m leavin’ on a jet plane
    Don’t know when I’ll be back again
    Oh babe, I hate to go

    Gotta go to New Jersey on business for the next couple of weeks. Hopefully I will be reading here but not sure about how much commenting. See you in and out…

    For Gero, something golden of course. Maybe some golden cuff links shaped like a boy…golden boy…get it… Maybe a golden money clip for that wad he carries in his pocket. Maybe a golden tie clip shaped like the stargate.

    Later gators… 😀

    Reply

  13. The best thing to get someone wealthy enough to buy whatever they want is something they’re not allowed to buy, like military flashbang grenades or tasers or just go with gift card route and get him a hostage or two so he can make his own demands.

    Reply

  14. Hmmmm, the gift.

    I wish I knew Martin better. He seems like a really energetic guy full of enthusiasm, so the gift should compliment that energy. I was going to say Ferrari or sports car, but then I have to remember that’s probably outside the budget.

    You can’t go wrong with a Starbucks card… coffee is how I survived film school last summer. Then again, it’s a little generic.

    The dog umbrella seems like the best fit so far. 😉

    Major D.

    Reply

  15. Unless he lives in LA, because then he’ll only use it once a year for the annual California drizzle…. :S

    Reply

  16. get him a book. what does he like to read?
    does he cook? get a cook book.
    does he have a place he’d like to visit? get him a book on that country or city.
    does he have a favorite bread of dog (or cat)? get him a book on that subject.

    Reply

  17. One of three things:
    A complete set of Adventure Time blu ray discs. The greatest animation ever. A complete set of Archer blu ray discs. A close second.
    A 10 hour mix of Jake the dog singing ‘Bacon Pancakes’ – New York version:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_clEa2pKPu0
    Put on a media suitable for his vehicle, ipod or ipad so he can listen to it at his leisure.

    Reply

  18. Golden shoes so the golden boy can be golden from the top of his head to the tips of his toes.

    Second place goes to the dog umbrella, possibly with a golden handle. 😀

    Reply

  20. Maple candied bacon. Its Canadian! Its bacon! It isn’t Canadian bacon! You can’t go wrong.

    Reply

  21. Have you looked at Etsy? Lots of unique, one-off stuff there:

    For example, do you remember those Star Trek guns that would shoot little plastic discs? As kids we rapidly figured out those discs were the same size as pennies (you can probably see what’s coming here). Man, those pennies hurt when you got hit!

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/109748833/star-trek-phaser-rifle-retro-tracer?ref=sr_gallery_5&ga_search_query=star+trek+gun&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=all

    Or how about a steampunk nerf gun?

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/122864643/steampunk-gun-nerf-maverick-n-strike?ref=sr_gallery_2&sref=sr_2522eb97d7dee13825fe35b1630a4d979a302b4a9569bae9580306a8b81420e4_1372509298_14117223_gun&ga_search_query=sci+fi+gun&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=all

    As for the Marshmallow Gun, I ante up with this:

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/128638749/pvc-marshmallow-blaster?ref=sr_gallery_6&ga_search_query=marshmallow+gun&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=all

    At 200 feet range, you could probably stand in the front yard and bombard the back yard with marshmallows.

    Reply

  24. Well, Martin’s suit is certainly shiny. Perhaps one of these to keep it buffed up?
    http://www.canadiantire.ca/AST/browse/4/Auto/CarWashingCleaning/CarPolishers/PRD~0399053P/Jobmate+Palm+Polisher%2C+6-in..jsp?locale=en

    Also, the marshmallow gun requires a microprocessor in order to fire (up to) 5 marshmallows in 60 secs? That only one every 12 SECONDS! Apparently, I can calculate that faster than that microprocessor could. I notice it also warrants a choking hazard warning. Especially if you fire them directly down someone’s throat, I suppose. Hmmm.. *makes list*

    I would think the dogbrella would be more useful in Vancouver than LA. Lulu would look smashing with that accessory, I think.

    Don’t get me started on the macaron/macaroon thing!

    Reply

  28. Oh and that macaroon looks naked without chocolate. Wish I could get the French macarons here. 🙁

    Thanks Deni for the “flaccid” comment yesterday 😉 .

    Reply

  29. Happy to hear about Woody`s son – always good to hear good news.

    For Martin`s gift, how about some blue jello or some purple or green hootch from an off-world site or Lucius` gizmo to make him invincible, along with an earthly gift. That should bring back some memories of good times…

    Reply

  30. I can`t believe that these master chefs would not know the difference between a macaroon and a macaron. I know a 7 yr old chef in the making who makes excellent macarons as well as other gourmet foods – such talent is rarely seen in one so young. Unfortunately, his parents would probably want him to go into engineering of some sort. Both could be rocket scientists… and so it goes.

    Reply

  31. Ponytail‘s gonna be in New Jersey!! Woo! That makes something like half the blog posters here in the state. I think we should have a beach party! 😀

    Or, maybe I’ll just take a nap and dream about a party…it’s been that long of a week. 😛

    das

    Reply

  33. Think Geek sells a Star Wars Glowing Lightsaber Ice Pop Maker that might make a cool gift (sorry).

    Reply

  35. I’d get him the ’97 Blade Runner pc game, which allows you to play as if you were a replicant or human, and you can stand on your balcony while the Vangelis score swells and acid rain falls on future LA. Or get him Lego Deathstar and make him the envy of eight year olds everywhere.

    Does he have the Star Wars Force Trainer? It was the world’s first mind controlled toy, and since we’ll all be controlling our gadgets with our minds in another five years, Martin may as well start getting his force on:

    http://youtu.be/eCM47GHQEQs

    Reply

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