I’d like to begin this blog entry by thanking everyone for all of their wonderful comments. Over 235+ and counting!

Hey, I received a spam email today. What set this one apart from all the others is that this one came from, presumably, FBI Director Robert Mueller. And it was unwittingly sent to my dummy FBI Agent Wexler yahoo account! What are the chances? It was one of your run-of-the-mill “we’re holding an enormous sum of money for you and just require proof of identification to free up the funds” phishing attempt with a Federal Bureau of Investigation spin. Not particularly inspired but inspiring nevertheless. I wrote back:

“Hey Robert,

Thanks for bringing this to my attention. At first, I wasn’t sure why you felt the need to email me this information as opposed to simply walking down the hall and telling me personally. After all, I not only consider you a close pal and co-worker here at the FBI offices in Washington, D.C., but a facebook friend and exceptional dance partner. However, it was only after I gave your missive closer scrutiny that I realized something wasn‘t quite right.

An uninitiated observer would dismiss your email as the work of a fifth-grader, or a recent stroke victim, or even an imbecilic online scammer stupid enough to send his phishing attempt to an actual FBI agent, but my training allowed me to see through the seemingly laughable spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, and unwieldy sentences for what they really are: part of a coded message meant for my eyes only. I immediately set to work, deciphering the text’s hidden meaning –

“Anti-Terrorist and Monitary Crimes Division.” Would you be dimwitted enough to misspell “monetary“? Of course not. So what are you really saying here? Well, perhaps Monitary = Monitor! Someone is monitoring your communications! Rather than risk tipping them off by coming to see me personally, you have sent me this email instead. Gotcha.

“Six Million U.S Dollars has been transferred to an account here in United State Of America” United State? Brilliance masquerading as either sloppiness or stupidity! You are directing me toward a specific state. But which one?

“That is why we have decided to contact you directly to acquire the proper verifications and proof from you to show that you are the rightful person to receive this fund, because the above mentioned amount is a big amount of money, that is why we want to make sure is a legal money you are about to receive to verified that you are not involved with any money laundry” – The fact that this is a run-on sentence that ends with the term “money laundry” as opposed to “money laundering” tells me that you’re suggesting someone should be on the run (or is on the run) and head(ed) to Texas (which we all know is the state where the first Laundromat opened in 1934. Fort Worth to be exact).

“the fund have hit an account in U.S Bank” – Hit? The apparent inability to structure a simple sentence belies another meaning cleverly hidden. A hit! Some sort of assassination attempt! The pieces are falling into place.

“right now we have ask not to release the fund to anybody” – The missing word is “you” as in “we have to ask YOU not to release” which tells me not that you’re a halfwith, but that I am the target of this mystery hit. Oh, Robert, thank you for warning me!

“We have asked for the above documents to make available..” You use the word “make” rather than “made”, present tense rather than past tense, suggesting not that you’re an idiot who can’t even be bothered to proofread his email, but that time is of the essence!

“So to this regards you are to reassure and proof to us…” Genius! This one demonstrates such exceptional incompetence that, at first glance, one might assume it was written by a monkey hitting random keys on a laptop. Which is exactly what you wanted me to think! You’re telling me that my contact in Fort Worth will be disguised as a primate – an intelligence agent disguised as an unintelligent animal just like your seemingly unintelligible ramblings conceal highly sensitive intelligence. Layers up on layers!

Finally, the last sentence “If you fail to provide the Documents to us, we will charge you with the FBI and take our proper action against you for not proofing to us the legitimate of the fund you are about to receive.” reads like it was written by someone who has suffered serious brain damage, a suggestion of an infirmity brought about on by an accident. Like…a limp perhaps?!

I think I’ve got it! I’m headed to the Forth Worth Texas zoo where I will lay low and be contacted by a primate with a limp who will give me further instructions.

In the meantime, I’ve forwarded your email address to Interpol and the CIA who have already been alerted and are commencing their own investigation into the matter.

I’ll see you when this whole thing blows over. Until then, save me the first dance.


Agent Wexler” 

I’d like to end this blog by pointing out that we’re counting up toward the one millionth VISIT so, really, the extra commenting is unnecessary and won’t get you there any sooner than simply dropping by to read an entry. If, on the other hand, you’re looking to be the first person to comment after that one millionth visit, then I suggest saving your finger-typing strength for later this weekend.

176 thoughts on “January 16, 2008: Spambot Alert!

  1. “……….your finger-typing strength for later this weekend.”

    How much later this weekend? Was your estimation of late saturday for the millionth visit including the wild amount of commenting that always happens after the announcemnt of a possible prize?

  2. Will there be an opening credit sequence set to music for the SG-1 movies (much like was done on the TV show)? Or will all the credits run at the end like movies sometimes to do?

  3. Just wondering, how can you tell who the million(th) visit will be from?

    Thanks for all you do, you keep my husband and I very entertained!

  4. “…..Texas………….is the state where the first Laundromat opened in 1934. Fort Worth to be exact.”
    Really? Cool.

    “I think I’ve got it! I’m headed to the Fort Worth Texas zoo where I will lay low and be contacted by a primate with a limp who will give me further instructions.”

  5. Yay, it’s great to hear from Agent Wexler again. I hope Robert gets back to him soon. Wexler deserves a promotion for his great deciphering skills.

    On the 1 millionth visitor prize:
    Will it be the name they comment with, or one of the winners choosing?

    And could you please tell me who the actor was in Spoils of War who played the main male Wraith (not Todd, the one who reported directly to the Queen and had some gill-like things on his neck)?

    (not sure if this comment was submitted before, sorry if it ends up as two almost identical comments)

  6. Andrea Leigh, I just noticed your comment. I think Joe always goes by the first comment after the millionth visit and he uses a tracker to figure out the amount of visits he gets. Is that about right Joe?

  7. Just popping by. I have worked at my new job 3 days and other than a too long commute (40 minutes – about 25 miles) each way, I think it will be fabulous. Oh, and less internet time but I guess they *aren’t* paying me to read Joe’s blog at work – who knew?

    Joe, I would have thought the “Six Million” dollars reference was pointing agent Wexler toward Austin (TX) perhaps – as in Steve AUSTIN – the six million dollar man? How could Wexler be so oblivious to such a clue?

    Lanteangirl (I think – I’m terrible at remembering names) but the implication in Spoils of War was that Teyla knew her baby was a boy from her sort of “mind meld” with him when they took over the mind of the Wraith queen.

    Counting the days to Friday (and the lucky millionth whateverperson!)

    WAMS352 (that’s for you Anne Teldy, but I don’t know how to bold myself, lol)

  8. Joe,
    I am laughing so hard over your email response to “Robert” that I have had to use my (asthma) inhaler. Thanks for putting a smile on my face (and taking my breath away at the same time!). Do you think it would be possible for you to write something like this for McKay in season 5?

  9. (snorting water through nose). There’s been a dearth of spam mail in your blog lately, so its good to see you managed to hook at least a small one. Watching you fillet the author of the missive, however, was still quite entertaining. And educational. The main lesson being, never ever get on the bad side of Mr. M. if you dont enjoy being cut into chum-sized bits.
    Two nights till Quarantine, which I am dreading just a bit. And of course, that much closer to the big 1 Million. I do hope you can manage a mailbag in the next couple of days; I’ve seen several questions in the comments I would like to see the answers to myself.

  10. Annz asked
    [[And could you please tell me who the actor was in Spoils of War who played the main male Wraith (not Todd, the one who reported directly to the Queen and had some gill-like things on his neck)?]]

    Your wraith was probably Scott Heindl. See http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0374311/ for pictures of him. I’d say his bone structure matches to the main Wraith as the other guest casts mentioned don’t.

  11. Brilliant deductions on the email! While you’re at the zoo, which animals will you be sure to visit first? I’ve always liked the penguins.

    Hey, look! I made butter chicken tonight for supper. It was delicious. I would like to thank you for the inspiration. Click Here To See a Picture of Said Butter Chicken on My Dirty Stove!

    I hope the link worked this time instead of sending you to a PDF file on educational reform in Brazil (which actually sounds mildly interesting…I did write a 30 page paper on educational reform in South Africa a few years ago. Good times!).


  12. 1. Is Major Lorne officially the second in command of the military on Atlantis?

    2. Did you catch the Sarah Connor Chronicles? If yes, what did you think?


  13. Cowabunga!! You are way, waaaay too devious. How nice to have a new role-model. – I think someone ought to commission you to write The Further Finaglings of Fezzini the Fathomless Fool-Foiler. (Or whatever less alliterative but more amusing title you prefer. But if you’d be so kind, please don’t take up that project until Shep and McKay are to the point where they’re bickering about whether a game of chess raises blood pressure more than does watching cute-chick holographic animes. – And please dedicate the book “To Emily, the emulator and admirer of adventurous alliteration.” *g*)

    (PS to Emily: PG-15 may or may not have posted somewhere about your collection of Tiffany’s greatest hits. Hehe. The remark may or may not have been hidden under some vague allusions to his Stargate flocking.) – PG-15: You had me laughing pretty hard with your comment to the effect of, “Look, we’re coming up on grid PG-15!” 😀 (I can hear the DVD commentary….)

    Extra commenting may not be necessary, but it’s usually fun. (For the writer, anyway. And often for other readers, as I’m sure you’ve observed many, many …. many ……times.)

  14. Wish I could do that, I just panic and delete.
    Just one question doses Daniel or Sam have the ancient gene natural or otherwise.

  15. Hey Joe, I was just popping in to thank you. I used to be an avid reader of actual books (as opposed to various blogs, fanfictions, magazines, etc.) In fact, when I was a kid my teachers once told my parents that my grades were suffering because I rushed through all of my work so that I could read.

    But I’ve realized in recent years that I could count the number of books I’ve read for pleasure with a little more than one hand. But, thanks to the Mallozzi Book(s) of the Month, I’ve read Time Traveler’s Wife, I just finished Alas, Babylon, and I’ve realized just how much I missed reading. I’ve been so caught up in TV and movies and the Internet that I’d forgotten just how good books can be and how real those worlds and characters can seem.

    So, yay for books, thanks for the reminder and I’m off to get caught up for next month!

  16. When you first started your blog, did you think it would eventually become so popular that you would soon be reaching the millionth visit mark or did you have no idea about whether the blog would be popular or not?
    I think giving out prizes might have helped (but only about .00000005%).

  17. or even an imbecilic online scammer stupid enough to send his phishing attempt to an actual FBI agent

    What was that sound? That smell? Perhaps someone spontaneously pooping his pants? LOL ooooooo Joe you are sooo mean hehehe..

    Why don’t I get spam emails like that? If I took it upon myself to respond to all the spam I get, I’d have one enormous..err appendage, a house full of pharmaceuticals and rolexes and cheap loans to keep me in debt until Joe has human kids (forever).

    (perhaps you can forward that spam to my email? I’d like to see it lol) or not…

  18. Somewhere, someone is now writing Agent Wexler/Agent Mueller fic and their dancing that dare not speak it’s name. God bless the internet and all who sail on her.

    I think your reply may have in fact been your best yet, and this isn’t even a suck up since the winning prize lays on luck of the draw and not sycophantic fawning and emotional blackmail. Which to be honest I’m kind of relieved about since my next step was holding a bundle of tiny puppies hostage and even I was starting to have qualms. I mean the feed bill alone was going to be ridiculous never mind sourcing chairs small enough to tie them to.

  19. I was wondering if the wordpress spam bots might be monitoring you with all of these “just trying to be the winner” posts.

    Q: I’m in a job where I get asked question after question, day in, day out. Sometimes when I’m done for the day and I get asked “What’s for dinner?” it’s just one question too many and it can end with me in the foetal position on the floor, rocking, muttering, “no more questions, no more questions…”.

    I’m getting to a point!

    I only have around 90 people in one day that may ask me questions, but it made me wonder how often, if ever, with your staggering comments totals, you feel like just yelling at everyone from this blog, “will you just leave me alone for a day please and quit with the questions!”

    Now that last rambling sentence could have been written by the primate with a limp from Fort Worth Texas Zoo.

    Looks like my Joe’s Blog Convention is a bust. Oh well.. even heated up the spa for everyone, it has a nice view 😉

    ~narelle from aus (sorry Anne, I’d been forgetting)

  20. My prediction: 999,997 hits…and the server goes down. POOF!

    *thousands of fans screech in horror and perturbation as their opportunity to be immortalised in an episode of Stargate Atlantis fades away*

    I not only consider you a close pal and co-worker here at the FBI offices in Washington, D.C., but a facebook friend and exceptional dance partner.

    So, did Robert Mueller dance the tango with Agent Wexler? The foxtrot? The lambada?

    Okay, bad imagery, maybe. 🙂

    …will the FBI hunt me down for this comment?

  21. Hey Joe,

    Did you see Family Guy’s “Blue Harvest” yet? It’s the Star Wars spoof and it’s hilarious. It came out on DVD yesterday. I remember you said you were a fan. 🙂



  22. @ iamza:

    Yesterday, you said:

    [quoting my reply to your post]”Editors miss so much these days that it read more like the author messed up which character’s POV he was writing and the editors just never caught it.”

    iamza replies: Um, no, I said nothing like that.

    That was in fact a direct, unaltered copy-and-paste excerpt from your original post – although admittedly, what I quoted was a small part of a moderately long paragraph (if memory serves, but I’m by no means certain about that).

    I’m completely unfamiliar with the work you discussed, so I have no views at stake as far as its quality or style is concerned. As a part-time editor, however, I felt the need to express a very different point of view regarding how much of a written work’s substandard content might be attributable to editorial error. I hope that clears up the matter.

    (Joe Abercrombie made some interesting remarks in his blog about editorial vs. authorial accountability, if you’re interested. The gist of his position is also that the author is ultimately responsible for his/her work.)

    anon, good nurse

  23. Hi Joe!

    After reading your post to “FBI Director Robert Mueller,” I’ve figured out your code!

    FBI Director Robert Mueller refers to Fox Mulder, with a double punch hint of Walter Skinner, aka Mitch Pileggi. Very clever – particularly that you knew I would figure out the true meaning!

    “Fort Worth Zoo,” which is the oldest zoo in Texas, founded in 1909, is obviously a mislead, because even though Ft. Worth is kinda cute, someone looking for a limping chimp would, of course(!), go to the Houston Zoo!

    As for the “limping chimp,” I knew even that was a red herring, so to speak, because what chimp would limp, except one suffering from bone loss due to time in space!

    The reference to dance is, of course, a reference to drinking. I’ll bring a growler of beer. Do you prefer porter or blonde ale?

    I will be waiting for you at Johnson Space Center, as instructed. 🙂


  24. I would guess the 1,000,000th would be picked by IP address and then an IP search done to verify the name and address. But that’s just a guess…

    You should see the “You All Washateria” in Houston sometime 😉 (Nothing special other than the name!)

    Love the Agent Wexler reply! Gotta wonder if they even understood it on the other end…

    Here’s a somewhat interesting demise for the winning character’s death: Somehow the Wraith have found a way to shield from the Asgard technology beam weapons and the only way through their shields is to open up a hyperspace window right on top of them (after all the safeguards have been safely nullified, that is.) A hyperspace-capable 302 is used much like the old V-1 “Buzz Bombs” and, being a prototype, still needs a human to pilot it. It’s a suicide mission, and no one will authorize it. Until said character saves the day with her or his life and severs the oncoming Wraith ship in two thanks to that hyperspace window literally ripping it to shreds as part of it tries to go into the window and part is severed from the rest of the ship. Or something like that once everyone rewrites it to actually work as a concept 😉

    That said, have y’all ever considered using a hyperspace engine as a weapon in a similar manner? If so, why wasn’t the concept used?

  25. Have been reading your blog for a while now, and just wanted to say I am enjoying it. I love the show, and I think you guys are doing a great job.

  26. Interesting. I wonder how many other folks besides me normally read your blog via a feed, and don’t click through. If all us RSS readers start clicking through, you might hit a million sooner than the weekend.

  27. How many different “people” do you have to “help” you fire clever quips and incendiary replies to the various spam-tastic people out there? I had forgotten all about your “inside man” with the FBI.

    When there’s a nationally recognized holiday during production, do you shut things down, or roll right through? I can see the actors and writers, etc. powering through, but what about the union laborers?

  28. Haha. I wish I got Spam some days so I could respond like this xP But I would probably never be so convincing or good. Tis a pity.

  29. Hmm, you’ve involved the CIA and Interpol – what about the RCMP? Or do you think they are part of the conspiracy???

  30. Keep a close eye on the Monkey; our contact in San Francisco was compromised…

  31. I’m trying not to take it personally, based on the vast amount of comments and questions you have to respond to on a daily basis, on top of your duties with the show and, oh, maintaining a life, but I just have to ask, why have you completely dismissed every question I’ve ever asked you? I only ask anything of you when when I’m honestly, deeply curious about things that I believe others in fandom might also be wondering (how many hours in a day on the new planet, whether/when Rodney might actually have a reaction — and at this point, even a normal-person reaction would be great, the fandom in general aren’t even bothering to hope for a Rodney reaction any longer — to Teyla’s news, etc.) and I’ve tried very hard to be courteous in my asking.

    Is this because of those recent rumors which indicate that the Viscountess Gelatyne is secretly plotting to take down Baron Destructo’s evil empire and claim it as her own? Because really, she’s all talk.

  32. Hey Joe! Have you ever read any of Thomas Harris’ books? Or seen the movie adaptations? What did you think of them (the books or the movies)?

    [this is my subtle way of hinting that I think we should read a Harris book in upcoming months]

  33. I have a confession, Joe. I have not been reading your blog regularly. After taking the time to catch up (AGAIN), however, I wondered why–I have missed reading your blog… and finding out how you’ve been harassing those poor spammers!

    Also, before I go, I personally am enjoying Season 4 of Atlantis immensely. Kudos to you and the rest of the Stargate team!

  34. Hi Joe,
    Great job on your analysis of the email, you should work for the CIA or something – unless you are (I didn’t mean to blow your cover!) I wish I got some emails like that…the good stuff, not just a legit offer for a credit card or something.
    Anyways, I’ve been meaning to ask you if you considered yourself a good writer while in school, or as an adolescent? Or did you hone in your skills later on?

  35. Jason Said:
    1. Is Major Lorne officially the second in command of the military on Atlantis?

    Wouldn’t he be the third after Sam (military commander, I think that’s what you call it) and Sheppard (second in command)? Of course, that would only be if one of the ship colonels didn’t show up.

    Um, Miss Teldy, are we supposed to be signing our names or something?

  36. As a non-Stargate related question, out of curiosity are the newspapers in Vancouer reporting much about the upcoming presidential election here in the U.S.? The way oil prices keep rising, some of the current contenders, if elected, may be tempted to either annex or invade Canada for the oil in Alberta…

  37. seldear Said:
    My prediction: 999,997 hits…and the server goes down. POOF!

    Oh man, that would be bad! It would be funny though.

  38. The word-twisting and semantic stretches in your spam-reply kind of remind me of some techniques I’ve, ahm, exploited for McGill English essays — though yours are definitely more intelligent and clever. Was the department quite as full of irrelevant semantics and academic BS when you were there?

  39. Hey, narelle from aus – I think the Joe’s Blog Convention is a brilliant idea. Joe, you can even sleep on my couch. (It’s a comfy couch – I know because I’ve been lying on it for the past two days with a virus). I think some quality-checking of the convention venue may be in order first, Narelle … I’ll be around on the weekend to make sure your spa is up to the standards of the discerning Mr M!

  40. Heh. And what if we just feel like commenting to be a smart-aleck? Not that I, um, make a habit of this…

    But anyways. Texas! Best state in the Union! Of course it would be hidden here. Ft. Worth, though? Ehh… Some parts of perfection are obviously more perfect than others.

    Anyhow, if you need someone to run distraction for you, let me know. I’m sure I can track down some needy college students in the area who are willing to work for a trip to the zoo.

  41. PS: Narelle – if we advertise the Blog Convention on MySpace I’m sure we can find at least 500 youngsters looking for a fun time!

  42. Hey Joe,

    Are you going to be doing any commentaries for season 4, it seems like on the commentaries the writers of the episodes in question seem to give the most interesting information so i’d love to hear more about some of the episodes you wrote.

  43. anon, good nurse Said:
    (PS to Emily: PG-15 may or may not have posted somewhere about your collection of Tiffany’s greatest hits. Hehe. The remark may or may not have been hidden under some vague allusions to his Stargate flocking.)

    I can honestly say I have no clue what you’re talking about. 😛

    – PG-15: You had me laughing pretty hard with your comment to the effect of, “Look, we’re coming up on grid PG-15!” (I can hear the DVD commentary….)

    Glad to have entertained! 😀 But seriously, even if I don’t win…come on Joe, just use it. PG = Pegasus Galaxy. That’s all you have to do to rationalize it! It’s not favoritism…it’s abbreviationism!

  44. Hey Joe,

    Nice reply to your spam e-mail, talk about a bit of irony. 🙂

    Just curious, how do you ‘tell’ who the millionth visitor is, since it’s not based on comments?


    – Enzo Aquarius

  45. What a coincidence. Just today I read about a scammer who was convinced by someone to handwrite an entire Harry Potter book. Let’s see if I can get a link right.


  46. LoL! More’s the pity they probably won’t read or appreciate your brilliant deciphering.

    Missed your pictures today. 🙂

  47. And I was so looking forward to making another pointless post.
    Wait, I made one anyway.

  48. Not comment? Not possible!

    Seldear stole my witty dance remarks. I’m going for it anyway. Latin or Ballroom? Disco? If the writers’ strike continues, will we soon be seeing original reality programming such as Dancing with the FBI?

    I don’t get much spam, last thing was a paypal spoof. Apparently I bought a nice PDA on eBay. My firewall wouldn’t let me link to the phishy-susphicy site. Alas. If only I had the chance to mock a spammer the way you do. Even the board where I’m a moderator no longer sees good spam after our Dork installed a spambot screening modification. I miss The Many Racks of Jessica Alba.

  49. I LOVE your blog responses, but this one has to be one of my favorites, perhaps because I love anything remotely spy-like. Thanks for the laugh before bedtime!

    If there’s a response PLEASE post it!

  50. Sorry to bother you (and mess up count of your comments), but I forgot to ask you one more thing. Do you have/have you heard of the Kindle? It’s an amazing device, doesn’t look like you’re reading a computer screen, and I love the fact that when somebody recommends a book you can buy it on the spot. It seems like the perfect device for you!

  51. Hello Joe,

    What do you know! Yesterday I got an email from the FBI news alerts entitled (Alert: Scammers Sending Fake FBI E-mails Seeking Personal Information) telling all about the latest Scams using the FBI LOGO and letter head. See http://www.fbi.gov/cyberinvest/escams.htm

    I was going to send you the link to read about…to late! You were already spammed! As always, your response was outstanding, clever and hilarious! Keep up the good work…

    Hey may be you can get the wraith to send Rodney an intergalactic scam email with a hidden virus and when he’ll respond in a similar, sarcastic manner it infuriates Col Carter, who has to put out a policy memo to all reminding them not to open spam emails. Good for a bit of admin banter to fill a episode which comes in short!

    Still wondering if you’re going to the Vancouver 2008 Convention???


  52. Hey Riley, and to think that party genius with an IQ not even in whole digits is being offered jobs! Maaaaaaan.

    OK – we have two for the convention. Location – Eltham, Melbourne, Australia (20 mins from Melbourne airport is handy too for those wondering) – we could include a day trip to all the wineries around here as part of the convention. Could get messy but it would be very amusing as people start wearing grapes on their head pretending to be some long lost species from Uranus. After that much wine it will be the only planet referenced… followed by childish giggles.

    Joe, you might have to come in disguise to avoid any hassling and never ending prattling about storylines you should do (wait I’m prattling now, sorry!), maybe you could come as Paul..

  53. I for one have no shame is saying that I’m here to participate in the contest! Pick me! Oh, oh…pick me! 🙂

  54. Hi, Joseph, I wanted to congratulate you on all those well-written Stargate Atlantis stories- it shows the mark of a good writer and of an imaginative mind.

    I also wanted to ask you if you know whether Michael the Wraith is returning for Season 4(miss him already) or maybe for Season 5. He is an interesting character full of potential and ready for limitless expansion- rather like Kolya.


  55. First, congratulate me. Yesterday I learned that I was selected for the position I interviewed for about 4 weeks ago! I am very pleased. I have a lot of work ahead for me this year, balancing running my store with this new position and all the travel involved, but I am up to the challenge.

    Second, I grew up in Ft. Worth, TX, and it is a lovely city. I live in Dallas now, but much prefer FW. The Ft. Worth Zoo is actually an excellent zoo and is across the street from my absolute favorite place in Ft. Worth…the Japanese Gardens located inside the larger Botanical Gardens complex.

    And for a little more local flavor, the Ft. Worth Stock Show and Rodeo is going on right now. My Dad used to take my sisters and I to visit the animals when we were wee ones. I’m on vacation next week. Perhaps I’ll turn the tables and take him to the Stock Show.

    Visit http://www.fwssr.com for more info on this Ft. Worth tradition.

    How did this turn into a PSA for the city of Ft. Worth?

  56. hey joe
    how you been? The candy aisle is the place that i had checked out previously which was $6 (re the galaxy chocolate bars from england) But never mind i shall just have to get a food parcel sent from england to help me survive. I will even drop some off for you so you can try, i only live up the road.
    Now i have a weird request/question for you. I may have said before that i am at VFS studying acting. Today i recieved an assignment for text analysis which was to pick a favourite film or tv series and analyse and breakdown the film/ep in terms of direction, acting, lighting, music, cinematography, special effects etc. Anyway my first thought was of course to breakdown an episode of stargate. My problem is that there is so many to pick from that i am having a hard time picking which one to do. So my question for you is which episode of sg1, for you, is the most interesting from an analytical point of view. Not necesseraly the best but the most interesting for sure in the way you can break it down.
    Thanks in advance
    ps if you dont want to answer that on here an email would be very warmly welcomed. You hav that right?

  57. Who knew my state was famous for laundromats? Ah, the things they don’t teach you in 8th grade Texas History.

    In other news, I am sick. Sick, sick, sick. All I want to do is go to bed and not wake up for a day or two, but I can barely breathe and my head is pounding. Tylenol Cold, please kick in soon!

  58. Meredith Rodney McKay.
    My tricky nerd — a demo, eh?
    Dreamy mockery hinted;
    Ace (dorky?) rhyme minted.
    Ye drank; memory itched…
    A merry monkey ditched.
    Ye merry mink! Do detach!
    In my odder key rematch.
    (My kin create odd rhyme)
    My cranky Rod, heed time!
    Odd rhyme: A trick enemy;
    Him, mercenary Todd: key!
    Redye thy demonic mark.
    A mythic omen: re-dyed ark.
    Radek minced my theory!
    O, he damned my trickery.
    Amended trickery, oh my!
    Candy? Eek! Hmm. Try or die!
    Code: Mayhem. Irky trend!
    My theory, Ed. – karmic end.

    (this is what happens when i cant do anything all day but play with an anagram generator…)

  59. That just made my day. How do you wind up getting so much spam? I have 6 different e-mail addresses and never get any. Not that I’m complaining.

  60. You get the funniest spam email.

    You mentioned earlier that Fantasy is not your favorite to read. I’m curious, have you ever tried any books by Andre Norton?

  61. Katie S thanks for posting the link to 419.
    While he doesn’t have the wit of Joe (today’s would have to go down as one of the best – and yes I understand that schmoozing in no way effects the results of the latest contest) the way that he strung them along was extremely well done.
    ~Narelle from aus

  62. PMSL. Just what I needed after the week I’m having. The sad thing is that your incisive response is COMPLETELY over the heads of the numbwits that send out these emails, but never mind WE appreciate them.

  63. Seems kind of busy around here.

    I was wondering if the writer’s strike goes on for a long time *grumbles* and Carl has to stick with the picket line…will each writer have to do an extra script workload wise or will you have a guest writer added to the staff if things look bleak?

    You know its odd, I see funds for all the writers who went on strike by choice, but who’s helping all the production crews who are being laid off I wonder?


  64. Hi
    what will happen to SG-1 after both movies are done?
    Is there a chance in future to see new episodes on TV? Or is it finaly over? 🙁

  65. Hey Joe. How does the site let you know who the millionth visitor is. Do we have to be signed up to a blogging site of our own or anything?

  66. Anon, good nurse, that may very well be a direct copy-paste quote from someone’s comment on The Crooked Letter, but it did not come from me.

    In fact, checking back, it turns out that fsmn36 was responding to my comment, and made that observation, so technically you should be attributing the quote to fsmn36.

    The full comment, for the sake of completeness:

    On January 15, 2008 at 9:57 am fsmn36 Said:
    iamza said: and then, as the realms moved closer, beginning to overlap in single chapters, and finally with the occasional mention of Seth’s name showing up in Hadrian’s POV section of the chapter and vice versa. For me, that added to the sense of urgency, and the building climax.

    I couldn’t help but comment on this. I am fascinated that you liked that bit. I hadn’t thought about it as a literary technique to create ‘a sense of urgency’ when reading, which is probably what he was going for and an interesting concept. But I found it threw me out of the book. Editors miss so much these days that it read more like the author messed up which character’s POV he was writing and the editors just never caught it.


    So, mystery solved.


  67. Hello, why you don’t show a counter of visits to your block. 😉

    OK, yes, you’re right, I only leave a comment to win the price. 😉

    I hope I will read oftener in your BLOG now.

    Greetings from Germany.

  68. Okay, it’s been decided, we’re having the convention in Australia, not the least because it’ll be a hell of a lot cheaper for me to cross the ditch. After my round the world trip of bankruptcy I might even have the airpoints (I’m even coming to Vancouver as part of it, so if you could let me know the names of the Security guards who will be beating me as I try and scale the fence at the studios it will make it a much more personal holiday experience).

    At this point I think I’m clicking on to this blog and literally elbowing small children out of the way in order to try and win. I should probably be deeply, deeply ashamed, and yet…I can now safely say that SGA has driven me to an existential crisis and a realisation that I really am a horrible human being. Out of my way kiddies, my NAME could end up on the telly!

    Plus hey, there’s a watch.

  69. Ah, Joe, I haven’t been online much the last week, but look what I see when I actually get to spend some time here again. Thanks so very much for the laughs!

  70. Hey, watch the stroke victim jokes. Just because a person has some trouble communicating after a stroke doesn’t mean they’ve suddenly become stupid. Though I suppose the results are different for different people and I’m being unnecessarily sensitive.

  71. Hey Joe,
    I love your responses to spam email even more and more everytime! Great stuff!

    I have a question that is probably already been asked or is stupid but either way, it’s been nagging me for a while.
    During season one in Letters from Pegasus, Sheppard and Teyla went to that planet and Sheppard saw that great blue light coming from the ground into the sky.
    What was it? And will it be featured again.

    I apologise in advance if this is a stupid question haha
    All the best

  72. Hey Jo’ !

    I receive too a lot of spam mail ! Like I won millions of dollars or a little girl is very ill and i have to give dollars or €uros…etc…
    So you answered a very long mail ^^ Agent Wexler against FBI !

  73. Well, if nothing else, your contest has inspired many new visitors to your blog! 🙂

    So can I share your response with some friends of mine who work for the FBI? They’d find it hilarious, I’m sure.

  74. Hello Joe!
    A quickly question:

    Will the replicators appear in the season 5??

    If the answer is yes, that means Torri will apear too?? Or, she will have another story arc?


  75. Wraithfodder, thanks for the link, but Scott Heindl doesn’t seem to be listed as for Spoils of War. And without the Wraith make up (and gills), I can’t tell if that’s an oversight or not.

    Riley, HA on the myspace thing. We’d just have to make sure everyone else living in the elected house was away for the weekend. And wear pseudo-80s fashion.

  76. Hey Joe!! I hadn’t been in for a bit but came back to see you had butter chicken yesterday…I made it for the family for the first time tonight for dinner. I think it was a hit with the hubby but junior didn’t like the skin!
    I was just wondering if you have ever been to Australia and if you intend to come on down for a holiday someday.
    Hubby and I would love to cook you up a nice Aussie bbq!
    How do you prefer your steak?
    Also, have you ever had Pavlova cake or Lamingtons?
    Oh and the kids want to know if you have ever eaten a Jaffa (it’s a lolly by the way) or Tim Tam biscuits?
    Take care Joe and have fun! ~ Chelle

  77. Oh no! Please!! Last time I read so much about Spam on this blog it disappeared for some days (and had me crying in my pillow until I found it again here).
    I was staying at my parents house then and had a hard time explaining to my Mom why I read the diary of a Canadian guy with pugs. I tried to convince her that this is just related to my favourite show on TV and that You are in fact married (and too small for me, sorry!, not that I care, sorry again.) But she is still giving me that look…
    I was wondering where all those Germans suddenly came from in these comments. Found out today that STARGATE-PROJECT spilled the news about the new givaways yesterday and tells people that all they need is an email-account and three words of English, to write a comment.
    I am really really really sorry for You!
    Trotzdem viele Grüße an alle deutschen Stargate Fans!

  78. Meening to say: I am feeling really really really sorry for You.
    Greetings to all German Stargate fans, though!!

  79. Wow, you did exactly what I would’ve done – emailed back using extreme sarcasm.

    You, my friend, have my respect. 🙂

  80. I have no clue how I stumbled on this blog, but it gave me I good pre-work chuckle. Good word association.

    Now I know which one of you guys writes the more upbeat, comic based episodes of Stargate.

  81. I agree…I have no shame in commenting, solely for the sake of the contest.

  82. Dear Joe,

    Oh dear, I think that this one is your all time best one : “…and head(ed) to Texas (which we all know is the state where the first Laundromat opened in 1934. Fort Worth to be exact).”
    Great laughter
    Thanks for this one.

  83. LOL Ahh, Agent Wexler. The last true cyber-hero. 😉 Which makes me wonder what he looks like in a tux, or even a good suit. He must be very light on his feet if he’s that good a dancer! And likely a crack shot, too, which would compliment his sharp mind. *chuckles* Never fails to entertain when you get spammed, Joe.

    *raises my coffee mug in salute for a good morning chuckle* I think you should add to your anti-spammer arsenal a columnist writing advice for the lovelorn…

  84. Here are some little known, very interesting facts about Texas .

    1. Beaumont to El Paso : 742 miles
    2. Beaumont to Chicago : 770 miles
    3. El Paso is closer to California than to Dallas
    4. World’s first rodeo was in Pecos , July 4, 1883.
    5. The Flagship Hotel in Galveston is the only hotel in North America built over water.
    6. The Heisman Trophy ws named after John William Heisman who was the first full-time coach at Rice University in Houston .
    7. Brazoria County has more species of birds than any other area in North America .
    8. Aransas Wildlife Refuge is the winter home of North America ‘s only remaining flock of whooping cranes.
    9. Jalapeno jelly originated in Lake Jackson in 1978.
    10. The worst natural disaster in U.S . history was in 1900, caused by a hurricane, in which over 8,000 lives were lost on Galveston Island .
    11. The first word spoken from the moon, July 20, 1969, was ” Houston ..”
    12. King Ranch in South Texas is larger than Rhode Island .
    13. Tropical Storm Claudette brought a U.S. rainfall record of 43″ in 24 hours in and around Alvin in July of 1979.
    14. Texas is the only state to enter the U.S. by TREATY, (known as the Constitution of 1845 by the Republic of Texas to enter the Union ) instead of by annexation. This allows the Texas Flag to fly at the same height as the U.S. Flag, and may divide into 5 states.
    15. A Live Oak tree near Fulton is estimated to be 1500 years old.
    16. Caddo Lake is the only natural lake in the state.
    17. Dr Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. There is no period in Dr Pepper.
    18. Texas has had six capital cities: Washington-on-the Brazos, Harrisburg , Galveston , Velasco, West Columbia and Austin .
    19. The Capitol Dome in Austin is the only dome in the U.S. which is taller than the Capitol Building in Washington DC (by 7 feet).
    20. The name ” Texas ” comes from the Hasini Indian word “tejas” meaning friends. Tejas is not Spanish for Texas .
    21. The State Mascot is the Armadillo (an interesting bit of trivia about the armadillo is they always have four babies. They have one egg, which splits into four, and they either have four males or four females.).
    22. The first domed stadium in the U.S. was the Astrodome in Houston .

    Just thought I would throw these in!


  85. Will we find out why Sheppard is so uncomfortable with hugging? It doesn’t seem to be an aversion to touch, and he isn’t hesitant when it comes to romantic situations.

    Will we find out if the Wraith actually have names?

  86. Hi Joe

    If you could have a character named after you in any show, which show would you choose?

  87. Hello Joseph.

    Etonné de me voire aujourd’hui??snif je suis malade :[. Donc j’ai du rentré des cours plus tôt. Demain je ne sais pas si j’irais…..

    Bravo, pour tout vos com.

    Ps: je repaserais plus tard.

  88. Convention in OZ, hmm? Fun, fun, fun. I even have a place to stay there. Too bad I’m still procrastinating about renewing my passport. Tell you what, if you’re in Black Rock City, NV, hunt up my camp in Hushville and say howdy. We can go crawl the bar camps and nit-pick and theorize about Stargate. Nothing says intelligent conversation like free booze.

  89. Hi Joe,

    I have been reading on and off for a bit. I do have a question that I am unsure if it has been answered. What is the reason for the difference in the Ancients technology, you get that organic looking stuff like that head grabbing thing, the block looking technology like the time loop machine and the Atlantis tech, will this be explained or can I just different time periods?
    One last thing BMSR was an enjoyable episode and the series is getting more and more interesting, which has renewed my interest. I liked the take on the Fran character, would be good to see her again.
    Thanks very much

  90. Any chance for a hug between Shep and McKay similar to that of Jack and Daniel’s in “Need”? Flanigan and Hewlett could definitely pull this off.

  91. Hey Joe I am in California. Tell Carl to be at Disney Studios Friday afternoon if he wants to get the chocolate chip cookies I am makiing for him. I am shooting for after 12 but before 3. If he is not there I will never hear the end of it from my dad. Disney is in Burbank right I was told it is a bit of a drive from LA so he better be there. I am going to Disney Land today have you ever been there I have gone many many times since I was 2. Do you like Amusement Parks?

  92. oui..donc me revoila….comme je vous disais je suis malade…Roh c’est snif! Pourtant ma journée avait bien commencer……

    Ici depuis 4 jours il ne fait que pleuvoir, c’est triste…pleins de routes sont innonder.

    Quelque New économique (hum, je sais pas si vous aimez l’économie, mais moi j’adore!)

    -La Bourse de Paris se reprenait jeudi à la mi-journée, le CAC 40 avançant de 0,60%, et les opérateurs menant une chasse aux bonnes affaires sur les titres qui avaient fortement baissé ces derniers mois.

    -Les prélèvements obligatoires ont atteint un niveau record en 2006 avec 44,5% du PIB et la France risque de devenir le plus mauvais élève de l’OCDE en matière de dépense publique, selon une étude publiée jeudi par la société d’avocats Ernst & Young.

    Oh mon dieux, l’économie francaise est un désatre!!!

  93. Yes I also have no shame in saying, Pick me, pick me please! (Hand waving) And will you be using our real names or our log names? ‘Cause real names would be cooler.

    Having now watched Spoils of War, I have a few thoughts. If the Wraith troops are all clones, how do the Queens and other Todd-level wraith come into existance.
    Will we find out that there are little wraith out there, schools of mini queens and minions learning all the necessities of life, feeding, backstabbing and the basics of galactic domination. And wraith can feed on each other, make sense I suppose. They have a life as well.

  94. Hi Joe,

    I know you enjoy Anthony Bourdain’s “No Reservations” and I saw that they filmed in Vancouver for next week’s episode. Do you plan to catch the show to compare notes? I know this season he also visited Hawaii and I’m curious to see where he went.

  95. So your first ever blog got what 10 comments, not your averaging 100 per entry.. YIKES how do you find the time to read them all??

    I’m waiting paitently for my Amazon shipment of Feb’s book selections I’m only reading 2… hehe Hey who won the 2nd book with the discussion of The Crooked Letter??


  96. Bonjour Joseph,
    Quelle belle journée d’hiver ensoleillée nous avons aujourd’hui. Je me demandais si tu te considérais comme un nerd. Je me demandais cela parce qu’il est évident avec l’intérêt des nouvelles technologies et des avancements techno que les personnes qui hier étaient quelques peu ridiculisés (et là je suis pas mal gentille) sont devenu des personnes vraiment pop et même, et je crois que c’est le point le plus intéressant, les nerds sont devenues de nouveaux modèles de beauté et de sex-appeal. Vraiment étrange… lol Loin de moi l’idée d’insinuer que ta personne n’émanne pas la beauté, non, non. C’est juste que je trouve amusant que les souffre-douleur d’hier sont devenus les gens puissants d’aujourd’hui. Est-ce que tu te sens puissants ?

  97. That is great, Joe! I replied to many emails like this and I only got one reply. It was hilarious:

    “Dear Mr Wayne,
    Please do not forwrad this message to anyone that can get us in trouble. We’re are a legitament business and I asure you that this is not a scam and your money is waiting….”

    And then it goes on to repeat all that scam crap.
    Don’t you just love their stupidity? it entertains me for a while.

    Also, If wraith can feed off of one another, then in theory couldn’t they become a self-sustaining cannibalistic community? I mean they are already a highly unstable race, that only survives because of there numbers.

  98. Amz said
    [[Wraithfodder, thanks for the link, but Scott Heindl doesn’t seem to be listed as for Spoils of War. And without the Wraith make up (and gills), I can’t tell if that’s an oversight or not.]]

    It’s an oversight on IMDB’s part. I read the credits onscreen to get Scott’s name, so he was there 😉 And Scifi.com doesn’t seem to even list the cast anymore. Oh, Scott was also the wraith that sucked Larrin dry in “Travelers.”

  99. Joe said : “I received a spam email today.”

    I hate that ! Welcome into the club ! [Sorry for my english].

  100. I thought your decoding was hilarious…I had everyone at work laughing as I did a dramatic read.

  101. Bonsoir Joseph,

    J’ai lu quelque part (je ne sais plus où sinon j’aurais mis le lien ici) que vous (enfin pas vous spécialement mais les scénaristes d’Atlantis) avez pris la décision de tuer le personnage de Carter dans la saison 5.

    Alors je suis consciente qu’il ne s’agit bien évidemment que d’une rumeur de plus qui courre mais pouvez-vous, pour y mettre fin, nous dire si c’est vrai ou faux.

    Donc ma question est celle-ci : avez-vous (vous et les autres scénaristes) décidé de tuer Carter dans la saison 5 ?

    J’espère que c’est faux je ne vous le cache pas et j’espère aussi qu’on retrouvera Carter et Amanda bien sûr dans la saison 5. En fait plus la saison 4 avance et plus elle prend une véritable dimmension de leader et c’est très agréable.

    Bonne soirée Joe.

  102. Wow, what great prizes. I don’t know why anyone is complaining about the size of the watch. I would want to draw attention to it.

    Amazon’s pre-order price for the ‘Ark of Truth’ has dropped to $16.99 .

    I may post a few reminders over the weekend so everyone remembers to take advantage of this deal.

  103. That was hilarious! You can just imagine the kid’s reaction…

    Any chance we’ll see Agent Wrexler crop up working for the NID at any point? He sounds like McKay’s ultimate nemesis. 😉

  104. HAHAHAHA!!

    That Agent Wexler, such a kidder!

    Robert G.

    All kidding aside, I’ve deduced that Weir, or duplicate Weir might possibly reappear in Season Five, but will Carson Beckett?

  105. Hi, I read your blog every day but I very rarely post a commetn/question. If I promise not to comment on Sunday would you answer my question from yesterday?? (I have a really boring name anyway)

  106. So there I was reading all those posts, when all of a sudden I felt very claustrophobic all those people! Was I truly turning xenophobic?

    So I got to thinking, what would SGA’s phobias be?

    McKay—– Coulrophobia fear of clowns

    Sheppard—- Hellenologophobia fear of Scientific terminology.

    Teyla—-Maleusiophobia fear of childbirth

    Ronon—Taphephobia fear of being buried alive.

    Carter—- Kakorrhaphiophobia fear of Failure.

    Joe’s well his has to be Cyberphobia fear of Computers or blogs

    Mine is Phobophobia fear of Phobias. Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

    Want to find your very own pet phobia well now you can at this address.


    Yes fellow posters you to can live your life in fear of ….something!

    Pauline x

    Just a little silliness to while away the long hours of waiting for 1,000,000

  107. Okay so I spelt wile wrong, so for ‘while’ substitute ‘wile’, if you see what I mean.
    If not then leave as is or was!!!!!
    Dear god why do I start these things?


  108. Hey, P-Pup … Seeing the Mouse huh? Save up your pennies for a trip to Tokyo Disneyland. Very much like the California original, but trust me, The Country Bears Jamboree in Japanese is a riot! Of course, everything is more entertaining in Japanese.

  109. 1)Will what Teyla discovers in “Kindred” force her into making some difficult decisions?

    2)Does death play an important part in the rest of the season?

  110. Hey Joe,

    Do you ever get hate-mail? How does it affect you, if at all?

    Also, you have have a lot of patience if you read spam, seriously, they’re long, fake, and pretty much pointless, the penis enlargements ones are funny though…albeit disturbingly common.

  111. “On January 16, 2008 at 9:37 pm Maggie Said:
    Do you have/have you heard of the Kindle?”

    Maggie, it looks good but is only available for people in the USA.

    Joe, I know you like the feel of genuine tree bark in book form, but have you even tried to read an e-book?

    I come from a country where most books are imported and thus very expensive. In desperation I purchased a Palm PDA and now order online. It’s quick and easy. Now I can’t ever imagine going back to porting a huge book around with me.

    I mean… ONE book. My PDA has 10 books on it all ready and lined up for me to read!

  112. Hey Joe! I was just wondering if it was okay to repost the episode hints portion of your 2007/2008 SGA End-of-Year teaser poem in my own blog (http://age.livejournal.com) and keep the running tally of which episode goes with which line as you reveal them?

    Just for my own sanity’s sake, and to marvel at your literary prowess once we’ve gone through them all, of course.

    If I can’t, then I’ll head on back and take down the post and keep a txt file for myself 🙂

  113. At first, i´ll send you lots of greetings. And then i want to thank you. For bringing back Carson Beckett xD Sorry for my bad english, I´m from Germany but i want to leave an comment.

    Greez, Elena

  114. “Silver Said:
    ……. I don’t know why anyone is complaining about the size of the watch. ………..”

    Yeah, even though it’s a big watch it’s still cool. Also you could always use it to defend yourself (just throw at it the attacker’s head, he’ll be out cold in two seconds).

  115. Hallo
    The last Episode from Atlantis was very good, thank you for this good work, from a German fan.

  116. Hi!

    I was wondering, during the episode in season 3 The Return Part 1 (i think) when Teyla and Ronan are in Sheppards room and he is trying to get them to help him cary his stuff to the gate. At the end of the scene they all started smiling/laughing and Ronan trys to pick sheppard up. Is that something that was scripted or did they just do it at the end of the seen when the camera was still running?

    Either way, i love those kind of team moments, when they are all just hanging out. It just seemed totaly natural that they were doing that. I realy like it that you have had more of this in season 4, just seeing them all in the messhall together after a mission is great!


  117. Do you still think it will be late Saturday when the blog gets the millionth visit?

  118. Hi Joe, I see Dave Howe has been promoted to Pres of Sci Fi Channel — congrats to him! I don’t think you ever mentioned, who replaced Nora O’Brien as your Sci Fi “boss”?

  119. Hey Joe, thanks for today’s entry, it really made me laugh.

    I was just wondering if the part of Kanan had been cast yet? Rachel said she was hoping to have some part in the casting process. Will we get to see him this season?

  120. unless i am mistaken sheppard has not worn the new uniform the entire season, why is that?

  121. Bonne Nuit Joseph, je vais essayer de dormir. Passez une bonne fin de journée, je vous adore fort fort! Kisou Kisou.

    Ps(en rapport avec le commentaire de Morgia)

    Ahhhhhh Mais si! Joseph est le plus puissant de la planet, si je n’aurais pas un semblant de raison, je le prierais matin, midi et soir, je lui construirais une statue,je lirais 10 livres pas jours et je ferais même l’ascension pour lui!…..bon Ok je vais trop loin là… lol XD! (Mais…bon le pire c’est que c’est vrai..^^)


  122. I just love the spammer emails!!! Too funny, thanks for adding a good laugh to my day! For some reason I was reading your blog with the voice of “INCONCEIVABLE” Sicilian from the Princess Bride… humm, maybe I need counseling.. 😉

    Have fun,

  123. Whats with the lighting in Season 4 of Atlantis?? Is this how you wanted it to be??? or are the lights too much of a drain on the ZPM??? or is our crew just sensitive to bright lights???

  124. How come you get all the fun spam e-mails? It isn’t fair! Anyway, question time:

    I believe that you once mentioned that Jewel Staite would appear in seven episodes this season… based on the episodes that she has already appeared in and pictures here at your blog, it seems to be that she will, in fact, be in at least eight episodes. Why the reason for the change (assuming I am right)?

  125. Hey Joe,

    Do you ever feel ‘threatened’ by other shows such as smallville, that in a few years could get to Season 10 and beyond?

  126. iamza, my apologies for not having read more carefully, and thank you for setting the matter straight as to whom my reply should have been addressed to. Many thanks also for being gracious about my error and the incident.

    anon, good nurse

  127. Pauline, Sheppard may have a fear of Scientific Terminology but is there one for fear of Scientologists? Actually just a fear of Tom Cruise. Gives me the heebeegeebees.

    Poor Joe. I’m going to stop commenting because it looks like you are being inundated and I’d rather you here after this prize has gone off and not sent to an asylum (yay she’s gone I hear you say). With the word out in Deutschland, you had better brush up on your German.

    Dovil, I’ve added you to the attendees list for the convention. I’ll tell the hubby about this when everyone gets here. Spa is heating, our little pool is getting a spruce up (it’s warm here!) and the BBQ is firing. I’ll get the list of names for the current security guards at Melbourne airport so you can do some background checks to find their weak points.
    If you stop over in Sydney, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT joke with their security guards. I always get tested for explosives on my way out of Sydney and they do not appreciate jokes about my sex change and hair removal going well.

    ~ Narelle from Aus

  128. So I thought I should ask something not stargate related, that way maybe I’ll have a better chance of getting an answer. You have an interesting last name. Mallozzi. Where does it come from?

  129. Hi Joe!!

    I was wondering about something? Is McKay’s mother alive?? If I remember right from episodes, “McKay and Mrs. Miller”, he says to Jeanie “This is not what Dad would have wanted.” So my guess is their dad is not. If his mom is alive, will we ever see her?? Also, what is happening with the other Stargate series?? Hope your having a good week! Looking forward to Quarantine tomorrow night!!!

    Jen D. 🙂

  130. My little sister says that you should have Monique Coleman and Corbin Bleu (two of the actors from High School Musical) on the show as Satedans.

  131. Hey Joe, Pauline (and anyone else who feels like reading this comment)!

    Sheppard is the one with Coulrophobia, fear of clowns.

    I’ve named one of McKay’s phobia “Cetaceaphagophobia” – fear of being eaten by a whale. 🙂

    I like Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia, though I can’t pronounce it. It’s fear of the number 666.


  132. Have you ever played chess? If yes, do you like chess or do you wish that it would be outlawed?

  133. If the person who wins the contest posted a question in the comment that won, will the question be answered?

  134. I like Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia, though I can’t pronounce it. It’s fear of the number 666.

    Yikes, that’s long. That’s the word that should be in the fifth grade spelling textbooks 😉

  135. Mickey Said:
    Coleman and Corbin as Satedans is a nice idea

    Yes, it’d be good but I hope there wouldn’t be any dancing or singing. I don’t think it would go very well with the show.

  136. Mickey Said:
    Coleman and Corbin as Satedans is a nice idea

    Great. Now that my sister’s learned that someone’s agreed with her about Coleman and Bleu, she’s starting a petition.

  137. Hi Joe, Sorry I couldn’t join in the book review discussion set for the first week in Jan, but I was busy working 2 jobs, which is actually quite good for losing weight, especially after Christmas. The stunning weather helped – sorry I know you are probably knee deep in snow about now.

  138. On January 17, 2008 at 3:41 pm Elizabeth Said:

    “Yikes, giant rodents!”

    Could those be the famous ROUS’s?

  139. Hi Joe, not that this matters at all, but I’ve got a dilemma. Do I read your blog at WordPress, or do I read it at Blogspot? It’s tough. WordPress is so bright and hmmm… is sedate the word? It feels autumnal, and “writerly” (I just made that one up–picture the clichéd author with a mildly British and uppercrust accent, pipe in the teeth, and leather patches on the elbows of the tweed jacket). And yet at Blogspot, there’s familiarity, and that comfortable black with greenish theme, that says edgy, sci-fi cool. I suppose I can just keep doing what I’m doing now… reading both intermittently.

    Please wish me luck, I have a video game to design, and a title sequence to render, composite, and edit by Monday (coursework), and I don’t think I’ve enough in the past two weeks. There’s probably not enough caffeine on the planet to keep me awake.

    Also, I really like what you and your production team are doing with SGA. especially the depths that you are exploring in terms of characterization, especially with Teyla. Rachel’s performance was great and quite believable given the situation. I cried (well, my eyes watered) at the closing scene between Sheppard and Teyla. Great writing, great performance.

    Do you have plans to further expose skeletons in the characters’ closets. In the ten seasons of SG1, I learned a lot about the characters’ backgrounds families, friends, and enemies. With the exception of McKay, the Atlantis team seems very cut off from those connections on-screen. I know I shouldn’t complain. Atlantis = top-secret outpost… but can you get Sam’s boyfriend from 10th grade? (Kidding). Ok, so there are logical reasons for that, and there have been more character-centric episodes this season. Will we get more? I love the action, the geek in me loves the technobabble, but I really want to know more about what makes the SGA team tick.

    Anyhow have a great weekend,


  140. Hey Joe,

    I think it is really brave of you to reply to the nefarious spammers considering what happened to your last blog as a consequence. Oh well, its no problem to the rest of us. If you remember (because it was so long ago) we made our own fun 😀

    Still, is it disappointing to know that people are no longer coming here for you but shock! horror! for the prizes?! Is your heart breaking inside?

    But don’t worry Joe, there are some of us to who love you, truly. *shameless sucking up*

    Sincerely (coff)

  141. You know, I’d love to know what you do to get all this interesting spam. I get boring spam. Annoying spam. Not even delicious spam in a can. I must be doing something wrong. Hmmmm….

    Oh well. Lucky you.


  142. anon, good nurse said:
    PS to Emily: PG-15 may or may not have posted somewhere about your collection of Tiffany’s greatest hits. Hehe.

    I would like to clear my name of this accusation. Why would I own Tiffany’s Greatest Hits when I’m already in possession of all her albums (greatest hits or otherwise)?

    I just typed up numerous sentences incorporating the titles of Tiffany’s (genius) hit songs, but they were too cheesy and horrible, even for me. Which should really tell you something. Looking back at what could’ve been written is enough to make even me cringe. All this time, I’ve not been considering the sanity of others who read all the comments. After all, judging from the number of comments, I really *don’t* think we’re alone now. 😀

    Someone just shoot me now.


  143. Elizabeth wrote:

    Um, Miss Teldy, are we supposed to be signing our names or something?

    I suggested that everyone “sign’ his/her posts because the commenter’s name is very, very small and hard to see if you’re looking for a specific person’s musings.

    For those using Internet Explorer: Were you aware of ieSpell? From the IE website:

    IE Spell is a free Internet Explorer browser extension that spell-checks text-input boxes on a Web page. It should come in particularly handy for users who do a lot of Web-based text entry (Web mail, forums, blogs, diaries

    I absolutely love having it, especially the fact I can add words to the pre-programmed list. You can find out more on this page. I have absolutely nothing to do with the company that makes this, Internet Explorer, or Microsoft in general. I’m just a happy consumer.

    Anne Teldy

  144. Such a happy day for me! I was accepted into the University I wanted!!! *DANCES*
    Also Stargate’s on tonight XD
    Oh happy days ^^

  145. Belated congratulations on BAMSR, awesome episode!

    I have a question that has probably been answered before, (a quick search of the blog however, proved fruitless), which part of the 200th episode of SG1 did you write? Just curious. I loved that episode!


  146. Joe, How are you dealing with all these posts… Do you really read them all?

    Keep up the great work… This is the only blog I’ve read and I love it! Thanks


  147. Joe


    Wherefore art thou, Joe?

    Have the spambots kidnapped you again? (hmm somehow does not fit with shakespeare… oh well *shrugs*)

    How can you keep your followers hanging like this, Joe? Do you not know how we look to you for sustenance and snark? Come back……*sob*


    P.S. what a way to waste time, huh? 😀

  148. ok can you please please write a comment here on your blog in the comment section and tell me if you gave the message to Carl pretty please with suger on top or if you have my email send me a message if you could be so kind thank you.

  149. I keep getting an email from a guy pretending to be an FBI agent. Isn’t that against the law? Who can I send these email’s to, to report this guy? Any input is appreciated! Thanks.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.