It was while I was scanning the top shelf, looking decidedly undecided, that the saleswoman stepped up alongside me and asked: “Can I help you find something on your holiday list?” “Sure,”I replied, thankful for the offer. “Do you carry Wii’s?” She threw me an uncertain look – you know, one of those looks an uptight aunt might throw a child who’d used the word “boobies” during polite dinner table. But I suppose the reaction was warranted. I was in a cookware shop after all. “Ah, forget the Wii,”I followed up before she had a chance to respond. “Just get me that Cuisinart blender.”

And so, while I was unsuccessful in tracking down the gaming system Fondy so desperately wants for Christmas, I was able to get myself a new blender so that I’d never again have to use that stainless steel hand blender that sprays peanut butter and banana all over the counter top every time I attempt to make a post-workout smoothie. I also picked up the perfect gift for the lazy shopper: gift certificates! Each card entitles the lucky owner to a $50 dollars eyebrow waxing. How cool is that?

Aside from the Christmas shopping, I’ve been shuttling Jelly back and forth between home and the Granville Island Animal Hospital. The poor girl has a degenerative hip condition that makes it painful for her to do much walking (she’ll usually just sit at the bottom of the stairs and wait for me to carry her up to bed or sit by the couch and bark until I pick her up and settle her down on the headrest, her preferred scoping position) and she’s been limping more than usual of late. She also lost her appetite (which for a pug is highly unusual). Well, the blood work came back normal and after some treatment with Tramadol and Metacam, she seems a little better. At this point, I’m not sure if her reluctance to go outside or climb stairs without my assistance is due to hip pain or sheer laziness on her part. I suspect a little of both.

Also, welcome all to my new – mayhap temporary – home here on WordPress. Special thanks go out to Michelle who suggested the change of venue. Also, extra special thanks to Michelle who alerted me to the “import” feature that allows me to import by entire blog from blogger and effectively back-up my year’s worth of irksome ramblings. So thanks and extra special thanks, Michelle. Check out today’s extra special pic – just for you.

 

51 thoughts on “This Blog Held Hostage: Day Four

  1. Poor Jelly 🙁 Well, I work in healthcare and if Tramadol has the same effect on pugs as it does on humans, then it’s likely that she’s feeling a bit drowsy and doped out so that may be a factor in her reluctance to move far.

  2. Hi Joe, glad to see you’re blogging again! And I like the way WordPress displays your photos when I click on them. Maybe that’s just me.

    Nice shirt, BTW!

  3. i hope jelly gets to feel better real soon!does she just eat doggie food or does she get a little human food sometimes? because when my dog jake gets sick we fix him no lie chicken noodle soup and he sleeps alot then he feels better! just a thought. i love the shirt!

  4. I hope Jelly starts feeling better. My puppy is still relatively young clocking in at a little under 2 years old, so hopefully he stays healthy for a long time. How old is Jelly this year?

    Nice tribute to Michelle. I can’t say that I’m an official member of SCB, but I certainly respect and appreciate all their hard work. Awesome t-shirt too.

  5. Welcome back to the blogging world! My parents started carrying their little dog around on walks and hand feeding when he was sick. Three years later and my parents still hand feed the dog and they now own a stroller for dog. They converted him from a dog to a baby. lol

  6. Hummm, je me demandais si tu devais approuver encore les messages ou si on pouvait écrire nimporte quoi et que le message s’affichait directement. Alors je fais un test… En passant j’adore le gilet.

  7. Here’s hoping Jelly feels better soon.

    Also, random bit of news, but apparently the Sesame Street DVDs on sale in the UK have a sticker on them saying:

    “These DVDs may be unsuitable for children.”

    Why? Because of the Cookie Monster!! But not because he answers email spammers and sometimes fan questions, or even that he is a monster; no, it’s because he eats lots and lots of cookies!!! Really, what is the world (well, okay, the UK then) coming to?! If they are going to put warnings on, it should be “they mispronounce the letter ‘Z’ and misspell words”! (Ducks for cover from outraged Americans! *grins*)

  8. Oh and by the way, just to throw my weight in on the book club progress… I’m finding Time Traveler’s Wife really hard going… I would have put it down quite some time ago if I wasn’t reading it as part of the book club.. it’s just not holding my interest, so unless something drastic changes, colour me unimpressed…

  9. Eyebrow waxing? What!?! That’s kind of strange.

    Please answer this question. Is this description of what happened in Unending somewhat accurate? ‘The reason that there aren’t two Teal’c’s is that they were in a time dilation field (explained further below). What happened was this: Pretend you are watching a video where everyone gets older (or pretend you are watching ‘Unending’ 🙂 ). At the beginning of the video everyone is twenty. At the end, everyone is fifty. Now rewind the video, but watch it on the TV while it is rewinding. Everyone is getting younger, right? That’s the Time Dilation Field, going forward and back in time. In the episode the way they reverse the field is by using the Ori beam as energy. Someone has to stay old, so that he or she (it ends up being Teal’c) can tell original Sam to not start up the Time Dilation field in the first place. The reason that there aren’t two Teal’c’s is that old Teal’c, after choosing to be the one to stay old and give the crystal (that separates the Asgard info from their hyperdrive) to original Sam, stays in a shield/this thingamajig will not allow you to unage device, while everything in the field reverses (AKA the video rewinds). He then stops Sam from starting the device (essentially spliting into a alternate reality). So, in a nutshell, when they start the device everyone ages, when they reverse it everybody unages, except Teal’c, who was in a shield/field that didn’t allow him to unage and when he ended up in the original timeline he keeps Sam from starting the Time Dilation Field, which then splits them off into a different reality then the one where they all aged. So Teal’c is now fifty years older and remembers everything that happened in ‘Unending’ but nobody else does because when he stopped her from starting the device they split off into a new, different reality.’
    Thanks.

  10. Wow, I’m so honored! You’re very welcome. And may I say you look dashing in the tee-shirt. Almost as if it you were fated to wear it, absorbing the message into your core. We look forward to good news soon. 🙂

    Very sorry about Jelly. She doesn’t look so easy to carry around, poor girl.

    As for the Wii, you basically need to perform recon with your local stores, find out when new shipments are arriving, then line up at dawn for a chance at one. And they only come in bundled packages, so look forward to spending over $500… Very clever marketing, I’d say!

  11. Hi Joe,
    Great to be able to catch up on your last few days. Poor Jelly, :(, hope she feels better soon. When is your mom arriving, and any fun upcoming events to go to?

  12. Yay – you’re back in action! Love the grass at the top too 🙂 (or is it wheatgrass for your smoothie??)

  13. JOE WE MISSED YOU!! Glad your back!!
    Poor Jelly! I can relate, I have degenerative disc and joint desease and my hips are always killing me! I take tramadol for mine and it really does help. I can tell you that cold weather makes the hips hurt WAY worse than normal. I am in my 20’s and I feel like I am in my 70’s LOL I dont even attempt stairs myself!! I am not sure if its the same for dogs but walking everyday for at least 30 minutes makes a huge difference for me. Anyways sorry to prattle on but thought since I had something in common with Jelly I would share LOL! Hope she gets to feeling better!

  14. Sorry to hear about Jelly’s problems. But I can see a much bigger one if you dont come up with a Wii pretty soon. I would suggest changing the gift cards for one for a full body massage. Or several of them. That MAY placate your significant other at not getting her heart’s desire. Barring that, you may need them to sooth the pain of the beating she’s likely to inflict. Good luck with the shopping. At least you’ve ventured out. I’m preplanning my blitz raid to get all my shopping done in 3 stops and 60 minutes, barring the Baron unleashing some evil plot to disrupt the holidays…and THANK YOU for getting the blog up and running again! My insurance wouldnt have covered me staying in a sanitarium long enough to recover if I’d gone a few more days without a fix.

  15. Well thanks Joe. I asked for your advice and received nothing. I had to make dessert for a party without the advice of a scifi television producer. You know what I had to do? Ask David E. Kelly. (Whose Boston Legal features James Spader of Stargate feature film fame… see there’s a link.) And you know what happened? Do you? No recipe advice at all. He just kept suggesting wacky costumes and stunt casting. And I didn’t even get to meet Shatner. Complete waste of time, and I blame you, sir.

    PS… I made spiced cookies, flourless chocolate cake with raspberry sauce, and red wine poached pears stuffed with mascarpone. And you don’t get any.

  16. Hi Joe

    I have been lurking this past year and since you change over I felt I should come out to the woodwork to tell you how much I enjoy your blog.

    Next time out I will ask my questions

  17. Ok, 3 things:

    1. I’m not really good at comforting words, but I wanted to say something about poor Jelly. I really hope she gets better soon…and of course, hopefully none of the other dogs are picking on her at the moment.

    Yeah, not very good at it.

    2. The hints are piling up, Joe:

    a. Important news with regards to “that character” to be revealed soon.

    b. Mentioning in a recent entry that you were talking to Paul McGillion – a friendly chat, or an invite to come to Vancouver to shoot episodes for Season 5?

    c. Your mom’s favorite character is Carson. Come on, you can’t say no to your mom.

    d. And today, a Carson Beckett shirt.

    Carson’s coming back, isn’t he? I can feel it…

    3. Nice new design Joe! The blog’s looking good. I do wonder though, if, say, some of us were to gift you with your own website, would you accept it?

  18. I hope poor little Jelly is just lazy and not in too much pain.

    Maybe if you bought her a little doggie t-shirt (from Cafe Press/savecarson) to match your t-shirt she will feel much better.

    I am sure that your mother would appreciate a gift from the SCB range too. And what about your sister?

    Are we staying here or going back to the other site?

  19. Oh and the Wii s are as rare as rocking horse shit on this side of the ‘Lantic too.

  20. I have just read PG15’s comment about your OWN website. Brilliant idea.

    Imagine – Joe’s favourite recipes…oodles of food photographs. Adverts for your favourite eating places. Joe’s book club…in depth analysis of your favourite books.

    You could produce letters for others to send to scammers thereby crashing the scammer’s computers.

    You could continue your fight for world domination unburdened by site rules, for it would be YOUR site.

    (While typing this the Christmas tree was knocked over, a cat fell in a deep cardboard box and another tried to steal my bit of chocolate. It is so relaxing to have a furry bairn…..not!)

  21. PG15 (and Joe) – joemallozzi.com and josephmalozzi.com are NOT available.

    On the other hand josephmallozzi.net is available as is joemallozzi.net.

    PG, If you want a reliable website for Joe look to your side of the world. The company I work for here in South Africa has four (commercial) webites all hosted on http://www.Bravenet.com.

    However, they do free hosting as well.

    They’re cheap and reliable and are based on Parksville BC.

  22. lol Joe Awesome shirt!!! I’m glad the blogging is back in action -missed my daily fix 🙂 Sorry to hear that Jelly is feeling poorly 🙁

  23. Hello Joseph =)

    Super une mise a jours !!!!!! youpi!!!
    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh trop belle la photo de vous!!!!! en plus avec le tshirt “save carson” je fond** sa fera la premiere page de ma mise a jour de demain sur mon blog^^!

    Merci Michelle^^!!! grace a toi on peut avoir des newnew de ti Joseph ^^! oufff il etait temp je n’en pouvais plus!!!!
    ————————————————–
    Et pour répondre a morgia……Oui! il’ya une traduction en francais pour tout les site anglais sur google, du moin en france….mais la trduction est vraiment en drôle de francais lol, mais au moin j’y comprens certaine chose, tandis qu’en anglais je n’y comprend rien!!

    Ce blog traduit par google:

    http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=fr&sl=en&u=http://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/2007/12/15/december-14-2007/&sa=X&oi=translate&resnum=1&ct=result&prev=/search%3Fq%3Djosephmallozzi%2Bwordpress%26hl%3Dfr%26sa%3DG

    Oui, je sais , sa fait bizzzrd, pauvre moliére il s’aurait choquer de voir sa!!
    ————————————————–

    Sayééé mon blog a ateint les 40000 commentaire tout a l’heure!!! c’est super =)

    J’ai gouter une glace häagen Dazs tout a l’heure….et j’ai trouver sa franchement normal
    , moyen …j’en attendais plus.

    Vous avez une bonne marque de glace a me proposé?

    aller, gros kisou, a demain, merci merci =) Vive vous <3<3 Bonne fin de journée!!

  24. Joe,

    If you got to EB Games or GameStop between Dec 20 and Dec 24 and pay for a Wii in full, you are guaranteed a WII the first two weeks of Jan by Nintendo.

    If not I think Sunday is eh best day to get one at Target or Best Buy as Nintendo is sending a bunch for the weekend to mass retailers but you have to go in the morning. Wiis were tough to get during the summer let alone x-mas.

    I know I used to manage a media section at Best Buy.

    Now this is info is for the states not sure across the border.

  25. Should have the avatar up now.
    This is like a new home – it’s a bit bare, but we’re moving in and settling down.
    Hmm, I could get to like this Joe!

  26. I’ve read that Wii’s are going to be hard to get during the holiday season. You may have to throw around the ‘I’m Joe M., producer, writer and head-honcho type of Stargate Atlantis’ to someone who can get their hands on one for you.

    If you’re offering…I’m in the market for a cuisinart food processer. I’m about ready to staple the hint to my husband’s forehead.

  27. Yay! Glad to see your blog’s back in action, and in a new and shiny location, too.

    Now that you’ve figured out how to post pictures and archive your blogger posts, are you going to stick with wordpress, or will you be returning to the blogspot site when the spam silliness is sorted out?

  28. Joe it seems your fondest wish has come true, you are now officially a supervillian. Well ok so it’s only in the world of blogspot, but that’s a start isn’t it;)

    Glad to see you out and blogging again.

  29. Hopefully you will find the Wii soon (it’s almost Christmas, yikes!). If you don’t, do you have a back-up plan?

  30. Merci énormément Anaïs de m’avoir donné l’opportunité de rire autant ! Mon passage préféré ? Je crois que celui ci est difficile à battre: « Il a été pendant que j’étais à balayage le plateau supérieur, la recherche décidément indécis, que la vendeuse m’a renforcé côtés et demanda: “Puis-je vous aider à trouver quelque chose sur votre liste de vacances?” lol Houlala, j’en ris encore: la vendeuse m’a renforcé côtés ??? Joseph est-ce que tu t’es remis de cette attaque ? Non mais, se faire renforcer le côté par une vendeuse ça doit pas être évident !!! lol Ho, est vraiment bonne.
    Pour ce qui est de la crème glacé, moi non plus j’ai jamais compris pourquoi les gens aimaient tant cette marque, j’ai toujours l’impression de prendre une portion de shortenning quand j’en mange… La meilleure crème glacé c’est la crème glacé italienne. Quand j’étais à Rome j’arrêtais pas d’en manger à la banane et au morceaux de chocolat. À mon retour à Montréal j’avais qu’a aller dans le quartier italier rue Saint-Laurent pour en acheter dans un p’tit café italien pour en savourer encore. Pour ce qui est de la France je sais pas, mais je suis certaine que tu peux en trouver.
    Bonne soirée ! (merci encore pour les infos, je me tords encore de rire !!)

  31. Hey, you have a Save Carson Beckett shirt on! Does this mean he’ll be back in season five? That would be really cool. I’ve been trying to get used to Keller but she’s really annoying (my sister thinks so too). Also, will Jack be in season five (please say yes)? That would be cool. Thanks!

  32. Hey Joe
    Nice new blog. Can U tell us more about the Wraith?
    Have they a love life? Or jobs? What is with the hygiene? Have they a rest room? I think a Wraith must go pee too or?
    And how look the private rooms of the Wraith? Have they any hobbys, exept hunting on humans?
    Do they play anything? Have Wraith pet´s?

  33. “I have just read PG15’s comment about your OWN website. Brilliant idea.” – susanthetartanturtle

    Thanks, but it wasn’t my idea. I’m just the messenger. In fact, if it does ever come to fruition, chances are I won’t have contributed much anyway. I’m not good at fiddling around with websites.

    “PG15 (and Joe) – joemallozzi.com and josephmalozzi.com are NOT available.” – DeeinSouthAfrica

    Thanks Dee, but…uh…let’s just say I know why they’re not available, and it’s for a good cause. Trust me on this.

  34. Heya Joe,
    For WII…
    Check out your COSTCO/Priceclub if you are a member. That is a pain.
    Amazon.com did have them not too long ago.
    Cuddle Jelly…needed for pain.
    Really glad you are back.
    Best Holiday wishes to you, Fondy and the little ones running around.

  35. You scared the &%%*() out of me…. I’ve been traveling all week and I sit down today to catch up with your blog and see no post since Monday! I freaked out, Joe not blogging? I thought you were eaten by the dogs, kidnapped by Save the X character campaign or even worse, for a moment thought that Fondy had successfully succeeded to one of her attempts, I’m glad you are well and sorry to be late for the Rescue Joe Campaign.

  36. Okay PG, you seem a trustworthy guy, and as domain names are only about US$8.95 each I think I like your good cause 🙂
    Dunno if Joe actually wants to go the website route though, as you know they can be high-maintenance whereas blogger / wordpress etc are pretty stress-free.

  37. Steve said: Can U tell us more about the Wraith? Have they a love life? Or jobs? What is with the hygiene? Have they a rest room? I think a Wraith must go pee too or? And how look the private rooms of the Wraith? Have they any hobbys, exept hunting on humans? Do they play anything? Have Wraith pets?

    Do they have Wii? Perhaps you could buy one from Todd?

  38. Joe-

    You know how I got a Wii last year for my brother? I was one of the fools who stood outside the day they came out (luckily I chose a suburban Target to, er, target, so the competition wouldn’t be so bad). I froze for 2 hours and got one, but they were literally gone by 8:05 AM. Target will probably get a shipment for Sunday, but you will literally have to get there before the store opens. Your best bet is eBay. Yeah, you’ll pay more than retail, but the Wii is like the Cabbage Patch doll of 2007 (and last year’s Christmas as well). But on a fun note, they are cool as hell.

    And yeah, I earned sister of the year for that act of sibling love. Too bad I AM his only sister…..

  39. Hey Joe. Sorry to hear about Jelly being under the weather. Animals being sick is such a stressful time. Each time you ask “Are you ok?” strangely enough you don’t get too much helpful information back. And then you don’t know if the meds are really what they need so you ask after you have given it to them “feeling better?”. Hmmm, still the same sad look. Then you ask the other dogs, “is Jelly ok?”, hoping for some communication miracle. Nuttin.

    We have been in the same boat for the last two days with our Kelpie. He stole some cooked lamb cutlets which can spell disaster (nothing like a friends horror story of her dog dying from the exact same thing). I ring the vet, “Hi, my Kelpie just stole a few cooked lamb bones and I’m worried, should I bring him down now”. Her response “you know they shouldn’t have cooked bones you know”. Would I be ringing if I thought it was all ok? Sheesh.

  40. So sorry to hear that Jelly is not feeling too well. I hope she is feeling better soon. She’s such an adorable little thing.
    If I’d known you were looking for a Wii for Fondy I would have told you to tell your sister or your mom to be at the store I work for at 8 a.m EST this morning. We received 20 Wii’s on Thursday which we were not allowed to put out on the floor until this morning. Since it was not an advertised special I imagine that they were only gone by 8:15 a.m.

  41. Sorry to hear about Jelly, hope that she starts feeling better soon. Then again, she’s probably enjoying the extra attention that you are giving her. 🙂

    You are kidding about the eye waxing? Right?? Your just so silly at times. Not to rub it in, but I got my son the Wii for Christmas. I can’t wait for him to open it up, so I can start playing some of the games! 🙂

    I like the new digs..the pictures are a bit pain in the neck to open, but I’ll figure it out.

    Enjoy your Mom’s company this week. Have a goodnight. 🙂

    ~rac

  42. Hi Joe,
    Nice shirt! I thought y’all would be announcing season 5’s cast line-up this week. Next week, perhaps? As a Christmas gift to all of us?
    Best of luck with Poor Jelly!

  43. Fondy’s looking for a Wii eh? Good luck! I had to sit outside of a Best Buy for 13 hours on launch day to get mine. It seemed crazy back then, but now everyone is still jealous of me and the damn thing has been out for over a year!

    When you get one be sure to email me your friend code so I can send you my Bob Ross and Chuck Norris Miis

  44. It seems like everyone and their mothers is trying for a Wii this year… I thought with all the craziness last year, it would have definitely died down by now but apparently not. Even here in NYC where we have Nintendo World (gets daily shipments unlike other stores with their weekly ones), it’s a bit hard to get one without waiting in line for a few hours in the cold. I’ve been told that the line starts at 3 AM… >< I’m just glad my brother already scored one last year and is currently still enjoying it like crazy. ^^

    Anyway, since my brother was a crazy Wii stalker, I can tell you that Sunday mornings are the best times to get Wiis, and getting there before the store actually opens is probably the best way to insure getting one.

  45. we had a pug and she was very clever at getting my hubby to run after her,she would sit at the bottom of the stairs and give him the gooey eyes til he carried her up,if she was home with me she would run up in front of me,and she was a terrrible snorer!

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