I’ve often said that succeeding in this business is 33% talent, 33% luck, 33% connections, and 1% miscellaneous, but the truth is that behind the talent and the luck and the connections and the miscellaneous are the gatekeepers, the holders of the keys to the enchanted city. They are the people who take the time from their busy schedules to read your stuff and recognize your potential. The people who roll the dice on and gave you a shot, allowing you your big breaks into the fields of animation, live action teen comedy, crappy action-dramas, and, ultimately the wonderful world of Stargate. Without them, who knows what kind of bizarre and potentially life-threatening vocations I may have had to undertake in order to make ends meet: mercenary soldier, human guinea pig for advanced scientific research, high school history teacher. And so, I dedicate this blog entry to those who helped me get my foot in the door. A big thank you to –

Thomas LaPierre of then Crayon Animation who was one of only two people to respond to the hundred or so query letters I sent out one Summer in search of a job as a script reader. “We don’t have jobs for script readers,”he informed me, “but we’re always looking for animation writers.” I studied plenty of animation scripts, read the various show bibles that were sent my way, wrote my very first sample script (an episode that was eventually produced for The Busy World of Richard Scarry, titled “Patrick Pig Learns to Talk”) and, through Thomas’s help, started my professional career as a freelance animation writer.

In time, Crayon Animation became Cinar Animation, and I went from being a freelance animation writer to an in-house Manager of Animation Development thanks to then Vice President of Animation Production Cassandra Schafhausen. She liked my writing enough to offer me a staff position in development and, over the course of the next few years, helped me hone my craft as I developed shows, wrote pilots, and story-edited animated series. From there…

Thanks to my Seinfeld spec, the feature script Paul and I had written over the course of one Summer, and the support of producers Michael Klinghoffer, Judy Spencer, and Alan Silberberg, Paul and I made the leap from animation to live action, enjoying two memorable years on the teen sitcom Student Bodies.

Our next leap was in most part due to the persistence of our Canadian agent, Carl Liberman, who got our work out there, got it recognized, and landed us gigs on a couple of one hour dramas that proved, if not entirely forgettable, at least a wonderful stepping stone to –

Stargate SG-1. The big thank you’s here go out to Brad Wright and Robert Cooper who not only invited us to pitch and eventually contracted us to write our very first Stargate script (a little episode called Scorched Earth), but found us not-annoying-enough to bring on as full-time members of the writing staff, demonstrating incredible in showing us the ropes and allowing us to grow not only as writers, but as producers as well.

So a big thanks to all of the above. To Thomas LaPierre who is still writing (but has yet to send me that damn one hour sample script I’ve been bugging him for) and who I try to see whenever I’m in Montreal in order to say hi and pay him his customary tribute (a bottle of Scotch). To Cassandra Schafhausen who is still developing children’s programming and with whom I exchanged emails just the other month. To Michael, Judy, and Alan who I’ve lost touch with since our Student Bodies days and hope are keeping well and successful. To my Canadian agent Carl who still reps us in Canada (while the magnificent Robb Rothman handles us south of the border). And to Brad and Robert who continue to support Paul and I in our first year as series show runners, through 11th hour set construction crises, last minute scheduling conflicts, and the milestone 75th episode musical.

Also, at the behest of a buddy from Montreal, I joined facebook last weekend. I was reluctant at first, not at all interested in being deluged by long-forgotten acquaintances from my past, but decided to go ahead anyway, moving forward with the understanding that I would only use it as a means of getting back in touch with my old friends. I was in such a rush when I signed up that I whipped through the Profile section. Assuming it requested my gender, I selected the appropriate entry. It was only today that I realized it hadn’t asked me my gender, but for my interests. So, for the past five days, anyone who had looked me up would have found the following profile setting: Joseph Mallozzi. Interested in: Men. I’m sure Fondy would’ve been more surprised than anyone.

And finally, a big, big, BIG thank you to Lorr54 who sent us a whack of mouth-meltingly divine homemade truffles bursting with the flavors of 62% Scharffen Berger dark chocolate, heavy cream, vanilla, and Godiva liqueur. Forget what I said earlier about dedicating this blog to all of the people who got me to where I am today. This blog is dedicated to Lorr54 and her heavenly truffles.

Today’s pics: That whack o’ truffles, enjoying the truffles, a wraith who likes to look his best, a big thumbs up on today’s lunch of spicy chicken salad and sweet sweeeeet human life force,

Lotsa mail –

Anonymous #1 writes: “What is the one must read website that you seem to visit most frequently?”

Answer: Honestly? My own.

Anonymous #2 writes: “Do you konw if any of the SG-1 actors will be going to Comic Con this year to promote the two movies?”

Answer: At present, I’m not sure who will be joining us from the SG-1 contingent.

Michelle writes: “How have the read-throughs worked out in terms of reducing on-set script change requests? Aside from being shown up by the producers acting-wise :), are the actors finding the reads useful? How about the writers?”

Answer: The read-throughs have been useful. They’ve allowed the actors to pinpoint any script concerns early enough for the writers to address them. They’ve also given the writers the opportunity to hear their words spoken aloud in the event they want to dialogue changes prior to shooting.

Anonymous #3 writes: “ Have you ever tried reindeer meat?”

Answer: Yup. My wife loves venison.

Anonymous #4 writes: “With all the top executive shuffling at Uni lately, as a producer, are you concerned how that may affect programming decisions at SciFi Channel?”

Answer: Nope.

Aclarar writes: “I thought you, from all people, will know what a cliche is.”

Answer: I do. And yet I get the feeling you don’t. Even though you provide some stock examples amidst your righteous indignation, you never do get around to actually pointing out what cliché I offered that provoked your cretinous rant. I said “the audience in Mexico […] demonstrated their displeasure with their northern neighbors by lustily booing Miss U.S.A.”. How is that a cliché? Have you seen a lot of beauty pageant audiences in Mexico voicing their displeasure with certain countries by booing their representatives? Does it happen a lot? So much so that you consider it a cliché? Or are you simply taking offense at the assumption that the audience’s reaction was a puzzling attempt at political commentary? Would you feel better assuming that rather than being misguided, the audience members were simply jerks, booing because: a) the poor girl fell and that, presumably, is a good enough reason to belittle someone, or b) she had the audacity not to know any Spanish (the nerve of her!). Please, feel free to offer an excuse for their boorish behavior. I’d love to hear your take on how they were grossly misinterpreted.

Luis Jr. writes: “Does Ivan Bartok have a Blog site??”

Answer: He used to have a blog on Gateworld. I believe he still does.

Breeze writes: “Joe is your job always as exciting as you put it?”

Answer: My job is exciting? Are you sure you’ve been reading the right blog?

Zabadoo writes: “1.)If Atlantis gets cancelled, do you think it will go on with movies like SG-1 is getting? 2.)How about a trilogy of movies in the theater that combine Atlantis and SG-1 into three huge movies? 3.)In the episode Prototype, was Khalek ever planned to be a major villain?”

Answers: 1) Cancelled? So pessimistic! We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it – hopefully in another five years or so. 2) Sounds good. 3) Nope.

Anonymous #5 writes: “I was curious what your thoughts are on organic foods.”

Answer: I try to eat organic whenever possible.

Jafacakes writes: “When you review your meals, do you take notes during the meals as well as photos or you do it all from memory?”

Answer: I usually snap a picture of the menu to remind me.

Jafacakes also writes: “In a few blogs ago you mention Blindness, as it is not a widely know author how did you come across his book – recomendation or impulse buying? Would you be interested in it’s sequell(of sorts) Seeing?”

Answer: Blindness was recommended to me by our Playback Supervisor Krista McLean. I have a good hundred or so books to get through (just finished Parable of the Talents) so I’m afraid I won’t be getting around to the sequel anytime soon. P.S. Thanks again for the chocolate.

Hannah writes: “Did you intend to have Daniel and Vala interact so much when Claudia Black first came on, or did it just develop from seeing their chemistry? Combination?”

Answer: A little of both. The intent was always there, but the obvious chemistry between the two made writing for them all that much more interesting.

Anonymous #6 writes: “A couple of days ago, you mentioned yet ANOTHER possible first name for Major Lorne. Hadn’t it been decided it was Evan, or was that changed?”

Answer: I mentioned this in the writers’ room and no one can remember ever having ever given him the name Evan. Is this the stuff of legend or is it based on fact and if it is based on fact, please direct me to the episode in which he was so christened.

57 thoughts on “May 30, 2007

  1. We’re thankful to everyone who got you to where you are too;-) We love Stargate and your writing…and your blog.

  2. ” Answer: I try to eat organic whenever possible.”

    Have you ever tried Organic Oreos? They are quite delicious!

    Also, I added you as a friend on Facebook. Please don’t reject me. 🙂

  3. Facebook is, in my experience, the best of the social networking sites. The clean, restrained design keeps people with bad taste from going crazy, so you don’t see MySpace-style horrors where you go to a page with an animated gif background, three auto-playing music files running on top of each other and red on green text. The privacy system is much better, as well, compared to MySpace’s “let it all hang out” philosophy. Facebook does, however, offer enough flexibility to put your own stamp on your page, so it’s more than a glorified phonebook.

    As the waiter might say after you order your wine, “Excellent choice, sir.”

  4. Joe, great work. I was wondering, are we to assume that Ford is “dead” or is he “Comic Book Dead” as in he will return sometime. Is there any chance of his return? Thanks your favorite Ragin Cajun…I got the Radio, Movie and Television Production College diploma to prove it!

  5. Lol!
    Wow, the whole part about facebook, and ‘interested in men’ made me laugh so hard:)
    Thank you for your writing and blog!

  6. O, and I forgot to ask:
    How do you feel about people ‘stalking’ you online. For example, since you made a facebook, do you care if fans add you as a friend, or do you sometimes prefer if you can only add the people you know?
    Have a lovely week/end:)

  7. Dear Mr. Mallozzi,

    1. How did the Wing Commander (Flanagan) come up with the script for “Epiphany?”
    2. Following up with your last answer, I understand what you mean. I just wish there was a way.
    3. My friend is interested in Sailor Moon. If it is your cup of tea, can you recommend any episodes?



    P.S. My friend is having a birthday on Saturday, so I need an answer as soon as possible.

  8. Just thought I’d let you know that there is now an “appreciation” thread for you over on Gateworld. Doesn’t it make you feel special?

  9. As part of a background check for a job, the police department asked me if I had a page on MySpace or Facebook. I had to admit that yes, I am on MySpace, and no, there isn’t anything weird on my page, at which point GeekBoy chimed in, “Depends on how you define weird.” Brat.

  10. How to you feel about livejournal? Do you have a secret blog there? Have you seen any of the Stargate communities?

  11. I don’t normally hold this opinion of the wraith (with perhaps one or two exceptions), but that first wraith is sorta hot. His nose reminds me of Peter Wingfield. Speaking of which, you should have him on. Maybe he can be a wraith. Or bring Tanith back. Or reveal that Tanith wasn’t really killed when Teal’c shot down his ship, but escaped at the last instant through a tiny tear in the space-time continuum, ended up in Pegasus back when that wraith was experimenting on humans and got turned into a wraith. You know, whichever. (Incidentally, I kinda feel like Tanith, or rather, Hebron, was perhaps the first in a long line of shafted-by-the-good-guys characters, which has now come to include Fifth, Ford, Niam and Michael.)

    On the subject of Lorne’s first name, I had heard that it was supposedly Evan, too, though not canon yet. But if you guys haven’t settled on one, perhaps there’s still hope for those who want him to be named Spansky. I’m not one of them, of course. I think that’s kind of a silly name. Although I think it would be really entertaining if his name turned out to be Lorne Lorne. Or Loren Lorne. Seeing as we haven’t heard it yet, I think there should be an amusing reason when we finally do find out, like with “Meredith”.

  12. First off, Let me congradulate you on getting over your food poisoning. I recently had Ecoli so thank god you didnt get that. lol

    I was curious, With Stargate Universe hopefully coming at some point. Is there a new direction that you’d like to take with Stargate? (new series, movie ect.)

  13. Hi Joe:

    Anonymous #2 writes: “Do you konw if any of the SG-1 actors will be going to Comic Con this year to promote the two movies?”

    You replied: At present, I’m not sure who will be joining us from the SG-1 contingent.

    Cliff Simon will be at Comic Con signing autographs. I’m sure he’d be quite pleased to comment on Continuum while there if he’s asked.

    Question: As a Canadian writer/producer, is it harder to get accepted as a writer for U.S. television, or are you accepted as easily as an American writer would be?


  14. Considering you eat out so much, I doubt there’s a lot of organic consumption!

  15. How is all this chocolate getting to you? Where are they sending it? 😉

  16. 1) In season 2 of Atlantis, there is an episode which has a french title : Coup d’Etat. Why do you have used a french title ?

    2) Did you have opportunity to watch an episode of Stargate in french ?

  17. I’ve been re-watching my SG-1 DVDs and a thought occurred to me re the Asgard and the Tok’Ra…
    The Tok’Ra need more hosts or they’ll die out, and the Asgard need more DNA cos they’re “fading”, right?
    Why didn’t anyone stick them in a room together with some low lights and soft music and let them go at it?
    Voilà the Asgard get more DNA and the Tok’Ra get all the hosts they want.

    And you’d get some majorally funkeh p0rn too…

  18. I know it’s probably the least reliable of sources, but IMDb seems to think Major Lorne’s first name is Evan…

    Any suggestions for a 16 year old voracious sci-fi/fantasy reader (my son) looking to cross over from books for “young” readers to more adult concepts?

  19. I used to love the Busy World stories by Richard Scarry when I was a kid!

    Is that the story where they take the Pig to the Blarney stone so he’ll start to talk and then he won’t shut up?

  20. 33% luck, 33% connections

    Definately agree with you there. Though I would have given about 50% to connections (the all important thing to break into the entertainment business from my view and experience)

    Working my way through my Wen chocolate order-via the glowing last review you gave (and to treat myself for my birthday which was Tuesday)

    So far tried the Savannah chocolate truffle (different),the Bourbon-Vanille (did nothing for me) and the Bananas Foster (amazing! You were right on this one! Will order again.)

  21. Kali Weir a ecrit: “Quel épisode tournez-vous en ce moment?”

    Reponse: “Mai on se rappelle tous mes péchés”.

    Just like May the Force….. is translated in “Que la Force soit…” I think “Be all my sins…” means “Puisse t-on se rappeler tous mes péchés!” or “Que l’on se rappelle tous mes péchés !.

  22. hmmmmmm les truffes on l aire délicieuse!!!
    oh dommage que j abite pas au canada ou au usa, car j en auré des truc a vous envoyer^^! surtout que mon pére a patissier!!

    quel est votre patisserie préféré??

    Voila ! salut!!merci

  23. I did the very same thing on facebook. My boyfriend noticed right away, “hmm I didn’t know you were interested in females…?” Apparently neither did I…LOL!

    My question of the day is, do the actors have much say regarding clothing or props that their character might wear or use? For example, did Joe decided that Sheppard would wear the black wrist band or was it you guys, also, the stuff in Sheppard’s room like the Johnny Cash poster, was that Joe Flanigan or the set design guys?


  24. Hi Joe

    You appear to be back to your old self and that’s a good thing.. As Martha would say..

    Re your other possible career choices.. a mercenary soldier?? Of course you did the next best thing.. became a writer.. you know, the pen is mighter than the sword and no chance of getting shot .. well maybe a few potshots from critics..

    Did I read you right.. Did you do some work for Seinfeld? That was the funniest show. Not one of the characters had a nice bone in their body but they sure could make you laugh.. I guess it was the shock factor.

    Carl must be jumping for joy this morning. Another Duck win..
    We’ve got to do something about that.. Can’t have those Americans beating us out at our own game…

    Have a great day


  25. 1.)Have you tried talking Michael Shanks into guest starring in Atlantis soon?
    2.)Any plans on retiring old Jack O’Neill?
    3.)Which do you prefer SG-1 seasons 8-10 or Atlantis 1-3?

  26. Morning Joe!

    This is your Louisiana culinary fan/Atlantis fan reporting in once again.

    How’s my jambalaya you asked. My mom-in-law makes the BEST in the world in my opinion. I’m better at chicken and sausage gumbo to be honest. Please do come and visit! However, be advised hurricane season begins tomorrow….and we’re supposed to have another active one. ::shudders:: My family’s still reeling from Katrina, and we’re in the part of the state that got hit by Rita 3 weeks later, so we hope and pray we don’t get any more bad weather.

    Lorne’s first name starts with a “W”? Ummm, okay. Wolfgang? Wilbur? Waldo? It has to rival Meredith!!

    I have to get together with Lorr and find out how she makes those truffles! They look great.

    Take care!

  27. Good morning again Joe!

    Thanks for responding to my question about organic foods. I’m a huge fan of organic, but the problem for us is that we live in a small town so unfortunately organic-vs-non-organic isn’t always an option. We did have our own garden for awhile, in which the deer and raccoon seemed to appreciate. Do you ever garden or grow your own foods?

  28. You know I was once read that “95% of success was showing up.” Although, it was posted in the dressing room of an actor who slept through his Act I entrance and the stage manager had to go on w/ script in hand. So, maybe whoever hung that sign was biased…

  29. A big thank you to all the people who got you into this work!
    It’s always a joy to find out where the new season takes us.
    As for Major Lorne’s first name: “Go Nuts!” ;0)

    How about some

  30. Back from the depths of Star Wars Celebration and quite sorry to hear about the food poisoning. However, I have to say that your food choices for getting back on the eating game are a bit questionable. Very obviously, though, you’re feeling better.

    Catching up on your blogs, I’m actually suspecting the green onions at Bishops. They’re notoriously hard to clean and the timing would be about right for the stuff that usually infects green onions.

    Always difficult to figure out.

    And even though SciFi annoyed me with that six-month hiatus, I am much appreciative of them saving the next new episodes for this week when I’m back home!

  31. Wow. One must really be careful what they mark down when they sign up for stuff, huh?

    As for the first name of Major Lorne, for some reason I was for some time under the impression that it was Marcus. However, now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure it was never spoken in one of the episodes, so I don’t know where I got. *shrugs* It’s possible I just thought it sounded good… I just don’t remember.

  32. Hi Joe!

    About your last post I am agree with you when you say:

    “I’ve often said that succeeding in this business is 33% talent, 33% luck, 33% connections, and 1% miscellaneous, but the truth is that behind the talent and the luck and the connections and the miscellaneous are the gatekeepers, the holders of the keys to the enchanted city.”

    But I think this theory is not only in cinema or TV world. This happens in all kind jobs. I think it is more difficult to enter in “Wonderland” (I refer to cinema and TV world) because there are so many people who wants to enter for to discover its wonders.

    I want to try if it is possible to send my resume to Stargate series, but I don’t know, to who and where I must to send my resume… do you know it? Are you sure that the “gatekeepers” will read all the resumes?


    About chocolates I found some interesting Chocolate Museums links:


    As I am diabetic I can’t eat chocolate, but I can eat chocolate without sugar, but I prefer no to eat so much because I don’t want to increase of weight.

    I like Valor (http://www.valor.es/ ) and Nestlé (http://www.nestle.com/ ) chocolate. And black pure chocolate without sugar.

    Have you seen the movie “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”?

  33. Hi there Joe…looks like you’re over the food poisoning now, from that photo anyway. Good to see!

    LOL!! The 75th episode is a musical. Um…you are joking right? Although, thinking about it, it could work. McKay and his rapping skills. We know Teyla can sing. Ronon…hmmm…I can see him doing a Yul Brynner + hair (um…a lot of hair) ‘The King and I’ style! Sheppard…he likes Johnny Cash and he has a guitar in his quarters. Yep, I’m seeing where you’re going with this! Bring it on!

    Pur-lease can you give us Shep fans any more little spoilers for s4?

    Have a bliss day!

  34. Hi Joe

    Would it be okay if I asked a question?

    I’ll ask anyway….

    I’m a long time fan of SG1. Sam is my favorite character. But I am curious about something. The characters of this show have this incredibly horrific and stressful job. I don’t ever remember watching them deal with the emotional fallout from the stress of their job other than a few minor emotional moments, some comforting dialogue, and a few really nice hugs. I could be wrong but I’m pretty sure normal people in the real world end up with post traumatic stress (or some other such serious illness) after having watched people die (witnessed the aftermath of a global destruction) or maybe having to have killed someone. Is there a reason the writers have never really dealt with that kind of long-term issue with the characters?

    Thanks for everything. I’d like to place an order for more pics of the chocolate please.


    PS: I haven’t been able to see many of the episodes since Jack left so I could be wrong….

  35. Well, all us fans are grateful to your people too, Joe. And thanks to you for giving us this little insight into the world behind Stargate.

    I love Richard Scarry…haha, “Patrick Pig” was used as an example of Irish stereotypes in my Celtic history class this year. *nerds out*

    Believe me, once you start on Facebook, you never go back. I joined just to appease my sister and now I’m addicted–here in Nova Scotia it’s even gone so far as getting CTV coverage when a Halifax kid got a caricature tattoo of a local news anchor, Bruce Frisko after 25,000 people joined his FB community. Pretty amusingly strange stuff goes on in there. You’ll have fun. =P

  36. Your comment about a musical for the 75 SGA ep got me to thinking about the 100 ep of SGA. When you get to that momentous ep of SGA any ideas for what you would like to do? I love what you did for SG1’s 100th.

  37. Any chances that you’ll make your facebook account so that it is not private?

  38. This isn’t sci-fi related, but I was wondering if you have ever read Empire Falls by Richard Russo… if you haven’t, you should… next to the Harry Potter books, it is easily one of the greatest out there.

  39. In season 4 in the episodes that Elizabeth is not in, where will she be?
    b)elsewhere in the Milky Way
    d)elsewhere in Pegasus
    e)elsewhere in the Universe
    or f)I’m not allowed to know

  40. To clear that up: Major Lorne’s first name being ‘Marcus’ is a fandom creation. Fanfic writers made up the name and it became quite popular, many people used it in their stories. I liked it, too, but it’s just fanon, not canon.

    Kavan Smith himself said in the interview that was pointed out here already, that he officially has a first name now, and that this name is ‘Evan’. So I was really suprised to hear that it’s something that’s starting with ‘W’ now. 🙂

    So, what about ‘Major W. Marcus Evan Lorne’? *g*

  41. 1. Will McKay ever speak with Carter and his team about Siberia? They send him there after the 48 Hours.

    2. Will Lorne mention the Unas race? His team had a very strange connection with them in Enemy Mine. What did he learn from Chaka?

  42. Any chance that Teyla will get some lovinn’ this season? I can’t shake the feeling that her pregnancy will have some supernatural element to it, but I love her and would love to see someone interested in her. Sheppard, Weir, McKay, Beckett, and even Ronon (in flashbacks) have had some. She’s too lovely a woman for someone not to be interested in her.

    *fingers crosed*

  43. So, have you had chance to read Good Omens yet or is it still in your “to read” pile? I’m interested to know what you think of it…

  44. So Joe, any good news with the ratings for Atlantis for The Ark and The Game? Last posted on GW was for Tao of Rodney with 1.1.

  45. What are your thoughts on the craze of foams and molecular gastronomy? Lately I’m of the opinion that while they can create some really interesting tastes and textures, it is just too much hoopla. In the end there is just something missing from the dining experience.

  46. Hello Joe! First off thank you for making me laugh. I love seeing new posts from you.
    Secondly, (in response to a comment on Jason with glasses)he looks good in anything! Not that you would think that. Of course I’m a glasses girl…and accent girl. Which brings me to three… I have to say can we have more Zelenka??? David Nykl is so great! I love all the characters, but have a secret crush on Zelenka…accent…glasses…mumblings and all.~kami

  47. Joe, I love your blog.
    It nice to heard what people did before doing their current jobs. You are right, sometimes it not what you know but who you know when you get a job.

    Keep up the good work!!!

  48. to joe, have a great idea for a plot line. wish there was a way to email you. im retired from my local police department and have a little more time now love the show

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